Author: Roz
Email: aeterno_estel@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13, just to be safe, yah?
Genre: Uhm…..angst?
Disclaimer: Yeah! I'm making millions out of this!! NOT! I don't own anything (and no offense, but I'm glad that I don't own anything!) but if there are any publishers out there, don't be afraid to sign me up!! Hahahaha! As if. But I do claim Aragorn-the-16-year-old as my own……and Arwen? You know, there should be a law against being born too perfect. Even though this is a SW story……
Feedback: Oh god, please yes!! Please, please, PLEASE!!
Archival: I'd be honored to be in anyone's archive, just tell me so I can visit you sometime too!
Summary: In the middle of the Padawan trials, Obi-Wan runs away thinking himself as a failure. While in the lower levels of Coruscant, he is badly injured. Will the Jedi reach him in time and if they do, will that be enough?
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Lots of this story is AU and I've changed some things differently to the JA books, so just try and take it in your stride ok? Don't try to make too much sense of it. And this is going to be a 'short' story.
I hope you like it Culf!
****Obi-Wan looked at the calendar on his table and sighed deeply. It was that time of year. The time that Obi-Wan both hated and loved.
It was the Padawan trial times.
The young boy closed his eyes and turned over in his bed, snuggling deeper into his white cocoon of comfort, trying his best to sleep for the last hours of the night.
To absolutely no avail.
His mind just wouldn't let him sleep. His body was totally exhausted but his mind was way too busy to let his body rest.
It thought that there were better things to do. Like worry about getting accepted, about being someone's Padawan and about finally becoming a defender of the galaxy. It also dwelt heavily about not being accepted and ending up in the Agri-corps.
About failing.
The young initiate had been practicing hard everyday for the last 2 months and had been studying as hard and as quickly as his mind would let him.
The actual trails would start in………..
The boy looked quickly at the clock beside the calendar.
…………3 hours.
The boy buried his head into the pillow in a vain attempt to sleep.
"Who are you trying to fool Oafy-Wan, huh?" A voice sneered out of the dark and Obi-Wan shot straight up, his sleep tousled hair sticking up at odd angles. In the doorway a thin, white haired boy leaned on the frame, silhouetted by the faint light in the hallway, sniggering at the sight of the alarmed initiate.
He stepped forward and stood about a foot away from the boy's bed, the moonlight streaming through a window lighting up his white hair, giving it an almost reverend glow.
"Bruck! W-what…." Obi-Wan licked his lips, the words getting stuck in his throat, and tried again, "What are you doing here?"
The boy in question took another step forward; his blinding white hair instantly swallowed up by the darkness as he moved out of the moonlight, and vanished.
"Bruck?" Obi-Wan's voice was pitched higher then normal, fear taking hold as his eyes wildly searched the room for the missing boy.
"Here, Oafy-Wan." A voice whispered by his ear and Obi-Wan jumped in fright.
"Bruck! What are you doing?! Where are you!?!"
There was an airy snicker and the voice replied just as close, making the hairs on Obi-Wan's neck stand up, "Right here, Oafy-Wan. Use your eyes. Use those Jedi skills." The voice sarcastically drawled out the 2nd to last word.
Obi-Wan stilled his thumping heart and forced himself to concentrate. As his eyes scoured the room he saw Bruck. It wasn't the fact that Bruck had disappeared that had scared him so much – it was the fact that when Obi-Wan had finally located the 'missing' boy, Bruck was mere centimeters away from him.
Bruck was around five centimeters away from Obi-Wan's head. Obi-Wan could only just see the glow of Bruck's hair.
Bruck silently took in his discovery and snicked softly again, "So the young Jedi has finally located his prey. Morning Oafy-Wan."
The boy pulled himself together and with as much force as he could muster asked the question once again, "What are you doing here, Bruck?"
