Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, it's Fox's or some such.

Authors note: Hoorah!! I proclaim. There is now a wonderful person to beta my work, so less typos and sentences are starting to make sense. Who'd have thought. This is killing me, inspiration appears to have deserted me. I might be moving onto another concept soon, Red Cordial is well… I don't know.

Story note: This chapter, well I thought I was on a roll then I hit a wall, yes again, and so it slowed considerably. I hope you enjoy and so on, it may be my last. It seems a fairly relevant spot to leave it, so I may.

Special thanks: Milla, my wonderfully fantastic beta reader, who has made a lot more sense of my rag-tag sentences. Thanks Milla.

Chapter 5 – Wanderings

Logan had just gotten out of the water and was lying on his towel enjoying the pleasant warmth of the sun, the smell of the air and the sensation of the pristine golden sand between his toes. He loved it here. He was on an island off the east coast of Australia, a place that held dear childhood memories. It was immaculately clean and had the added bonus of being on practically the opposite side of the planet from the broken world he had left. He propped himself up on his elbows and what he saw made him smile. Everything was so clean; it took him a while to get used to the purity of the sand and the glass like transparency the water possessed. He saw happy families playing games and building sandcastles, each with an intricate matrix of tunnels through and underneath them. Out beyond the surf he could see the trawlers moored, their bellies full of fresh prawns and sleeping fishermen. Past the boats he could see the same old rock that had always been there, covered in a multitude of bird life and surrounded by recreational diving vessels. It was a perfect day.

He looked over to his side and everything he had just seen was forgotten. Next to him embodied all that there was to his happiness, something so wonderful that it wouldn't have mattered if he were back in Seattle with the rain, crime and the filth. Next to him quietly laid his happiness. Next to him laid a beach towel… a beach towel that belonged to Max. Logan sat there looking at the towel and reminiscing on the past few days. It was only three days ago that Logan told Max he loved her. It was only three days ago that Max reciprocated. It was just two days ago that Max agreed to come away with him. It was only yesterday they left Seattle and spent an entire wonderful 15 hours on a plane together, doing nothing but holding hands, talking and staring into each other's eyes. It was only this morning when they arrived that Logan bore witness to the most amazing site he had ever seen, the brightness and joy Max displayed when she saw where they were and how magical this place was.

Logan was still daydreaming when he noticed that there was a thin gap of sand between his towel and Max's. He delicately dragged hers over until it slightly overlapped his.

He turned his head and again all previous thought was forgotten, and what he was doing stopped immediately. Max was coming out of the water.

Logan sat there dumbfounded; watching her walk towards him was hypnotic. His weren't the only eyes following her he noticed. Nearly ever male on the beach and a large quantity of the female population were staring, awestruck by the beauty of this bikini-clad creature.

"Hey," Max said, as she finally made it to where Logan was. He was torn watching her approach, not sure if he wanted to watch her walk toward him all day or for her to be with him instantly.

"Nice swim?" Logan asked. It was mostly rhetorical since Max had been in the water for over 2 hours and every time Logan went in she was zooming around him like a little kid and telling him how beautiful it was and how much fun she was having.

"Yeah, the water's great," Max exclaimed as she lay down on her stomach. He had never heard her sound so relaxed, it pleased him immensely.

Logan lay down again and closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the sun from blinding him.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?" Logan turned his head on the side and looked at Max. Their faces only inches apart. She smiled at him.

"Can you see my barcode?" she asked him, not really worried; it was just as a matter of interest.

He sat up so he could have a good look from all angles just to make sure. When he looked down his mouth actually hung open, he couldn't think and the barcode was very quickly forgotten. In front of him lay the completely naked back of Max, with beads of salt water glistening in the sunlight. He knew she had a beautiful back – a beautiful entire body actually – but the difference of not having the thin piece of swimmer cord across the middle was astounding. He was sitting there gaping when Max brought him back to his senses.

"Logan? Can you see my barcode?" she asked again, a little annoyed that he was taking so long to answer.

"A-Ah… No," Logan stammered.

