In Good Company.
Author Chick's Notes: Just picking up where the beach one ended…there is booze involved after all. ^^ Eh, I am predominantly Eastern European heritage wise, and I have seen this for myself more then a few times at family gatherings. =p This gets kind of crude in places so I'll rate it R just to be safe.
In Good Company.
The following morning, Torpedo awoke with a pounding headache and an upset stomach. He looked around and saw bodies scattered around the campsite and figured he wasn't the only one not feeling well that morning. He heard snoring from somewhere behind him and tilted his head back in the sand. Leaning against one of the trees was the largest of the October Guard, Horror Show an empty bottle lay next to the bear of a man.
Gingerly getting up, Torpedo carefully made his way to the SHARC to retrieve a pair of sunglasses and some aspirin. Washing several pills down with water he ambled towards the lagoon for a swim. There was no way he was going to do his usual morning run with the way he was feeling. He ended up on his back just floating lazily in the water instead and letting the water cradle his body.
Back at camp, Diana was the next to wake up. Rolling out of her hammock, she assessed the situation and went to work. Cranking up the fire, she started to make breakfast for the others. She had been the last to go to sleep the previous night and wasn't at all surprised that she had beaten most of them to waking up that morning. They were definitely going to be taking their time getting ready to depart later.
"Aloha." Diana heard from somewhere behind her. She turned to see Torpedo heading towards her and smirked.
"You don't look so good." She teased as Torpedo wrapped a towel around his waist and flopped down nearby.
"I feel like hell." He muttered. The SEAL noticed that she wasn't the slightest bit hung over from the previous night's drinking. He envied her. "Mahalo." He thanked Diana when she handed him a cup of coffee.
Thinking back to the previous night, Diana spoke up again. "Your language is very beautiful to listen too, by the way." She complimented. "It's very flowing and musical."
Torpedo winced. He knew what she was talking about and now had a very good idea of just how drunk he had gotten. It was well known among the Joes that when Torpedo got very drunk he usually stopped speaking English altogether. It was how Deep Six had managed to learn as much of the native Hawai'ian language as he had, and the diver only knew a few dozen words at best.
Around noon the rest of them had risen and began getting ready to depart. Deep Six and Torpedo would be heading to the capitol of Palau to meet up with Wild Bill, then head back to Joe headquarters. The October Guard would board their submarine and take off for their next assignment. As they were parting ways, Lt. Gorky made a gift of vodka to Deep Six. Deep Six thanked his Russian counterpart and soon the two groups went their separate ways. Thankfully, Deep Six wasn't in nearly as bad a shape as Torpedo and managed to take off and head west for Palau.
An hour later, at a runway in Koror, Deep Six landed the SHARC next to a large cargo plane with the GI Joe emblem on it. Wild Bill had made a trip to Japan to pick up Lift Ticket, who'd been assigned there temporarily and had just beaten the two divers back to the Palaun capitol. The two pilots took one look at each other before looking back at the SHARC. They didn't miss the fact that their teammates were both wearing dark sunglasses and moving rather slowly.
"What the hell happened to y'all?" Lift Ticket asked.
"Da October Guard wen happen to us." Torpedo muttered, getting his duffle bag out of one of the storage compartments of the SHARC.
"Correction…the booze stash of the October Guard happened to us." Deep Six added. He retrieved his own bag and something else that Torpedo had forgotten. "Hey Kid? It's snowing back home, remember?" He said, tossing Torpedo's heavy winter coat to him.
Torpedo groaned as the coat landed on his head and went inside the plane. Deep Six laughed and followed suit. Torpedo crawled into one of the cargo nets set up in the plane and was soon fast asleep. Deep Six got comfortable in a cargo net opposite of Torpedo and shut his eyes. Lift Ticket came in and looked at the two.
"The October Guard? I thought y'all was supposed to deal with COBRA, not them?" He asked Deep Six.
