A/N- sorry for the delay people! I lost all my work on all my fics when my
computer crashed THREE TIMES within a span of 4 weeks and I lost the will
to keep writing at the same time. But, after much talking to Star/Firefly
(or whatever she's goin' by today *winks*), Kat and Mrs O-Town, I have
forced myself to get this out to you guys. Although I need you to
understand that I hate this chapter with a passion 'cos I had it written
EXACTLY the way I imagined it, it was utterly perfect (as in exactly what I
wanted in my mind, not actually perfect writing), and then my comp
swallowed it whole. That was the third time I'd written the damn thing.
Star and Mrs O-Town gave me the tiny bits that I had sent them (prior to
going back and editing it twice) and that's what you're getting. With a
rushed, poorly written, incredibly lame ending. You're *not* getting the
scenes that I spent hours on hours sweating over 'cos they don't exist
anymore. So, what *was* a 20 page chapter is now a 6/7 page chapter. To the
rest of my reviewers, thanks for sticking with me and I'm sorry this
chapter is short and crappy. You deserve much better, but sadly I'm *this*
close to just throwing in the towel. I look forward to hearing/reading your
feedback and suggestions. Now more than ever, actually. So, PLEASE read
*and* review. Thanks.
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"Oh-kay then!" I say, trying to break up the latest argument that has broken out between Kas, Wes and Lilah. They all pause to look at me. I fold my arms over my chest and frown, much like a disapproving mother to her quarrelling children. "Would you guys *please* shut up and sit down for 5 minutes?"
"But-" Kas begins. I hold up my hand to silence her.
"No 'but's, Kas. This is important."
She pouts and plonks herself back down on the couch. "She started it." She mumbles, pointing at Lilah, who looks just about ready to strangle my friend.
If I wasn't in such a rush to get Angel back I would have laughed. "Come on Kas, no matter how immature she may be, PLEASE help me here." I plead, hoping that for once she might actually comply.
Kas sighs pointedly and looks away, "*Fine*" She agrees. I grin, but she snaps a frown at me, "Doesn't mean I'll be nice."
I chuckle. "Whatever." She smiles and I turn my attention back to Wes. "Look, I'm really hoping you're gonna help. I know that you're quite content to sit back and let Lilah suck your-" Kas gasps and I roll my eyes, "-soul right out from under your nose," I watch as Kas releases her breath. One of these days I'm really going to have to talk to her about that one track mind of hers.. "But, Wes, you're a good guy. You always have been. And I *know* that you still are." I wait a beat. "So, what do ya say? Will you help?"
He looks at me and I can tell he's milling the options over in his mind. Maybe he might need a little extra incentive. I smile at him, "C'mon Wes..You know that if you say no you'll regret it for the rest of eternity.."
The Brit waits a few seconds, still pondering all the pros and cons of the situation. Finally he sighs. "Okay, I'll assist you.."
I break into a huge grin and throw my arms around his neck. "Thanks Wes!" I say, kissing his stubbly cheek lightly and eliciting a moan of 'I'm gonna be sick' from Kas.
For a brief second Wes blushes and transforms back into the character I knew and loved last season, but then his resolve is back and he struggles out of my embrace. "I will assist you on the condition that once I am no longer required you never contact me again."
I pull away, my hurt more than evident. "Wes-"
"Listen kiddo, he's made his decision." Lilah interrupts, obviously enjoying the pain I'm going through. Wes was my friend. And now..now he's deliberately pushing me away. At the scowl I'm giving her, Lilah laughs, "Oh come on! You didn't expect him to go running back to the people that rejected him with open arms did you?"
I look at the bitch then at Wes, who's eyes are cast downwards, then back at her again. "That's not true." I snarl. "You're brainwashing him!" My anger is rising faster than ever and I'm fighting with every fibre of my body to not tear her limb from limb. When she smirks I take a step forward and raise my arm, concentrating on crushing every bone in her slutty little body. Her eyes meet mine in defiance.