"Max, did you know that the bottom half of your top is undone?" Logan wasn't being cheeky – well maybe a little – he was merely wondering if she had noticed, as it could be an embarrassing situation for her later when she turned over and discovered that her top didn't go with her. Logan knew it would be fun to watch but he would end up paying for it since he saw her back and should have told her.

"Oh, yeah. That's what you do to get an even tan isn't it?" Max replied, a little embarrassed.

"Yeah, just checking," Logan replied as he lay down again. He couldn't help but think why she needed that part of her back to be tanned, and a smile spread across his face.

They lay there for 10 minutes or so before Max started fidgeting around.

"I'm hungry, Logan" Max said finally.

"I thought you might be soon. Do you want to go back to the house and get some lunch?" Logan asked. Of course he knew the answer and was already sitting up and gathering all their gear.

"Yep." Max was by now standing with her towel over her shoulder and shorts on.

They walked off the beach and up the hill along the road that lead to Cale holiday house.

When they got there Logan went over and turned the hose on and handed it to Max.

"Here you go, you can wash the sand off your feet with this," Logan explained.

He couldn't help but watch her hosing her feet and shins down. He felt ashamed the entire walk back because he couldn't help from constantly looking at her, she was just so incredible.

'It's alright, you love her, she loves you. You're allowed to look.' Logan thought on that for a moment then grinned a little. He was, wasn't he?

His pleasant reverie was rudely interrupted by Max; she had decided it would be very funny to turn the hose on him. The cold water startled him.

Max had been sitting there a while, on Logan's lap just looking at him. She knew he wasn't in any real danger; he was just tired and had a nasty knock to the head. She could let him regain consciousness himself. She was enjoying this newfound intimacy with Logan a lot…it was scary, but worth it. She wriggled a little closer and laid her head on her arm that was over his shoulder, giving a perfect view of his profile. He appeared to be having a dream, a nice dream, since he was smiling. Max hoped she was in there somewhere and maybe even a contributor to the smile.

'What's going to happen with Logan and me now?' she thought. It was a good time to think about Logan now, since he was unconscious and wouldn't distract her, and because she was sitting on him, that helped.

'Are we a couple or whatever? I'm pretty sure he would like that. I'm pretty sure I want that.' Max was making some good progress, but then she hit a topic she didn't expect to crop up so soon.

'I know I like him. I need him. Do I love him?' The last bit stunned her. Even though it was in the safety of her mind, it was still an embarrassing and exposing thing to think. Max wasn't too sure what love was, she had never seen it or experienced it; however, she knew it was something with Logan because she had never felt this way before.

'Can I love anything? I might not be able to.' She was getting worried; her Manticore upbringing hadn't prepared or designed her for something like this.

'I love my bike and I really love food but that isn't the same is it? It's the same word but it's a completely different thing.' Max was getting completely confused.

"Max." Logan was speaking in his little sleep, Max noticed that when he said her name his smile doubled and he appeared to glow a little.

Max suddenly knew the answer.

'I do love him.' She couldn't believe it, a huge weight suddenly lifted from her shoulders, and all she had done was admit to herself that she loved Logan.

'Oh, god. What if he doesn't feel the same way? Should I tell him? There's no way he could love me. I know he likes me but I can't be loved I'm a science experiment.' The weight had returned, and it was heavier now. Max also realized that Logan had been out of it for a little too long. So to stop brain damage she tried the rouse him.

"Logan? Logan?" Apparently saying his name wasn't going to work. She was about the slap him, which had always worked for her. Then she recoiled disgusted with herself. How could she hit him when he had got such a fright when she joked about it a little earlier? She really was a monster after all.

Max noticed the hose she had been using to wash his hair, so grabbed it and turned it on his face. She also decided to get off his lap, something she did with great regret but at the moment she felt Logan wouldn't be happy to wake up and find a genetically engineered killing machine sitting on his lap.

"Stop it Max," Logan spluttered playfully. He thought this was still part of his dream, and he had no reason not to since it had been so vivid. Max took this the wrong way and thought Logan was angry with her since she had been expecting him to be.

