DISCLAIMER: Scholastic Inc. owns Animorphs. So does eveyone's favorite
googly human, K.A. Applegate!!! I know everyone is out of character
but.sorry this is a spoof. And not a very good one at that. I only write
when Im in a bad mood.
NOTE: Okay I wrote this cause I'm mad. The world is sucking right now, so I needed a little bit of humor. You could say I have a defense mechanism similar to Marco. Anyway, I won't bore you wit h my life story, but GODDAMMN GREG!!!!! Hehe, ok, now if your mad, what better character to narrate your fic than RACHEL? Very convenient. Thanks K.A, for givin me Rachel.
Rachel -
I was ready to explode. Screw that, I DID explode.
"WHAT THE F*CKIN HELL DO WE CARE!!!!!! GODDAMMIT EREK IF YOU HADNT BEEN SUCH AN IDIOT ME AND TOBIAS COULD BE - " I stopped. Oops.
"Could be what?" Marco said, bouncing on a haystack. "What? (bounce) what? (bounce) what? OWWWWW!" he yelled.
"Ohh that's were I put my needle. In the haystack." Cassie said.
"Ahhhh owwwww, I'm gonna die!" Marco cried.
"Hold still." Jake said. He bent down and pulled something out from Marco's ass.
"AAAHHHHHHH!" Marco shrieked.
"Oops." Jake said
"Wow, that was one weird looking ass hair!" I commented.
Well, if we're not doing anything anymore. ..um, Rachel? Tobias asked,
"Screw it Tobias, the moments gone." I stomped out of the barn. Not before punching Erek in his mechanical face. And breaking four of my fingers. Everyone followed me.
"Hey wait!" Cassie yelled. "I'm still in the cage!"
Jake and I stayed behind to search for the key. He bent over the haystack all the way, checking to see if it was there. I saw Cassie not-so- subtly lean over to watch.
I rolled my eyes. "Wow Cass, that's low, even for Marco." I whispered. She winked at me. And called to Jake.
"Jake? Could you check under this table? Yeah this one. Right near me. Yeah. No, UNDER. Nothing? Keep looking." She instructed. Jake went under the table and reached around for it. Cassie watched his ass wiggle left and right left and right.
"Ok, I gotta go." I said quickly. And I ran out of the barn. I heard Cassie say something on my way out.
"Oh my, sorry Jake, I didn't know this hose was on. You should take off your shirt or you'll get a cold. Yeah and keep checking under that table. Mmm-hmm yeahh"
I got to my house and pulled open the door. My little sister Jordan was there watching TV. I wanted to watch TV. And hell, I deserved it, I was saving the world!
"Jordan, I'm watching, get the hell outta here!" I informed her kindly. I ripped the remote out of her hand and collapsed onto the sofa.
"WHAT! RACHEL you LOSER I was watching that!!!" she yelled. She dove for my remote.
"NO!" I yelled. "You stupid little airheaded, Mandy Moore wannabe!!"
"YOU UGLY PIMPLED, DROOPY-ASSED COW!!" she screamed back.
"YOU RETARDED, BUTT LICKING, ARMPIT SNIFFING TOAD!!" I shot back.
"YOU BITCHY, FREAKY, HAG WITH SPLIT-ENDS!!"
"YOU..you.FAT GIRL!!!" I screamed. I thought I touched a nerve finally. I didn't.
Jordan brought her hands to her face and sniffed sarcastically.
"(sniff) aww, your gonna make me cry (sniff) can you give me some TISSUES FROM YOUR BRA?"
Dead silence. I was going to kill her. I was very ready to morph grizzly, rip off her legs, and stuff them in her mouth. But then the phone rang.
"Jordan? Is for you." My other sister Sara called. Jordan smirked and walked away.
"Stupid bitch." I muttered. I looked around. THE STUPID FREAK BROUGHT THE REMOTE WITH HER!!
"Ehhhhh, f*ck it." I said. I plopped down and ended up watching what she was watching. The News. Some bald lady with a pink mustache was reporting on the Sharing.
"And today the Sharing has announced that they are going on a trip and if several people appear to be missing, it is because they are on this trip." The lady smirked an evil grin. Then suddenly -
"NO IT'S A LIE THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER - " The lady regained her composure. She smiled.
"Sorry. Too many chalupas."
I shut off the TV. This was serious. I had to tell the others. I ran to my room to morph. But then I ran to bathroom first, because I had the sudden urge to pee. Sara was in there.
"SARA HURRY UP I NEED TO PEE!" I yelled.
"Wait I need to take my time mommy said." She answered. I waited 5 minutes.
"SARA!"
"Otay, I need to wash my hands" I heard her set up the stool to help her reach the sink. I heard the water running. Then it stopped.
"LET ME IN!" I screamed.
"I forgot to flush." I heard her scamper to the toilet and flush. Then I heard the stool again.
"SARAAAAA!" I yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!"
"I need to wash my hands again 'cause the flusher is dirty mommy said."
I was gonna kill my mom too. When I had time.
Finally she opened the door. She walked out slowly. I had to restrain every muscle in my body from strangling her. Then - I suddenly didn't need to pee anymore.
"Ewwwwww! Rachel made pee pee! Ewwwwww!" Sara squealed. She skipped off to tell the world.
"F*ck the yeerks, I'm going to Tobias." I muttered. I changed and flew to his meadow, hopefully to spark up some action in the woods.