"Oh what's a pest like you gonna do, huh?" She chides.
I give her a humourless smile. "More than you'd ever imagine." At her confused look I laugh cruelly. I've never felt this dark. Ever. But right now, I couldn't care less. I feel powerful and she's gonna feel the equivalent of it in pain. "See Lilah, I forgot to mention that dimension hopping has kinda given me powers of my own."
She narrows her gaze, "You wouldn't."
I fake a yawn, "Bored now." And flick my wrist. Lilah goes flying, her head hitting the wall with a sickening crack. Kas screams. I ignore her and look at Wesley, completely devoid of emotion. "You helping or not?"
He looks at me, wide-eyed in shock. "Angel-"
"Save it." I snap. "Just answer the damn question."
He looks over at Kas. I follow his gaze. She's staring at me, a mixture of fear and mistrust on her pretty face. I curl my lip into a sadistic grin. "What?"
"Angel, as much as I hate Lilah-" She starts.
"You too?" I ask, holding up a hand to silence her, but immediately she flinches. That's when it strikes me that I've probably gone a little too far. My emotionless resolve crumbles and I look at her in shock and sadness. "Oh God Kas...I.."
She shakes her head. "Don't, Angel. I don't know what's come over you, but just don't." With that she moves towards Lilah's unconscious form, checking the woman over. After a few moments she looks at Wesley, "She's alive..call an Ambulance. Tell them she slipped and fell backwards." As her eyes move to focus on the lawyer sprawled out on the ground they catch mine for a second. I hate what I'm confronted with. I can see her disapproval, fear and pity in her chocolate orbs. She breaks the contact and goes on checking Lilah for further wounds and the like.
When Wesley hangs up the phone he gives me a similar look to the one Kas just gave me, only he intends on speaking his thoughts. "What just happened there Angel?"
I look back at him sadly. "I lost control." He moves to speak again, but I cut him off. "I didn't mean to..I mean, yeah I hate Lilah and all, but I guess it was all the anger that I had saved up. After I got back, when I found out about you taking Connor, well, that's when it started I guess. The fact that *nothing* I had said had sunk into your head..So I tried getting back here..and I couldn't and I was forced to watch as everything played out in front of me..Like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from..Then when Cordelia let Groo leave.." I chuckle a little, "I was angry at that 'cos he was so cute.."
I frown again, and drop onto his couch. "But then there was Justine..she lied to Connor and made Angel get into the box in a *so* not funny way. I mean, when I first read the spoiler I was imagining something along the lines of 'Here Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Get in the box' because I didn't think any of it to be a genuine spoiler..But it was and I got madder. Then when I saw you and Lilah.." I look away. "All I could think of was how badly you guys were all coping. And that made me angry. But to get here and see the way she's brainwashed you..That was the tip of the iceberg." I know I'm just rambling, but Wes owes me a deep and meaningful. I look back at him, remorse etched on my face. "I'm sorry." He sits beside me and awkwardly puts an arm around me. That's when I burst into tears and bury my face against him. "I'm so sorry.." I howl.
He hugs me closer and smooths my hair. "Shh," He offers, "It's okay..I understand."
"No!" I cry, "It's *not* okay! I almost killed a human being! How is that okay?!"
Kas moves over to my other side and rubs my back. "These things happen.." I sniffle and glare at her and she looks at Wes, then me again, "Okay, these things only seem to happen on TV, but you're not exactly in the real world anymore." She shrugs, "Besides, look at Faith, and Willow and, dare I say it, Wesley here. Oh and Angel and Spike. And Anya too.." She sighs, "They've all done things like this, Hell even GILES was once Ripper..and look at them. They're all coping. They're all loved and they're happy..kinda. Fine, so Angel might not be perfectly happy, and Spike is, well, probably suffering a great deal now, and, okay, so Faith is in prison and Willow needs psychological counselling, and Anya's a demon again and Wes is.." She stops and looks over my shoulder. "Wesley, please, help me out here."