"Sorry," she said sullenly as she turned the hose off and put it down. Logan was suddenly confused by his surroundings, and the way Max was looking at him. Well not at him, but down near her toes.

"Max, you're dressed," Logan stated. He hadn't really meant to say that but the transition from dream to reality was still being processed.

"Of course I'm dressed Logan," Max replied, a little upset. Now she knew that's all he wanted her for; there was no way he could love her.

"No, you're right, of course you are, I just had a… dream," Logan replied, wanting to throw terrific, wonderful or spectacular in, but decided against it. Max stood there. She didn't know what to say or do. Logan thought about what he had said and decided to elaborate a little.

"Actually it was a pretty nice dream, I was at the beach." Logan looked up at Max, rubbing the back of his head. Max couldn't help but notice Logan sitting in front of her, no shirt and with water and shampoo all over his shoulders and finely toned chest and stomach. Her mouth opened a little in appreciation. Logan was sitting looking at Max; the same smile, glow and with a dazed look on his face. Max relaxed a little and berated herself again for jumping the gun, although there was still a slight lingering doubt. Nevertheless she had now recovered some of her spunk and playfulness.

"So why wasn't I wearing any clothes in this dream of yours?" Max asked seriously, although she couldn't help but express a slight mock pout.

"You had clothes on, just not as many. You were at the beach with me," Logan explained whilst reddening considerably. It was a very embarrassing thing to admit to be dreaming about someone, especially a girl and especially a girl that you liked.

They were in that position for a while, Max trying to imagine herself at a beach with Logan but finding it difficult since the small bit of filthy sand in the restricted area at the local waterfront kept springing to mind. Logan was becoming more and more embarrassed, knowing what Max would be thinking about and hoping desperately that the chair he was sitting on would somehow swallow him up or act as an effective camouflage.

Suddenly it hit her. 'Logan said he was going to tell me something and it sounded very important.' Max thought. She knew she didn't want to think about it too much, because it could very well be something she wouldn't enjoy at all.

"Ah, Logan. Just before you drifted off to dreaming about me in a swimsuit you said you had to tell me something." Max enjoyed saying this, and she didn't really mind the idea of Logan looking at her. She knew she enjoyed looking at him and there was always a hope that he might like her a little more, or think she was normal because she looked normal. Well, it was Max's opinion that she looked normal. Logan did enjoy looking at her but when he did he couldn't help but be reminded she wasn't normal. There was no way that someone that amazingly beautiful could be normal. She was special to him, not a freak, just special. Max also enjoyed the way Logan turned from red to scarlet when she said that.

'He had been dreaming about me in a swimsuit.'

Logan freaked when she said this, the chair wasn't going to hide him. He could feel his face burning and he wanted to get out of the situation as soon as possible. There was no way in the world he would be able to say what he was originally going to say before passing out. He made up something else, and he felt weak and a little pathetic for backing out.

"Yeah, there's something for dessert," Logan said, slowly standing up.

Max was incredibly disappointed. She was happy to hear there was more to eat but was hoping Logan was going to say something a little more 'special' than that. She was pining for a request to have a date, or something said sweetly to her. And something she didn't really expect at all and wasn't too sure how she'd react to: an 'I love you'. It would have at least removed that niggling sensation she had.

"Cool," Max finally replied, smiling sweetly.

Logan had grabbed the towel and was drying his upper body, removing all the suds and water.

The movements of his arms and the way all the muscles responded and became infinitely more defined transfixed Max, and she was again standing in a state of awed shock, her mouth slightly agape.

"Max?" Logan's voice called from the end of a very long tunnel.

"Huh?" Max wasn't really paying attention. She was too transfixed with the sight in front of her and she hadn't even noticed that he had stopped drying himself.

"Max," Logan said a little louder this time, a smile in his voice.

Max was shocked out of her daze and became immediately aware of what she was doing and how obvious it was. Blushing deeply, she responded to Logan.

"What?" Her response was quick and snappy; not angry, just embarrassed with the situation.

