Even Though It's Painful… Always
By Nokurai To-orima
Disclaimer: The usual blah, yakitty-yak… you get the point. I don't own FY. If I own it, I wouldn't be making this…
Author's Notes: As usual, I'm going to apologize for the lateness of this chapter due to unexpected circumstances along the month (again!). Please bear with me. Domo.
Spoiler Alert: The following contents of the story contain spoilers from the manga and anime series, which also includes the OAVs. Some circumstances connected to Genrou's Den (Novel of Tasuki by Yuu Watase) and Eikou Den (Fushigi Yuugi Gaiden by Nishizaki Megumi-sensei) will eventually show up… well, probably.
"Seiryuu…?"
He turned his back on me, "Do you see that Dragon over there?"
He took a step aside, letting me see a clear view of what he's talking about. A glimpse of its green scales flooded my mind of Michiru's gift.
Yes.
The artwork and this portrait.
Both are similar…
"You see," he started, "In our world, each empire have their own god to worship. Genbu for the North, Byakko for the West, Suzaku for the South and Seiryuu for the East."
So…
A supreme being does exist…
Or is it just a mere manipulation plot to control one's faith and beliefs?
He then faced me, "Well then, are you sent here by Seiryuu?"
"I told you that I—"
I was cut off by the sudden illumination of blue lights and strong currents of wind enveloping my body. Curtains ripped away from the clutches of its holder, while fine weaved carpets begin to coil up from the floor.
How dare you question her presence?!
Scarlet pools broaden as the tone of the voice became recognizable to my ears. I searched for the source, meeting eyes filled with fear from the soldiers holding helplessly unto their weapons, the Emperor immobilized to the floor.
My messenger summoned her from the other world…
Was I…
Summoned?
By a messenger…?
Michiru?
Serve her well, or suffer the consequences…
The soldiers and the Emperor uttered a trembling affirmation. After that, the wind subsided and so did the vibrant aura. They looked at me with fear filled eyes, yet respected me as they bowed before me. I gave a weak smile, but I feel my strength flowing dramatically fast out of my body.
Once again, I was consumed by the shadows.
Chapter 4: Asu E no Yuuki (Courage Towards Tomorrow)
Puffs of clouds becomes one with the blue sky. The cool breeze rustles through the lushness of trees and grasses across the hill, also playing with the cherry pink hair of a certain girl in pigtails.
"To-orima!" the little girl shouted as she ran through the grasslands of the horizon, bringing a basket full of vibrant-colored flowers.
"What is it, Micchi?" I said, looking at her from the top of the hill.
"Hora! Look what I've got!" she proclaimed, emerald eyes sparkling vibrantly as the sun.
The sight of the floras brightened the face of To-orima's as well. "Suke! They're pretty! Where you got them?"
She giggled, "There's a bed of flowers just beside our home. My mom picked them for me and said to give it to you."
"Really?! Domo arigatou!" I returned a sweet smile, "Want to make a crown of flowers?"
"Hai!"
Excited hands look through the woven basket overflowing with nature's priceless beauties. I hummed a nursery rhyme as I connected these things.
"Ne," Michiru broke my song, "before my mom gave me these, she told me that we wouldn't stay friends forever…" forlorn was the expression of her face.
Enthusiasm was lost.
"She's right, we can't be friends forever…"
"Naze?"
A smirk slowly formed on my lips, "Because… we'll be best friends!"
A sudden relief spread across her features. "Really?"
"Hai!" I affirmed.
"Pinky promise?"
"Pinky promise."
Yes.
Best friends forever…
* * * * *
The early morning light, diffused through the parchment window coverings, opened my eyes. As usual, I sat up very slowly, recovering my mind and myself.
Oh great.
Just great.
Another freaky dream.
But…
Why during my childhood days?
I think, and think, and think until I couldn't take any more. "When will you ever end…" I sighed out, looking expressionlessly on the wooden ceiling. Peace has settled in the spacious room. Such quiet times like this usually makes me think of the things I wished to forget.
Such as…
Such as…
What would you do if someone you know happens to be not the real person?"
"Someone who's responsible for something you feared?"
"Someone who manipulated your dreams and turned them into nightmares?"
"Someone who is guilty about the things happening to you?"
"Someone who is no other…
Than your best friend."
"Michiru…"
I never knew you, did I?
To be called as a best friend…
Is it REALLY worth it?
I may know you well enough, but…
Is it really enough?
Am I worth it…?
Best friends forever?
…
I promised…
Yet I feel so…
Undeserving.
Meaningless.
It feels like the word 'best friend' is just a title.
A need to know that one is there.
Just a name to exist.
"Ohayo gozaimasu… anou…" an attendant greeted out of nowhere.
"Watashi wa Nokurai To-orima desu." I replied, drowsiness still evident in my voice. "Where am I?" I suddenly asked. Due to deep thinking, I didn't seemed to be aware that I was sitting on a king-sized bed with soft pillows and what seems to be like a comforter. Translucent fabrics covers each side of the bed, making it isolated from that looks like a five-star hotel's room.
