Disclaimer: If anyone reviews this, could you please tell me if a disclaimer is a necessity at this point? I forgot if I read it was in the FanFiction.net contract.
Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire
"...By the powers invested in me, as justice of the state of Washington I now pronounce you man and wife." The justice seemed to let the dramatic pause linger a little too long by Max and Alec's standards. With a wry smile he said, "You may kiss the bride."
Logan's eyes bugged out to the explosion point while Cindy's "cough" was smothered into her hand. Both Max and Alec froze, sheer terror evidently crossing their faces.
Uh oh.
For some reason, probably due to that same ability causing mothers to go through more than one labor, they had pushed this to the back of their minds, almost completely forgetting about the chore. Slowly, as if the air between them was as thick as molasses, they struggled to turn and face each other.
They had to convince the fearful public, more importantly the trigger-happy authorities, that they were the happy transgenic couple.
Uh oh.
Alec's cover, though quick, was terribly lame, "Uh no thanks judge, you see," he snuffed dramatically, "I have got this bad cold and..." he never finished. He was cut short by two soft hands throwing his face into a chokehold-like vice.
Plus a set of warm, though unwilling, lips.
Two muffled screams seemed to echo across Post-Pulse Seattle, startling two petrified transgenics out of the nightmare.
*****
"...by the powers invested in me, as justice of the state of Washington I now pronounce you man and wife." The two horrified transgenics swallowed convulsively. "You may kiss the bride," he finished simply.
Original Cindy must be given credit for muffling her "cough" into her handkerchief. Alec, on the other hand, couldn't. "No thanks your royal justiceness," he chuckled. "Max would as soon kiss me as..." he was cut off...
...by a sharp 3-inch heel pummeling his foot. "Oww!!" he yelped. He whirled on his assailant. "What was that for?" Max, predictably, shot him a blank smile just before passing O.C. a sly one. Her friend just raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and "coughed" again in response. Wheeling her head back to the new - heaven help her - husband, she glimpsed the look of irony on Alec's face just before he smothered it with something resembling his cocky self.
The wedding had been simple: a judge, a maid of honor, and best man were the only one in attendance. O.C., for all her gripes about the whole idea of marriage and monogamy, seemed more than willing to be her boo's maid of honor. And a couple of surreptitious glances from Max said that for all the talk, O.C.'s more feminine side had won out judging by the amount of times she "sneezed". The "sneezes" were convincing, but Max didn't believe the "allergies" masquerade. And although Joshua was Alec's first choice of best man, Sketchy was more than happy to replace him. Joshua still had slight misgivings about being out in so much public. After years confined to the insurmountable walls of Manticore, and the cozy though filthy gutters of Terminal City, too much open space at one time easily overwhelmed Josh.
Amazingly enough, Logan wasn't in attendance. He claimed a massive computer virus had taken the majority of his contact list and due to the never-ending crime supply of Seattle, he needed to reestablish his associates immediately, as in yesterday. Max seemed willing to coerce herself into trusting the blatant lie but the facade didn't fool Alec. At this point in time he was probably working down another Pre-Pulse chardonnay. The sucker might have even worked himself into drinking straight from the bottle. It was already two o'clock. He scrunched up his face, conjuring up a mental image of Logan smashed to the point of not being able to...move his wheelchair, eyes drooping, unintelligible sputterings slipping out about the curveballs of fate. And yet, he was still holding a flute lazily brimming with liquid white-collar "fire". A smirk raced across his face then, not quite clearing his eyes. It sure was a pity. Logan was a good man despite the fact he was so frustrating he could get the Pope to cuss. On Sunday. At mass. During Lent. But he did know what he wanted to do in life, which was somewhat admirable.
No matter how it would destroy his "it's not like that" girlfriend.
Max's surprisingly gentle elbow-jab snapped him out of the reverie. "Let's go Romeo," she said. They made a semi-rush down the "aisle", which consisted of turning around walking approximately 12 feet until they hit the door, taking a left, going down seven spotless stairs, proceeding out the door, and walking another 117 feet to his car. Give or take. God had better know why all these nameless and unimportant details stuck out in the newly married man's mind, because Alec sure didn't. Must be part of a new marriage, the burden of commitment sharpening the senses, even if the whole deal was a farce. It was the inconsequential things that stuck out that day: the rare smell of real leather in the office's chairs, the delicate scuffle in signing a marriage contract, the sunlight filtering through the window that made every piece of dust flush with color, the way O.C. had eyed him shadily throughout the hurried ceremony, the way the simple dress draped over Max's body in a modest though appealing fashion, the new - though guarded as always, somewhat entrusting - radiance bouncing in her eyes when she looked at him.