"Thought I lost you there for a bit, you seemed to be in a daze or something. Are you feeling alright?" Logan asked. He was a little playful but genuinely concerned, since the only times he had seen Max space out like this was before a seizure.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Max was still in a state of intense embarrassment.

Before Logan could respond she spoke again, regaining a little composure but still pink of cheek.

"So are you going to feed me or just stand there half-naked?" Max asked auspiciously.

"Well, I was thinking about it. Although I dare not incur the wrath of a hungry Max," he jested.

"You're damn right," was her response as she headed out the door and toward the kitchen.

"So what culinary miracle do you have for me now? You usually don't make me dessert, so this must be a special occasion." Max was saying this playfully, again having a small dig at Logan for holding out on dessert so often, until what she had said sunk in. 'This is a special occasion isn't it? Or it was supposed to be until that whole thing with Cindy and me nearly killing someone.'

Logan had just been smiling, bemused with the direction of Max's statement. 'Of course she's complaining about food again.' Then when she said this must be a special occasion the embarrassment of earlier returned. Bling was right, it was different this time. He knew that himself when he had prepared the cheesecake; their dessert. Logan hoped it would be subtle, but Max in her usual way just jumped right on in.

So now they were back to the uncomfortable silence, sitting there eating the apricot nectar cheesecake. Max was so nervous from her statement and the sudden formal air to the evening that she hadn't even asked what it was she was being fed, she just accepted it and began eating.

Logan couldn't help but replay images from that night and the night before, the mindset and mood the dream had put him in was still hanging around and strange as it was pleasant, he still looked up every now and then and expected Max to be wearing a bikini. A small curl started to form on his lips, the memories real and imagined were too overpowering, and he couldn't help but be happy. He noticed Max was still nervous, she was very quiet – a precious rarity – and she was eating her food slowly, something else that was very uncommon. Logan was surprised at how cute she looked, trying to avoid looking at him, glancing around the room in a wide arc that excluded him. An idea came to mind, something that would probably break the ice, again. Logan thought of all the times they needed to break the ice tonight; more than he has ever needed to before with a woman. 'Max is different.' he reminded himself, and his smile increased and the idea was too delicious to pass up.

"Anyway, you weren't in a swimsuit…" Logan stated casually, eating his cheesecake. Max was shocked out of her embarrassed daze and finally looked at Logan, unsure of what he meant by that statement and what it was leading to.

"You were in a bikini, it's completely different," Logan finished triumphantly, like someone who had made an excellent correction to a very important statement. He went back to his cheesecake, apparently unbothered by what he had just said, but shining pink on the inside.

"Oh, really?" Max asked playfully, looking at Logan straight on with a large smile on her face.

"Really," Logan replied, putting his fork down and crossing his arms slightly, joining in with Max's stare. Of course as it always was, they didn't know what to do now and the phone wasn't ringing. More awkward silence was on its way.

Logan was in too good a mood, still left over from the dream and Max sitting on him – he really enjoyed that – to succumb to the stillness that was steadily encroaching on their evening. He noticed Max was looking downwards again and very shy. 'God she is pretty,' Logan thought, as he took a moment to reflect upon this girl.

"Right, up you get, enough of this," Logan said suddenly, quite seriously as he himself stood. He was looking at Max sternly and was quite serious with what he had just said.

'Oh god, he is getting bored with me already, frustrated because I don't know what to do. Why do I have to be so different?' Max was sad and panicking.

"Logan, I'm sorry…" Max began pleading, but Logan cut her off with a raised hand.

"Come," he said, as he walked off into the other room.

By the time Max had walked in – she had taken a few minutes to prepare herself for what was to come – all the furniture had been moved.

"Logan" Max began again, this time beseechingly. Logan didn't say anything, he walked over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her to a particular position in the room. To an onlooker it would have appeared rough; however, there was such tenderness and soothing in his firm touch that Max could just see herself daring anyone to accuse Logan of mistreatment. Logan turned on his heel, happy with Max's position and started to walk off. Max saw this as an excellent chance to apologise.