Deep Six cracked an eye open. "They had the same orders as us. Take out a COBRA base. We joined forces, took out the base, and got rip snorting drunk. I'll tell you the whole story when we get home." Deep Six muttered before falling asleep.
Lift Ticket went to the cockpit of the plane to start warming it up for its journey home. Wild Bill meanwhile got the SHARC loaded and soon they were airborne. With roughly three hours left of their trip, Deep Six woke up to approaching night outside of the plane. He looked over to where Torpedo was still curled up asleep. Deep Six's hangover was gone and he went over to Torpedo to drape a blanket over his teammate. It was starting to get noticeably cooler inside the plane and Torpedo was beginning to shiver in his sleep.
Satisfied that the SEAL wouldn't get to cold, Deep Six went towards the cockpit to find how much longer they'd be in the sky. Wild Bill was leaning back in his seat sleeping, leaving Lift Ticket at the helm. Lift Ticket looked up as Deep Six announced himself and filled the diver in on their current position. "Yer pard there ain't moved by the way. I think he's dead." Lift Ticket dead panned.
Deep Six snorted a laugh and assured the pilot that Torpedo did indeed have a pulse and was still among the living. Pilot and diver talked a little more when Deep Six heard a clunking sound from the roof of the plane. "What the hell?"
"Flying gas station." Lift Ticket answered, pointing towards the top of the cockpit. "Hey thanks y'all." He responded to the incoming call from the plane flying right above the cargo jet.
"Any time Mack." Came the answer and Deep Six saw the lights from the plane as it banked away from the Joes.
"Hn." Deep Six muttered. "Hey? What's our ETA?" He asked after a moment.
Wild Bill had been woken by the sound of the disconnecting fuel hose and replied. "We'll be home just in time fer chow."
"Actually, we'll home just in time for Lifeline to be passing out the antacids." Lift Ticket joked.
At the mention of food, Deep Six turned his gaze back to towards the cargo area of the plane. "You didn't mess with the ice chest in the SHARC did you?" He asked.
"Didn't touch a thing." Wild Bill answered. "…why? What y'all smuggling?" He asked jokingly.
Deep Six smirked and held his index fingers about seven inches apart. "Tiger prawns." The three men jumped a bit when they heard Torpedo behind them.
"How many you wen get, hoale?" Torpedo asked groggily. He had the blanket wrapped around his shoulders and was rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"Nice to see yer alive." Wild Bill teased the SEAL. Torpedo gave him the finger and waited for Deep Six to answer his question.
"The ice chest is loaded, Kid." Deep Six replied. This got appreciative whistles from the two pilots.
"I take it y'all plan on sharing right?" Deep Six assured them that he'd share his catch. Adding that Roadblock would be the only person he'd allow to prepare them.
Torpedo shook his head and flopped down in a seat behind Lift Ticket. They were soon landing at Headquarters. A light snow was falling outside the plane and Torpedo scowled. "I hate da snow." He muttered as he went towards the cargo area to get dressed for the conditions outside. Deep Six followed and helped unload the SHARC.
In the lounge area of the men's dormitory, their comrades greeted the four. Hawk scheduled debriefing sessions for the following morning and Torpedo excused himself to go take a hot shower. Deep Six handed over the ice chest to Roadblock, telling him what it contained and that he expected a grand feed of the shellfish within the next few days. Roadblock took off for the kitchen, saying that the diver would be having his grand feed in about half an hour.
Deep Six took off for a quick shower. When he came back he could hear Lift Ticket telling the various men in the room about the condition the two divers had been in when they'd met up in Koror.
"Yins were shit faced?" Steeler asked incredulously.
"Very." Torpedo responded as he too entered the room. His shower had greatly reinvigorated him and he was far more human feeling then he had been on the flight back. Steeler commented about the two piloting the SHARC in such a condition when Short Fuze interrupted him.
"'Scuse me? I've seen the hooch you bunch have up there in that hole of yers!" He bellowed, pointing in the general direction of the motor pool. "I know damn well ya's go driving around in tanks, half lit!" He added.