"Well, my master and I just returned from a mission and I thought that I'd stop by and wish you good luck on your trials. You are, after all, going to need all the help that you can get." Bruck made his voice low and sympathetic but his eyes kept their evil glint.
Obi-Wan bowed his head, he didn't want Bruck to see how upset his words of 'kindness' were making him.
Bruck had been accepted as Master Nygher's Padawan last year. In fact, all his friends had been accepted last year. Everyone except him.
"Yes." Bruck nodded his head sympathetically as he watched Obi-Wan trying to deal with his emotions, "I know this is hard Oafy-Wan. I know that all your friends have been accepted because they are so much better then you. I know that the Masters don't look twice at you because you are so pathetic. I know that although you try your best, you are one of the biggest failures in the Temple. And I know that this must be hard on you but realize this, I'm always there for you!" With the last sentence, Bruck erupted into silent laughter, his body convulsing as he tried to keep his black mirth in.
Obi-Wan's cheeks flared red and he tried to shield his emotions, "Shut up Bruck! Just shut up! I don't have to listen to you! I don't have to---"
"Careful there, little initiate. Don't give into your anger because you know where that leads!" Bruck waved his finger in front of the boy's face and laughed eve harder.
Obi-Wan was speechless then suddenly found his tongue. "This year is going to be different!"
Bruck lifted an eyebrow and put his head on the side, "Oh yeah Oafy-Wan? How? You actually going to do something right at the trials?" The quiet snickers continued.
"Yes! I mean, no! I mean…….." Obi-Wan was lost for words, so he turned the subject around, "This year I AM going to be chosen."
Bruck rolled his eyes, "Yeah right. As if. And I'm a monkey's arse."
Obi-Wan grinned uncertainly, "Then you must be a monkey's arse, because I will be accepted. Just you watch! Now, if you don't have anything more else to say – leave me alone. I wish to sleep in peace." Obi-Wan flopped back into his sheets and turned away, leaving Bruck to talk to his back.
"As I said before, I just came to wish you luck….." Bruck's voice grew even 'nicer', "After all, this is your last year. If you don't get chosen – you're off to Agri-corps. You become a Jedi-loser. You'll become what you already know you are: A failure." Bruck's voice was positively angelic. He turned to leave and just as he crossed over the threshold he whispered, "Sweet dreams Oafy-Wan."
****Obi-Wan tossed and turn in his bed, the sheets tangling themselves around his body. What Bruck said wasn't true. It's not true. The boy tried his best to try and convince himself but no matter what he said to lift his spirits nothing worked.
"Maybe there is something wrong with me." The boy wretchedly whispered to himself as he thought over his work and his training. He had done as much, even more then his friends, yet he had been left behind. Why?
He was a good worker, he was good at 'sabre practice, he was average in all his subjects and although he didn't stand out, he didn't totally fade into the back round either. But no one noticed him. Why?
He had a good personality. He was pure as pure could be. He was patient; he had tolerance and managed to control most of his emotions. Yet people overlooked him. Why?
The boy couldn't answer any of this questions and that left him even more worried. "Why can't I answer any of my questions? Why am I left all alone?" Obi-Wan buried his head in his sheets and vainly tried to find answers to an unanswerable question.
Needless to say, it was a tired and worried boy that emerged from his room a mere 3 hours later.
As soon as Obi-Wan stepped out of his bedroom, he noticed the air of excitement.
The trials had begun.
****As Obi-Wan made his way over to the breakfast table Bruck swept past, walking quickly after his master.
"Good luck Oafy-Wan!" He called back over his shoulder and let out a guffaw of laughter, "You're going to need it!"
Just ignore him. Just ignore him. Obi-Wan thought to himself as he picked up his food tray. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't look where he was going and found himself flat on his face, with half of his breakfast scattered all over the room.
"Watch it, you clumsy idiot! Don't you look where you're going? Stupid fool!" A girl muttered as she uselessly tried to wipe some of the food off of her tunic.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to." Obi-Wan started to apologize but stopped as a Knight stepped in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest.
