Disclaimer-I don't own Passions

Note-IYOBWH means Insert your own bad words here. Please do.

Warning-TURN BACK RIGHT NOW, KAY FANS!!!!!

Kay, Miguel, Charity, and John

Sailor J-chan: Hello, Passions fans, and welcome back to my show! Now, before we move on, let's see how the others are doing! *Pops in tape*

*Camera zooms in on Grace and Sam's door, with a Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob*

Sailor J-chan: Not going to go there….

*Camera zooms in on Ivy sitting in a jail cell, while Eve and David poke her with sticks*

Sailor J-chan: *laughs for hours and has to start a new show* Now, on to the next problem. Please welcome Kay Bennett, Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald, Charity…Bennett, I guess, and John Hastings!

*Kay, Miguel, John, and Charity walk out*

Sailor J-chan: *Gets glazed look in her eyes when she sees Kay* No! IT'S THE SPAWN OF SATAN!!!! *Attacks Kay* Die you evil IYOBWH, die!

*Security guards pull Sailor J-chan off Kay. Kay has multiple cuts and bruises and a huge lump on her forehead*

Kay: Look at all the pretty stars…

Charity: *Dumps a bucket of water over Kay*

Sailor J-chan: *Throws a match on Kay, which is put out by Kay's wet clothes* Darn it! Why couldn't you throw oil or nail polish remover on her????!!!!!

Kay: Charity, where'd you get that bucket of water?

Charity: I don't know…it just showed up next to me…

Sailor J-chan: *After doing her 3-second therapy session* Sit, please!

*Kay, Miguel, Charity, and John sit*

Sailor J-chan: *Flips through cue cards* Now, Charity and Miguel are engaged, but Kay wants Miguel and John wants Charity. John hasn't made any moves on charity, but Kay used the forces of evil to get Charity's essence and seduce Miguel into bed, and now she is pregnant.

Kay: I did not!

Sailor J-chan: *Picks up a Holy Bible and puts it on Kay's lap* Swear on this.

Kay: What are you, kidding, I'm not gonna swear on this!

Sailor J-chan: Because you know you are lying! You used evil to get the man you claim you love! If you love him so much, why can't you let him be happy?

Kay: He'll be happier with me than with that goody-two-shoes over there! *Jerks her thumb at Charity*

Sailor J-chan: I think Charity will have something to say to that…

Charity: *People can see her rage building up, and finally she snaps and Evil Charity comes out* You little IYOBWH, how dare you seduce Miguel into sleeping with you? You need to let it go and face reality and realize that Miguel DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!! I'll tell you what, you better keep the IYOBWH away from my fiancee, you little IYOBWH, or you'll see what Goody-Two-Shoes can do! I don't even think that's Miguel's baby you're carrying, you little slut! *Reverts back to Nice Charity and clasps her hands over her mouth* Oh my God, did I just do that? I used a run-on sentence and I told Kay off! That felt…pretty good, actually! I should do that more often.

Sailor J-chan: Yeah, you should! *Wipes tear from her eye* (Chokes up) That was so beautiful!

Charity: Come on, Miguel, let's get outta here. We have a wedding to plan. *Charity grabs Miguel's arm and yanks him offstage. There, they wave to Antonio, who is still waiting, and he waves back*

Sailor J-chan: Now. *Walks over to Kay, who stands up* I'll tell you what, Kay, you need to stop being such a punk kid and realize that Grace loves you just as much as she loves Charity! She's just disappointed in you, and you think that means she doesn't love you? Hell, you're stupid to think that. Like my sister said, your mother is gonna be the only one to stand by you when everyone else leaves. Her disappointment in you is NOT hate! She's trying to help you be a better person. You know what I think? You're desperate for attention. Well, if you want attention so much, why don't you stop getting other people's fiancees to knock you up and go out with John?

Kay: *Is speechless for a moment* Y'know…that's really not such a bad idea…

Sailor J-chan: And another thing…wait. Did you just say that you're ACTUALLY gonna go out with John?

Kay: Well, I guess…if he lets me.

John: Well, I've practically given up on Charity, so I might as well start dating again.

Sailor J-chan: *Her turn to be speechless for a moment* Well, if you both want to I can't stop you…And I really hope you'll be a better person after this, Kay.

*Kay and John walk away, planning their 1st date*

Sailor J-chan: *Turns to audience* You should know by now I'm not a huge Kay/Miguel fan. I was so PO'd at Kay. I can't stand punk kids like that. If you flame me I don't care and if you liked it, well, all the better! I'm outta time anyway, so, bye! *Waves*