Yeah, this is the first chapter. Hope you enjoy it! Please leave a review to let us know what you think!
Disclaimer: We own it...heh...we WISH!
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"This place sucks ass!" Hermione yelled out her window. As she did this every animal seemed to look up at her. She looked at her mom's cow Cucumber. She was looking at Hermione as though she was having some very serious technical difficulties. "What are you looking at?" she asked the cow. Hermione hated that cow. She hated it like she hated Ron when he was making fun of the welfare of house elves. Hermione swore that that cow was planning to kill her. Cucumber was still looking at her as though she was crazy. "That's what I thought, bitch! Now what?" she yelled at the serial killer cow. "I hope your utters get tied up in a knot, you mushroom..."
"Oh my god! Why the hell am I yelling at a god damn cow?"
She knew why she was yelling at the cow. She was loosing her sanity. She'd only been here for a couple of days and she was already going mental. The only thing that kept her going was knowing that Ron and Harry, her best friends from Hogwarts, might be able to visit. All she needed to do was ask her mum or dad to let them come to the farm. Oh right. She could picture how that would go.
' "Daddy, can 2 hormonal 15 year olds come over? Pleeeassse???" '
Well, what else was she to do when she was on a FARM, for crying out loud?! Feed the stupid chickens?!?
"No thanks", Hermione muttered to Crookshanks.
Hermione was still gazing out her window when she heard an all familiar yell coming from her mother.
"Hermione? Hermione, can you please come here? I'm in the barn."
Groaning she got up and looked at crookshanks."I'll be right back...don't move an inch!" she told her lazy cat. She walked out of the door of her large room thinking how much she hated it here. She hadn't gotten a letter from Harry in a week and she wondered if he was OK. He was probably fine, but he wasn't allowed to use Hedwig so she didn't know what was happening with him.
She also hadn't gotten a letter from Ron in a couple of days. Not that it bothered her or anything, but she missed having someone to argue with all the time. She wondered if he was OK.
"Oh hell! Why wouldn't he be? It's only been a couple of days!" she said to herself as she headed out of the back door in the kitchen. It was a beautiful day outside. It's was so sunny and warm. She just wished she could have friends with her to enjoy it. She looked around at all the animals they had. She really hated animals all walking around. There was only animal that she could actually stand was her chicken named Gangsta. She laughed remembering how the chicken had gotten such a strange name. She had let Ron name it....
"Hi Gangsta!" she said cheerfully to the chicken. "God, I love that chicken...,"she thought to herself as she walked into the big, red barn. She saw her mother sitting in the middle on a turned over pail next to a certain cow.
"Oh no...not 'it'" she thought to herself as she neared her mother and the killer cow.
"Hermione, I wanted to ask if there was something wrong," her mother asked cautiously. "You don't seem like yourself lately. When I was on my way out to feed my little baby, I noticed that you were looking out your window like you were constipated or something."
"MUM!! I'M NOT CONSTIPATED!!" Hermione shouted shrilly.
"Well, then what is it? And don't say nothing is wrong, because i know something is."
"It's just that I'm bored, Mom! I have nothing to do here! Even I can only do my homework for so long Crookshanks and Gangster can only keep me company when they are actually awake, and if you have even bothered to notice MY FRIENDS AREN'T HERE!!!" she yelled causing all the birds in the barn to fly off.
"Well dear, why didn't you tell me! I would have found something for you to do around here...there's plenty!" her mom said cheerfully. "Why don't you help me with Cucumber? She needs a milking. What do you say?" her mom said looking at Hermione hopefully.
"NO! I'm not getting near that...that thing! It's gonna try to kill me!"
"Oh nonsense! Fine, if you're not gonna help me then what do you suggest you do for the rest of the summer?"
"I don't know..."
"I know!!" her mom said rather loudly.
"If it has anything to do with that cow my answer is no!" Hermione shot back, looking at Cucumber with suspicious eyes.
"No, no....Why don't you call your friends Harry and ummm...what's the other one's name...wait it's coming to me....DON! The scrawny little boy with red hair and freckles! Why don't you call them and ask them to come over for the rest of the summer?" her mom said excitedly.
Hermione glared at her mother. "For your information it's Harry and RON! And besides...daddy wouldn't want 2 15 year old boys coming over and hanging out with me all summer. You know how he is", Hermione said blushing. "And I can't just call them...Harry's uncle will have a fit, and RON doesn't even have a telephone."
"Well, then write them a letter by with Gangsta. It's the same thing, right? Just make sure your father doesn't see because he gets nervous when they are around, but he can't make them go home when their already here," her mum said winking.
"Really? You would let me do that?" Hermione eyed her mother curiously.
"Yes! Oh course I would! Now go write to them!"
"Thanks mum!!" Hermione said, leaning over and giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. She started to had out the barn when that stupid cow looked at her."You gotta problem with me? I got a wand and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Who are you talking to, dear?" Hermione's mother asked, looking up at her where she was starting to milk Cucumber.
"Um...no one mum. See you later!" She called as she raced out of the barn and away from the posessed cow.
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There's chapter one! Hope you like it, and leave a review please!
