DISCLAIMER:
Me- Animorphs? Can I own you?
Jake- Um, lets put it to a vote!
Rachel- I'm in! Let's do it!
Marco- WHAT!? Rachel, who knows what Freak Apple will do to you in her fics!
Rachel- Oh yeah, K.A. rescue meeeeeee!!
Cassie- Do I still get to love Jake if you own us?
Me- Um, you don't like Marco?
Cassie- K.A. GET YOUR APPLEGATE ASS OVER HERE!! TAKE US BAACK!
Marco- Hey, I think we should go wit the new girl.
Tobias- Your all nuts. **flies to K.A. and Scholastic**
Ax- I do as Prince Jake says
Jake- **morphs and flies to K.A.** - - once again proving I don't own the Animorphs and they don't want to be owned by me anyway.
----THAT WAS A DISCLAIMER. NOT THE FIC! HEHE, I got a little carried away--- --
NOTE: Who woulda thunk it? Three chapters of a story I wrote just cuz I was high on sugar and stuff. Well, the next chapters may not be as funny as you think the others were, cuz my mom recently cut me off from all sugar and coffee. Something about me being too hyper. Oh well. On with the show! **chews on pencil thinking bout what to write** oh wait, I'm typing this. Hehe **chews on keyboard thinking bout what to write**
Tobias -
Holy crap, that female red tail was HOT! I stopped. Stupid Tobias, what about Rachel? Hey Tobias, hawks have needs to y'know. Tobias, you'd be CHEATING on Rachel! Tobias that red tail is comin on to YOU!
I shook my head. It should be ok, Rachel would never know.
"Hey Tobias!" a voice called my name. Rachel. Goddamn.
Hey Rach. I was so pissed off. Speaking of which, hawks have an exceptional sense of smell, and I smelled something on Rachel.
Rach, did you pee -
"Shut up let's not talk." She said seductively. "Why don't you go human for a while?"
Well, if I wasn't gonna get it from the female hawk - Good idea I morphed my human body. Rachel didn't waste any time she held me and we made out for a while. Suddenly there was a flap of wings. The female hawk!
She landed on a low branch and stared me in the eye. Then it slapped me across the face with it's wing and shrieked.
TSEEEEEEEEEEEERR!
It sounded oddly like she was saying "you BASTARD!". Then it flew away, making sure to leave some - bird product - in Rachel's hair.
"AHH! What the hell was THAT all about?" Rachel yelled, trying to get the crap out of her hair.
"I have no idea." I said with a straight face. Rachel stared.
"Do you KNOW that bird?" she demanded.
"Ummm."
"THAT STUPID BIRD-SLUT GUTTER WHORE!!!!!" she yelled. She began to morph bald eagle. "Tryin to steal my man, that bit-eeeerrf" Her beak protruded.
"Rachel NO!" I yelled.
She stared at me fiercely. Don't you tell me what to do, you man-whore! she roared in my head. Then she flew off in pursuit of the gutter whore. I mean female hawk. (Note: hehe, I like sayin gutter whore).
I quickly morphed, about to chase down Rachel when suddenly the tree transformed into Erek.
What the bloody hell!! I yelled. He scared the bajeezes outta me.
"Um I have more news." He said sheepishly. "Not like before."
Ok. Fine. Me and Rachel will be there.
Erek nodded. Then he put his hologram back up and jogged out of the woods and into the street. I almost laughed my feathered ass off.
Erek had put the wrong hologram up and was now running out of the woods as a busty, curvy blond wearing a G-string and a very small, revealing bra.
"Mommy look it's a gutter whore!" a little girl squealed. Her mother, who was holding her hand looked shocked. Probably both at the practically naked woman running down the street and the fact that her 5 year old daughter said "gutter whore" (Note: I LOVE saying gutter whore!!! Sorry if that's offensive). I looked closer and saw that it was Rachel's sister Sara and her mom. Oh, so THAT's how a 5 year old girl knew the word gutter whore.
