Disclaimer: ::Sigh:: This is completely unnecessary by now. Stop the Insanity.
A/N: This story takes place in order (so far). For those who I confused, "Go Figure" does happen before "Another Day in Paradise"...thank you.
A/N # 2: I don't have no ownership on the song "Freefalling". I just thought I could incorporate it into the title. Snazzy, ain't it?
'Cause I'm Free...FreeBawling
There are certain idioms in the English language that just don't add up. If someone thought twice about them, he would wonder, "Who comes up with this stuff?" Here are some examples: civil war, army intelligence, summer school, smart blond, jumbo shrimp, diet sodas, etc.
Case in point: Which idiot coined the phrase "cold stab of jealousy"?
While She did "stab" Logan in the back, She didn't scamper away and let him slowly bleed to death. No, She was too devious and underhanded to simply leave someone's demise at that.
She walked by you, plaguing complete strangers and loved ones, but only shot you a shy smile before sashaying away. You always told your friends they just suffered from "petty Jealousy" or a little of the "Green Eyed-Monster". But no matter how She may disguise herself as "petty" and "little", she is anything but.
Then, completely out of the blue, instead of sashaying away, She spun and slammed her deceivingly slight body into you. It's like the movies, where a ghost runs through someone's body, and he braces himself for a slam only a professional linebacker could make. The body leans forward, the eyes lock shut, the muscles hum with expectation of a blow. And then... nothing.
At first.
Logan's worst nightmare just took another large leap from the dream world towards real life. It's such a cliche to say that someone's world could crumble with mere words. Then again, Cliches only seem like Cliches until, like Jealousy, they stand right in front of your face, daring you to make the next move.
It's amazing how three simple words could make or break your life. Unfortunately, this conversation didn't lead to the words Logan had been waiting for to float from Max's lips. "I love you." Nope, instead she decided to say, "I'm marrying Alec."
That would be one point for Jealousy.
Back to the case. Yes, Jealousy did stab Logan in his backside. But no, she didn't leave him spurting blood until his eyes closed forever. That's what Logan had always collected from the saying; She hits and runs, and the wound slowly kills you.
But like so many other things in life, Jealousy had one twisted sense of humor.
"I'm marrying Alec."
It would be easier to die. To just give up and let go would be bliss. But Jealousy gives you a false sense of hope, thinking you can win her back, have the Disney version ending.
At first.
After receiving the whammy from Max, Logan was pretty sure he'd done the gentlemanly thing. He'd probably supported her unwittingly slanderous decision. He'd probably tried to see her arguments on why she couldn't marry him instead. "What if I forget about the virus? What if I touch your food without knowing Logan? I, we, can't take that chance. I can't lose you now. If I stay married to Alec for a mere year and a half, we'll be free. Sometime soon we will find a cure for the virus. Please Logan, don't..."
It was just a pity he couldn't remember. Things were kind of a blur after that. He knew he somehow managed a slight nod, leaving a distraught Max momentarily satisfied. As long as she didn't think he'd kill himself when she walked out the door, she would leave, and he could think about the disastrous vortex his life decided to coast down on in the last seven minutes.
Max had shut the door behind her, leaving Logan's contemplations to silently resonate off the walls.
"I'm marrying Alec."
May the wonders never cease.
It's was also a pity that she hadn't locked the door behind herself, because Jealousy was even stealthier then a top-ranked transgenic. After several minutes of mental numbness, the questions began to form. He had started second-guessing his life and Max's life. Change twenty minutes of a started confession and traded it with a round of chess, and this entire catastrophe could have been avoided.
But Jealousy shouldn't be described as "cold" though she wasn't hot either. No, she would hit and run. Leaving your soul empty, she would fill in the chasm with coals. The coals would get heavier by the minute and mysteriously start to glow. No, glow is not the right word. They just shine like they were covered with kerosene. And they were warm and ready to be lit.
