Even Though It's Painful… Always.
By Me!!!
Disclaimer: I never did own FY. If I ever owned it, it will be more perverse!!! ^^;;; I only own the characters, Nokurai Toorima, Taimatsu Heren, Junsui Keito, and Fujimiya Michiru.
Author's Note: This is the second version of the first chapter. I want to say sorry to those who reviewed me before. Actually, nothing changed. I happened to spot some grammatical errors and my friend (sakurabaka sagara) helped me in editing it. THANK YOU!!! Anyway, the first few chapters of the story are about a certain girl, and not a character of Fushigi Yuugi. But as the story continues, this certain girl goes to the Shinjinotensho, wherein the FY plot takes place. Please R+R!!! Hope you enjoy the fic!!!
Contributor/s: Sakurabaka Sagara.
Doko na no…?
Walking in an endless darkness…
Hearing only my footsteps and my curious breathing in the sinister world…
Cat-like bloody eyes darted from each direction…
"Watashi doko…?" I, again, questioned. Pushing back my auburn locks, the echoes of steps are again heard.
Then, an icy chill ran up through my spine like an electric jolt passing through power lines, crimson eyes began to look tensed.
A feeling that's so overwhelming…
So intense…
What is this?
Stepping a right foot forward, a vivid color of white quickly engulfed me. I shut my eyes close as I was dragged out of the shadows of the unknown dimension.
Suddenly, feeling easy, comfortable…
I once again regained consciousness of my surroundings, and then saw brightly orange fire dancing around me as if they were…
…alive.
I walked, stepping on tiny flames along my way.
Funny.
Weird.
No pain was surging through me.
As suddenly as the fire appeared, a voice was heard.
So near as if it was whispering to me…
Murmuring the words that made my eyes widen in shock…
"Hitori ja nai…"
An irritating beeping sound woke me up from the dream that kept bothering me. My hand quickly wandered to the lampshade table, looking for a thing that's needed to be destroyed… badly. Grasping it, my pointer finger pressed down the button. Silence reined the room.
I looked back at my alarm clock as I sat up on the edge of the mattress, thinking if I would really break it apart. My stomach protested, and that answered my thoughts. Some other time… I grinned, slipping away from the bed.
Chapter 1: Zettai Unmei (The Absolute Destiny)
Ohayo, minna! The name's Nokurai Toorima, a freshman here in St. Paul University. 18 years of age and I just finished my debut a couple of months ago. I'm taking Fine Arts.
I'm living at an apartment all to myself! Quite independent huh? The truth is, both of my parents are working abroad as successful doctors and I was usually left all alone. My two brothers are unworthy to be with so I persuaded my parents in living here… and succeeded in doing so.
The apartment space I've rented has the same rooms as an ordinary house should have: a kitchen, a living room, a dining room, a bathroom, and a couple of bedrooms. 1 bedroom is for me while the other one if sort of like a guest room. Right now, that room is full due to the reason that my friends slept here. One of them is sleeping here.
I'll tell you about them later, if I get a chance to.
But even though I live separated to my siblings, my parents are still responsible for my bills and financial needs.
I'm not that independent. ^.^
Reaching the kitchen, I swing open refrigerator, pulled out a carton of milk and took a healthy swig. Delicious! My mind said, as my mouth continuously gulped down the contents of the container. As I felt it lightened a bit, I returned to its rightful place then walked silently towards my beloved gadget in the whole wide world: the computer.
Before sitting on the cushioned chair, I glanced around the room. Some people are just sooo lazy! I sighed to myself, looking at the lightly snoring Heren.
I reached for the switch and as quietly as I could, I opened it. I suddenly noticed the speaker was on… and the volume was turned to the maximum! I swiftly grabbed the dial but I was too late.
Due to the booming sound it made, my friend woke up. I looked at her with my two ruby eyes pleading for mercy. Too much of evaluating someone as being lazy. She just sighed and said, "You're still a computer geek." She stated before strolling towards her bag to get her organizer. As usual, I didn't react as to her declaration.
"I'm aware of that, Heren-chan." I shot back. It was true anyway. Do you expect any normal college student to fiddle through her computer every morning? You might imagine how much the electric company charges me. The girl with azure hair squinted at me before going back to what she's doing. Routinely, she always arranged her schedule everyday. And I mean EVERYDAY. Did you ever see a person who makes a schedule a week before the date, or even a schedule for the month!