"Logan, I'm sorry I'm so different. Please don't give up on me. I just haven't done this before so I don't know what I should be doing. I don't mean to be so boring." Max finished head bowed, amazed at what she had just confessed but then realising that if she didn't express herself properly right now she would probably never see him again.

"What?" Logan half yelled from the other room as he swiftly made his way back to Max. She took this the wrong way and thought he was angry with her now. Logan had just arrived in the room as she began to speak and walk toward her window.

"It's just…" She hadn't even moved a step when Logan interrupted her.

"I didn't say you could move," he interjected, moving toward her slowly.

"What?" Max asked astounded and a little pissed. She couldn't believe he would treat her like that, like a child.

"I put you in that spot for a purpose." Logan spoke softly, as he finally closed the distance and now stood directly in front of Max, so close that nearly every part of their bodies touched.

It was then Max heard the music softly starting, and she immediately felt giddy and much better about herself and Logan.

"Dance with me," Logan simply whispered into her ear.

"Okay," Max squeaked, nervous as any schoolgirl.

Logan slowly and carefully wrapped his arms around her, as if she were likely to crumble to dust at any moment. Max leaned into Logan, again getting as much of his scent as she could. She smiled at how gentle Logan was being.

"You know I won't break, I'm pretty tough," she said to Logan, smiling and laughing slightly. She was immediately rewarded as Logan hugged her tighter and placed his chin over her head. Max felt perfectly safe and snuggled in. The music was soft and gentle, someone singing, but she didn't really care because the mood was perfect.

"So, why dancing?" Max asked in a slight whisper, but the whisper belied her emotions. Logan could tell she was very happy, relaxed and comfortable. Logan was attempting to think of something witty to say; play the rich playboy a little bit more for the fun of it. 'Because I just saw this fine lady sitting across from me, obviously not interested in my cooking, so I thought I could wow her with my abilities to cut a rug.' Logan was pretty sure that was about right, nailed perfectly the mood he was in: playful, happy and willing to show off. Since he had something great to show off. However, as his lips were parting, the words on their way out, he changed his mind.

"I figured it was my turn to ask." Logan smiled big as he looked into Max's eyes. There was something about her he had never seen before. She made him happy, he felt complete, and as stupid as it sounded to say, that's how he felt, whole.

The music gently changed into another song. This time it was classical, slow, whimsical and perfect waltzing music.

Max could feel her head slipping off Logan's shoulder, and she tried to remedy this but noticed that his body was moving away from hers.

'What? That can't be it.' She realised soon that he wasn't breaking apart to stop dancing, just creating a gap. His arms had moved from around her back, one to her waist the other taking her arm and extending it in front of them.

Max felt very special when she finally figured what was going on. She had never danced like this – not physically anyway – but this was special. She also realised that she had no idea what to do.

"Logan I don't know how to do this," Max said quietly, hoping he would teach her because she really didn't want this to stop.

Logan smiled at her.

"Sure you do." With that he took off, slowly making the star shapes he had been taught at school when he was seven; some things never change.

Logan pace suddenly quickened and before long they were zooming around the entire flat, being snooty and turning their noses up at the imaginary onlookers and having a terrific laugh. The song finished and so did they, slowing until they were standing in front of each other again. Max couldn't take it any more, and she leapt at Logan and held him tight, burying her face back into his shoulder.

"Better." He heard her mumble from the muffled position she had taken.

Logan had been transported to a new plane of happiness, gently stroking the top of Max's head, and all of a sudden the moment seemed right.

"Max, I meant to tell you something earlier." As he said this, he bent back a little but still had his arm around her so she knew he wasn't leaving again. He gently placed his other hand under her chin and directed her gaze at him. The eyes were big and expectant, worried and scared, happy. She was happy, it was the perfect time. Logan stared into the infiniteness of her beautiful hazel eyes.

"I was going to ask you, if this could be a date." 'Damn, that's not it Cale. Pull yourself together and tell her before you lose your chance.'