By the time he began second guessing Alec's life, Jealousy had waltzed through the door, locked herself into Logan's crib, and cooked up a siesta. But she didn't stop there. Oh, no. She couldn't possibly throw a killer party without her buds right? So of course she invited her friends. Let's see, there was Confusion and Validation. Pity came with his long time girlfriend Hopelessness.
But the real showstopper came in fashionably late and white hot in all his thrilling magnetism. Of course with such a crowd-puller personality He didn't need a date; He would steal somebody else's eventually. Rage may have come alone, but he partied the heartiest. And He lasted the longest.
And Logan's eyes be damned if Rage didn't look a lot like Alec.
Logan sat. He just let Jealousy and Rage flirt and chase each other through his capillaries. His muscles screaming in protest, in need of release. After a few hours, when the questions wouldn't stop forming and the rationalizations long stopped flowing, he grabbed the nearest object and hurled it with all his might against the wooden panel wall.
"I'm marrying..."Crack! A thin obsidian-like dust wafted through the air.
That felt unnervingly enjoyable.
Logan was fired up, ready to continue throwing costly item after item. Bring down the entire superficial lifestyle. There was that vase from the Ming dynasty in the bedroom and the Faberge egg next to the sofa. Maybe after a few dozen satisfying crashes and the entire penthouse was covered in dust he would feel like he had done something productive.
Isn't it ironic how stories' downtrodden heroes take blow after blow with an inconceivable grace? The guy just lets everybody walk on him, and the reader knows he is the only one in the entire story in the right. The reader feels so indignant as the story rises to a crest, where the protagonist is finally ready to take everyone's pride and resentment towards himself and shove it into the mud. And right as he gets ready to tell everyone just where to shove it, he gets cut short of his moment of glory.
Amazingly enough, that can apply to real life. And in Logan's case, it did.
In the frantic search for the next object to hurl his bloodshot eyes fell across his first victim.
The Bast. His Bast. Max's Bast. Their Bast.
And since Logan was blazing through an intense philosophical moment, that was just the icing on the cake.
The hot air from the east completely deflated in the sails. Columbus may as well turn around and head back to a European seaport while he still can. And Logan did what Columbus would have done given their situations, what any self-respecting man would have done.
He bawled like a baby.
*****
An hour later, Asha had to make another gun drop-off at Logan's. She flew through the unlocked door with her usual unbounded energy. "Hey Logan," she called, placing her "gift" on the kitchen counter. "You wouldn't happen to mind if I left another crate of guns with you would you?" The kitchen was empty. So was the living room and computer room. She strolled towards the bedroom door. "I promise I'll have them picked up by tomorrow," she continued, propping herself against the doorway. "Maybe I can have Tommy pick them up."
The silence still draped itself over the penthouse like death itself.
"Maybe I could have Jay and Silent Bob pick them up," she teased.
And yet, nothing.
"You still sleeping or something? Come on Logan, don't you know a joke when you hear one? I swear you have lost your sense of humor these days," she drawled. By the time she hit the word "humor", Asha noticed the door was slightly ajar, which would be completely unlike Logan. If there was one thing that man cherished it was his sense of privacy. Slightly piqued, Asha "accidentally brushed" one finger against the door, which fell open several more inches.
This was strange. Once when she turned the knob Logan had swung a pillow at the door in a clear warning to keep out. She peaked her head around the corner. The shades were still drawn and the bed was a mess.
Both the wheelchair and exoskeleton still sat diligently next to his bed, but Logan himself wasn't in sight. "Hmmm," Asha mumbled. She made a quick glance toward her watch. Two-thirty in the afternoon. Things just kept getting weirder and weirder. Even in college when the boy pulled an all-nighter he'd never slept past twelve. "Old age," she cracked quietly. Her head was just rolling itself into its normally upright position when her eyes caught something on the floor.
A foot. A limp foot.