Like she was doing right now.
Alec undetectably tripped in surprise, quickly unlocking Max's car door and opening it with a cocky show of gallantry. He dramatically raised his hand to escort her in. Alec nearly tripped again when Max gracefully accepted, sliding her palm in his. A quick eyebrow quirk from the bride, an oh-so-charming grin the groom, and a quick flick on the ignition put the "honeymooners" on the road.
"Where is the shindig anyway?" Alec asked.
"Original Cindy said it was back at T.C. Just to warn you, Normal might come after all." She replied.
"Really?" he drawled. "Hmm."
Max tried to smother a wicked grin. "Yes, I am sure he just wants to wish his 'golden boy' the best of luck," heavy emphasis on 'golden'. "But I am sure that after a couple of beers it won't take much to convince him how you will be on the market, perfectly fine, in approximately 17 months, 3 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours and 17 minutes."
After glaring at her for her remark, he retorted, "Hmpf. Normal merely sees me as a valued employee, and a remarkable cage-fighter. If you suffer from the green-eyed monster now Maxie, our marriage won't last those 17 months, 3 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours, and 17 minutes."
Max chuckled and laid her head back against the rest. "16 minutes now," she mumbled.
Another "hmpf' escaped Alec. "I am surprised you weren't counting the seconds anyway."
"32 seconds," she quipped without missing a beat.
"That's disgusting Max."
*****
The 'shin-dig' as Alec lovingly phrased it, was more a celebration of freedom and the fact that Max would get to stay with her closest friends as opposed to any real 'reception'. Max and Alec stopped by his apartment, now theirs, because she had crammed all her stuff into it over the last week. It was funny how the public didn't seem to care about the fact that the two obviously didn't love each other, just so long as they stayed under the same roof. Probably so they could keep better tabs on them. After a quick change of clothes, they headed to the main hall, where the party seemed to be in full swing.
Several minutes later, Sketchy was regaled the couple with his knowledge of useless statistics. "And 60% of newlyweds do not have sex on their wedding night," he boasted, proud to know something Alec didn't.
"That's fascinating Sketch," Alec replied, glancing over to Max. He gave her a quick grin and rolled his eyes. Sketchy was speeding down the highway of intoxication. "Crash and burn in two hours," he whispered.
"You give him that long?" She asked, receiving a smile.
O.C. quickly swiped Max from her groom without apologies and dragged her to a corner to talk about...whatever girls talk about.
"Let me see the ring again," O.C. issued the command, not to be disobeyed. Max almost shyly raised her hand, letting her best friend speculate over it for the millionth time. O.C. had seen it a week before, when Max hauled her to the quaint little jewelry shop where she and Alec had picked it out.
The nerves had obviously gotten to her friend. When she had met Max almost 8 years ago, a body had to force the girl to shave her legs. Behold the wonders of estrogen. After a few years of feminine training, O.C. had gotten the girl to shave her legs, comb her hair, and actually wear girls clothes. But Max was too butch to be fussing over a wedding ring that the man-whore would pass off too some bimbo after a one-night stand induced by several heavy rounds of scotch. When she delivered her verdict on the subject, Max had visibly brightened.
It was only 18 months with the Golden-Boy, for cryin' out loud. If Max got enraged enough, she would just kill him. No, the girl was nervous about something else. She was trying to hide it away. And judging by the way Alec held himself during the ceremony; he felt the vibes too. The Jedi Master glanced between the Padwans. Interesting.
By the time O.C. had changed her thoughts tracks, Mony had joined the duo. She was a beautiful girl, tall, with long legs, full curves, and too-die-for hair. Max eyed her curiously. Mony was bright, charming, and one of the many mad for Alec. She was a sweetheart though, and didn't begrudge Max anything in her new marriage. She kind of reminded Max of Rachel must have been like, always willing to get along with others. Max always felt dumpy compared to the girl, like Mony was some glowing princess and Max was the mere sullen maid. She was fair where Max was coarse. Mony was unbelievably lithe and graceful, full of feminine charm and manicured nails; Max had abrasive edges, more of a hoyden at heart, and still struggled to brush her hair sometimes.