"Initiate Kenobi?" The man's voice was deep and toneless.
"Yes sir?" The boy looked up into the man's eyes and couldn't help but tremble.
"I have seen you lose your concentration many times. This results in the waste of good food. I am sick of it. You must pay more attention to your surroundings. Be more mindful of the living force. Do you understand?"
The boy wilted under the man's glare, "Yes sir."
"You are 12 are you not? Your 13th birthday is not far away?" The man questioned.
"Yes sir. My 13th birthday is in 7 months."
"Then you had better watch what you do if you wish to become a Jedi Padawan. You may continue on your way Initiate Kenobi." With a curt nod, the Knight dismissed him.
"Yes sir." The boy whispered the last words and scurried away. "Good one Kenobi. First thing you do, you manage to stuff up."
He arrived at his friends table and plonked himself down. "Hi guys!" He made his voice cheerful, so that they would not guess anything of what had happened at the breakfast table.
"Morning Obi-Wan." Bant, Garen and Reeft barely spared the boy a glance before they returned to their argument.
"But they cannot do that! If they do then the diplomatic immunity would commence forth from that time onward and the Tyukls would end up having to give in to the demands. If that happened then what would happen to the granules of Hysja on the planet within the central core?" Bant put forth her argument with wide, sincere eyes.
"But they can! Can't you see it Bant? If they agree to comply to some of the demands then some of the heat would be released off of them and put elsewhere. This might actually give them a chance to remove themselves from the situation that they are in and nothing would befall the granules of Hysja within the core." Garen argued against the Calamarian.
"Garen is right! Actually no, both of you are right. Who is there to say that there is a definite right and wrong? No matter what happens, something bad is going to befall either side of the argument and even if we do manage to settle this dispute without bloodshed and pain then once we are gone, something, somewhere is going to try and do something with the Hysja core granules." Reeft concluded his speech with a triumphant smile.
"Uh…….?" Obi-Wan didn't know what to say. "Uhm, what are you talking about?"
"Oh, I forgot!" Bant laughed shrilly, her laughter sounding thin even to her ears. "We're all going on a mission together. It's going to be great!"
"You all are?!?!" Obi-Wan tried to get his head around the idea of all his friends leaving together, leaving him alone once again.
"Yep! It's awesome! All of our masters were called together and we're going to be working on the same mission. It's going to be heaps of fun! Too bad that you can't come huh Obi-Wan?" Garen tried his hand at a sympathetic smile, failing miserably, his own excitement making him too happy to be bothered with someone else's worries at the moment.
"Yeah……..cool." Obi-Wan whispered brokenly and stared down at the table.
There was an awkward silence then all three friends started arguing once more amongst themselves.
Obi-Wan waited for another five minutes, but after his friends hadn't even spared him a glance he quietly snuck away from the table. They didn't even notice him go.
How much worse could the day get?
Bruck had taunted him in the morning. He had been told off by a Knight for tripping over and dropping his tray and now he had found out that all his friends were going on a mission. Together. Without him.
"Don't worry about it. Things can't get much worse. Just put it out of your mind. Just work your hardest today and you will get chosen." Obi-Wan tried to cheer himself up and consolidated himself with the fact that the famous Qui-Gon Jinn was coming to watch the trials. And choose for himself a Padawan.
"Wow. Imagine if I could become Jinn's Padawan. That would be amazing." Obi-Wan stared awe-stricken into his fantasy future and didn't hear Bruck come up behind him.
"Imagine it well Oafy-Wan for that is all it will be! A fantasy! You fool! As if someone so great as Jinn would choose some pathetic, little failure like you! You're almost not even worth going to Agri-corps! I don't even know why they choose you!" The laughter in the Padawan's voice and the wavering resolution of the initiate in himself made the words hurt even more.
Obi-Wan gave Bruck a glare and stalked off.
