by: tlgirl
Category: Zane/Sam
Disclaimer: blah blah blah . . . I don't own anything . . . don't sue me . . . you know the drill.
Note: Deals with premarital sex. (oooh scandalous) *wink*
Note #2: Sorry for the short and slow updates. Isn't it the more you write the better you become? Yeah, well I'm going through the exact opposite. It's like my writing has gone far below par. *Sighs* At least this chapter is better than the last two (which doesn't say much).
Feedback: I save every piece of feedback I get. I might not e-mail you back, but rest assure that the 30 seconds you wasted sending me an e-mail about your thoughts, was read and very much appreciated.
After fifteen years of living in this town, I'm finally leaving. My mom and I are moving to California to stay with her sister. I don't blame her for wanting to leave. I'm surprised that she's lasted this long without going on a serial killing spree murdering everyone in this stupid place. In the town's eye's my mom is nothing but a home wrecker who had an affair with poor Mitzi Dolan's dead husband. She made a mistake, she regrets it and asked forgiveness. Mrs. Dolan has forgiven her, why won't anyone else in this town do the same? Not that they have the right to forgive my mom, it's not like our lives are any of their damn business. In this town, my mom will forever be judged and label as a whore. What right do they have to judge her? What right do they have to judge me? None whatsoever.
They think that we don't hear the gossip. My mom and I do. Most of the time we just try to ignore them. But behind her "I-don't-give-a-damn" mask, I can tell she takes it to heart. Last night was the last straw. She broke down and cried, begging me to let her take us to California with her sister. Watching her tear-stained face, how could I tell her that I couldn't leave? How could I tell her that the reason I couldn't leave was because . . . because of a girl? I couldn't.
Darkness and confusion swirls around me. The raging waves below me are nothing compared to the inner struggle taking place within myself. I grasp, trying to hold on to some sanity, but the chaos around me makes me stumble and fall. I'm so dizzy . . . so horribly dizzy and nauseated. I close my eyes, feeling the caress of a soft breeze.
And finally, I find clarity. I take a deep breath as I take in the minor comfort in this one peaceful moment has given me. I know what I have to do.
As if she's right on cue, Sam strolls next to me. "Hey Zane!" she says brightly, " Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you. You've been avoi . . ."
There's no use to beating around the bush. I might as well tell her the news straightforward. "I'm leaving in a week, Sam. My mom and I are moving to California. For good." I say. I hide the emotions brewing inside. I can't show her that she is my kryptonite, my weakness.
She turns and faces me. Her eyes meet mine and we share and intense gaze. Without warning she begins to giggle, "Good job, Zane!" she manages to say between laughs, "You almost got me there. You're kidding right?"
"No." I almost don't recognize my voice as it comes out strong and firm, almost harsh.
She quickly turns away, she retreats away from me as if my words physically struck her body. My face remains emotionless. I can't allow myself to feel. I can't allow myself to care. I can't allow myself to hurt. I have to be the strong one. She doesn't look back as she begins to walk away from me, after a few steps, her strides become an all out run. I watch her until her figure disappears from my sight. I blink back the tears. "Stay strong!" I scold myself.
There's no turning back now. I guess it's better this way.
Author's Note #3: Okay, maybe that was pretty sudden and short. But hang in there! I'll explain what was going on in Sam's head in the next chapter. Thanks for all the feedback. But if you're still reading this, please send me a review. I don't care if it's a simple "that was great" or "you suck." Just tell me what you think. Feedback is the one thing that keeps me motivated to keep writing.