My mind snapped back. Rachel! I had to get her! I launched off a branch and headed in the direction Rachel was going. They were gone. I decided to look downwards. There was Rachel! She was in human form and kicking a large boulder.
Rachel? I asked cautiously. When Rachel was mad talking to her was like pulling the trigger on a nuclear bomb.
"Stupid gutter whore got away." She muttered. I noticed she had managed to kick a dent in the boulder. I decided to land on a farther branch.
Rachel, sorry. I said.
She stopped. "It's ok, I guess. Especially after I bailed on you earlier." She grinned.
"But I could have easily kicked that gutter whore's ass!"
Totally. I agreed. Oh yeah, Erek's got more news.
"Like before?"
not like before. then I told her about Erek putting up the wrong hologram and we laughed on the way to Cassie's barn. Rachel was a bald eagle.
I LOVE flying!! she exulted, high on life. She zoomed towards a squirrel about to run along a power line.
BOO! she yelled. The squirrel freaked out and tripped. It landed on the big electrical thing and then -
BZZZZZZZZZT!
The squirrel got fried and fell to the ground, extra crispy-style.
Oops.
Then a familiar boy came out of the woods and examined the fried squirrel. He bent down and sniffed it. He smiled and hid the cooked squirrel in his shirt.
AX! I yelled. He looked startled and dropped the squirrel.
Don't eat squirrels Ax. I told him.
But it smells like food! he whined.
No. I said firmly. He dropped the squirrel. Then he joined us. We flew to Cassie's barn. No sign of Erek yet. I saw Cassie still in the cage. I also saw WAY too much of Jake.
What the hell? I asked. Rachel laughed.
Jake was only in his wet boxers. His outer clothes wear sitting in a wet heap on the floor. Cassie was holding a garden hose.
"Um, this stupid hose is on the fritz." She said, her finger still on the "on" button (Note: do hoses have "on" buttons?)
"Yeah. I need help finding the key." Jake said. "Cassie says its under this table. " He leaned over and searched. I, heterosexual-Tobias, just happened to notice that his boxers clung to his rear end, revealing his 2 cheeks. I looked at Cassie and realized she noticed this too. She noticed the hell out of it.
Jeez Cassie. I said privately. Then Marco strolled in.
"Hey guys, you are gonna LOVE this!" he exclaimed.
Following him was Erek, still a large-breasted woman wearing very little.
"What the - Marco, did you hire us a gutter whore again!?" Cassie asked.
"No. It's Erek. His hologram is broken." He said sheepishly.
The gutter whore nodded. Then Rachel's mom suddenly stormed in. I squawked. Stupid! I wasn't on the lookout! Ax dove into a stall.
"WHO ARE YOU!? HOW DARE YOU WALK OUT IN PUBLIC DRESSED LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!" she screamed.
"Mom?" Rachel said, surprised.
"RACHEL!!! IS THIS GUTTER WHORE A FRIEND OF YOURS!!?? AND WHERE DO YOU THINK SARA LEARNED THE WORD GUTTER WHORE!!??" she screamed some more.
"It wasn't ME mo-" Rachel's mom grabbed her ear.
"IF YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT GROUNDED, THINK AGAIN MISSY!! IF YOU EVER TEACH YOUR SISTER WORDS LIKE THAT AGAIN - " she twisted Rachel's ear and dragged her out of the barn.
We were silent. Ax peeked out from the stall.
That was frightening. Is Rachel's mother suffering from PMS?" he wondered.
Ahhhhh, ok I had writer's block. This is the best I could do with writer's block. Review your heart out, readers! I need sugar. SUGAR PLEEEEAAAASSEE!!!!! Agghhhh, my mom says no. She is such a gutter whore. I CANT WRITE WITHOUT SUGAR!! Oh and if you read my other fic "the something" well I didn't abandon it. I just got writers block and this was supposed to help. It didn't, so I just gotta wait a while. Maybe another chapter of this will do the trick? Whaddya think?