She dared a glance across the room to the man in question. He had always noticed Mony, eyed her appreciatively on occasion, but never went any further than that. Or any of the girls recently. Even though he'd agreed to marry Max out of pity, they had both decided on a definite, business-like partnership. He could date whom he wanted, and so could she. Why didn't he try for Mony? She would be perfect for him. Max lifted her eyebrows speculatively, shrugged her shoulders, and shifted her thoughts back to the woman in question.
"So Max," Mony continued mockingly. "I won't sabotage your marriage over the next year and a half on one condition." Her eyes glimmered with suppressed laughter.
"And what's that?" Max asked.
"You have the inside angle, and with it comes a perilous mission. You have to train Alec. You know, teach him some new tricks."
Max practically choked on her laughter. "New tricks? What, you want Alec housebroken within 18 months? You had better pay a handsome fee."
Mony giggled innocently. "Well, not completely housebroken." She decided. "You can't completely tame the jungle cat," she continued suggestively. "Not that you would want to anyway."
Max let her laughter ring out loudly this time. She threw her arm around the Venus. "I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises. And I have one condition."
"What's that?" her conspirator asked.
"If you are satisfied," she drawled evocatively. "I get to name the first baby."
Laughing again, they shook hands in a business-like manner, sealing the deal.
When Mony swayed off, running to catch up with Gem, Original Cindy leaned towards Max. "What a cutie!" she commented lightly, gauging Max's reaction.
"I know. I always thought she was more of Alec's type as opposed..."
"...opposed to whom?"
"Nobody."
Original Cindy smiled knowingly. She knew Mony better than Max did; she had watched her carefully over the past couple of years. The girl was obviously keen on Alec, and even tried to catch had his attention for awhile. It was similar to one time this girl Nancy, had tried to catch Diamond's eye. O.C. and Diamond hadn't been an item at that time, they still "hated" each other back then. Nancy was just Diamond's type, beautiful and lean, but the tension wasn't between her and Diamond, the tension was on O.C.'s side. Nancy eventually let the then unsuspecting O.C. try her like at finding the "Diamond" in the rough.
Knowingly or not, Max had just witnessed a contestant bow out of a race she had no chance of winning. She had paid her respect to who she felt, with her feminine intuition, would be the eventual winner.
Judging by the way that she gazed at Dix, Mony wasn't too heartbroken anyway.
"Well, well," a voice simpered behind them. "Look what the cat dragged in."
Both the sage and the apprentice sighed simultaneously, exchanging rueful smiles. On the other end of the transgenic beauty scale sat the seductive and petty Minette. She exuded sexuality, exotic and rich, and was never afraid to use her body to her advantage. Basically, she was a tramp. While Mony was loving and open, Minette was cold and spiteful. She hated Max. And since the girl had the nerve to marry the object of her insipid affection, the flames were only stoked higher. Her eyes dismissing Max with a glance, she focused her attention on O.C. "Hey," she said coolly.
"Hello," O.C. responded. Why had the girl even bothered to come over? A quick survey of the room gave her all the answers. Alec was coming this way, a smile forming across his face.
"Hey Max," he whispered grabbing her arm. "Joshua, Luke, Mole, and Dix made a wedding cake. I refuse to be sick alone. We can both hold each other's hair back over the toilet later."
Minette obviously, was enraged. She had not drifted all the way across the room, dodging appreciative eyes and drunken hands to be blown off for the...wife. The word tasted bitter on her tongue. Oh well, she'd get him later. It wouldn't take long for him to wander from an unappreciative spouse.
Cindy watched the heifer stride off, her backside switching disgustingly. The girl was on the warpath.
Her eyes glazed back over to the new couple, straying longer over Alec. As far as she was concerned, Minette was screwed over either way. She didn't get to sage status without keeping her eyes peeled. Alec had unintentionally glanced Max's way too many times. Particularly when she had been laughing with Mony.
It wouldn't take Alec much longer to lose the claim on his own heart.
