Even Though It's Painful… Always
By Nokurai To-orima
Disclaimer: The usual blah, yakitty-yak… you get the point. I don't own FY. If I own it, I wouldn't be making this…
I'm waiting for the strike.
I'm waiting for the pain.
I'm waiting for my end.
Who, in the right mind, would anticipate Death's call?
Someone who have suffered long enough to endure this miserable life…
Who happens to be me…
I opened my eyes to see how the arrow would end my life in just a flash.
But instead, I stared in open-mouthed horror.
Akira flew off in front of me, and a long splash of bright blood burst forth from his body. It followed the path of the arrow that had bored his chest. Once through his body, the spent missile struck me a bruising blow on my shoulder, and left a smear of blood on my robe. I saw him land hard on his side, sliding a few feet away before he came into a stop.
"Akira-san!" I shouted as I run towards his limp body. I touched his wrist and search for a pulse. He's still alive. I turned him up, and saw blood blossoming quickly on the front of his tunic. Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god! What am I going to do? I must stop the blood flow somehow… Without thinking, I ripped my sleeves and split each in half before tying it around his chest. At any rate, it won't flow that fast.
This is at least I can do to repay him in saving my pitiful life…
A branch cracked nearby. I looked up, and once again, the soldiers who were chasing us earlier surrounded us. The rain of arrows must've stopped. I can't fight them in this condition. I can't even run, leaving Akira in the process. I can't do anything. The men sneered, seeing the traitor lying on my lap.
"Come, Seiryuu no Miko. We must take you back." One said.
Chapter 6: Setsunasa (Bitter Pain)
I won't let them have you.
They can overrun Konan with their strength.
Please trust me.
The words of Akira repeated in my ears like a broken record. I can't trust Kutuo now. I feel like I was betrayed.
But how come I am trusting Konan?
"I don't want to. You killed him!"
One soldier grasped my wrist and pulled me up to feet. "We must take you back. The Emperor wishes it. And if needed, we'll use force." He said, eyes marked with anger.
"DAME!" I twisted his arm before banging him in a tree trunk. I was about to kick him but the pain returned, but my body was too exhausted. I feel my whole body aching. I could hardly move a muscle, but I must resist. I must.
"Get her!" Someone ordered the others.
I must… fight….
Then I heard clomps of horses' hooves. The soldiers looked alarm, grasping at their weapons tight. I watched in the darkness. I just watched silently beside the barely alive Akira. I was about to shout for help, but then…
"LEKKA SHINEN!" Out of the darkness came out a blistering flame that turned the snow into steam. The ring of flame then sped to the soldiers before me, and turned them into crisp, and then bolted into the night. Leaving Akira and me alone.
"Works every time!"
That voice!
I stood up, carrying Akira on my back. My body complains as I felt the weight of his body. But again, I ignored them. I'm used to pushing myself to the limits during this kind of circumstances. In the sudden silence, a few shadows move from the trees, picking up the weaponry the Kutuo soldiers left.
"Light the torches! Light the torches!"
The red-haired man approached me with a torch on his left hand. "What the hell…?" He said as he saw me. "Help…" was only the words I uttered, my body used up all of its strength and I fell unconscious towards him.
* * * * *
At the sight of a barefoot and a nearly naked woman in front of me, all I say is, "What the hell…?"
She then fell lifelessly before me, landing hard on the ground. "Oi, daijobou ka?" I moved her. No response. Then, I saw another body beside her. "Akira?!"
"What happened, Genrou?" Kouji suddenly appeared beside me, and became as surprise as I was. He hastily looked for his pulse. "That's a relief, he's still alive. Judging by the clothing around his chest, I'm sure that this lady here helped him." He said as he saw the girl lying unconsciously on the snow.
"She's not dressed for this weather, is she? Wonder what's she's doing out here?" I said as I examined the girl's thin clothes.
"Just carry her." Kouji instructed as he carried Akira and left me.
"Why ME?! You know how I hate women!!! And how did you become the leader all of the sudden?!"
Kouji shot me a glare, "Look, Akira's almost dying and we don't have time to bicker such an unimportant matter." He informed. With the look of his face, he's confused and angry of what has happened.