"H-hai. Anou, you are now at the guest quarters of the palace. Some servants are currently fixing your personal room mistress Nokurai." She informed me, getting something from a closet designed with gold dragons and such.
It seems that I'll be staying here for a while ne…
"Here are your clothes, mistress."
"Please, just call me Nokurai. I'm not used in such formality." I said. Speaking about clothes… "Anou.. Do you know where…"
She giggled, she seemed to have a talent to do that. "The strange gadget? It's with the Emperor, Nokurai-san. I think he was oddly confused or curious with such a thing."
Sou ka… To bring technology in an ancient period will be hard to deal with…
"And after you dress up, please meet with the Emperor. He wanted to see you." Those were her departing words before she left the room all to myself.
* * * * *
Wrinkles began to deepen.
Eyebrows cross more.
Series of blabbering and theories were heard.
Until someone spoke up, "What is that thing, Emperor?" An old man dressed in blue and green dress pointed at the gadget the Emperor was holding. "And this string that seems to fit around your neck? Do you think…?"
"Do you think its kind of an evil magic?" someone raised up.
"Impossible!" The Emperor contradicted, "How could Seiryuu appeared in her last night if she was evil?"
Another chatter began. "Don't you think that that thing can create an illusion? Such as the Seiryuu god?"
The auburn pools of the Emperor gave a defiant look, "Do you defy our god, o Wise man?!"
"Uh…"
"Ohayo!" I greeted in the doorway. Pairs of confused and scared eyes greeted me. Their stillness infected my bones and voice. This is making me nervous all of the sudden, "A… anou… Nokurai To-orima at your service." I gave a quick bow before smiling.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Mistress Nokurai." They all greeted, giving me the goose bumps of being called 'Mistress'.
"Hora! That's my Diskman!" With great excitement, I approached the Emperor to retrieve my gadget. Before I could snatch it away from him, he asked, "What is this?"
My face fell, "In our world, this is called a Discman."
"Discman?" He repeated, seemingly fascinated by the word.
"Hai. This is also known as the CD player. You can play your favorite songs here." I enlighten them. I opened the lid, which made some gasped, and pulled out the CD Michiru gave me. "This is a CD, where all the songs you like to hear are stored.
And the song that haunted me…
I heard audible chattering and questions filling the Emperor's throne room. I inserted the CD back where it belongs and close the lid once more.
"What is that… Discman for? Does it create magic?"
And in that day, I ended up explaining to them what the future looks like. Such curious people are they…
* * * * *
Stars seemed to find their way to sparkle their light through the shadowed world of the sky. The moon is giving radiance to the world of darkness below, guiding any lost soul on the forest or a frightened kitten looking for its mother.
"What a day!" I sighed out loud. Explaining and talking about my world turned out to be a complicated subject to tackle. Elaborating such events to these ancient people seemed to be like explaining Geometry to a pre-school student. And they expect me to tell more stories about it tomorrow!
I walked along a small, secluded garden and sat on large, flat-topped boulders that had been placed gracefully among ornamental shrubs and flowers. A crooked old cherry tree bloomed above me, and its pale pink petals floated soundlessly onto my hair. A spring with water lilies swimming above them seems to find a way to relax my toes for the moment of lone.
It's been a while since I was alone.
I looked eagerly at my reflection below me. I saw a girl dressed in azure silk robe, embroidered with rich colors of pink, violet and silver spirals. She had deep, red eyes that crammed with mystery and darkness. My schoolmates will properly described it as 'red as the blood dripping out from fresh flesh'. Short dark brown strands of hair almost covered the eyes while the longer ones seemed to find their way along the shoulder.
I watched what it seems to be a stranger from below until I heard two people buzzing something behind the bushes.
"Do you think we need to report this to them?"
"About what? The new priestess of Seiryuu?"
"Yes, she seemed to be a threat to our country. When she agreed to become the priestess, Kutuo will surely gain courage to attack Konan."
"Then, we should report this immediately!"
"What report?"
"Gaaaahh!!" Both of them shouted in surprise.
I gave them a grin of innocence, "Hello!" I greeted to pale Kutuo soldiers gasping for air. I can't make out their faces because of the darkness of the night.
They both bowed to me, "Konbanwa, Seiryuu no Miko."
"Are? Seiryuu no Miko? No, no, no, no… I'm not the Seiryuu no Miko around here." I explained to them. Soldiers around here appear to be told that I'm the new priestess of Seiryuu. I just offered my services to the Kutuo, what's with this Miko business? "Look, I'm just going to help Kutuo but I'm not involved in being the Seiryuu no Miko you're talking about."
"But the commander told us that you're…"
"I am not…" I gave them a glare that would tell them that if they won't quiet down, I'd eat them. "What are you talking about earlier? About a report an such."
The two stiffened, like they were hiding something, "A-anou…" one stammered, "W-we're talking about… about… about what will be writing for our report tomorrow."
"Ah… ah yes! Of course! W-we need t-to jot down such occurrences and submit it to our commander… yes, that's it!" Another affirmed.
I looked at them quizzically, "Really? Including Konan being home country?"
