Chapter Five: Losses



That night we slipped out of the dwarven castle, through a secret back door and what appeared to be an underground base. Things spiraled past my eyes so quickly I could barely take them in; everything was so new, so foreign. We ended up traveling on foot across the barren plains of the haunted Underground. I could see that the land surrounding was nothing like the Land I claimed as my home - this ground beneath my feet was cold and barren, the monsters wild and cruel. We traveled fast and reached the tower by the next day. We hid in wait until King Giott's tanks rolled over the hills. Those dwarven tanks were amazing machines, like enormous lethal works of art. I couldn't stop staring until Cecil reminded me - gently - that we had to use the distraction to obtain entrance to t he Tower of Bab-Il. But I immediately turned and followed Cecil - that was my purpose here.

The tower was, of course, packed with monsters, and I found myself fitting back in with a fighting group, taking turns as we fought, watching each others' backs. My magic was a powerful weapon here, much more than my whip - although that came in handy a couple times as well when I was caught off guard. The Tower itself was the most bizarre, grotesque landscape I had seen yet. The entire thing was floor after floor of machinery, processed walls and blinking lights. It never stopped, it never slept. We didn't either.

Towards the top of the tower we met the scientist in charge of the tower - Dr Lugae - and his crazed robots. He set beast after beast against us and then morphed himself into some dark twisted being; we battled back bravely and defeated them all. As he crumbled to the ground, however, his pride made him spit out:

"It doesn't matter. This tower ...connects the Underground ..and the Overworld."

I hung my head. I had known this but forgotten - I had learned it when I was a very child, studying the secrets of the past on Asura's lap. But - he continued -

"Rubicant ...has taken the crystals to the upper world already!" He gasped, and rolled over, chuckling to himself. "And I shall annihilate the dwarves with my Super Cannon!"

In shock, Cecil ran to the man, demanding more - but Lugae was dead. Cecil took a small key from his pocket and stood, staring at it.

"Cecil," I said. "The dwarves - they're in danger."

"Right!" Yang said. "We have to stop that Cannon!"

"We need to destroy it," Kain said in a low voice.

"But where -" Cecil stopped and looked down at the key he held in his hand. Three floors below us had been a locked room -

He broke into a run and we all followed, the sounds of our footsteps echoing in the strangely silent tower.

Cecil fumbled with the key, throwing the door wide. In the room beyond we heard a faint whine - the sound of machinery awakening. A handful of tiny little gnomes - I did not recognize their species - sat at a screen full of controls, giggling giddily.

"Goodbye, dwarves!" One of them flipped a switch; the automated whine grew in intensity. They high-fived each other.

Cecil stepped into the room, blade held high. "You fun is over," he said menacingly. The creatures spun around, startled at the voice - and startled even more at the sight of the gleaming blade Cecil carried.

"What?" one of the beasts cried; "How did you get in here?"

A second beast gave an angry wail and flung itself at Cecil's head.

A well-aimed arrow pierced its body before it hit its target; Rosa quickly replaced the arrow on the string as the creature landed with a dull thud and disintegrated. The rest of the beasts shrieked and attacked us in a storm. We made short work of them; Yang's claws, my flame, and Cecil's blade. The battle was over shortly.

The room lay littered with the bodies of the small gnomes; but one of them, clawing desperately on the floor, reached up to the control panel - Rosa nocked an arrow, but - it flipped a switch with all its might, breaking the tip in the process.

The arrow pierced its arm as it fell to the floor. Its beady eyes gleamed up at us, coated in the Madness I was starting to recognize. "Now ...no one can stop the Super Cannon..."

Cecil gave a little gasp of surprise. There was a brief moment of silence, then Yang stepped forward, peering at the control panel, an odd look on his face. He reached out, his hand softly brushing the controls. He turned back and even I could see the steel in his eyes.

"Yang?" Rosa's voice was just as soft and just as steely. "What are you doing?"

"Go on." His gaze was hard. "I'll take care of this. Get out of here!"