Hehe. The last chapter got no flames whatsoever. I wonder if this will get any? Let's wait and see..
NOTE: Okay I wrote this cause I'm mad. The world is sucking right now, so I needed a little bit of humor. You could say I have a defense mechanism similar to Marco. Anyway, I won't bore you wit h my life story, but GODDAMMN GREG!!!!! Hehe, ok, now if your mad, what better character to narrate your fic than RACHEL? Very convenient. Thanks K.A, for givin me Rachel.
Rachel -
I was ready to explode. Screw that, I DID explode.
"WHAT THE F*CKIN HELL DO WE CARE!!!!!! GODDAMMIT EREK IF YOU HADNT BEEN SUCH AN IDIOT ME AND TOBIAS COULD BE - " I stopped. Oops.
"Could be what?" Marco said, bouncing on a haystack. "What? (bounce) what? (bounce) what? OWWWWW!" he yelled.
"Ohh that's were I put my needle. In the haystack." Cassie said.
"Ahhhh owwwww, I'm gonna die!" Marco cried.
"Hold still." Jake said. He bent down and pulled something out from Marco's ass.
"AAAHHHHHHH!" Marco shrieked.
"Oops." Jake said
"Wow, that was one weird looking ass hair!" I commented.
Well, if we're not doing anything anymore. ..um, Rachel? Tobias asked,
"Screw it Tobias, the moments gone." I stomped out of the barn. Not before punching Erek in his mechanical face. And breaking four of my fingers. Everyone followed me.
"Hey wait!" Cassie yelled. "I'm still in the cage!"
Jake and I stayed behind to search for the key. He bent over the haystack all the way, checking to see if it was there. I saw Cassie not-so- subtly lean over to watch.
I rolled my eyes. "Wow Cass, that's low, even for Marco." I whispered. She winked at me. And called to Jake.
"Jake? Could you check under this table? Yeah this one. Right near me. Yeah. No, UNDER. Nothing? Keep looking." She instructed. Jake went under the table and reached around for it. Cassie watched his ass wiggle left and right left and right.
"Ok, I gotta go." I said quickly. And I ran out of the barn. I heard Cassie say something on my way out.
"Oh my, sorry Jake, I didn't know this hose was on. You should take off your shirt or you'll get a cold. Yeah and keep checking under that table. Mmm-hmm yeahh"
I got to my house and pulled open the door. My little sister Jordan was there watching TV. I wanted to watch TV. And hell, I deserved it, I was saving the world!
"Jordan, I'm watching, get the hell outta here!" I informed her kindly. I ripped the remote out of her hand and collapsed onto the sofa.
"WHAT! RACHEL you LOSER I was watching that!!!" she yelled. She dove for my remote.
"NO!" I yelled. "You stupid little airheaded, Mandy Moore wannabe!!"
"YOU UGLY PIMPLED, DROOPY-ASSED COW!!" she screamed back.
"YOU RETARDED, BUTT LICKING, ARMPIT SNIFFING TOAD!!" I shot back.
"YOU BITCHY, FREAKY, HAG WITH SPLIT-ENDS!!"
"YOU..you.FAT GIRL!!!" I screamed. I thought I touched a nerve finally. I didn't.
Jordan brought her hands to her face and sniffed sarcastically.
"(sniff) aww, your gonna make me cry (sniff) can you give me some TISSUES FROM YOUR BRA?"
Dead silence. I was going to kill her. I was very ready to morph grizzly, rip off her legs, and stuff them in her mouth. But then the phone rang.
"Jordan? Is for you." My other sister Sara called. Jordan smirked and walked away.
"Stupid bitch." I muttered. I looked around. THE STUPID FREAK BROUGHT THE REMOTE WITH HER!!
"Ehhhhh, f*ck it." I said. I plopped down and ended up watching what she was watching. The News. Some bald lady with a pink mustache was reporting on the Sharing.
"And today the Sharing has announced that they are going on a trip and if several people appear to be missing, it is because they are on this trip." The lady smirked an evil grin. Then suddenly -
"NO IT'S A LIE THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE OVER - " The lady regained her composure. She smiled.
"Sorry. Too many chalupas."
I shut off the TV. This was serious. I had to tell the others. I ran to my room to morph. But then I ran to bathroom first, because I had the sudden urge to pee. Sara was in there.
"SARA HURRY UP I NEED TO PEE!" I yelled.
"Wait I need to take my time mommy said." She answered. I waited 5 minutes.
"SARA!"
"Otay, I need to wash my hands" I heard her set up the stool to help her reach the sink. I heard the water running. Then it stopped.
"LET ME IN!" I screamed.
"I forgot to flush." I heard her scamper to the toilet and flush. Then I heard the stool again.
"SARAAAAA!" I yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!"
"I need to wash my hands again 'cause the flusher is dirty mommy said."
I was gonna kill my mom too. When I had time.
Finally she opened the door. She walked out slowly. I had to restrain every muscle in my body from strangling her. Then - I suddenly didn't need to pee anymore.
"Ewwwwww! Rachel made pee pee! Ewwwwww!" Sara squealed. She skipped off to tell the world.
"F*ck the yeerks, I'm going to Tobias." I muttered. I changed and flew to his meadow, hopefully to spark up some action in the woods.
Hehe. The last chapter got no flames whatsoever. I wonder if this will get any? Let's wait and see..