Disclaimer-Passions, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, DBZ
Note-TURN BACK NOW, GWEN FANS! There's also a little Ethan-bashing
Theresa, Ethan, and Gwen
Sailor J-chan: Hello, and welcome back! Let's see how Kay, Miguel, Charity, and John are doing! *Pops in tape*
Charity: *Is flipping through wedding magazines while Miguel holds up a HELP sign*
*Cut to next scene*
*Kay and John are making out. Kay sees the camera and puts her hand in front of it*
Sailor J-chan: All right, now we welcome Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald, Gwen Hotchkiss, and Ethan Crane-Bennet!
*Theresa, Gwen, and Ethan walk out and take seats*
Sailor J-chan: *Whistles innocently as she snaps a rubber band at Gwen*
Gwen: Hey!
Sailor J-chan: All righty, then, here we go! To put it in laymen's terms, Theresa wants Ethan, but Gwen is married to Ethan. There, no long, drawn-out history of their problems. It's a little too long to get into.
Theresa: Look, the only reason Ethan married Gwen was because he got her pregnant.
Gwen: That's not true!
Theresa: *Jumps up* Yes it is! You're a whore, just like your mother!
*Gwen and Theresa proceed to beat each other up. Sailor J-chan and Security Guards pull them apart. Gwen has a scar across her right eye and a clump of hair ripped out. Theresa has a black-and-blue right eye and is screaming incoherently*
Ethan: Uh…
Sailor J-chan: All right, you know what I think? I think Theresa loves Ethan more than Gwen does.
Gwen: THAT IS NOT TRUE!!
Theresa: Yes, it is!
*Theresa and Gwen proceed to beat each other up again, and they are pulled apart again. Gwen's face is all scratched up and Theresa's sleeve is ripped*
Sailor J-chan: I also think it's up to Ethan.
Ethan: Uh…
*Who Wants To Be A Millionaire music starts playing in the background*
Ethan: Uh…
Sailor J-chan: UGH! YOU ARE THE MOST INDECISIVE MAN I'VE EVER MET! *Whacks him on the head* WILL YOU PICK ONE FOR GOD'S SAKE SO I CAN END THIS STUPID EPISODE AND MAKE-OUT WITH HANK????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ethan: Uh…
Sailor J-chan: AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! *Runs her head into wall*
Regis: *Pops in* I'm gonna sue you for using my music!
Sailor J-chan: Can't. Look at the disclaimer!
Regis: AAAWWWW! *Disappears*
Sailor J-chan: *Turns back to look at Ethan, who quickly stops making out with Theresa and blushes* Ha! I knew it! You love Theresa!
Ethan: I have since time began.
Sailor J-chan: Than why did you go 'Uh…' like a moron for 5 minutes?
Ethan: To annoy you.
Sailor J-chan: AAAAHHHH!!! *Proceeds to jump Ethan and beat him up. Security guards pull her off him. Ethan is un-scratched. Well, nothing can ever phase Ethan…*
Gwen: And what about our baby, Ethan?
Ethan: Oh, who are you kidding, Gwen? You aren't pregnant! You would've been much fatter by now if you were!
Gwen: *Lip quivers* WAAAAHHHHH!!! MY EX-HUSBAND IS MEAN TO ME!!!!!! *Runs off to hook-up with Yamcha from Dragonball Z, and all Yamcha fans and Gwen fans are satisfied*
Theresa: By the way, Sailor J-chan, have you seen Antonio? We're worried about him…
Sailor J-chan: Oh, he's backstage! Don't worry about him.
Ethan: Well, Sailor J-chan, I picked which woman I loved. You can end the episode and make-out with Hank now.
Sailor J-chan: YAY!!! *Ends episode and runs off to make-out with Hank while Theresa gets a divorce from Julian and Ethan gets a divorce from Gwen*