Just Another Monday

by Cerasi J

Zekk faces his inner demons and tells Jaina how he really feels. But is it already too late?

3. Love Me Back to Life

Title: Love Me Back to Life

Chapter: 3/3 (Just Another Monday)

Author: Cerasi J.

Rating: PG-13

Website: http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/fanfictiononline

Category: Zekk/Jaina romance, angst, drama, song fic

Archive: FanFiction.Net, FanFiction Online.  If you want it, drop me a line and let me know!

Feedback: Please! I'm addicted to it! CerasiJ@for-president.com

Summary: Zekk faces his inner demons and tells Jaina how he really feels. But is it already too late?

Disclaimer: Don't own J/Z, or anything from Star Wars, George Lucas is the man.

Author's Note: Just to let everyone know, the song "Everything" belongs to Stereo Fuse.

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           I remember you, do you remember me too?

          Less than an hour ago, Jaina had flat lined. The life that was always so vibrant within her was dampened and put out for a moment.  But the doctors yanked her back to the living with the thin lifeline she still possessed.  She was whisked into the Bacta treatment immediately, but now it looked like even that couldn't save her.  It was over for Jaina Solo.  Zekk had left the hospital, searching for peace, but finding none.  The journal Jaina once owned still burned a hole is his jacket pocket.  And then he had started to run.  He ran as far and as fast as he could, but he still couldn't outrun the demons that hunted him.

          Born on the 14th of July, the smell of roses made her cry

          He finally stopped.  Where was he? He had been looking, but not really seeing.  The lower levels, he realized with some detachment, like it was someone else thinking and not him.  How did he get here?  He wandered the halls; the smell of rotting flesh and mildew assaulted his senses.  He trailed his fingers along the coolness of the brick wall, which was decorated with graffiti. His thoughts strayed and returned to the motionless young woman who would never know how much he cared. Was she dead? Did they revive her? He wanted to know, but he couldn't go back. He didn't belong there.

And though you're gone, we ain't far from home

          Zekk stopped at what at one time was probably a grand balcony; he stared out at the seemingly endless precipice and the bottomless world below it.  Something needed to be changed. But it's already changing, the world is changed.  Something had to be done.  He had to tell her, he just had to.  He loved Jaina.  Yes! There! He'd said it! He loved Jaina, it didn't matter whether or not she returned that feeling, he loved her and no one else.  Why did it take him so long to realize that?  Why did it have to be realized now? When it might be too late? So many whys and not enough answers.

Rest assured you're not alone

          He had to tell her. He just had to.  But, Jaina was dying… the only way to tell her would be to… it didn't matter.  It had to be done! He was running out of time, and there was only one way to get her back.  He turned, walking away from the balcony that overlooked the grand buildings of the past.  He removed the pocketknife from his belt, reached behind his head and severed the symbol of his boyhood.  He replaced the knife in its sheath and shook his head, running his shaking fingers through the shortened ebony strands.  He gave a mirthless chuckle, "I always told myself I'd cut my hair."  He turned on his heel and started back toward the upper levels.  His spirit was lighter; it seemed to be healing with his realization.  

          'Cause I would give everything that I own

          He needed to feel the sunlight on his face again; he needed to breathe the fresh air that was only available several layers above.  He made his way to the turbolift, surprised to find that it still was functional after all these years.  The ride back to the top took fifteen minutes, now that he was paying attention.  Inside he was torn, what if it was too late? What if Jaina had already let go? He would have missed his chance.  He shook his head, no, there was no time for 'what-ifs' there was only time for now, and now was his chance. His chance to redeem himself and make things right between him and Jaina. 

          I'd give you my heart and this skin and these bones

          At last, he was at the top.  His stride was proud, meaningful and quick, his head was held high, his shoulders square, he was a man with a mission. It was time to make things right again.  He slipped his hand into his jacket pocket, his fingers brushing against the leather bound journal, when she was awake, he'd give it back.  His heart was singing, full of hope.  Only the smallest shred of doubt burrowed its way into the back of his mind.  Jaina couldn't be dead, he would feel it if she was.  He quickened his stride to a sprint, and then a full-blown run.

          The sun and moon, the other sky

          He slowed his pace when he arrived at the dreaded building.  Hospitals were like prisons, you always go in, but sometimes you never come out.  He stood at the entrance, watching the glass double doors. The doctor's words echoed in his ears, "Only family will be allowed to see her at this time." He knew he couldn't see Jaina, the doctors just wouldn't let him, there had to be someway to get in there! Two doctors walked past him, chatting happily to each other.  His keen jade eyes drifted to the badges they wore, that could get past any barrier.  Perfect.  