Then, a web page suddenly popped out from the screen. Oops, I completely forgot that I'm already on-line. In the search box of a certain portal, my fingers typed the words "meaning of dreams" and pressed enter.
Looking blankly at the monitor, my attention went to the vision I have this morning.
Hitori ja nai…"You're not alone." I mumbled the translated version. Those were the last words the mysterious voice said. What does it mean?
Why does those words seem so… real?
As if it true?
Am I really not alone?
Of course I have my family, relatives, and friends so I'm not really all by myself.
But…
"Hello! Earth to Toorima! Earth to Toorima!" A voice interrupted my musings, and a hand was going up and down as if it tries to break a trance. I tilted my head upwards and saw Heren once more, giving me the what-the-hell-is-happening-to-you look.
A weak smile was pasted on my lips, "It's nothing, really. I'm just wondering about the meaning of dreams, that's all." I reasoned, even though I was wondering the meaning of MY dream. "What do you want anyway?"
She gave another look. With a small frown, a raised eyebrow and arms crossed, I bet she's giving me an expression that can be translated into a simple sentence: I don't believe you. She's not convinced.
My right hand fiddled through my hair, thinking what would I say.
A lie?
No. You'll get her even more worried.
The truth?
She might think I'm a little girl still scared of the monster that lives under the bed.
Then, what?
Idea!
"Actually…" I started in a serious manner. "I've been having the same dream that kept bothering me for weeks now." I took a glimpse of her facial expression. She's listening.
Good.
"And these dreams have something similar to one another, a similarity for short. Passion is a factor."
"Fire-filled obsession."
"Heat melting satisfaction into the night."
I saw her face reddened a bit. She's getting the point.
"Fierce movements of lustrous skins."
"E---"
A whack in the head interrupted me from finishing my sentence, followed by series of strikes and light punches. "HENTAI NO BAKA!!!" she shouted as she collared me. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO PERVERSE AT THIS TIME OF MOOD?! I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND YOU GIVE A STUPID EXPLANATION!!!"
"I thought you wanted to know what's my dream all about!" I explained with a grin.
"OOOHHH! YOU'RE HOPELESS!!!"
After that statement, our room door opens with force. Someone's at the door with a familiar battle aura. Uh-oh, time to scram off the scene, I thought as the dangerous blonde girl set her foot down the carpeted floor.
"Who, in this room, wants her vocal chords to be ripped away from her throat?" She said in a tone of a Reaper.
I pointed at my roommate. "She's your suspect, Keito-san. I'll be taking a bath now. Ja!" I quickly scampered away from the room, not wanting to see what "diabolic" torture she's thinking. Closing the door behind me, I heaved out a relieved sigh. What a morning! I talked to myself as I heard a series of curses and crashes from the place where I escaped.
Even though I "own" the room, I don't want to interfere anything that involves Keito-san.
* * * * *
When my comrades left, I locked up the door behind me. I started running and descended three floors. Reaching the parking lot, I unlocked the door of my red Toyota Lexus™. Really, it's my childhood dream to own such luxurious car, I silently recollected while I ran my hand along its gentle features.
The engine gained life.
I played my favorite J-pop songs as I go out of the parking space in reverse. This is life! A smile appeared on my energetic face.
No worries.
No stupid dream.
No anything!
Simply a moment worth relaxing to.
But suddenly, I heard a mystifying song playing on the speakers.
Strange.
I never heard of this before. But why the singer's voice is so recognizable?
"Hitori ja nai…"I rubbed off that thought away from my mind and focused it on the song.
The melody was soft and gentle like the wind found only in mountains.
Fresh.
Uplifting.
Yet, it's so…
Sad.
Abandoned.
As if it was looking for someone.
Someone who didn't return the same emotions…
Emotions filled with
…love.
Out of curiosity, I took a glance on the CD player screen.
The title read there was:
Setsunakutemo… Zutto.
Even Though It's Painful… Always"Someone has to do some explanation today." I said, speeding up a little along the hi-way.
* * * * *
St. Paul University…
As usual, I'm slumped on my sit yet still listening "attentively" on the teacher's yakking. Oh man, college life is waaaay too different from high school. You know, the 1-5 grade marks, different rooms to explore, different schedules and breaks. But a certain relationship is still maintained here in college.