Thank you for your reviews. You guys made my day!
Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire
"...By the powers invested in me, as justice of the state of Washington I now pronounce you man and wife." The justice seemed to let the dramatic pause linger a little too long by Max and Alec's standards. With a wry smile he said, "You may kiss the bride."
Logan's eyes bugged out to the explosion point while Cindy's "cough" was smothered into her hand. Both Max and Alec froze, sheer terror evidently crossing their faces.
Uh oh.
For some reason, probably due to that same ability causing mothers to go through more than one labor, they had pushed this to the back of their minds, almost completely forgetting about the chore. Slowly, as if the air between them was as thick as molasses, they struggled to turn and face each other.
They had to convince the fearful public, more importantly the trigger-happy authorities, that they were the happy transgenic couple.
Uh oh.
Alec's cover, though quick, was terribly lame, "Uh no thanks judge, you see," he snuffed dramatically, "I have got this bad cold and..." he never finished. He was cut short by two soft hands throwing his face into a chokehold-like vice.
Plus a set of warm, though unwilling, lips.
Two muffled screams seemed to echo across Post-Pulse Seattle, startling two petrified transgenics out of the nightmare.
*****
"...by the powers invested in me, as justice of the state of Washington I now pronounce you man and wife." The two horrified transgenics swallowed convulsively. "You may kiss the bride," he finished simply.
Original Cindy must be given credit for muffling her "cough" into her handkerchief. Alec, on the other hand, couldn't. "No thanks your royal justiceness," he chuckled. "Max would as soon kiss me as..." he was cut off...
...by a sharp 3-inch heel pummeling his foot. "Oww!!" he yelped. He whirled on his assailant. "What was that for?" Max, predictably, shot him a blank smile just before passing O.C. a sly one. Her friend just raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and "coughed" again in response. Wheeling her head back to the new - heaven help her - husband, she glimpsed the look of irony on Alec's face just before he smothered it with something resembling his cocky self.
The wedding had been simple: a judge, a maid of honor, and best man were the only one in attendance. O.C., for all her gripes about the whole idea of marriage and monogamy, seemed more than willing to be her boo's maid of honor. And a couple of surreptitious glances from Max said that for all the talk, O.C.'s more feminine side had won out judging by the amount of times she "sneezed". The "sneezes" were convincing, but Max didn't believe the "allergies" masquerade. And although Joshua was Alec's first choice of best man, Sketchy was more than happy to replace him. Joshua still had slight misgivings about being out in so much public. After years confined to the insurmountable walls of Manticore, and the cozy though filthy gutters of Terminal City, too much open space at one time easily overwhelmed Josh.
Amazingly enough, Logan wasn't in attendance. He claimed a massive computer virus had taken the majority of his contact list and due to the never-ending crime supply of Seattle, he needed to reestablish his associates immediately, as in yesterday. Max seemed willing to coerce herself into trusting the blatant lie but the facade didn't fool Alec. At this point in time he was probably working down another Pre-Pulse chardonnay. The sucker might have even worked himself into drinking straight from the bottle. It was already two o'clock. He scrunched up his face, conjuring up a mental image of Logan smashed to the point of not being able to...move his wheelchair, eyes drooping, unintelligible sputterings slipping out about the curveballs of fate. And yet, he was still holding a flute lazily brimming with liquid white-collar "fire". A smirk raced across his face then, not quite clearing his eyes. It sure was a pity. Logan was a good man despite the fact he was so frustrating he could get the Pope to cuss. On Sunday. At mass. During Lent. But he did know what he wanted to do in life, which was somewhat admirable.
No matter how it would destroy his "it's not like that" girlfriend.
Max's surprisingly gentle elbow-jab snapped him out of the reverie. "Let's go Romeo," she said. They made a semi-rush down the "aisle", which consisted of turning around walking approximately 12 feet until they hit the door, taking a left, going down seven spotless stairs, proceeding out the door, and walking another 117 feet to his car. Give or take. God had better know why all these nameless and unimportant details stuck out in the newly married man's mind, because Alec sure didn't. Must be part of a new marriage, the burden of commitment sharpening the senses, even if the whole deal was a farce. It was the inconsequential things that stuck out that day: the rare smell of real leather in the office's chairs, the delicate scuffle in signing a marriage contract, the sunlight filtering through the window that made every piece of dust flush with color, the way O.C. had eyed him shadily throughout the hurried ceremony, the way the simple dress draped over Max's body in a modest though appealing fashion, the new - though guarded as always, somewhat entrusting - radiance bouncing in her eyes when she looked at him.