Me- Animorphs? Can I own you?
Jake- Um, lets put it to a vote!
Rachel- I'm in! Let's do it!
Marco- WHAT!? Rachel, who knows what Freak Apple will do to you in her fics!
Rachel- Oh yeah, K.A. rescue meeeeeee!!
Cassie- Do I still get to love Jake if you own us?
Me- Um, you don't like Marco?
Cassie- K.A. GET YOUR APPLEGATE ASS OVER HERE!! TAKE US BAACK!
Marco- Hey, I think we should go wit the new girl.
Tobias- Your all nuts. **flies to K.A. and Scholastic**
Ax- I do as Prince Jake says
Jake- **morphs and flies to K.A.** - - once again proving I don't own the Animorphs and they don't want to be owned by me anyway.
----THAT WAS A DISCLAIMER. NOT THE FIC! HEHE, I got a little carried away--- --
NOTE: Who woulda thunk it? Three chapters of a story I wrote just cuz I was high on sugar and stuff. Well, the next chapters may not be as funny as you think the others were, cuz my mom recently cut me off from all sugar and coffee. Something about me being too hyper. Oh well. On with the show! **chews on pencil thinking bout what to write** oh wait, I'm typing this. Hehe **chews on keyboard thinking bout what to write**
Tobias -
Holy crap, that female red tail was HOT! I stopped. Stupid Tobias, what about Rachel? Hey Tobias, hawks have needs to y'know. Tobias, you'd be CHEATING on Rachel! Tobias that red tail is comin on to YOU!
I shook my head. It should be ok, Rachel would never know.
"Hey Tobias!" a voice called my name. Rachel. Goddamn.
Hey Rach. I was so pissed off. Speaking of which, hawks have an exceptional sense of smell, and I smelled something on Rachel.
Rach, did you pee -
"Shut up let's not talk." She said seductively. "Why don't you go human for a while?"
Well, if I wasn't gonna get it from the female hawk - Good idea I morphed my human body. Rachel didn't waste any time she held me and we made out for a while. Suddenly there was a flap of wings. The female hawk!
She landed on a low branch and stared me in the eye. Then it slapped me across the face with it's wing and shrieked.
TSEEEEEEEEEEEERR!
It sounded oddly like she was saying "you BASTARD!". Then it flew away, making sure to leave some - bird product - in Rachel's hair.
"AHH! What the hell was THAT all about?" Rachel yelled, trying to get the crap out of her hair.
"I have no idea." I said with a straight face. Rachel stared.
"Do you KNOW that bird?" she demanded.
"Ummm."
"THAT STUPID BIRD-SLUT GUTTER WHORE!!!!!" she yelled. She began to morph bald eagle. "Tryin to steal my man, that bit-eeeerrf" Her beak protruded.
"Rachel NO!" I yelled.
She stared at me fiercely. Don't you tell me what to do, you man-whore! she roared in my head. Then she flew off in pursuit of the gutter whore. I mean female hawk. (Note: hehe, I like sayin gutter whore).
I quickly morphed, about to chase down Rachel when suddenly the tree transformed into Erek.
What the bloody hell!! I yelled. He scared the bajeezes outta me.
"Um I have more news." He said sheepishly. "Not like before."
Ok. Fine. Me and Rachel will be there.
Erek nodded. Then he put his hologram back up and jogged out of the woods and into the street. I almost laughed my feathered ass off.
Erek had put the wrong hologram up and was now running out of the woods as a busty, curvy blond wearing a G-string and a very small, revealing bra.
"Mommy look it's a gutter whore!" a little girl squealed. Her mother, who was holding her hand looked shocked. Probably both at the practically naked woman running down the street and the fact that her 5 year old daughter said "gutter whore" (Note: I LOVE saying gutter whore!!! Sorry if that's offensive). I looked closer and saw that it was Rachel's sister Sara and her mom. Oh, so THAT's how a 5 year old girl knew the word gutter whore.