Quick on the alarm, Asha hurtled herself around the bed, nearly fracturing her leg in the process. She fell to the floor next to Logan. After a quick check for any damage, she sighed in relief. He was fine. He'd probably just rolled out of bed in his sleep. She reminded herself to warn him about these constant all-nighters. Virus or no virus, a body had to sleep. Those two would find a cure eventually. A guilty half-smile fell across her lips, he kind of resembled a little boy when he slept. She never would have figured the guy to like the fetal position. Where those tear stains? And how did the meticulous Logan get so much dirt in one place? If he were the janitor of the building, there wouldn't be that much dirt in the entire dwelling.
She sat back on her heels and sighed with half-hearted sympathy. Too bad a woman had to do what a woman had to do.
She walloped Logan. Hard.
"Owww!" He whined. He looked so adorably innocent as his eyes fluttered open to her that the poor girl had to remind herself to breathe. "What was that for?!?"
With an eyebrow lift, she cuffed him again. Twice.
Off of the sounds of protests, Asha bounced back with, "The first one was to check to see if you were still breathing, the second was because you scared the crap out of me. And the third," she strummed off with a matter-of-fact tone. "Was for general principle."
Logan gave a half-hearted glare, while Asha shot him a ditzy smile.
"Let me take a shower," he grumbled.
*****
Jealousy hadn't completely evaporated, but Logan felt he could control Her better now. Asha was animatedly bouncing around the kitchen, whipping herself up a sandwich, and informing Logan on the latest triumphs of the S1W. "...So the guys decided they wanted to jump ship at the last moment, filthy rats, leaving me and Jonah to download the entire mainframe by ourselves. Insane, huh?"
She received no response; Logan was staring at his hands again, seemingly lost in some faraway thought. She stepped towards him. "Logan," she whispered, like he was a child who dazed off while his mom informed him on the importance of cleanliness. His head shot up, and a guilty blush spread rapidly across his face.
"Whatcha thinking?" She asked like a little girl, complete with the constantly moving left foot.
"Nothing."
"Riiiiiight."
Logan laughed. "That wasn't a half-bad Dr. Evil if I do say so myself."
That earned him a small smile. "Doesn't get you off the hook young man. Don't you know better than to let your mind wander during class?" She was in full teacher mode now. "I could hand out a pop quiz." She dropped the facade, "Seriously, Logan, are you okay."
A deep sigh seemed to penetrate both of them. "Do you think Alec's better than me, Asha?" He seemed to change his train of thought instantly. "Sorry, that is an unfair question. It's just that...I know I am a straight guy, so I have no problem admitting that Alec is a sex magnet. He just seems to attract lots of willing," he faltered but recovered quickly. "And uh, unwilling attention. Could I compete with that?"
Breathe girl. Go for nonchalance. "Sure Logan, you don't exude the same qualities that Alec does, but you do exude lots of awesome characteristics that seem nonexistent in men these days."
He didn't seem to be wholly convinced, but he did seem more hopeful. His shoulders straightened up and he would actually look Asha in the eyes. "Ya think?" Came the soft question.
"Yeah Logan. You're smart, funny, good-looking, caring, willing to put your life on the line for others, noble, and..." She made a sudden, if not faked, glance towards her watch. "...I have got to go. I am just going to check one thing with the Glocks and roll myself out of here. They'll be gone by tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah," Logan responded absentmindedly, thinking about what she just said. He glanced over Asha, distractedly taking in how what a capable person she was, seemingly ready to handle just about any situation. Just what he needed.
He turned his entire body around, not wanting to miss one fraction of her reaction. "Max and Alec are getting married you know," he began conversationally.
Naturally, Asha dropped the gun as if it were a venomous snake.
Thank you to all the reviews. I don't deserve them. (This is not fake humility here; you should see how serious I am typing this.) If you do review, feel free to flame. If someone compliments me my ego is bound to blow up like Alec's...wait, is that possible? ;)
Next part, next weekend. (Seriously this time.)