Like she was doing right now.
Alec undetectably tripped in surprise, quickly unlocking Max's car door and opening it with a cocky show of gallantry. He dramatically raised his hand to escort her in. Alec nearly tripped again when Max gracefully accepted, sliding her palm in his. A quick eyebrow quirk from the bride, an oh-so-charming grin the groom, and a quick flick on the ignition put the "honeymooners" on the road.
"Where is the shindig anyway?" Alec asked.
"Original Cindy said it was back at T.C. Just to warn you, Normal might come after all." She replied.
"Really?" he drawled. "Hmm."
Max tried to smother a wicked grin. "Yes, I am sure he just wants to wish his 'golden boy' the best of luck," heavy emphasis on 'golden'. "But I am sure that after a couple of beers it won't take much to convince him how you will be on the market, perfectly fine, in approximately 17 months, 3 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours and 17 minutes."
After glaring at her for her remark, he retorted, "Hmpf. Normal merely sees me as a valued employee, and a remarkable cage-fighter. If you suffer from the green-eyed monster now Maxie, our marriage won't last those 17 months, 3 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours, and 17 minutes."
Max chuckled and laid her head back against the rest. "16 minutes now," she mumbled.
Another "hmpf' escaped Alec. "I am surprised you weren't counting the seconds anyway."
"32 seconds," she quipped without missing a beat.
"That's disgusting Max."
*****
The 'shin-dig' as Alec lovingly phrased it, was more a celebration of freedom and the fact that Max would get to stay with her closest friends as opposed to any real 'reception'. Max and Alec stopped by his apartment, now theirs, because she had crammed all her stuff into it over the last week. It was funny how the public didn't seem to care about the fact that the two obviously didn't love each other, just so long as they stayed under the same roof. Probably so they could keep better tabs on them. After a quick change of clothes, they headed to the main hall, where the party seemed to be in full swing.
Several minutes later, Sketchy was regaled the couple with his knowledge of useless statistics. "And 60% of newlyweds do not have sex on their wedding night," he boasted, proud to know something Alec didn't.
"That's fascinating Sketch," Alec replied, glancing over to Max. He gave her a quick grin and rolled his eyes. Sketchy was speeding down the highway of intoxication. "Crash and burn in two hours," he whispered.
"You give him that long?" She asked, receiving a smile.
O.C. quickly swiped Max from her groom without apologies and dragged her to a corner to talk about...whatever girls talk about.
"Let me see the ring again," O.C. issued the command, not to be disobeyed. Max almost shyly raised her hand, letting her best friend speculate over it for the millionth time. O.C. had seen it a week before, when Max hauled her to the quaint little jewelry shop where she and Alec had picked it out.
The nerves had obviously gotten to her friend. When she had met Max almost 8 years ago, a body had to force the girl to shave her legs. Behold the wonders of estrogen. After a few years of feminine training, O.C. had gotten the girl to shave her legs, comb her hair, and actually wear girls clothes. But Max was too butch to be fussing over a wedding ring that the man-whore would pass off too some bimbo after a one-night stand induced by several heavy rounds of scotch. When she delivered her verdict on the subject, Max had visibly brightened.
It was only 18 months with the Golden-Boy, for cryin' out loud. If Max got enraged enough, she would just kill him. No, the girl was nervous about something else. She was trying to hide it away. And judging by the way Alec held himself during the ceremony; he felt the vibes too. The Jedi Master glanced between the Padwans. Interesting.
By the time O.C. had changed her thoughts tracks, Mony had joined the duo. She was a beautiful girl, tall, with long legs, full curves, and too-die-for hair. Max eyed her curiously. Mony was bright, charming, and one of the many mad for Alec. She was a sweetheart though, and didn't begrudge Max anything in her new marriage. She kind of reminded Max of Rachel must have been like, always willing to get along with others. Max always felt dumpy compared to the girl, like Mony was some glowing princess and Max was the mere sullen maid. She was fair where Max was coarse. Mony was unbelievably lithe and graceful, full of feminine charm and manicured nails; Max had abrasive edges, more of a hoyden at heart, and still struggled to brush her hair sometimes.