I look up at him all doe-eyed and he manages a weak smile. "Your friend-"
"Kas." She interrupts.
"Kas-" He corrects himself. "-Is right. You feel remorse for your actions, which proves to me that you're not evil like you may be thinking. And, yes, I'll admit that while what you did was far from noble, the psychotic bitch had it coming." He looks across at her unconscious form. "Besides, she's not dead.."
"But I *wanted* to kill her!" I argue, dropping my head into my hands again.
"Like so many other people." Kas reminds me.
Wesley nods, "Yes. Hell, even *I've* contemplated it before."
"But that's different." I toss back. "It felt..good."
"I imagine it would have." He muses. "She's evil, Angel. A bad guy. The good guys, as a general rule, often fight and injure the bad guys."
"Thanks for the patronising, Wes." I hiss in frustration. "It's really helping."
Kas, meanwhile, sighs and tries to shake some sense into me. At my look of indignation she shrugs and tells me that it sometimes works on ALIAS. Rolling my eyes, I decide to pity myself again, which causes her to grip onto my face and force me to look at her. Oh the injustice..
"Angel," She snaps, "Listen, as much as I'm not liking the guy, he has a point."
Wes lets out an annoyed grunt. "Thankyou." He snarls sarcastically.
She shoots him another icy glare. "You still took Connor. You slept with..THAT," She points over at Lilah, "*And* you insulted me before. *Excuse Me* if I'm not your biggest fan right now."
Any progress I thought I'd made in getting the old Wes back has just been reversed. He stands and glares, pulling Kas and me up and shooing us to the door. "Out." He growls. "Now." And with that we're shoved back into the wretched hallway.
I round on Kas. "Did you have to do that?" I snap.
She looks at me in disbelief, "WHAT?!" She cries, "*You're* the one that wailed on his lover!"
"And he didn't care!" I snarl. "He was all for making *me* feel better! For *helping* me! And now he's not!" I storm down the hallway, ignoring the fact that she's stopped following. After a few minutes, I start to feel guilty and turn around to get her and apologise.
"Kas," I start, walking back up to her, "I didn't mean to-"
"That's just it! You don't mean anything in this reality!" She snaps. "You didn't mean to let Beth and I, your supposed best friends, in on your adventure! You didn't mean to injure Lilah! You didn't mean to threaten me! But guess what! You STILL DID THEM! You can't take it back! And I was just trying to help!"
Wow. We've never, ever fought before. Not real fighting anyway. So to hear her blow up like that..I'm in shock. I feel so awful. "Kas, I-"
"You what? Huh? You're sorry? You don't care?" She glares at me, "Look, whatever it is, you can save it! I don't want to know!" She starts to stalk her way down the hallway, and then turns around to glare at me one more time. "I'm going to go find Beth and get the hell out of here. Don't worry," She sneers, "You don't have to come. Wouldn't want to risk us screwing things up again for you."
I'm speechless as she walks away and out of sight. What the hell just happened there? Did I just lose one of my best friends? Oh God, I think I did. Great. So now not only is Wes ignoring me, but I've lost my friend's trust and help too..
I can feel my tears start to well up and I slide down the wall outside Wesley's apartment and curl into a hysterical, sobbing ball. He opens the door beside me, probably looking for the ambulance officers, and hesitates when he sees me.
I stay curled up, bawling my eyes out and almost jump out of my skin when his hand ends up on my shoulder. I lift my face to look at him and he extends his hand. Taking it wearily, he helps me up and ushers me back into his place.
Once I'm back inside, he looks at me, his face devoid of any emotion. "Where did your friend go?" He asks.
I shrug and feel the tears rush to the surface again. "She stormed off..I think I just fucked our friendship up." I drop back onto his couch and decide to wallow in self-pity. "I mean, that's not what upsets me. Shit happens, y'know? But it's *why* she stormed off..It was because I was still defending *you*.." Okay, not the complete truth, but while I'm here I might as well take advantage of the guilt thing. After all, it never hurt anyone, right?