"Remember what I said Oafy-Wan! This is your last chance! FAILURE!!" The black voice floated behind him and planted seeds of doubt in the initiate's mind.
****It was lunch time. So far, Obi-Wan thought he was going well. Although he hadn't won any of his tournaments, he had done well and he had seen his teachers' face shining.
He was going to be picked this year. He could feel it.
He stepped out into the ring for his last match and his eyes swept the audience. He could see him. Qui-Gon Jinn sat amongst the crowd, his body slouched, his shoulders slumped and his eyes virtually closed. The tall man looked asleep.
"Well, I will show him something that will make him sit up. Something that will make him take notice of me and he will choose me as his Padawan." Obi-Wan clenched his teeth and promised himself.
His eyes went past the Master and he saw also in the grandstand Bant, Garen and Reeft's Masters. There was no sign of his friends. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn't see them.
Maybe they were late? Maybe they were in the crowd but he just couldn't see them? Not likely. Obi-Wan shook his head and his hand holding his lightsabre trembled. They hadn't come. His friends hadn't come to see his last match.
Someone in the crowd waved and shouted out a name. "OAFY-WAN!"
Obi-Wan eyes locked themselves onto Brucks and he flinched as the crowd laughed at the Padawan's nickname for the Initiate. Bruck didn't have his master with him, Obi-Wan noticed.
Why did Bruck have to be here? Where were his friends?
Obi-Wan took his spot, and the match begun but he couldn't concentrate. He missed several simple maneuvers and ended up with slight burns for his efforts. He could almost hear the crowd yawning as they watched another average performance.
"No! I will not be another average fighter! I will prove something to Master Jinn and he will take me as his student!" Obi-Wan vowed and battled harder but as the fight went on longer his concentration slipped even further.
Oafy-Wan.
His opponent feinted to the left and the young boy fell for it.
All your friends have been accepted because they are so much better then you.
Obi-Wan swirled around on his heel and dropped to the ground so that the blade went harmlessly over his head. He then sprung high into the air and did a somersault and landed behind his opponent.
The Masters don't look twice at you because you are so pathetic.
He lunged forward but his opponent suddenly sidestepped and brought his 'sabre onto the boy's side, giving Obi-Wan a mild burn.
You are one of the biggest failures in the Temple.
Obi-Wan gasped as he felt his skin burn and he spun away.
You become a Jedi-loser.
He gripped his 'sabre tighter and flipped over his opponent's head once again, trying to surprise him.
You are a Jedi-loser.
His opponent feinted once again and once again the boy fell for it.
Oafy-Wan.
Obi-Wan blinked, trying to clear his vision as his opponent gave him a good knock to his head with his elbow.
Clumsy idiot.
In return he pivoted on one foot and stuck his other foot out, tripping his opponent up.
Don't you look where you're going?
As soon as his opponent fell, he flipped right back up and artistically weaved his way over to Obi-Wan's side of the mat.
Stupid fool!
Obi-Wan rushed headlong into the battle and started a sizzling quick, sabre to sabre fight where the blades were just a blur of light.
We're all going on a mission together.
Upper, lower, left, right. Feinting, springing.
You'll become what you already know you are: A failure.
Suddenly, too late Obi-Wan felt a leg weave around his.
Failure.
No! Obi-Wan's mind cried. The grip tightened.
Failure.
The whole close-knit fight had been a set-up. He had fallen for it.
Failure.
Suddenly, he was lying on his back and the sabre touched him lightly on his neck, signaling a deathblow.
PATHETIC FAILURE.
****Well, tell me if you like it! I wasn't actually going to do anymore SW fics but i owed Culf this one, so you can all thank her for this!
I bet you don't like it do you Culf?
Anyway, updates will be weekly because I'm at school and it's Yr12, and i've really got to work. So yeah. You should be lucky that you're getting this so soon! I was going to wait till the holidays! Which are in about 10 weeks time here!
Anway, i do hope you like it! Tell me in a review!