She dared a glance across the room to the man in question. He had always noticed Mony, eyed her appreciatively on occasion, but never went any further than that. Or any of the girls recently. Even though he'd agreed to marry Max out of pity, they had both decided on a definite, business-like partnership. He could date whom he wanted, and so could she. Why didn't he try for Mony? She would be perfect for him. Max lifted her eyebrows speculatively, shrugged her shoulders, and shifted her thoughts back to the woman in question.
"So Max," Mony continued mockingly. "I won't sabotage your marriage over the next year and a half on one condition." Her eyes glimmered with suppressed laughter.
"And what's that?" Max asked.
"You have the inside angle, and with it comes a perilous mission. You have to train Alec. You know, teach him some new tricks."
Max practically choked on her laughter. "New tricks? What, you want Alec housebroken within 18 months? You had better pay a handsome fee."
Mony giggled innocently. "Well, not completely housebroken." She decided. "You can't completely tame the jungle cat," she continued suggestively. "Not that you would want to anyway."
Max let her laughter ring out loudly this time. She threw her arm around the Venus. "I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises. And I have one condition."
"What's that?" her conspirator asked.
"If you are satisfied," she drawled evocatively. "I get to name the first baby."
Laughing again, they shook hands in a business-like manner, sealing the deal.
When Mony swayed off, running to catch up with Gem, Original Cindy leaned towards Max. "What a cutie!" she commented lightly, gauging Max's reaction.
"I know. I always thought she was more of Alec's type as opposed..."
"...opposed to whom?"
"Nobody."
Original Cindy smiled knowingly. She knew Mony better than Max did; she had watched her carefully over the past couple of years. The girl was obviously keen on Alec, and even tried to catch had his attention for awhile. It was similar to one time this girl Nancy, had tried to catch Diamond's eye. O.C. and Diamond hadn't been an item at that time, they still "hated" each other back then. Nancy was just Diamond's type, beautiful and lean, but the tension wasn't between her and Diamond, the tension was on O.C.'s side. Nancy eventually let the then unsuspecting O.C. try her like at finding the "Diamond" in the rough.
Knowingly or not, Max had just witnessed a contestant bow out of a race she had no chance of winning. She had paid her respect to who she felt, with her feminine intuition, would be the eventual winner.
Judging by the way that she gazed at Dix, Mony wasn't too heartbroken anyway.
"Well, well," a voice simpered behind them. "Look what the cat dragged in."
Both the sage and the apprentice sighed simultaneously, exchanging rueful smiles. On the other end of the transgenic beauty scale sat the seductive and petty Minette. She exuded sexuality, exotic and rich, and was never afraid to use her body to her advantage. Basically, she was a tramp. While Mony was loving and open, Minette was cold and spiteful. She hated Max. And since the girl had the nerve to marry the object of her insipid affection, the flames were only stoked higher. Her eyes dismissing Max with a glance, she focused her attention on O.C. "Hey," she said coolly.
"Hello," O.C. responded. Why had the girl even bothered to come over? A quick survey of the room gave her all the answers. Alec was coming this way, a smile forming across his face.
"Hey Max," he whispered grabbing her arm. "Joshua, Luke, Mole, and Dix made a wedding cake. I refuse to be sick alone. We can both hold each other's hair back over the toilet later."
Minette obviously, was enraged. She had not drifted all the way across the room, dodging appreciative eyes and drunken hands to be blown off for the...wife. The word tasted bitter on her tongue. Oh well, she'd get him later. It wouldn't take long for him to wander from an unappreciative spouse.
Cindy watched the heifer stride off, her backside switching disgustingly. The girl was on the warpath.
Her eyes glazed back over to the new couple, straying longer over Alec. As far as she was concerned, Minette was screwed over either way. She didn't get to sage status without keeping her eyes peeled. Alec had unintentionally glanced Max's way too many times. Particularly when she had been laughing with Mony.
It wouldn't take Alec much longer to lose the claim on his own heart.
Thank you for your reviews. You guys made my day!