"Angel-" He starts quietly, but gets cut off by the sharp knock on the door. He practically races to it and lets the medics in, who look at me crying on the couch and immediately assume that I'm crying over the prospect of losing Lilah.
How do I know this? Well, due to the sympathetic glances the really cute one is giving me. He strides forward and kneels in front of me, "It's okay ma'am." He says, "She's alive. We'll be doing our best to make sure she stays that way and that her condition improves."
At that I start to cry even more. Of course, he's probably thinking it's due to shock. I'm really thinking about how dead I'm gonna be when she wakes up.
Wesley answers all of the medics' questions, trying to remain as vague as possible, and then watches as they wheel Lilah's unconscious form out of his apartment. He stands at the doorway, watching as they disappear out of site and then turns back to me. I sigh.
"I know, 'get out'. I get it."
He frowns, "Angel-"
"And don't worry, I'll leave the dimension as well and then you'll never have to worry about me coming back and disrupting your life ever again." I add, ignoring him. "In fact, I'll stop watching the TV altogether and-"
"Would you just stop whining and listen for one minute?" He asks, "Or would you rather continue to sound just like Buffy the whiniest vampire layer that has ever existed?"
I freeze, a little shocked at his outburst and then grin through my tears. "I've stopped, and boy-howdy Wes, *that* was harsh!" I fake a pout, "I mean, it's one thing to call people names but *NOT* when they have anything to do with that trampy, whiny, annoying-" he sends me a look. I frown and shut up.
"Look, Angel, things are a bit trying for me at the moment...I am, in fact, quite pleased to see you again, although I do wish it were under different circumstances." He pauses, and softens his voice, "But I don't want you to leave and not come back. You're probably the only person in this dimension that actually wants to speak to me."
I sigh and look away, "And right about now, I'm thinking none of the others are really going to want to talk to me anyway.."
"Then I suppose we're both black-sheep right now." He adds, then smiles sadly.
I smile back at that comment. "And while I don't want to go back and talk to them, I have to 'cos I want to make sure that Angel and Cordy get back here and everything can get back to normal.." I complain, plonking back onto his couch. "And I think we're gonna need your help," I look up at him, "But if you don't want to, I wont try forcing you any more..."
He sits down beside me, "Understood..But I want to help. For your sake, if not any of the others'."
I grin at this and throw my arms around his neck. My Wes is coming back to me! After a while, I pull away and we talk about meaningless things, just getting used to each other again. Then I glance at the clock and grimace.
I look over at him and feign excitement, clearly mocking Dawn -the character that I have been shamelessly ranting about for the past ten minutes. (What can I say other than she shits me something shocking?) "Hey, Wes, wanna walk straight into our painful deaths now?"
"Angel," He says, shaking his head. "That was an eerily accurate portrayal..."
I laugh and shrug, "Ah well, it happens." I wait a beat. "Anyway, are you ready to face everyone? 'Cos I really should be getting back..Not that I want to."
"Unfortunately, I do believe you're right...Besides, better to get this over and done with, right?"
"Y'know.." I start, grinning at him as I stand and stretch, "That would have been a bit more effective if you actually *sounded* convinced that it is.."
"Whatever," He rolls his eyes in mock annoyance, then stands and moves to get his jacket.
Once he appears ready, I move to the door. "Okay, uncomfortable silences and death-threats, here we come!" I call with the false enthusiasm again.
Wesley groans behind me, "Okay, it's not amusing anymore. It's just bloody annoying."
I laugh and link my arm in his and we make our way to the Hyperion in companionable silence, both wondering if this is going to be worth the trouble...