A/N: This story takes place in order (so far). For those who I confused, "Go Figure" does happen before "Another Day in Paradise"...thank you.
A/N # 2: I don't have no ownership on the song "Freefalling". I just thought I could incorporate it into the title. Snazzy, ain't it?
'Cause I'm Free...FreeBawling
There are certain idioms in the English language that just don't add up. If someone thought twice about them, he would wonder, "Who comes up with this stuff?" Here are some examples: civil war, army intelligence, summer school, smart blond, jumbo shrimp, diet sodas, etc.
Case in point: Which idiot coined the phrase "cold stab of jealousy"?
While She did "stab" Logan in the back, She didn't scamper away and let him slowly bleed to death. No, She was too devious and underhanded to simply leave someone's demise at that.
She walked by you, plaguing complete strangers and loved ones, but only shot you a shy smile before sashaying away. You always told your friends they just suffered from "petty Jealousy" or a little of the "Green Eyed-Monster". But no matter how She may disguise herself as "petty" and "little", she is anything but.
Then, completely out of the blue, instead of sashaying away, She spun and slammed her deceivingly slight body into you. It's like the movies, where a ghost runs through someone's body, and he braces himself for a slam only a professional linebacker could make. The body leans forward, the eyes lock shut, the muscles hum with expectation of a blow. And then... nothing.
At first.
Logan's worst nightmare just took another large leap from the dream world towards real life. It's such a cliche to say that someone's world could crumble with mere words. Then again, Cliches only seem like Cliches until, like Jealousy, they stand right in front of your face, daring you to make the next move.
It's amazing how three simple words could make or break your life. Unfortunately, this conversation didn't lead to the words Logan had been waiting for to float from Max's lips. "I love you." Nope, instead she decided to say, "I'm marrying Alec."
That would be one point for Jealousy.
Back to the case. Yes, Jealousy did stab Logan in his backside. But no, she didn't leave him spurting blood until his eyes closed forever. That's what Logan had always collected from the saying; She hits and runs, and the wound slowly kills you.
But like so many other things in life, Jealousy had one twisted sense of humor.
"I'm marrying Alec."
It would be easier to die. To just give up and let go would be bliss. But Jealousy gives you a false sense of hope, thinking you can win her back, have the Disney version ending.
At first.
After receiving the whammy from Max, Logan was pretty sure he'd done the gentlemanly thing. He'd probably supported her unwittingly slanderous decision. He'd probably tried to see her arguments on why she couldn't marry him instead. "What if I forget about the virus? What if I touch your food without knowing Logan? I, we, can't take that chance. I can't lose you now. If I stay married to Alec for a mere year and a half, we'll be free. Sometime soon we will find a cure for the virus. Please Logan, don't..."
It was just a pity he couldn't remember. Things were kind of a blur after that. He knew he somehow managed a slight nod, leaving a distraught Max momentarily satisfied. As long as she didn't think he'd kill himself when she walked out the door, she would leave, and he could think about the disastrous vortex his life decided to coast down on in the last seven minutes.
Max had shut the door behind her, leaving Logan's contemplations to silently resonate off the walls.
"I'm marrying Alec."
May the wonders never cease.
It's was also a pity that she hadn't locked the door behind herself, because Jealousy was even stealthier then a top-ranked transgenic. After several minutes of mental numbness, the questions began to form. He had started second-guessing his life and Max's life. Change twenty minutes of a started confession and traded it with a round of chess, and this entire catastrophe could have been avoided.
But Jealousy shouldn't be described as "cold" though she wasn't hot either. No, she would hit and run. Leaving your soul empty, she would fill in the chasm with coals. The coals would get heavier by the minute and mysteriously start to glow. No, glow is not the right word. They just shine like they were covered with kerosene. And they were warm and ready to be lit.
