XVI

"Carol?"

The assistant looked up from her computer as her boss entered the office.

"How's it going?" CJ asked, though she didn't really need Carol to confirm her own suspicions.

"It's all over the net, CJ," she confirmed with a sorrowful frown. "A lot of the discussion groups are picking it up; they're debating the veracity of the source, a couple of people have been sticking up for Rogers's credentials as a biographer..." She gave CJ a wry smile of commiseration. "Everybody in the press room's gonna have it by now."

"Yeah." Not that she hadn't known that, but... "Yeah." CJ nodded, and absently tapped a finger on the goldfish bowl to get Gail's attention. In a few short hours time, the president was probably going to know exactly how Gail felt. They'd prepped the senior staff to give them some time to get ready for the pitch, and Abbey would be talking to Zoey today; Liz and Ellie already knew. Everybody else was going to hear about the president's past as it unfolded in the press room.

The president hadn't liked her knowing about his troubles with his father, and had liked her talking to people even less. She could only imagine how hard this kind of media coverage was going to hit him. Technically the press had no right and no reason to bring personal issues from the distant past front and centre like this... but they all knew how far they'd get trying to take that line in the press room. The media reported what they would; shut them out completely, and there'd be hell to pay when they drew their own conclusions.

It was a familiar enough cycle of compromise, but this time the 'juicy little titbits' they were tossing out to keep the masses happy were the extremely private pains of a man she loved and respected. And she had a nasty feeling that what little the president was prepared to let them admit to wasn't going to be nearly enough to satisfy the public's lust for gory details.

CJ pushed back her hair and sat down, reaching for her glasses. "Okay," she sighed. "You'd better give me Sam and Toby's notes."

Bonnie and Ginger exchanged glances over the tops of their coffee cups. Something was going on, both of them knew it. Toby and CJ had been exuding tension for some time now, but yesterday it had leapt to encompass Sam and Josh... And that meant that whatever it was, it was on its way to making a splash.

Considering all the troubling secrets that had been revealed to them at one time or another - and a few more that they'd only ever guessed at - neither was looking forward to that much at all.

They drank coffee in companionable silence, both knowing that this could be their last chance of the day to actually sit still and take a break.

"I see Sam's still got his beard," Bonnie observed after a moment. By now their boss's attempt at a goatee had progressed to the stage where it no longer needed to be referred to using air quotes.

"Think he'll keep it?" Ginger wondered, hunched over her drink.

Bonnie shrugged.

"I think Toby'll sneak in and shave it off him next time he falls asleep on his couch," Ginger added, after a moment.

"I think Toby feels threatened by the presence of additional facial hair in the office environment."

"He's got beard rage," Ginger offered.

"He's worried about Sam stealing his individuality."

"Sam's turning into Toby-lite."

They were both briefly silenced by this disturbing possibility.

"Do we get the pool money back if Sam keeps the beard?" Bonnie wondered.

Ginger raised an eyebrow. "Ed and Larry, pay out?"

"Guess not."

There was a long silence.

"What's going on, Ginger?"

Ginger met her eyes. "I don't know," she admitted.

"Carol knows."

"So does Donna."

"Yeah."

Their fellow assistants knew, but neither of them would break the unspoken code to press for details. Your first loyalty was always to your boss, and secrets were to be passed down, not sideways. Whatever it was, they would wait for Toby or Sam to tell it to them.

Assuming it didn't become known of its own accord. Ginger recognised the signs too well.

"Whatever it is, it's breaking today."

"Yeah."

They put down their empty coffee cups, and prepared to back their bosses up however they were going to be needed.

The tension in Leo's office was thick enough to eat with an ice-cream scoop. Toby stood scowling at the floor, in a way that made it hard to tell whether he was angry or just staring blankly. Sam was reading and re-reading his notes, absently but continuously rubbing at his chin. Leo would have snapped at him to stop it if he wouldn't have felt incredibly stupid doing so.

Josh, unusually, wasn't fidgeting. He stood with his back against the wall, staring vaguely upwards so that Leo was unable to catch his eye and check if he was even mentally present.

The room was too silent and had too much breathing in it. Even the MS revelation hadn't held such an aura of discomfort. That had made everybody angry, upset and confrontational; this, everybody just didn't want to think or talk about. It carried the unpleasantly unclean feel of uninvited intimacy; an aspect of Jed's life that should never have been theirs to poke through and dissect.

Just the thought of it... Someone who thought like Jed Bartlet, facing brutal punishment every time he stepped beyond the lines of conventional wisdom, every time he stretched for the unknown solution or dreamed of changing the world... Leo had to close his eyes against the mental images.

How had that not been beaten out of him? How had he survived with that centre of his faith and optimism intact?

Leo had seen most of his own faith in the world chipped away by hard knocks from a cynical life, and the rest had been swept out from under him in the aftermath of a war that should never have been fought. It was Jed who had taught him to think otherwise, that you could recapture that spark of hope and keep it alight no matter how dark and dire the situation.

Leo had never been swayed by the school of thought that said his old friend was a pampered intellectual who knew nothing of the problems he pledged to defeat, but even so, he'd had no idea of the true heat of the fires his determination had been forged in. He'd been aware of a certain sorrowful coolness when Jed spoke of his father - which he rarely did - and had guessed at some battle of wills or gulf of disapproval, left unfixed too long and too late. He'd never imagined the man Jed had long credited for his stubbornness and iron determination could have been such a brutal influence.

Everybody whipped around as the door creaked open and CJ finally joined them. Leo could tell from her face that she was already mentally preparing her answers and defences. He questioned her with an eyebrow.

"We're briefing at two," she said flatly, shaking her head. "We can't hold them off any longer without them knowing we're doing it."

"They'll know anyway," Toby interjected quietly.

"Yeah, but they'll let me do it."

Leo wondered if any of the press were as uncomfortable as the five of them with the prospect of dragging something so deep-rooted and personal into the open. Perhaps, but that wouldn't stop them doing it; in this world of competing headlines, a crowd of journalists had only the integrity of its lowest member.

Well, they'd damn well better have trouble sleeping tonight.

Another awkward silence descending. Sam was the first to crack in the face of the question they were all thinking, half turning to face him. "Leo, how's-?"

"The president is not getting dragged into this," Leo cut him off with brusque finality.

Josh stared at him incredulously. "Leo! It's his life, how can he not-?"

"That's exactly why he's not getting dragged into it." Leo glared around at them all, meeting no resistance. "We can't protect him from this story breaking, but we can make damn sure whatever his thoughts and feelings are, they stay his own."

His conversation with the president the day before had stuck with him. Jed didn't want to be defined in terms of this. He didn't want everything in his life to suddenly become about how he was reacting to this, or everybody around him to suddenly start treating him as if he was fragile. He didn't-

"He doesn't want his father to be destroyed by this."

CJ's soft, solemn words fell like lead into the silence, and everybody was crushed by the weight of them. Your heart bled just on principle, and then you really thought about what that actually meant, and suddenly it hurt a whole lot more.

Toby was the first to snap out of it, shifting his feet and letting out a breath that might have been a sigh. He looked up at Leo. "Cambodia?"

"We're waiting."

Toby nodded, and the others started to move, coming out of stasis. Leo dismissed them with a silent gesture of his head.

Josh was the last to move, and Leo called him back. "Josh."

He turned.

"You okay?"

Josh gave him a pale smile and a slight shrug. "I'm fine."

"Okay."

Josh left.