They looked pale after the statement. I tried to run but my left arm was caught and a cloth with a strange aroma was covered my nose. Feeling dizzy by the minute, I closed my eyes to start my eternal slumber once more.
Seeing that the sleeping chemical affected the girl, one 'Kutuo' soldier carried her. "Oh shit, she found out!" One of them freaked out in a whisper.
"We better bring her back to the headquarters."
One gulped, "Do you think Genrou will like this?"
After that, they ran quietly out of the palace, with the foreigner with them.
* * * * *
Once again…
Again and again…
I stand alone in the world of black.
"When will you ever end…" I questioned, looking for the answer in the immense space as I sat down on what appears to be the floor. I tucked in my legs close to my body, wrapping my arms around it. I let my head rest on my knees, while my thoughts wandered somewhere in the depths of my soul…
Seeking comfort…
However, I couldn't find any.
Because I was scared.
I was never strong.
Being an akuma was just a mask to protect my fragile heart and soul.
It's not really the real me…
Unrestrained, tears dripped on my pale skin. I felt darkness' cold embrace surrounding me once more. I wanted to be comforted…
Badly.
Even Michiru isn't capable of doing it…
She's… so far away.
"Isn't anyone there?" I mumbled out, desperately asking.
But I knew, I was alone.
I was destined to be alone.
Letting this suffering consume me until I suffocate from its grasp.
"Hey, you over there!" A rough voice shouted from behind.
With a little relief and apprehension, "Who's there?" I asked.
Continued…
* * * * *
AT LAST!!!
I finished this mental blocker chapter. ^. ^ I'm so HAPPY!!!
And my review classes are over!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad that's over! But yet, classes seemed to start and the entrance exams of different universities seemed to look like monsters! Gaah! They're going to eat my brain!!! *eherm* … sorry about that. I tend to exaggerate sometimes.
To tell you the truth, this chapter was not on my mind… well, just some parts… It happened to pop out from my mind but I couldn't express it too well, so I beg for your humble forgiveness.
I'm sorry if the story is filled with dreams sequences. It's really an important part of the plot, but I feel that it's too much. If you're bothered by it, please tell me so I can lessen them.
A "few" words for my reviewers:
To Sakurabaka Sagara: As usual, you're always the first reviewer on my story and being the editor, I really appreciate your help. And mind you, I couldn't compete with Elea's workmanship when it comes to literature. She's way too good!!! I can be considered as her follower but not in the same level. Whehehehehe… . By the way, I just noticed that in every chapter, you have a favorite line? I'm not that great when it comes to writing!
To Otaku Pitcher: Thanks for elaborating… it seems that I don't know about those terms you people use. Rest assured that the main character isn't under Mary Sueism culture. Quite, but not perfect… ^^;;; Love the story you send me, I love it!!! Heheheheh… if ever you have time, please send me the second chapter okay? I'm looking forward to it! Actually, I'm blaming myself for not posting this up sooner so I could send this to you!
To Kittychan: Hello! Thanks for reviewing again! As you can see, I reviewed the your story entitled "Angel in Disguise" but up to chapter 4 only because I finished my internet card, hehehe… gomen nasai! . As soon as I refilled my account, I'll be reviewing you once again, okay. Thank you!
To Ren-chan: What's with the new nickname? Anyway, thanks for the Furuba VCD. Hopefully, I could make a Kyo x Tohru fic… as soon as I finished mine, hehehe. .
To LanaPanther: Wow! Sugoi ne! Another reader! Yatta! Thanks for spending your time reading my fic! I appreciate it very much. Arigatou! I'll try to review your works if my schedule isn't that tight, since examinations are coming up. Once again, thank you and please support this fic, okay?
To Asha: You're right… Nowadays, FY authors seemed to be more interested in new animes than FY lately, like me. Hehehehe… well, you can't blame them. Each person wants new ideas and storylines so it seems that these people left FY for another anime. Thanks anyway for reviewing my work and yes! I'll try to fill my dead cold brain with creative ideas! Don't worry about the scarcity of FY authors. I'm pretty sure they'll add. :)
To Night^^: You are so bad!!!! I've finished taking the UPCAT but thanks anyway for your encouragement and reviewing my work! (O diba, straight English?)
To Pebbles: Hai! Thanks for the encouraging words! I'll try checking out your fanfics as soon as I finished my exams ok? I'll promise to review it also ok? And I'm not that GOOD in writing stories. To my personal opinion, I'm waaay bad as an author. I tend to create such stupid grammar mistakes but thanks for praise anyway ^.~ (Ironic, huh?) And I'll notify you as soon as I finish each chapter. Fair enough?
And that's that!
If you have any suggestions, comments, any ideas for the next chapters, or simply want to talk or pester me (or maybe not…), please e-mail me at furyoushoujo@hotmail.com and I'll be replying to you very soon!
And those who wanted to be updated, please leave your e-mail address whenever you review my work or plainly e-mail me again at furyoushoujo@hotmail.com and I'll be sending you an e-mail for notification, okay? Just reply to notify me if you ever received it.
While waiting for eternity to end (yeah right, as if that's possible), keep those reviews flowin'!