My mind snapped back. Rachel! I had to get her! I launched off a branch and headed in the direction Rachel was going. They were gone. I decided to look downwards. There was Rachel! She was in human form and kicking a large boulder.
Rachel? I asked cautiously. When Rachel was mad talking to her was like pulling the trigger on a nuclear bomb.
"Stupid gutter whore got away." She muttered. I noticed she had managed to kick a dent in the boulder. I decided to land on a farther branch.
Rachel, sorry. I said.
She stopped. "It's ok, I guess. Especially after I bailed on you earlier." She grinned.
"But I could have easily kicked that gutter whore's ass!"
Totally. I agreed. Oh yeah, Erek's got more news.
"Like before?"
not like before. then I told her about Erek putting up the wrong hologram and we laughed on the way to Cassie's barn. Rachel was a bald eagle.
I LOVE flying!! she exulted, high on life. She zoomed towards a squirrel about to run along a power line.
BOO! she yelled. The squirrel freaked out and tripped. It landed on the big electrical thing and then -
BZZZZZZZZZT!
The squirrel got fried and fell to the ground, extra crispy-style.
Oops.
Then a familiar boy came out of the woods and examined the fried squirrel. He bent down and sniffed it. He smiled and hid the cooked squirrel in his shirt.
AX! I yelled. He looked startled and dropped the squirrel.
Don't eat squirrels Ax. I told him.
But it smells like food! he whined.
No. I said firmly. He dropped the squirrel. Then he joined us. We flew to Cassie's barn. No sign of Erek yet. I saw Cassie still in the cage. I also saw WAY too much of Jake.
What the hell? I asked. Rachel laughed.
Jake was only in his wet boxers. His outer clothes wear sitting in a wet heap on the floor. Cassie was holding a garden hose.
"Um, this stupid hose is on the fritz." She said, her finger still on the "on" button (Note: do hoses have "on" buttons?)
"Yeah. I need help finding the key." Jake said. "Cassie says its under this table. " He leaned over and searched. I, heterosexual-Tobias, just happened to notice that his boxers clung to his rear end, revealing his 2 cheeks. I looked at Cassie and realized she noticed this too. She noticed the hell out of it.
Jeez Cassie. I said privately. Then Marco strolled in.
"Hey guys, you are gonna LOVE this!" he exclaimed.
Following him was Erek, still a large-breasted woman wearing very little.
"What the - Marco, did you hire us a gutter whore again!?" Cassie asked.
"No. It's Erek. His hologram is broken." He said sheepishly.
The gutter whore nodded. Then Rachel's mom suddenly stormed in. I squawked. Stupid! I wasn't on the lookout! Ax dove into a stall.
"WHO ARE YOU!? HOW DARE YOU WALK OUT IN PUBLIC DRESSED LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!" she screamed.
"Mom?" Rachel said, surprised.
"RACHEL!!! IS THIS GUTTER WHORE A FRIEND OF YOURS!!?? AND WHERE DO YOU THINK SARA LEARNED THE WORD GUTTER WHORE!!??" she screamed some more.
"It wasn't ME mo-" Rachel's mom grabbed her ear.
"IF YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT GROUNDED, THINK AGAIN MISSY!! IF YOU EVER TEACH YOUR SISTER WORDS LIKE THAT AGAIN - " she twisted Rachel's ear and dragged her out of the barn.
We were silent. Ax peeked out from the stall.
That was frightening. Is Rachel's mother suffering from PMS?" he wondered.
Ahhhhh, ok I had writer's block. This is the best I could do with writer's block. Review your heart out, readers! I need sugar. SUGAR PLEEEEAAAASSEE!!!!! Agghhhh, my mom says no. She is such a gutter whore. I CANT WRITE WITHOUT SUGAR!! Oh and if you read my other fic "the something" well I didn't abandon it. I just got writers block and this was supposed to help. It didn't, so I just gotta wait a while. Maybe another chapter of this will do the trick? Whaddya think?