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A/N- Like I explained before, this is shitty 'cos I've lost the motivation. I lost the scenes I was proud of and the hours on hours of work it took me to do them. Sorry if I seem like I'm in a PMSy mood, but I'm actually much worse than that right now. I'm bloody pissed off because I hate the way this turned out, and I can't seem to make it right again and I've officially given up 'cos you're probably all over it anyway and I don't want to write if you're not going to read, or at least TELL ME that you're reading. For those of you that *do* review, I am sorry about this outburst. In fact, the only reason I've continued this is because of the reviews and emails that told me to. ^_^ (I love you guys).
Anyway, I'm gonna head off and try and calm down. Please don't give up on me. I know this chapter ended up being pretty much the worst I have ever published...but I tried. BELIEVE me, I did.
Ciao for now
Neat
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"Oh-kay then!" I say, trying to break up the latest argument that has broken out between Kas, Wes and Lilah. They all pause to look at me. I fold my arms over my chest and frown, much like a disapproving mother to her quarrelling children. "Would you guys *please* shut up and sit down for 5 minutes?"
"But-" Kas begins. I hold up my hand to silence her.
"No 'but's, Kas. This is important."
She pouts and plonks herself back down on the couch. "She started it." She mumbles, pointing at Lilah, who looks just about ready to strangle my friend.
If I wasn't in such a rush to get Angel back I would have laughed. "Come on Kas, no matter how immature she may be, PLEASE help me here." I plead, hoping that for once she might actually comply.
Kas sighs pointedly and looks away, "*Fine*" She agrees. I grin, but she snaps a frown at me, "Doesn't mean I'll be nice."
I chuckle. "Whatever." She smiles and I turn my attention back to Wes. "Look, I'm really hoping you're gonna help. I know that you're quite content to sit back and let Lilah suck your-" Kas gasps and I roll my eyes, "-soul right out from under your nose," I watch as Kas releases her breath. One of these days I'm really going to have to talk to her about that one track mind of hers.. "But, Wes, you're a good guy. You always have been. And I *know* that you still are." I wait a beat. "So, what do ya say? Will you help?"
He looks at me and I can tell he's milling the options over in his mind. Maybe he might need a little extra incentive. I smile at him, "C'mon Wes..You know that if you say no you'll regret it for the rest of eternity.."
The Brit waits a few seconds, still pondering all the pros and cons of the situation. Finally he sighs. "Okay, I'll assist you.."
I break into a huge grin and throw my arms around his neck. "Thanks Wes!" I say, kissing his stubbly cheek lightly and eliciting a moan of 'I'm gonna be sick' from Kas.
For a brief second Wes blushes and transforms back into the character I knew and loved last season, but then his resolve is back and he struggles out of my embrace. "I will assist you on the condition that once I am no longer required you never contact me again."
I pull away, my hurt more than evident. "Wes-"
"Listen kiddo, he's made his decision." Lilah interrupts, obviously enjoying the pain I'm going through. Wes was my friend. And now..now he's deliberately pushing me away. At the scowl I'm giving her, Lilah laughs, "Oh come on! You didn't expect him to go running back to the people that rejected him with open arms did you?"
I look at the bitch then at Wes, who's eyes are cast downwards, then back at her again. "That's not true." I snarl. "You're brainwashing him!" My anger is rising faster than ever and I'm fighting with every fibre of my body to not tear her limb from limb. When she smirks I take a step forward and raise my arm, concentrating on crushing every bone in her slutty little body. Her eyes meet mine in defiance.
"Oh what's a pest like you gonna do, huh?" She chides.
I give her a humourless smile. "More than you'd ever imagine." At her confused look I laugh cruelly. I've never felt this dark. Ever. But right now, I couldn't care less. I feel powerful and she's gonna feel the equivalent of it in pain. "See Lilah, I forgot to mention that dimension hopping has kinda given me powers of my own."
She narrows her gaze, "You wouldn't."
I fake a yawn, "Bored now." And flick my wrist. Lilah goes flying, her head hitting the wall with a sickening crack. Kas screams. I ignore her and look at Wesley, completely devoid of emotion. "You helping or not?"