Teachers are still the BOSS.
Students will always be the EMPLOYERS.
Unless, one of the two characters get along.
You get the point.
Speaking of students, where is that Michiru anyway?
She better clear out things about that weird song in the CD she gave to my 2 years ago.
"Ms. Nokurai!"
"Hai?"
"Pay attention!"
"Hai, sensai!"
I heard a group of boys snicker behind me. No one is DARING enough to mock the Akuma!
Bloody red eyes shot them a death glare as I take my seat, clearly saying the message they didn't want to know. That would make them shiver whenever they see me. I'm gonna make this semester HELL to you!!!
They gulped as they raised their begging eyes to me, asking for forgiveness.
That only works for angels like Heren.
Not on devils like me.
Giving them an evil grin, I faced the green blackboard once more, causing the boys to think of ways to get the mercy out of me.
Childish.
Giving flowers.
Buying meals.
Texting non-stop.
Many have already tried those methods.
But none of them seem to work.
Why?
Because I make sure that they learn a moral lesson after this. The hard way. I scribbled something on a piece of paper and passed it to them.
They might be thinking that I've forgiven them
Wrong.
I saw a few horrified faces as pairs of eyes read the words written in black ink.
"You shouldn't pick on to someone that you can't seem to handle."
"Good luck! : )"
* * * * *
Well, after a long search around school, I finally stumbled on Michiru in her dorm room. Sketching Mother Nature's exotic beauty outside her window before it fades. I greeted her with a bonk on her head and a bunch of curses. The purpose of my visit came right after.
She simply said: "It's just a hidden track, so don't make a big fuss about it."
Surprised crimsons met relaxed jades.
"Sou ka… I thought it was something else…" My question was finally answered. My friend seemed to be thinking, drinking her tea in peace.
"It was supposed to be a surprise."
"Yeah right, it surprised me alright."
She looked at me when she heard the sarcastic answer from me. "Oh, you thought it was something to do with your haunting hallucination."
I carefully settled down the goblet down. "It is not a hallucination." I uttered.
"More like a vision of…"
Of what?
The future?
The future of oneself?
Of me?
"Or a vision of one's absolute destiny?" I heard her mumble, words seemed to continue my string of thoughts. I saw her with closed eyes, still drinking.
What are they for?
What do they mean?
She told me one time that dreams have many reasons.
A hidden fantasy.
An escape from reality.
A reason.
A purpose of life.
A mission.
Or
The upcoming event.
"You're freaking out." She blandly said.
I didn't mind her, as usual. I heaved out a sigh. "But even though I'm being haunted by an unknown force, life is sure boring here. I mean, I'm hungry for an adventure!" I said with all my might, raising my fist in the air. "I imagined myself fighting ferocious mythical dragons of the deepest sea, climbing the never-reached mountains! Calming the savage beast unknown to man!"
Michiru smiled at me.
Just like a kid, she thought.
It's been a while since I saw her in this mood.
After the dream, she was never the same energetic Toorima.
Maybe…
Just maybe…
"Ne Toorima, since I couldn't attend your debut couple of months ago," she stopped my imaginative quest, "I would give you a present tomorrow. Would that be okay?"
I eyed her for a few seconds. Whenever she brings up something like that, consequences always follow. Just like what happen when she gave me a belated Christmas present: an ancient doll from her Grandma. It turned out to have a spirit lingering inside it.
What happened?
The Christmas present in a cute blue kimono ran after me with a samurai sword on its hand!
Of course, she would give me the angelic face (plus the imaginary halo floating above her head) and those 'puppy eyes' to get my mouth to say yes.
And it will forever work.
Poor me.
"Okay, okay fine!" I said in mock surrender. She gave me a quick hug before pushing me towards the door.
"Time to go home, Sayonara!"
She closed the door, leaving me totally speechless.
I did what my feet bid me: go straight to the parking lot and drive all the way home. But I can't shake the uneasy ambiance. Micchi's just going to give me a present, what's the scary part there?
But why did her lips form an unusual grin when she said the word 'present'?
Continued…
* * * * *
I know it sucks because the main character isn't involved in FY. As I said before, the FY plot will be filled in as the story progresses, so please be patient! In the meantime, please review…
Flames or not, I'm glad to get any criticism from a reader!
By the way, you'll be able to know who's the FY character just by the name of the fic!