Steeler held up his hands in surrender and chuckled. "Okay I give, ya win.
"Yeah I thought so." Short Fuze snorted.
"Shut up." Steeler told him. The two glared at each other for a few seconds before returning to the conversation at hand.
Lift Ticket reminded Deep Six that the diver had promised to tell the whole story of their mission when they had returned to base. "And we're home, so spill!" Lift Ticket laughed, taking a seat on the couch.
"Spill what?" Sci-Fi asked as he entered the lounge. Deep Six and Torpedo saw the laser trooper had a split lip and asked what had happened. "Scarlet happened." Sci-Fi replied. Rubbing at his sore chin.
Frostbite interrupted. "Remember them weird snowmen?" He asked, jerking a thumb at Sci-Fi.
Torpedo looked at Sci-Fi in awe. "You wen make those?"
"Supposedly. I don't remember doing it." Sci-Fi answered. "Anyway I guess Scarlet doesn't appreciate 'fine art' and eh she made me pay for it." He winced.
Deep Six and Torpedo laughed. "What happened afterwards? She make you destroy them?" Deep Six asked, recalling he hadn't seen them when they got back.
"Nay. She swiped me flamethrower an' melted the bloody things!" Blowtorch explained. "And before I could get a picture too." Steeler snapped his fingers in the air to get everyone's attention.
"'K enough of the crap." He started. "October Guard, yins drunk, I want details." Steeler exclaimed. The two divers looked at each other for a second before Torpedo started laughing. Deep Six started the story.
"We were at this atoll about a hundred miles out of the capitol. We're in the middle of friggin no where." Deep Six went on to explain that they had set up camp and figured out their strategy for the following morning.
"…Dat's where da Guard comes in." Torpedo interrupted. "We on da beach changing into our gear right? Well dey was parked about a mile from shore watching."
"And Diana got one hell of a show apparently." Deep Six smirked.
Torpedo explained that he had to change out of his baggy swim trunks into a skin-tight pair before getting into his wetsuit. "So she wen see da whole package!" Torpedo explained.
"Oh that sucks." Thunder laughed.
"It would have if she hadn't returned the favour later." Deep Six winked. Most of the men in the room gawked at the two divers. Torpedo waved his hands in the air as he told them to just wait and hear the rest of the story.
"Trust me! It gets better!" He grinned.
"Anyway. Gorky gets on the horn to let us know that they're there." Deep Six continued. "And that Diana now has a damn good idea of how well they're grown in Hawaii." He added, jerking a thumb at Torpedo who was laughing.
Roadblock came out just then with a huge platter full of prawns that he had prepared in various ways. "Real food, enjoy." He stated as he placed the platter on a table in the middle of the room. Several of the Joes dug in while Roadblock handed a smaller plate of prawns to Deep Six, and a bottle. "This was in the with the prawns." He smirked.
"That's where I put it." The diver grinned. He slipped the bottle between himself and the arm of the chair he was in. Between bites of dinner he went on telling the story. "So we join up, find the base and blow it to hell." Deep Six continued. "That's when the fun starts." He smirked.
Torpedo took over while Deep Six ate. "We're back at our camp site, all of us when dey start telling us about some story about Brekhov and a nude beach." Torpedo told them the story the Guard had told the two Joes. They all laughed at the embarrassing situation the Russian colonel had gotten himself into. "Dat's when Diana wen go for a swim."
The look on the SEAL's face told the others that they were in for a good one. "She goes down by da water and starts stripping…it ALL came off!" He stated. Deep Six chuckled at the various wolf whistles and catcalls as Torpedo continued. "And she well groomed too." He held two fingers up to give the men an idea of what he was talking about. " And a natural blonde!"
"Oh no way! She has a runway?" Sci-Fi asked. Torpedo affirmed what Sci-Fi had asked, much to the pleasure of the gathered men.
"Next time yins are sent to some tropical paradise…" Steeler started. "…I say we drop a line to the Guard and meet them there in force!" He laughed. Several of the others gathered in the lounge agreed.