My eyes widened. "No, don't!" I cried, realizing what he was planning. "It'll explode!"

"GO!" Yang's face contorted suddenly, and he came at us with some sort of flying kick, knocking us all outside. I'm not really sure what happened - all I remember was finding myself outside the door, hearing the click as it locked, pounding on it with my fists and crying as I heard Yang inside frantically dismantling the equipment.

"Yang!" Cecil pulled me away from the door and slammed his whole weight against it; it wouldn't budge. He tried it again.

"Cecil. Everyone. Thank you for everything you have done for me and for Fabul." Yang's voice was muffled through the door and my sobs.

"Open the door!" Kain howled, hurling his own weight into the door along with Cecil. The entire room shuddered, but the door remained shut.

"Yang, please don't do this!" Rosa had knelt at my side, gathering me into her arms. She too was crying.

"Tell my wife ..." there was a brief pause. I imagined Yang crouched over the machinery, grasping wires that would disconnect the machine, causing an explosion which would surely claim his life. "Tell my wife I will always be with her. Tell her ...to live for me!"

I dove for the door, screaming, fighting against Rosa's arms as she held me away from it. I could hear Cecil bellowing, and then -

The explosion shook the entire room that had once held the Super Cannon. Cecil and Kain were thrown to the ground, but the building held fast. There was a terrible metal shudder and then - silence. Nothing. Cecil climbed to his feet and tried the door; the force from the explosion had fused the door shut. He fell to his knees in despair.

We have lost him. I softly unfolded Rosa's arms and sat on the ground, my head in my hands. Someone else I could not protect. But how can I protect someone from what they themselves will do? Yang only wanted to protect us, and the dwarves...

It was as if Cecil had heard my thought. "The dwarves," he said softly. "We should go. We need to tell Giott what has happened."

We climbed our way through the tower again, following its maze of corridors to the base; surprisingly, there were no monsters, as if the explosion had triggered something, and they all had gone into hiding. But as we grew nearer to the base I began to think it was something else. Some dark feeling - the presence of dark magic - crept into my head. You're just being morbid, I said to myself. There's darkness near, that part of my mind replied. To which a third part, still in mourning, said sharply, there's darkness everywhere.

We had almost reached the base of the tower when something happened. The lights began to dim and the tower itself began to shake. Cecil stopped in his tracks, hand clenched around the hilt of his sword. In the coming darkness we could see nothing; the small bridge upon which we stood was shivering as well.

Then a voice from the darkness: "You never cease to amuse me."

"Golbez." Cecil's voice was hard, and as dark as the air around us. I strained my eyes wildly, looking for the source, but the sound emanated from the walls about us, creeping over our skin with its dark power.

"While the cat is away ..." Golbez's voice actually did sound amused. "This is all for play, then? Farewell."

There was a shudder, and the bridge under our feet gave way.

For a second I felt nothing. Then I felt myself falling, air rushing past me, body wheeling in the dark air. I recognized that we somehow had fallen out of the Tower and were heading for the treacherous ground of the Underworld. I heard Rosa's shrill scream and turned, hitting my head against someone, also falling. Kain's dark arm reached out and pulled me close. "Here," he said, holding me with one arm, reaching for Cecil's plummeting form with the other. "We must - perhaps ..."

For a moment we were all united, falling through the air like a human meteor. Then there was a whirring sound, a deep coughing motor, and something rushing towards us; I buried my face in Kain's armor and screamed, knowing we were going to collide.

I came to moments later; Rosa had cast a gentle spell to awaken me. I sat ...on the deck of an airship! Rosa's kind face peered over me, and I shifted myself off of Kain's inert form and allowed Rosa to quickly wake him as well. Behind me I heard a gruff voice:

"...that was certainly close."

"Thank you, Cid." Cecil sounded as shaken as I felt. I turned to him and gave him a small smile from where I sat on the deck. Behind me I felt Kain awaken and sit up as well.