With a sigh, I hoisted her up into my arms, and crunched across the snow. I carried her to my horse where I placed her onto the saddle. I'd unrolled a wool blanket and draped it over her cold shoulder to bring her warmth for a while. I rode on my horse and let her body lean unto me. "Oi Kouji, what do you think happened?"
Kouji let one of our men take care of Akira before he rode his horse, "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't good. In the meantime, we'll let those two recover and get the answers tomorrow."
I didn't ask anymore. Knowing him, he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight due to what we've witnessed. Like Kouji said, I'll be getting the answers tomorrow. I glance at the young girl sleeping in front of me.
What the hell is she doing in the middle of the war?
She's not even dressed for the weather!
And why is she together with Akira?
Is she a—
"I'll take her, Genrou. You don't look comfortable with her." Kouji offered with false concern.
"Nah, I got her Kouji. You just lead us to the cabin."
He then spurred his horse forward. "Why? Are you busy wondering if she looks good on you," he grinned when he passed me.
The mountain was filled with curses and swears.
* * * * *
When we arrived at the cabin, the men went efficiently about their evening tasks. They set up a watch while casting furtive glances at the young woman all the while. I instructed the other bandits to bring Akira to the nearest doctors. The girl, however, was to treated here at our hideout. I deposited her near the fire, and threw another blanket in her direction. She was curled up in rough-hewn chair and was still asleep amid the chaos, safe and warm.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! SHE'LL BE SLEEPING IN MY QUARTERS?! FIRST, YOU LET ME CARRY HER AND NOW THIS?!" I protested. I feel steam coming out of my hot head.
Kouji brought out bandages and herbs before ministering to the wounds of the young lady. "She's going to stay with you and that's final!" Kouji 'ordered'. He might look serious but inside him, he's laughing mad.
"I'm the leader around here and my decision is no! She'll not be sleeping in my room!!!" I shook my head furiously, earring swinging.
"What do we do then?" He asked.
Silence seems to found a way to occupy the room.
"Hey, I got it!" Kouji exclaimed, making me jump a bit. "She can bunk with the men! How much trouble can she get into? I mean, she's—"
"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!! SHE'D BE SAFER WITH YOU THAN WITH THOSE… THOSE MEN!!!" I interrupted him before he can get any perverse ideas.
"There, she's all done!" Kouji secured the last bandage on her arm.
I sighed, "I guess she'll be sleeping in my room. Oi Kouji, can I bunk with you?" I asked hopefully. I just can't stand sleeping together with a girl in the same space!
"Sure pal, no problem. I'm sure none of the guys will have any idea that she's sleeping in your room. Alone. Unprotected."
I hung my head in defeat, "Kuso! I better make some arrangements!"
That's why I hate women! They're such a pain in the neck!
I carried her to a warm sleeping bed, and tucked her in with several blankets. I spread out a quilt on the wooden floor and threw some pillows and a blanket beside the bed. Before I could lie down, I studied her for a while.
The hair color is similar to hers…
She does look like her…
I shake my head to remove the past in my head.
I don't want to remember anymore.
I don't want to feel the pain anymore.
Before I notice it, I drifted off to a dream.
* * * * *
And here I am again strolling…
Strolling around with my red eyes staring…
Staring at the same darkness…
Darkness in the same empty world…
A world that I alone seem to exist…
Existing together with the miseries…
Miseries that have been eating me bit by bit…
"It's okay to cry, as long as you feel better…"
The gentle voice…
The gentle voice that soothed my soul with its words…
He was here when the previous dream sequence occurred.
Where is he?
Talking about voices, I wonder what happened to me when those men arrived? Am I safe? Am I killed? Am I…
Why do I bother?
I don't want to live and I wanted to die…
And if I ever did lived…
How I wished to be dead!
"Don't say that!" A voice shouted in fury.
The voice has returned. I wanted to ask for his comfort, but pride took over my mind. "And why not? I have the right to do so! Who wants to live a life filled with downfalls?! I deserve to die and rest in peace!!!" I fought back.
"Everything has a purpose, don't you think?"
"Being hated has a purpose? To what? To punish me? To kill me softly with guilt?"