"While Diana is skinny dipping, the rest of them break out the booze." Deep Six continued after a moment. "They had all sorts of stuff, from Cuban rum to real vodka." He stated, pointing to the bottle cradled next to him. Torpedo groaned when he realized what the gift Gorky had given them was. Steeler asked to see the bottle and read the label as Deep Six went on about the group's exploits that night.
"Torpedo and Diana were making pina coladas with the rum while I'm drinking some French stuff with Gorky. The rest of them were downing that stuff." He said, pointing to the bottle Steeler was reading. "I can speak Russian, I can't read it so I don't know where it's from." Deep Six added.
"Odessa, in the Ukraine." Steeler said as he studied the bottle before looking at the two divers. "I've had this stuff before. It's good shit…knocks you on yer ass in no time flat, but good all the same." He said, handing the bottle back to Deep Six.
"Yeah it knocks you down alright." Torpedo groaned.
Deep Six laughed out loud and pointed at the SEAL. "He had one glass of it, started with the 'Mele o Hawaii' and passed out cold ten minutes later!" The others knew what Deep Six had meant about 'Mele o Hawaii' and laughed.
"Hey!" Torpedo defended himself. "I was already on da second bottle of rum wit Diana, dat wen do me in."
"Oh I believe ya." Steeler sympathised. "I can usually survive about six belts of this stuff before I'm out for the count."
Deep Six jerked a thumb at Torpedo before continuing. "He's not the only one who forgets English when he's drunk. A couple of the Guard had lapsed into Russian so we spent the rest of the night yacking away in that." Deep Six said.
"Dat's why I kept dreaming I was in da middle of Red Square den?" Torpedo frowned. "I thought it was dere accents."
"Nope." Deep Six confirmed. "Don't feel to bad though. Horror Show went night-night about half an hour after you did."
"Wow? He went under early?" Frostbite asked. "Last time I drank with him, I was gone first."
"You ever drank with Diana?" Deep Six asked.
"No."
"She can drink you and everyone else under the table and she'd only be getting started." Deep Six said.
Short Fuze held his hand up at about Diana's height. "That little thing?" He asked incredulously. Deep Six just nodded his head. "Jesus!"
"Gorky and I had survived most of them, except her. By the time we called it a night she was just warming up." Deep Six explained. "And she was matching drink for drink." Several of them gawked at the diver's statement.
Sci-Fi raised his gaze towards the ceiling. "A woman after my own heart!" He joked.
Thunder glanced at Steeler and laughed. Knowing his commanding officer's ethnic background, he couldn't resist. "Y'all is a poor excuse for an Eastern European." He teased.
"No shit. Jesus and I thought I was a booze hound." Steeler exclaimed.
Deep Six narrowed his eyes at Steeler before speaking again. "You're a non starter compared to Diana then. About the last coherent thing Gorky got out before he started snoring, was that she drank a whole platoon of the Red Army under once."
"And she wasn't hung over either." Torpedo added. "She was da only one who wen wake up all bright eyed da next day. Da rest of us was hurtin."
"Holy shit. Remind me to never get into a drinking contest with her." Steeler muttered.
"She'd hand your ass back to you in pieces." Deep Six offered.
They spent the rest of the evening talking and joking. Deep Six was still wide-awake after his long nap on the plane, so he stayed up with some of the night owls. Sci-Fi eyed the vodka bottle and asked if he could try some. Someone got some glasses as Deep Six shared the vodka. After a few drinks it became apparent that the Joes might just have someone who could match Diana and her legendary drinking skills.
Four of them had started, one was left to place blankets on the bodies that were draped over various pieces of furniture. Steeler was snoring on the floor, Sci-Fi had claimed one of the couches as his bed for the night and Deep Six was sprawled in the chair he'd occupied for the evening. Picking up the now empty vodka bottle and putting it away. Blowtorch looked at the room as he turned out the light. "Cheap dates the lot of ya." He chuckled in the darkness.
The End.