Author: Rae
Title: Indulging the Heart
Rating/summary/notes in the first part
-----~~~~~------
February 10th,
Today, I'm thinking that life is pretty good…and I'm wondering why it took me so long to get this far.
My friends know I'm gay, my family knows. As soon as the fan girls know and leave me alone, I think I'll be a much happier person.
At this point in time, I don't have a care in the world, and I can't imagine it getting any better. Actually, that's not entirely the truth. I need new guitar strings and a band that can -play-, and barring that, I need something to keep me occupied today because I have nothing planned.
My apartment just does not harbor fun things. Taichi has a bunch of video games that are at least marginally amusing. Sora's house was always fun…but I think that's because I was always there with her.
I'm starting to wonder if I don't have abandonment issues. I can choose to be by myself, and I'm normally fine. However, when forced into isolation from the rest of my friends, I do nothing but dwell on the fact that I'm alone.
Okay, skip this. I'm going to the store to find guitar strings. No reason to get out of practice just because I don't have a band right now to play with.
-----~~~~~-----
Yamato was surprised when the doorbell rang shortly after he got home. His surprise settled into a puddle of confusion when Daisuke calmly walked into his apartment and introduced himself as 'your fashion coordinator for the day.' He was obviously talking to Yamato, as there was no one else around, but it took the blond a few seconds for the words to sink in and leave a mark.
"You're supposed to help me dress?" Yamato asked skeptically, watching the top of Daisuke's head as he took off his shoes. Brown eyes looked up through a fringe of hair, one brow quirked.
"You don't trust my fashion sense?" Daisuke asked, standing up straight. Yamato smiled slightly, his eyes scanning Daisuke's feet once before he turned around.
"I'll trust your 'fashion sense' when you can match your socks." Daisuke rolled his eyes, mocking the older teen behind his back. He stopped when he realized that Yamato had turned around and was watching him.
Daisuke narrowed his eyes. "You know what? For being mean, you're going to have to feed me, now."
"There isn't enough food in this building to feed you, Daisuke," the blond retorted, heading into the kitchen.
"Of course not. Tai visited yesterday. I'm surprised you have anything left," the auburn-haired teen was quick with his comeback, and Yamato smiled at him. "Anyway," he dragged the word out, grinning back. "I have some questions for you."
Yamato sighed and turned away to find something in the fridge to feed his guest. When Daisuke didn't start asking immediately, he looked over the door of the fridge, and found that the other boy was watching him. "What?" he finally asked.
"When did you realize that you were gay?" Daisuke asked. Yamato raised an eyebrow; he had expected Daisuke to play around the subject, not approach it directly. Of course, he should have known better. Daisuke must have inherited his lack of tact from Tai's goggles.
"About the time Sora and I broke up," he answered, shrugging. He turned his attention back to the contents of the fridge. "And before you ask, I don't know why. It just…never occurred to me before that, I guess. I had a girlfriend, I didn't have to look at -anyone-."
The redhead made a considering sound, but didn't comment. Yamato pulled a bowl out of the fridge and shut the door. He handed the container to Daisuke, who took it with a grin. "You're not going to warm it up for me?"
"Warm it up yourself," the blond instructed, giving Daisuke a long-suffering look.
"Fine, be that way," Daisuke muttered, stalking past the blond to heat his food in the microwave. "You're a really bad host, you know that?'
"We're even, then. You're a horrible guest."
Daisuke stuck his tongue out at the blond. "Jerk."
"Just eat your food, Daisuke." He watched as Daisuke pushed the buttons that started the microwave. He was nice enough to get the auburn-haired boy a spoon, but he made Daisuke remove the heated bowl himself.
He went to his bedroom while Daisuke ate, and he opened his closet. There weren't many outfits that he considered possibly embarrassing, but he knew that if they were in there, Daisuke would find them.
Satisfied that there were no clothes that he wouldn't be willing to wear, he wandered back into the kitchen in time to see Daisuke rinsing his bowl out in the sink. "Someone trained you well," he said with a smile.
Daisuke set the bowl beside the sink and turned around. He nudged Yamato's side as he passed him on the way to the blond's room. "Be that way, and I'll dress you ugly, man."
Yamato followed behind him and glared at his back. "Do it, and I will make sure that you suffer," the blond threatened. Daisuke laughed, not bothering to turn around as he walked straight towards the closet.
"Don't worry about it, dude. I could dress you ugly, and you'd still be drool worthy."
Yamato paused and processed that snippet for a moment before asking, "And why am I supposed to expect you to know that?"
"Because when it comes to you, I am the -master judge- of sexiness."
Yamato sighed. "Never mind," he said with a roll of his eyes. He should have known that Daisuke wouldn't be serious about it.
The younger teen turned away from the closet, his expression serious as he focused on Yamato's face. "When it comes to you, there is very little that you can wear that doesn't make you look wonderful," he said sincerely. Then he smiled and winked. "But we don't want wonderful, we want you to be irresistible."