Never even stopped to wonder why

          He followed them inside, his hands shoved in his pockets as he went.  They never noticed him.  He followed them to a locker room used by the staff, one man, who finally noticed Zekk was behind him, smiled and held the door for him.  "You the new guy?" The doctor asked.  Zekk's thoughts scrambled to right themselves, "Uh, yeah, Internship."  He smiled.  The doctor nodded and rolled his eyes, "Worst five years of my life. Welcome aboard."  Zekk shook his hand, thanked him and wandered into a different part of the locker room.  The lockers were arranged in alphabetical order.  He looked for Dr. Adam Tri's locker, who was now off duty. 

I would do anything

          Soon, the murmuring voices of the doctors faded and Zekk was alone in a restricted area.  He pulled out his pocketknife once again and set to work on Dr. Adam Tri's locker.  His mission was successful, the locker door swung open without incident.  He smiled to himself and reached inside.  Several minutes later Zekk immerged from the locker room, dressed in scrubs. He was wearing Dr. Tri's pass card around his neck.  He kept his head down and walked briskly down the hall, his footfalls echoing on the sterile white washed walls. 

I would give everything

          He found himself in a seemingly endless maze of catacombs and corridors, he was lost.  And he was running out of time.  He walked past a computer kiosk and paused.  He sat down, looking both ways to make sure the hallway was clear.  He squinted at the computer screen and typed in "Solo, Jaina". 

          "Access denied," the computer quipped.  He looked down at the pass card he wore and scanned the bar code into the reader at the top of the computer screen.  Suddenly, the screen changed, and a progress report for Jaina was on the screen.  In green letters it flashed at him, Bacta treatment, time remaining: one hour, twenty-seven minutes.

          To be your everything

          She had survived! The hospitals wouldn't waste Bacta on a person who was dead.  It was a healing aid, not a wonder drug.  Happiness flowed through his veins, and a smile graced his lips.  Now, he just had to get to her.  He brought up a map of where the Bacta tanks were held and mapped his way from the kiosk to the tanks.  He burned it into his memory, shut the program out and started on his journey.  It took a few minutes, but he finally grasped the lay out of the hospital.  He hurried past the waiting room where he had been only a little while ago.  Leia was gone; no one was in the room.  Zekk prayed she wasn't in the Bacta room, he needed to be alone with Jaina.

It seems like such a long, long time

          By the time he reached the Bacta room, his heart was pounding, his knees were weak, his stomach was churning and sweat dotted his forehead.  With a shaking hand he reached for the pass card hanging around his neck.  He held it to the reader on the outside of the door.  The light changed to green and the audible click of the locks being undone could be heard.  Zekk entered, his pulse racing.  The room was dark.  There was the resounding hiss of the respirator.  Each tank had a light, so it could light up the person inside.  Zekk's breath rasped in his ears, he inched into the room.  The door closed behind him.

Since your body crossed my mind

Dread and fear had replaced the wonderful feelings that had been dancing inside of him before. His happiness flittered away and doubt was all that was left.  He peeked around the corner; the first tank was empty.  He let his breath out.  He walked further into the room; the second tank was also empty.  His eyes got ahead of his body, and sought out the one person he was looking for.  There.  In the very last tank on the far end of the wall.  Jaina.

But I think that you should you know

          Zekk sucked in his breath and rushed forward, he hardly recognized the woman suspended inside the tank.  Her face was slashed and bruised, there was a regenerator clasped on her left arm and one on her right ankle.  But… she was beautiful.  The most beautiful, radiant creature he'd ever seen.  Something moved in the corner of his eye, he spun around and was face to face with the medical droid.

It wasn't I who had to go

          He sighed, "Uh, five minutes?"  The droid didn't reply, so Zekk chose to ignore it.  So, now, here he was. What to say?  "How do I say this?" Zekk wondered out loud to an unconscious Jaina Solo. "How do you pour out your entire soul with only a few words?" He rested his forehead on the Bacta tank and sighed again, thankful for the coolness of the healing liquid.  He prayed that no one would catch him here, seeing as how this was a restricted area of the hospital.  He watched the lifeless form float in the tank.  Her gorgeous brandy-brown eyes that had held so much passion were closed; her long brown hair must have been cut just before her accident, because now it was much shorter and flowed freely around her pale face.