"What makes you think you're hated?" He shot back.
That question made me think for a while.
"I'm alone right now, can't you see? This proves that I'm detested! Unloved!"
And being alone makes me weak…
And being weak is my most despised state…
That's why I sought to die…
"I'm still here, talking to you."
"What…"
"Being all alone is just an excuse for you to have a reason to die.
But the truth is, you don't want to give in to your frailty.
Your frailty to be rejected."
My weak point… he found it.
"You're not the only one feeling the same pain…"
"I know what it feels to be alone…"
That line! He said that before.
Before I could ask, a white light blinded me.
Since when did I saw this?
* * * * *
The gentle touch of the warm wind caressed my cheek as I found myself sauntering on a field of wild flowers. Kneeling down, I touched the amethyst colored flower near me. It seemed so real. But I knew I was still on a dream. Yet, I feel an unusual aura around me. As if I already went here before…
It feels so…
Familiar…
I've searched my brain for some answers, with no avail. Suddenly, I heard voices coming from far away. I stood up, looking for the source, as a swirl of the spring breeze blew through the valley, tossing my hair.
"Can't catch me!" The young man with raven black hair cried out, running through the green grass. A smile was playing on his lips as he climbed up a small hill a few meters away from me. I turned to see to whom he's talking to.
My eyes went wide as I saw a replica of myself, except that the girl running forward had longer hair. "Akai! Wait up!" she shouted, still running. She ran past me, as if I don't exist.
Akai?
A jolt of realization struck me, making my eyes go wider than ever. The girl wasn't a replica, but it was me. And the adolescent she's calling was my guy best friend… and my first love. Kaminari Akai. This is what I've dreaded to recall. This is what I've tried to forget. Tried to forget how this scene made my heart skip a beat and at the same time, smash it into little bits of dust.
Because this scene was when…
He stopped on top of the hill, looking around as if drinking in the beauty of the valley. He then laughed at the sight of a young girl drenched in sweat and was out of breath.
"You okay?" He asked, giggles still escaping from his mouth.
"Do I look like I'm alright?" My past self said in a questioning tone, still breathing loudly. She lay down on the grass due to exhaustion. Akai did the same, feeling the soft grass brush in his arms and the wind blew a relaxing warmth against their faces.
I didn't want to talk back then. I was feeling a bit awkward whenever I'm the one who's going to break the silence.
"Feeling better now?" He asked again.
She just nodded.
"Yokatta. I thought you'd get angry again…" he laughed once more, trying to cheer her up as usual. She just gave him a blank stare before resuming to staring at the clouds.
What's with the clouds that I kept staring at them? I asked myself as I continued to watch my play backed memory.
"Ne, Rima…"
"Nani?"
"Anou… who was the guy you were with yesterday?"
She gave an intent look at him before laughing her head off. "You… hahaha… are so… hahahaha… hahaha… funny!" She said with the hahaha's in every word.
He pouted, "What's so funny about it? I was just asking who was the guy you were with yesterday."
She chuckled, "You're acting like my onii-san."
"What's wrong with that? It ain't bad if I was concerned about you! What if that guy took you somewhere and did something to you? Or what if—"
"He was my second cousin, okay? Don't worry about it!" She assured him and giving him a smile that he knows what it means: drop it. Before he could retaliate, a cell phone beeped.
1 message received.
Before she could read, he swapped it away from her hand and looked at it. His right eyebrow went up as he read out loud the text message:
"Hi To-orima! How's your day? I just wanted to invite you to have a snack with me at our favorite bar near the beach… if it isn't a hassle to you. Let's chat about the good ol' days… and I wanted to meet someone, and that someone is a she! You get the point! ^^ Please reply back asap!"
"Who's Ryoku?" He questioned her again.
"He's the person I was with yesterday." She answered, obviously irritated by his constant questioning. She took again the cell phone and replied:
"No problem! I'm free all afternoon anyway so don't worry about you being an obstacle in my daily routine. And you got a GIRLFRIEND?! I hope she ain't blind! Hehehehe… ^^ you're not the only one who got someone to introduce that has a relationship with you! Okay, I'll see you then! Bye-bye!"