They stared at each other, and slowly, the blond tilted his head, his voice lowering. "And how are you supposed to judge when I'm irresistible?"
"Easy!" Daisuke said with an arrogant grin. "When I can't control myself any longer and I jump you, you'll be perfect." He turned and went back to the closet, continuing his destruction of Yamato's orderly room as the blond stared at his back.
If Daisuke's eyes hadn't been so serious, his voice so sincere for that one moment, Yamato could have shrugged it off as a joke, but he'd felt the words go straight through him, and he couldn't help but stare at Daisuke as the auburn-haired boy turned back around.
"Okay, put this on." He tossed a black silk shirt at Yamato, who caught it easily. While the blond changed shirts, Daisuke turned back to the closet, digging out a pair of black pants that seemed to have as much shine as the shirt did. "And these," he instructed, tossing the material over his shoulder without looking to see if it found its target.
A moment later, Yamato finished with the snap on the pants. "Okay, I'm dressed," he said. Daisuke turned around, his face unsmiling. He frowned.
"Can you move in that?" he asked the blond, coming to stand in front of Yamato.
"Kind of," Yamato admitted, rolling his shoulders a bit. The material was snug, and he didn't feel comfortable moving too much. "I don't know how much mobility I'd have in this getup."
"Hm," Daisuke murmured consideringly. "If you're on a date, and you like this guy, and you can't like..." He shrugged. "You can't hug and kiss him if you can't get your arms around him comfortably."
Yamato sighed. "And how am I supposed to know if it's comfortable?"
"With the Hug test, of course!" Daisuke cried. Yamato blinked, but didn't have time to react before Daisuke had embraced him. "Hug me!" Daisuke commanded, leaning back and looking up with an infectious grin.
With a laugh, the blond tried to peel the boisterous teen out of his arms, but to no avail. Finally giving in, Yamato wrapped his arms around Daisuke and hugged him close. The material on his shirt pulled, and he winced. "This is not a hugging shirt," he commented decidedly.
Daisuke released him then, offering Yamato a shy smile. Then he walked around the room until he found another shirt. "Next!" he called with a grin, tossing that shirt to Yamato. Again, the blond changed shirts, keeping on the shiny black pants. His eyes stayed on the auburn-haired teen as he changed, watching as Daisuke toed some more of his clothes aside. His friend was definitely insane. To be honest, Yamato was starting to think that he was a little bit cute, too. He smiled, deciding that it couldn't hurt to play along.
Daisuke turned away once more, and only turned back to look when Yamato said that he was ready. Almost instantly, the blond found Daisuke in his arms again, and he laughed and embraced the shorter teen easily.
It ripped in the shoulder, and Daisuke laughed. "You really need to buy new clothes. How long have these things been sitting in the back of your closet?"
His arms still around the auburn-haired boy, Yamato shrugged, ignoring gap in the material over his shoulder. "It's been awhile. I've fallen into the habit of wearing loose shirts and pants," he admitted.
"Mm," Daisuke made a considering sound, resting his head on Yamato's shoulder. "I've got it!" he exclaimed suddenly, pulling away and rushing back to the closet. A white shirt floated out onto the floor, and Yamato picked it up.
Daisuke came away from closet as Yamato was slipping the newest shirt over his head, and for the first time he stopped to watch the blond finish dressing.
"Hug test?" Yamato questioned, opening his arms. Daisuke grinned and laughed, and soon found himself pressed once again against the blond. Feeling more nervous than he let on, Yamato asked jokingly, "Now, how do we test the pants?"
That earned him a laugh that shook Daisuke's entire frame. "We dance, of course!"
Yamato nodded; it seemed like a fine time to put his new-found dancing skills to use.
"Okay. Lead or follow?"
Daisuke snorted. "I have no idea what you're talking about. We dance like this." And he pulled away from Yamato and started jumping in place, his arms waving in rhythm with music that only the younger boy could hear.
The blond laughed, shaking his head as Daisuke bounced around his room. He was slightly disappointed that Daisuke's idea of dancing hadn't matched his, but relieved, as well. His emotions were starting to morph on him, and he didn't know what he would have done if he'd managed to get Daisuke into his arms. It was better that he not have a chance to find out quite so soon, he decided.
The auburn-haired teen finally stopped, putting his hands on his hips while the blond continued to laugh at him. When the laughter stopped as well, he slung a companionable arm over Daisuke's shoulder. "You know what? You may be a dork, but you're a wonderful friend, Dai." To emphasize his point, he ruffled his fingers through Daisuke's hair, his hand lingering just a bit longer than was necessary. Then he let go and punched the boy lightly on the shoulder. "For all of that, I'll make you dinner."
"Thanks," the younger boy said happily. His face was slightly flushed, his eyes sparkling.