'Cause I would give everything that I own

          It was now or never.  He had to do this, not for himself, but for Jaina.  He placed his palms flat on the glass and drew in a cleansing breath.  He let it out slowly, and did something he hadn't done in almost five years.  He opened his mind to the Force.  He let it flow through him, soak his mind and spirit with its golden rays.  He opened his eyes; they focused on the girl in the tank.  In his mind, he saw himself, reaching out his hand to Jaina, he touched her shoulder. Jaina?

I'd give you my love and this heart made of stone

          Nothing happened.  She didn't stir, in his mind or in the tank.  He tried again; in his mind's eye he placed his hand on her shoulder, instead of just tapping her.  Jaina, honey, please… give me a sign, show me you're still here with me, please.  He felt something.  Just the tiniest twitch, but it was still there.  He knew she could hear him, somewhere deep within her injured brain, Jaina was fighting.  Jaina, please, come back to the light, we love you, we need you… I need you.

The sun and moon, the other sky

          Still nothing, but he wasn't about to give up.  He felt the healing powers of the Force flowing through him, cleansing him.  He reached out to Jaina once again, this time, turning her around to face him in his mind.  Her eyes were closed; her now closely cropped hair brushed against her delicate jaw as she turned her head.  Her chin sank toward the middle of her chest, like she was sleeping.  She wore a plain white tank top and cargo pants, her feet were bare.  It was almost like a dream.  Jaina, listen to me! I need you! Please! Come back to us, come back to the living. Don't stop fighting.

Motorcycle that I like to ride

          He must have been dreaming, he had to be; he couldn't believe it.  He heard it, her voice, as frail and fine as an Orchid, barely a whisper, but it was there.  You don't need anyone.  Tears sprung to his eyes, she was alive, she was fighting! Jaina?  Her voice came again, a little louder this time, like a child mumbling in her sleep.  What?

I would do anything

          Zekk's eyes flew open and latched onto the person inside the tank, her eyelids were fluttering, then they shut and she drifted back into a form of sleep.  Jaina, dammit, you've fought so hard, don't you leave me now, Jaina Solo, do you understand me? Don't you leave me! 

          -So tired, Zekk… let me sleep.

          -WAKE UP! Do NOT go to sleep, Jaina, I'm begging you. I need you, I need you here with me, I have something I want to give you.

          -…What?

I would give everything

          -Your journal, Jaina, I have your journal.  I want to give it back to you, wake up.  Inside the tank, Jaina's head slumped toward her chest.  So tired… let me sleep.

          -No, Jaina, I have something to tell you.

          -Tell me when I wake up…­ In his mind, Jaina laid down on a non-existent floor, her eyes remained closed, her voice was still precarious, she was slipping fast, he was losing her, losing his only chance to be with her again.

To be your everything

          I love you.  Time seemed to stop; the woman in his hands stirred and shook her head, her blunt hair sticking to her moist lips.  The woman in the tank, however, only twitched her fingers.  What?

          I love you, Jaina, come back to me.  I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I just want you back.  In his brain, he could see her.  She opened her eyes, the liquid brown shimmering and shining once again.  Inside the tank, Jaina blinked and pressed her hand to the glass, as if she could touch Zekk through the barrier that separated them.

I remember you, do you remember me too?

          Do you mean it?  Inside the tank, her eyes were alive and awake, boring into his like a high-powered laser.  "With all my heart," he said aloud.  He placed one hand over his heart and didn't try to stop the tear that skidded down his cheek.

It seems like such a long, long time

          Jaina cocked her head to the side, her short hair swooshing all around her; she could obviously hear him. Why are you crying?  He smiled and inched closer to the tank, "Because I love you."

Since I held you near and called you mine

          Don't cry, silly.  She made a motion inside the tank like she was trying to wipe his tears away.  I love you, too, Zekk.  Thank you.  Thank you for not giving up on me.

          "I should be the one thanking you for that," Zekk whispered, his voice tight with emotion. 

          'Cause I would give everything that I own

He spread his fingers out on the glass and Jaina matched his hand motions.  When did you get your haircut?  He watched her closely, and she smiled at him behind the breathing tube taped to her mouth.  He smiled back, all his fear and doubt drained away, leaving him feeling emotionally high, "Today," he replied.

I'd give you my heart, and this skin and these bones

          Hey, what is today, anyway? She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.  Zekk couldn't help but think how cute she looked like that. 

I would do anything

I would give everything

To be your everything

          Zekk laughed and rested his forehead on the glass.  Jaina repeated that motion as well, "Just another Monday," he said.

          The End.