He looks at me, wide-eyed in shock. "Angel-"
"Save it." I snap. "Just answer the damn question."
He looks over at Kas. I follow his gaze. She's staring at me, a mixture of fear and mistrust on her pretty face. I curl my lip into a sadistic grin. "What?"
"Angel, as much as I hate Lilah-" She starts.
"You too?" I ask, holding up a hand to silence her, but immediately she flinches. That's when it strikes me that I've probably gone a little too far. My emotionless resolve crumbles and I look at her in shock and sadness. "Oh God Kas...I.."
She shakes her head. "Don't, Angel. I don't know what's come over you, but just don't." With that she moves towards Lilah's unconscious form, checking the woman over. After a few moments she looks at Wesley, "She's alive..call an Ambulance. Tell them she slipped and fell backwards." As her eyes move to focus on the lawyer sprawled out on the ground they catch mine for a second. I hate what I'm confronted with. I can see her disapproval, fear and pity in her chocolate orbs. She breaks the contact and goes on checking Lilah for further wounds and the like.
When Wesley hangs up the phone he gives me a similar look to the one Kas just gave me, only he intends on speaking his thoughts. "What just happened there Angel?"
I look back at him sadly. "I lost control." He moves to speak again, but I cut him off. "I didn't mean to..I mean, yeah I hate Lilah and all, but I guess it was all the anger that I had saved up. After I got back, when I found out about you taking Connor, well, that's when it started I guess. The fact that *nothing* I had said had sunk into your head..So I tried getting back here..and I couldn't and I was forced to watch as everything played out in front of me..Like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from..Then when Cordelia let Groo leave.." I chuckle a little, "I was angry at that 'cos he was so cute.."
I frown again, and drop onto his couch. "But then there was Justine..she lied to Connor and made Angel get into the box in a *so* not funny way. I mean, when I first read the spoiler I was imagining something along the lines of 'Here Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Get in the box' because I didn't think any of it to be a genuine spoiler..But it was and I got madder. Then when I saw you and Lilah.." I look away. "All I could think of was how badly you guys were all coping. And that made me angry. But to get here and see the way she's brainwashed you..That was the tip of the iceberg." I know I'm just rambling, but Wes owes me a deep and meaningful. I look back at him, remorse etched on my face. "I'm sorry." He sits beside me and awkwardly puts an arm around me. That's when I burst into tears and bury my face against him. "I'm so sorry.." I howl.
He hugs me closer and smooths my hair. "Shh," He offers, "It's okay..I understand."
"No!" I cry, "It's *not* okay! I almost killed a human being! How is that okay?!"
Kas moves over to my other side and rubs my back. "These things happen.." I sniffle and glare at her and she looks at Wes, then me again, "Okay, these things only seem to happen on TV, but you're not exactly in the real world anymore." She shrugs, "Besides, look at Faith, and Willow and, dare I say it, Wesley here. Oh and Angel and Spike. And Anya too.." She sighs, "They've all done things like this, Hell even GILES was once Ripper..and look at them. They're all coping. They're all loved and they're happy..kinda. Fine, so Angel might not be perfectly happy, and Spike is, well, probably suffering a great deal now, and, okay, so Faith is in prison and Willow needs psychological counselling, and Anya's a demon again and Wes is.." She stops and looks over my shoulder. "Wesley, please, help me out here."
I look up at him all doe-eyed and he manages a weak smile. "Your friend-"
"Kas." She interrupts.
"Kas-" He corrects himself. "-Is right. You feel remorse for your actions, which proves to me that you're not evil like you may be thinking. And, yes, I'll admit that while what you did was far from noble, the psychotic bitch had it coming." He looks across at her unconscious form. "Besides, she's not dead.."
"But I *wanted* to kill her!" I argue, dropping my head into my hands again.
"Like so many other people." Kas reminds me.
Wesley nods, "Yes. Hell, even *I've* contemplated it before."