Max couldn't help from being a little disappointed; she knew Logan wanted to say more. His eyes betrayed him, staring down at her with such intensity, such purpose. She was still flattered and very pleased with the question, if not slightly relieved, because now she wouldn't have to ask that later.

"Yeah, that'd be nice. I was kinda thinking the same thing," she admitted shyly, looking down at his chest.

'Right Cale, tell her, tell her now.' Logan was psyching himself up like never before, like his life depended on it. He speculated that his life probably did depend on it, on her.

"Max, there's something else," he spat out. Now there was no turning back. As soon as Logan spoke Max's head snapped up and she looked straight at him, into him.

'I knew there was something else.'

Logan felt his legs go weak. Made sense he thought, nerves like this didn't come around every day. It was only when the sensation in his legs started to fade and the effort required to merely lock his knees in place increased, that he realised something was wrong. 'There's no way she can love me now, not that I'm a cripple again, damn legs!'

"Max, I was… I…" Max was getting very excited and nervous. This was it, he was going to tell her that he loved her… well, liked her at least.

"Max, I… think you should leave," Logan said gruffly, obviously not happy.

"What?" Max asked, stunned to the core.

"It's just… just not right. You should go before you do something you regret," Logan said, very slowly letting go of Max, it was killing him more than the pain in his legs as they were being asked to move.

Logan managed to move back a whole step before stopping, knowing he couldn't move anymore and remain vertical.

Max stood there by herself, only half a foot away from Logan but never feeling more isolated.

"Fine!" She yelled.

"How could you?" she begged, full of sorrow as she walked away. Away forever.

Logan stood there and watched her go, a stoic expression playing his features. It was the result from a mix of determination not to fall over and the breaking of his spirit watching her leave. He knew she wouldn't be coming back, not from something like this. 'Well there she goes, you won't see her again, you know. Yeah, but it's better for her this way, not to have some cripple to hang around with. You can't be romantically linked with a guy in a wheelchair.' He was trying to make himself feel better about his decision. It wasn't really working too well since it was just making him more depressed. His conscious was also trying to make itself known. 'Call out to her, you love her. What does it matter if you can't walk?'. 'It matters because she was never this happy when I was in the chair.' The point hit home, shut up his conscious and made him feel even more miserable. He heard the door close and he broke, legs buckling and spirit shattering into more pieces than the table he had just put his fist through.

As much as Max thought she hated Logan right now, she knew it was a lie. If she hated him it wouldn't hurt so much to walk away from him. All she felt was dirty and inhuman; she was, after all, not even human. 'Well mostly human,' she heard herself saying. 'Ha,' she thought bitterly, knowing now that if you weren't all human, you just weren't human at all. And that's what it came down to, the fact had finally dawned on Logan, and he finally understood, standing there with her, that she just wasn't a nice normal girl, she was a freak and she was cold. A coldness like she had never felt before. It started when Logan had pulled back, when he said he didn't think this was a good idea. The cold had stabbed her in the stomach violently then spread to the rest of her body, seemingly only to return and weigh heavily in her chest. Then as he separated their bodies, the cold attacked from the outside, and there was a great vastness, a loneliness now his body was no longer wrapped around hers.

She started to slowly walk to the door, being desperately quiet in case Logan decided to call out and tell her it was all a joke. She'd kick his arse but at least she could kiss him better afterwards. That thought, the thought of happiness like she had never experienced before, a happiness brought about by the man who had turned her down and whom she was walking away from, made her terribly upset. She didn't want to cry, to break down right there and bawl like a little baby, but it's how she felt and she could feel the sting at her eyes. She had to keep herself together because if she slipped at all it would all come out.

As she opened the door, the magnificent redwood door, whose inside she would never see again, she felt the hot sting and a tear rolled down her cheek. Halfway through the open door, her shoulders shook involuntary; it had come and she couldn't stop it. Quickly she slammed the door behind her and sat on the floor, leaning against the door, curled up in a protective ball, trying to recover some the warmth that had been constantly draining from her body. It was no good; nothing was as warm as Logan.