By the time he began second guessing Alec's life, Jealousy had waltzed through the door, locked herself into Logan's crib, and cooked up a siesta. But she didn't stop there. Oh, no. She couldn't possibly throw a killer party without her buds right? So of course she invited her friends. Let's see, there was Confusion and Validation. Pity came with his long time girlfriend Hopelessness.
But the real showstopper came in fashionably late and white hot in all his thrilling magnetism. Of course with such a crowd-puller personality He didn't need a date; He would steal somebody else's eventually. Rage may have come alone, but he partied the heartiest. And He lasted the longest.
And Logan's eyes be damned if Rage didn't look a lot like Alec.
Logan sat. He just let Jealousy and Rage flirt and chase each other through his capillaries. His muscles screaming in protest, in need of release. After a few hours, when the questions wouldn't stop forming and the rationalizations long stopped flowing, he grabbed the nearest object and hurled it with all his might against the wooden panel wall.
"I'm marrying..."Crack! A thin obsidian-like dust wafted through the air.
That felt unnervingly enjoyable.
Logan was fired up, ready to continue throwing costly item after item. Bring down the entire superficial lifestyle. There was that vase from the Ming dynasty in the bedroom and the Faberge egg next to the sofa. Maybe after a few dozen satisfying crashes and the entire penthouse was covered in dust he would feel like he had done something productive.
Isn't it ironic how stories' downtrodden heroes take blow after blow with an inconceivable grace? The guy just lets everybody walk on him, and the reader knows he is the only one in the entire story in the right. The reader feels so indignant as the story rises to a crest, where the protagonist is finally ready to take everyone's pride and resentment towards himself and shove it into the mud. And right as he gets ready to tell everyone just where to shove it, he gets cut short of his moment of glory.
Amazingly enough, that can apply to real life. And in Logan's case, it did.
In the frantic search for the next object to hurl his bloodshot eyes fell across his first victim.
The Bast. His Bast. Max's Bast. Their Bast.
And since Logan was blazing through an intense philosophical moment, that was just the icing on the cake.
The hot air from the east completely deflated in the sails. Columbus may as well turn around and head back to a European seaport while he still can. And Logan did what Columbus would have done given their situations, what any self-respecting man would have done.
He bawled like a baby.
*****
An hour later, Asha had to make another gun drop-off at Logan's. She flew through the unlocked door with her usual unbounded energy. "Hey Logan," she called, placing her "gift" on the kitchen counter. "You wouldn't happen to mind if I left another crate of guns with you would you?" The kitchen was empty. So was the living room and computer room. She strolled towards the bedroom door. "I promise I'll have them picked up by tomorrow," she continued, propping herself against the doorway. "Maybe I can have Tommy pick them up."
The silence still draped itself over the penthouse like death itself.
"Maybe I could have Jay and Silent Bob pick them up," she teased.
And yet, nothing.
"You still sleeping or something? Come on Logan, don't you know a joke when you hear one? I swear you have lost your sense of humor these days," she drawled. By the time she hit the word "humor", Asha noticed the door was slightly ajar, which would be completely unlike Logan. If there was one thing that man cherished it was his sense of privacy. Slightly piqued, Asha "accidentally brushed" one finger against the door, which fell open several more inches.
This was strange. Once when she turned the knob Logan had swung a pillow at the door in a clear warning to keep out. She peaked her head around the corner. The shades were still drawn and the bed was a mess.
Both the wheelchair and exoskeleton still sat diligently next to his bed, but Logan himself wasn't in sight. "Hmmm," Asha mumbled. She made a quick glance toward her watch. Two-thirty in the afternoon. Things just kept getting weirder and weirder. Even in college when the boy pulled an all-nighter he'd never slept past twelve. "Old age," she cracked quietly. Her head was just rolling itself into its normally upright position when her eyes caught something on the floor.
A foot. A limp foot.