"But that's different." I toss back. "It felt..good."
"I imagine it would have." He muses. "She's evil, Angel. A bad guy. The good guys, as a general rule, often fight and injure the bad guys."
"Thanks for the patronising, Wes." I hiss in frustration. "It's really helping."
Kas, meanwhile, sighs and tries to shake some sense into me. At my look of indignation she shrugs and tells me that it sometimes works on ALIAS. Rolling my eyes, I decide to pity myself again, which causes her to grip onto my face and force me to look at her. Oh the injustice..
"Angel," She snaps, "Listen, as much as I'm not liking the guy, he has a point."
Wes lets out an annoyed grunt. "Thankyou." He snarls sarcastically.
She shoots him another icy glare. "You still took Connor. You slept with..THAT," She points over at Lilah, "*And* you insulted me before. *Excuse Me* if I'm not your biggest fan right now."
Any progress I thought I'd made in getting the old Wes back has just been reversed. He stands and glares, pulling Kas and me up and shooing us to the door. "Out." He growls. "Now." And with that we're shoved back into the wretched hallway.
I round on Kas. "Did you have to do that?" I snap.
She looks at me in disbelief, "WHAT?!" She cries, "*You're* the one that wailed on his lover!"
"And he didn't care!" I snarl. "He was all for making *me* feel better! For *helping* me! And now he's not!" I storm down the hallway, ignoring the fact that she's stopped following. After a few minutes, I start to feel guilty and turn around to get her and apologise.
"Kas," I start, walking back up to her, "I didn't mean to-"
"That's just it! You don't mean anything in this reality!" She snaps. "You didn't mean to let Beth and I, your supposed best friends, in on your adventure! You didn't mean to injure Lilah! You didn't mean to threaten me! But guess what! You STILL DID THEM! You can't take it back! And I was just trying to help!"
Wow. We've never, ever fought before. Not real fighting anyway. So to hear her blow up like that..I'm in shock. I feel so awful. "Kas, I-"
"You what? Huh? You're sorry? You don't care?" She glares at me, "Look, whatever it is, you can save it! I don't want to know!" She starts to stalk her way down the hallway, and then turns around to glare at me one more time. "I'm going to go find Beth and get the hell out of here. Don't worry," She sneers, "You don't have to come. Wouldn't want to risk us screwing things up again for you."
I'm speechless as she walks away and out of sight. What the hell just happened there? Did I just lose one of my best friends? Oh God, I think I did. Great. So now not only is Wes ignoring me, but I've lost my friend's trust and help too..
I can feel my tears start to well up and I slide down the wall outside Wesley's apartment and curl into a hysterical, sobbing ball. He opens the door beside me, probably looking for the ambulance officers, and hesitates when he sees me.
I stay curled up, bawling my eyes out and almost jump out of my skin when his hand ends up on my shoulder. I lift my face to look at him and he extends his hand. Taking it wearily, he helps me up and ushers me back into his place.
Once I'm back inside, he looks at me, his face devoid of any emotion. "Where did your friend go?" He asks.
I shrug and feel the tears rush to the surface again. "She stormed off..I think I just fucked our friendship up." I drop back onto his couch and decide to wallow in self-pity. "I mean, that's not what upsets me. Shit happens, y'know? But it's *why* she stormed off..It was because I was still defending *you*.." Okay, not the complete truth, but while I'm here I might as well take advantage of the guilt thing. After all, it never hurt anyone, right?
"Angel-" He starts quietly, but gets cut off by the sharp knock on the door. He practically races to it and lets the medics in, who look at me crying on the couch and immediately assume that I'm crying over the prospect of losing Lilah.
How do I know this? Well, due to the sympathetic glances the really cute one is giving me. He strides forward and kneels in front of me, "It's okay ma'am." He says, "She's alive. We'll be doing our best to make sure she stays that way and that her condition improves."