Sean Biggerstaff is better than Rupert Grint! :P
Disclaimer: We own it...heh...we WISH!
___________________________________________________________________________
"This place sucks ass!" Hermione yelled out her window. As she did this every animal seemed to look up at her. She looked at her mom's cow Cucumber. She was looking at Hermione as though she was having some very serious technical difficulties. "What are you looking at?" she asked the cow. Hermione hated that cow. She hated it like she hated Ron when he was making fun of the welfare of house elves. Hermione swore that that cow was planning to kill her. Cucumber was still looking at her as though she was crazy. "That's what I thought, bitch! Now what?" she yelled at the serial killer cow. "I hope your utters get tied up in a knot, you mushroom..."
"Oh my god! Why the hell am I yelling at a god damn cow?"
She knew why she was yelling at the cow. She was loosing her sanity. She'd only been here for a couple of days and she was already going mental. The only thing that kept her going was knowing that Ron and Harry, her best friends from Hogwarts, might be able to visit. All she needed to do was ask her mum or dad to let them come to the farm. Oh right. She could picture how that would go.
' "Daddy, can 2 hormonal 15 year olds come over? Pleeeassse???" '
Well, what else was she to do when she was on a FARM, for crying out loud?! Feed the stupid chickens?!?
"No thanks", Hermione muttered to Crookshanks.
Hermione was still gazing out her window when she heard an all familiar yell coming from her mother.
"Hermione? Hermione, can you please come here? I'm in the barn."
Groaning she got up and looked at crookshanks."I'll be right back...don't move an inch!" she told her lazy cat. She walked out of the door of her large room thinking how much she hated it here. She hadn't gotten a letter from Harry in a week and she wondered if he was OK. He was probably fine, but he wasn't allowed to use Hedwig so she didn't know what was happening with him.
She also hadn't gotten a letter from Ron in a couple of days. Not that it bothered her or anything, but she missed having someone to argue with all the time. She wondered if he was OK.
"Oh hell! Why wouldn't he be? It's only been a couple of days!" she said to herself as she headed out of the back door in the kitchen. It was a beautiful day outside. It's was so sunny and warm. She just wished she could have friends with her to enjoy it. She looked around at all the animals they had. She really hated animals all walking around. There was only animal that she could actually stand was her chicken named Gangsta. She laughed remembering how the chicken had gotten such a strange name. She had let Ron name it....
"Hi Gangsta!" she said cheerfully to the chicken. "God, I love that chicken...,"she thought to herself as she walked into the big, red barn. She saw her mother sitting in the middle on a turned over pail next to a certain cow.
"Oh no...not 'it'" she thought to herself as she neared her mother and the killer cow.
"Hermione, I wanted to ask if there was something wrong," her mother asked cautiously. "You don't seem like yourself lately. When I was on my way out to feed my little baby, I noticed that you were looking out your window like you were constipated or something."
"MUM!! I'M NOT CONSTIPATED!!" Hermione shouted shrilly.
"Well, then what is it? And don't say nothing is wrong, because i know something is."
"It's just that I'm bored, Mom! I have nothing to do here! Even I can only do my homework for so long Crookshanks and Gangster can only keep me company when they are actually awake, and if you have even bothered to notice MY FRIENDS AREN'T HERE!!!" she yelled causing all the birds in the barn to fly off.
"Well dear, why didn't you tell me! I would have found something for you to do around here...there's plenty!" her mom said cheerfully. "Why don't you help me with Cucumber? She needs a milking. What do you say?" her mom said looking at Hermione hopefully.
"NO! I'm not getting near that...that thing! It's gonna try to kill me!"
"Oh nonsense! Fine, if you're not gonna help me then what do you suggest you do for the rest of the summer?"
"I don't know..."
"I know!!" her mom said rather loudly.
"If it has anything to do with that cow my answer is no!" Hermione shot back, looking at Cucumber with suspicious eyes.
"No, no....Why don't you call your friends Harry and ummm...what's the other one's name...wait it's coming to me....DON! The scrawny little boy with red hair and freckles! Why don't you call them and ask them to come over for the rest of the summer?" her mom said excitedly.
Hermione glared at her mother. "For your information it's Harry and RON! And besides...daddy wouldn't want 2 15 year old boys coming over and hanging out with me all summer. You know how he is", Hermione said blushing. "And I can't just call them...Harry's uncle will have a fit, and RON doesn't even have a telephone."
"Well, then write them a letter by with Gangsta. It's the same thing, right? Just make sure your father doesn't see because he gets nervous when they are around, but he can't make them go home when their already here," her mum said winking.
"Really? You would let me do that?" Hermione eyed her mother curiously.
"Yes! Oh course I would! Now go write to them!"
"Thanks mum!!" Hermione said, leaning over and giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. She started to had out the barn when that stupid cow looked at her."You gotta problem with me? I got a wand and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Who are you talking to, dear?" Hermione's mother asked, looking up at her where she was starting to milk Cucumber.
"Um...no one mum. See you later!" She called as she raced out of the barn and away from the posessed cow.
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There's chapter one! Hope you like it, and leave a review please!
Sean Biggerstaff is better than Rupert Grint! :P