Quick on the alarm, Asha hurtled herself around the bed, nearly fracturing her leg in the process. She fell to the floor next to Logan. After a quick check for any damage, she sighed in relief. He was fine. He'd probably just rolled out of bed in his sleep. She reminded herself to warn him about these constant all-nighters. Virus or no virus, a body had to sleep. Those two would find a cure eventually. A guilty half-smile fell across her lips, he kind of resembled a little boy when he slept. She never would have figured the guy to like the fetal position. Where those tear stains? And how did the meticulous Logan get so much dirt in one place? If he were the janitor of the building, there wouldn't be that much dirt in the entire dwelling.
She sat back on her heels and sighed with half-hearted sympathy. Too bad a woman had to do what a woman had to do.
She walloped Logan. Hard.
"Owww!" He whined. He looked so adorably innocent as his eyes fluttered open to her that the poor girl had to remind herself to breathe. "What was that for?!?"
With an eyebrow lift, she cuffed him again. Twice.
Off of the sounds of protests, Asha bounced back with, "The first one was to check to see if you were still breathing, the second was because you scared the crap out of me. And the third," she strummed off with a matter-of-fact tone. "Was for general principle."
Logan gave a half-hearted glare, while Asha shot him a ditzy smile.
"Let me take a shower," he grumbled.
*****
Jealousy hadn't completely evaporated, but Logan felt he could control Her better now. Asha was animatedly bouncing around the kitchen, whipping herself up a sandwich, and informing Logan on the latest triumphs of the S1W. "...So the guys decided they wanted to jump ship at the last moment, filthy rats, leaving me and Jonah to download the entire mainframe by ourselves. Insane, huh?"
She received no response; Logan was staring at his hands again, seemingly lost in some faraway thought. She stepped towards him. "Logan," she whispered, like he was a child who dazed off while his mom informed him on the importance of cleanliness. His head shot up, and a guilty blush spread rapidly across his face.
"Whatcha thinking?" She asked like a little girl, complete with the constantly moving left foot.
"Nothing."
"Riiiiiight."
Logan laughed. "That wasn't a half-bad Dr. Evil if I do say so myself."
That earned him a small smile. "Doesn't get you off the hook young man. Don't you know better than to let your mind wander during class?" She was in full teacher mode now. "I could hand out a pop quiz." She dropped the facade, "Seriously, Logan, are you okay."
A deep sigh seemed to penetrate both of them. "Do you think Alec's better than me, Asha?" He seemed to change his train of thought instantly. "Sorry, that is an unfair question. It's just that...I know I am a straight guy, so I have no problem admitting that Alec is a sex magnet. He just seems to attract lots of willing," he faltered but recovered quickly. "And uh, unwilling attention. Could I compete with that?"
Breathe girl. Go for nonchalance. "Sure Logan, you don't exude the same qualities that Alec does, but you do exude lots of awesome characteristics that seem nonexistent in men these days."
He didn't seem to be wholly convinced, but he did seem more hopeful. His shoulders straightened up and he would actually look Asha in the eyes. "Ya think?" Came the soft question.
"Yeah Logan. You're smart, funny, good-looking, caring, willing to put your life on the line for others, noble, and..." She made a sudden, if not faked, glance towards her watch. "...I have got to go. I am just going to check one thing with the Glocks and roll myself out of here. They'll be gone by tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah," Logan responded absentmindedly, thinking about what she just said. He glanced over Asha, distractedly taking in how what a capable person she was, seemingly ready to handle just about any situation. Just what he needed.
He turned his entire body around, not wanting to miss one fraction of her reaction. "Max and Alec are getting married you know," he began conversationally.
Naturally, Asha dropped the gun as if it were a venomous snake.
Thank you to all the reviews. I don't deserve them. (This is not fake humility here; you should see how serious I am typing this.) If you do review, feel free to flame. If someone compliments me my ego is bound to blow up like Alec's...wait, is that possible? ;)
Next part, next weekend. (Seriously this time.)