He, again, seized her phone and has done something. He returned it with an odd look on his face. She gave him a weird look before looking on her phone. Shock and embarrassment was visible on her face as she read the edited version of the text message:
"No problem! I'm free all afternoon anyway so don't worry about you being an obstacle in my daily routine. And you got a GIRLFRIEND?! I hope she ain't blind! Hehehehe… ^^ By the way, you're not the only one who got someone to introduce that has a relationship with you! Okay, I'll see you then! Bye-bye!"
She looked at him with an unreadable expression in her eyes. He returned her gaze with his.
This is when Akai…
"You're joking… right?" She asked in a nervous tone.
…proposed me.
Before she knew it, he planted a light kiss on her lips.
And the picture went black.
* * * * *
The early morning light, diffused through the white window coverings, slowly opened my eyes. I found myself staring at a wooden ceiling and lying in an unfamiliar bed. Suddenly, I remembered going unconscious in the middle of the battle and the men that arrived in the scene. I moved my hand near to my face. It was covered with bandages spotted with blood. By the looks of things, someone saved me and treated me.
I tried to sit up, but my head throbbed in pain. I cursed myself for being so careless as I tried to ease myself. The sunray caught my attention as it penetrated through the coverings. I turned my head to the right and tried to look what's outside. With the bright sunlight piercing my eyes again, all that I can picture was trees and a little bit of the mountain. There didn't seem to be any sign of Kutuo. No armor clinking, no yelling orders, no Kutuo.
Where in the universe am I?
Continued…
* * * * *
Author's Note:
YAHOO!!!
Chapter 6 is now finished! Let's celebrate! *Starts to drink sake*
As usual, I'm sorry about the delay because I was too absorbed by this chapter and I've been aching to write this part ever since I started this fic… well, not really aching but I wanted to clear things out like who is the HE the main character is preferring to. And by the look of things, I'll be coming back to longer chapters again… sigh, how life is sooo unfair to me… (Note: Don't you know that all of my chapters, except for chapter 5, are nine pages long and chapter 5 is only 5 pages? Well, I just complimented the number of pages with the chapter number! Hehehehe…)
I'm also sorry if I've confused you on who's talking in some parts. In this fic, Tasuki/Genrou/Kou Shun'u and Rima-chan will be in first person point of view. I'll be giving some hints of who's talking anyway. If you got confused, please tell me so I may know.
Anyway, here's a memo for my reviewers (I love communicating, don't you?):
To Otaku Pitcher: Hai! I'll wait for your fic! Even if I'll wait for a thousand years! Hehehehe… just kidding! . I know that its kind of early to say this but I wanted to thank for reviewing me all they way! Thanks a lot! ^.^
To ~*FireAngel*~ : Another reader! Yatta! Thanks for your time! I appreciate it! .
To Spooky Fyre: I know, but I like chapters that are really cliffhangers so the readers will get more… a suspense? Hehehe, thanks for your time anyway! I appreciate it! If you want to whack me, go ahead! Just make sure you'll hit me! hehehehe… ^.~
To ChibiSamisala: A new reader again! Wow, I'm getting new reviewers every chapter! That's nice… ^.~ Thanks for your time in reading my fic! I hope to see you again in the upcoming chapters! And you're welcome!
To Viette Adele: Yatta! A new reader once again! I'm gaining popularity here! Hehehe… just joking! Thanks for complimenting my writing skills, although I still feel that I've got a few grammatical errors. Thanks for having time reading my fic, anyway. One reviewer is equal to a hundred of inspirations!
To Night^^: When will you ever stop pestering me…
To Midnight Kitty: I'll wait for the next chapters! In the meantime, I'll send some sketches as soon as I scan them! Please send me some of your sketches too, okay! Thanks a lot anyway! Luv your fics also!
Before I end, I want you to take note of the following:
For those who want to be updated, please review and leave me with your e-mail address or directly e-mail me saying: HAI HAI! PLEASE UPDATE ME!
For those who I update, but doesn't want to be updated, please review or directly e-mail me saying: SHUT UP! YOU'RE IRRITATING ME!
My e-mail address is furyoushoujo@hotmail.com in case you want to know.
See you on the next chapter update! Ja ne!