At that I start to cry even more. Of course, he's probably thinking it's due to shock. I'm really thinking about how dead I'm gonna be when she wakes up.
Wesley answers all of the medics' questions, trying to remain as vague as possible, and then watches as they wheel Lilah's unconscious form out of his apartment. He stands at the doorway, watching as they disappear out of site and then turns back to me. I sigh.
"I know, 'get out'. I get it."
He frowns, "Angel-"
"And don't worry, I'll leave the dimension as well and then you'll never have to worry about me coming back and disrupting your life ever again." I add, ignoring him. "In fact, I'll stop watching the TV altogether and-"
"Would you just stop whining and listen for one minute?" He asks, "Or would you rather continue to sound just like Buffy the whiniest vampire layer that has ever existed?"
I freeze, a little shocked at his outburst and then grin through my tears. "I've stopped, and boy-howdy Wes, *that* was harsh!" I fake a pout, "I mean, it's one thing to call people names but *NOT* when they have anything to do with that trampy, whiny, annoying-" he sends me a look. I frown and shut up.
"Look, Angel, things are a bit trying for me at the moment...I am, in fact, quite pleased to see you again, although I do wish it were under different circumstances." He pauses, and softens his voice, "But I don't want you to leave and not come back. You're probably the only person in this dimension that actually wants to speak to me."
I sigh and look away, "And right about now, I'm thinking none of the others are really going to want to talk to me anyway.."
"Then I suppose we're both black-sheep right now." He adds, then smiles sadly.
I smile back at that comment. "And while I don't want to go back and talk to them, I have to 'cos I want to make sure that Angel and Cordy get back here and everything can get back to normal.." I complain, plonking back onto his couch. "And I think we're gonna need your help," I look up at him, "But if you don't want to, I wont try forcing you any more..."
He sits down beside me, "Understood..But I want to help. For your sake, if not any of the others'."
I grin at this and throw my arms around his neck. My Wes is coming back to me! After a while, I pull away and we talk about meaningless things, just getting used to each other again. Then I glance at the clock and grimace.
I look over at him and feign excitement, clearly mocking Dawn -the character that I have been shamelessly ranting about for the past ten minutes. (What can I say other than she shits me something shocking?) "Hey, Wes, wanna walk straight into our painful deaths now?"
"Angel," He says, shaking his head. "That was an eerily accurate portrayal..."
I laugh and shrug, "Ah well, it happens." I wait a beat. "Anyway, are you ready to face everyone? 'Cos I really should be getting back..Not that I want to."
"Unfortunately, I do believe you're right...Besides, better to get this over and done with, right?"
"Y'know.." I start, grinning at him as I stand and stretch, "That would have been a bit more effective if you actually *sounded* convinced that it is.."
"Whatever," He rolls his eyes in mock annoyance, then stands and moves to get his jacket.
Once he appears ready, I move to the door. "Okay, uncomfortable silences and death-threats, here we come!" I call with the false enthusiasm again.
Wesley groans behind me, "Okay, it's not amusing anymore. It's just bloody annoying."
I laugh and link my arm in his and we make our way to the Hyperion in companionable silence, both wondering if this is going to be worth the trouble...
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A/N- Like I explained before, this is shitty 'cos I've lost the motivation. I lost the scenes I was proud of and the hours on hours of work it took me to do them. Sorry if I seem like I'm in a PMSy mood, but I'm actually much worse than that right now. I'm bloody pissed off because I hate the way this turned out, and I can't seem to make it right again and I've officially given up 'cos you're probably all over it anyway and I don't want to write if you're not going to read, or at least TELL ME that you're reading. For those of you that *do* review, I am sorry about this outburst. In fact, the only reason I've continued this is because of the reviews and emails that told me to. ^_^ (I love you guys).
Anyway, I'm gonna head off and try and calm down. Please don't give up on me. I know this chapter ended up being pretty much the worst I have ever published...but I tried. BELIEVE me, I did.
Ciao for now
Neat