For Daisuke, it was worth the sacrifice to his pride to see his friend smile, and he'd be willing to make a fool of himself again for the same results. It didn't hurt to have been in Yamato's arms for those all too brief seconds, either.
-----~~~~~-----
During dinner, I finally got around to asking Daisuke what he and Takeru had talked about yesterday when I dropped my brother off. It seems that Takeru went from having a crush on my best friend to having one on Daisuke's jogress partner. It seems that Takeru has a crush on Ken, but has been keeping quiet out of fear. He really wanted to be close to Ken, but he was scared for a lot of different reasons. First, he was afraid of Ken's reaction... of what would happen if he did something stupid or revealed his affections too soon. Second, he was scared of my reaction should I find out. And third, he was afraid of how our mother would take the news
It's not right that my brother, Holder of Hope, should have so little hope himself. There are times that I wonder if he isn't more depressed than I am in an average day. If he is, he's learned to hide it a lot better than I did. Depression's harder to see in a smile than it is in a frown.
I also found out that Hikari is looking towards the States for love, since my brother is now out of her arena. I haven't met this Wallace, or Willis (I can't remember what Daisuke said his name is), but from what I hear, he's a good enough kid. Of course, I got that from Daisuke, and we'll have to wait and see how true his assessment is.
Then again, I think I'll trust Daisuke's word. He's a smart kid, and he has good instincts. He's a lot better judge of character than I think even he'd give himself credit for. Of course, there are times that his stubbornness may get in the way of his judgement…despite all his flaws and faults, though, he's a good kid.
I'd like to say that I was the image of dignity during his visit, but about the third time he did laps around my room, (after I made the mistake of feeding him something with a high carbohydrate count), I ended up being pulled into his antics.
It was nice, being a child again, even if it didn't last more than a few minutes. Daisuke has a way of bringing out the immature in people. I'm not sure whether it's a positive or negative thing, but after today…I think I'll just say that it was okay.
Before he left, Daisuke suggested that I give Takeru a call tonight. I was a little irked that Daisuke was telling me how to be a brother, but he had a point so I didn't yell at him for it. It took him ten minutes between the time that he said he was leaving to the time that he left. For some odd reason, half of that time was spent tying, untying, and retying his shoes. The other half was spent in reminding me about our shopping trip tomorrow; apparently, jumping around in the pair I was wearing earlier caused the seams to tear…the seams that happened to be right over the crotch of the material. and telling me to call my brother. I called him a dork, tied his show, put his coat into his hands, and shoved him gently into the hallway.
After he left, I phoned Takeru and we had a good long talk. He's not 100% confident, but at least now he can stop worrying about me and mom. I hope everything works out for him. He deserves to be happy. I wonder if it's possible to set him up with Ken before Valentine's day? Daisuke would help…I'll have to ask him tomorrow.
-----~~~~~-----
"How did it go?" Ken asked softly, sitting in his computer chair. On his bed, Daisuke grunted, pressing his face further into the mattress. "That bad, huh?"
"Worse. Things were going great, except that he said I was a dork. Twice" Daisuke muttered. He finally turned his face so that he could look at his best friend. "And it's worse than that, because I was acting like one both times. I swear, Ken, I'm not half as stupid as I act sometimes."
"I know that," Ken said with a small, supportive smile. "You just have a tendency to let your energy get the better of you. It's not a bad thing; in fact, it's rather endearing. It's part of what makes -you- you."
Daisuke groaned. "Don't try to make me feel better. I trashed his room, practically threw myself at him, and then proceeded to prove that I have no shame by hopping around his room like a pogo-stick on crack."
"And what did he do in all of this?" Ken asked.
"He laughed, of course." Daisuke stopped frowning long enough to grin. "I even got him to dance with me."
"When you say dance…" Ken started slowly. "I take it you mean your type of dancing?" Their eyes met, and Daisuke's grin widened in embarrassment. Ken smiled and nodded, knowing his friend all too well. "Hence the reference to the toy on drugs. Daisuke…one of these days…someone you love will appreciate how wonderful you truly are," Ken finally said, trailing off with a smile.
"It's too bad you've got a crush on Takamiya, huh?" Daisuke teased, rolling into a sitting position. "I have it on good authority that -he- has a crush on a certain soccer-playing genius."
Ken smiled gently at the thought. "Think so?"
"Out of the mouth of the batpig himself," affirmed the auburn-haired boy.
Ken looked at him oddly. "Patamon told you?"
"No, silly. Takichi did." Daisuke laughed.
"Daisuke, sometimes, I wonder about you," Ken said, shaking his head.
Daisuke shrugged. "I'm wondering something, too."
"What's that," Ken asked when the boy assumed a thoughtful expression.
"When are you going to feed me?"
I -will- be posting on V-day, no fear! FF.net will be down, but the latest part is available at my site. http://www.baseofoperation.org
Or, you can visit the page for the story itself: http://www.baseofoperation.org/raegan_indulgingheart.html