The man beside Cecil was strange-looking, with thick hair and a thicker beard, and what appeared to be a pair of goggles currently resting in the mess of hair and helmet on his head. He looked over us and said suddenly; "Where's Yang?"

"He ...sacrificed himself ...to save the dwarves," Cecil said softly. Rosa choked on a sob. I concentrated on catching my breath.

"Damn," the man called Cid said with fury. "A good man. And who is this?"

I looked up; he was pointing at me. "Rydia," Cecil said before I could answer. "She's a summoner from the Village Mist."

There was the sound of another explosion behind us, and Cid's face suddenly blackened. "Damn!" He shouted again. "They're chasing us!"

"The Red Wings?" Cecil peered behind the ship in disbelief. I could hear more noises, the terrifying whine of machines, approaching behind us.

Stop being such a coward! I pushed myself to my feet and ran to the rear of the ship. Sure enough, behind us came an airship, at full throttle.

Kain had followed me to the rear of the ship, and turned his head to call: "Can we shake them, Cid?"

Cid threw a glance behind him at the approaching ship. "I dunno," he yelled, throwing some switches. "Seems they've upgraded the Red Wings!"

The ship swerved, ducked, and took a new course across the flaming lava seas; I tumbled around, grabbing the railing for support. I hauled myself upright to peer once again over the edge.

"They're catching up!" I yelled, seeing the ship closer than before. Surely we could lose them. Cid spiraled again, diving and flattening out, but they came closer. There was a screech from beneath and the entire ship began to shake subtly. Cid swore.

"The engine won't hold out much longer! Cecil, take the controls!" Cecil grabbed the wheel and Cid whirled about, diving towards one of the benches. The top flew off; beneath were many wrapped parcels. I was confused - could he really fix the engine in mid-air, while we were flying?

Cid pulled something out and tucked it under his arm; it was wrapped in a black bag. He ran to the side and peered over. Now I was horribly confused. I knew I didn't know much about machines; but I was sure that something was going wrong.

"Cid!" Rosa yelled over the noise, growing louder every minute. "Where are you going?"

He looked at her and grinned, a large confident grin. "Get to the surface!" he cried. "I'll seal the hole with this bomb!"

"Wait!" Rosa moved to grab him, but the ship rocked, and she fell to the side, clutching a railing with a hopeless look on her face.

"OH!" Cid turned to Cecil. "Go to Baron once you are back, and ask my workers to help you! They'll know what to do."

He turned back to Rosa. "Look, I wanted to be there for the wedding, but ...look, just tie the knot already. Have hundreds of kids, ok?"

"Cid!" Cecil's cry was full of anguish - and worry. He couldn't take his hands from the wheel, but he threw Rosa a glance full of concern and anger. "There has to be another way!"

"Cid," I said, "please don't."

He looked at me then, and gave me that grin - full of life and spirit, not dampened in the least by the presence of a large bomb about to seal his fate. "Hey - that's Uncle Cid to you. Be good, Rydia, and take care of Cecil and Rosa for me."

"Remember to go to Baron!" he said, and then vaulted himself over the side.

I was frozen in place, staring at the spot from which he had jumped. I could hear him yelling, laughing something as he fell - and then I heard the bomb explode. Luckily Cecil had kept his wits and the airship angled upwards, streaking toward a light I had not seen in eleven years. But the sight of the sun above gave me no joy. Everything was ruined, ruined ...

The ship stopped, hovering above the crater. Rosa was sobbing, collapsed in Cecil's arms. "Oh, Cid," she sighed, and buried her face in Cecil's cloak. His face was weathered and dark and full of shadows and sorrow. He stroked her hair and stared into the distance.

"Why...?" I whispered, sinking to the deck of the airship.

I felt Kain beside me; he turned to look out over the deck, his hands clenched the railing in fury. "So much death... everyone rushing towards doom," he said, his head bowed.

I turned my gaze to Cecil. In his eyes were ages worth of sorrow, and in that moment he looked as if he had aged a good ten years. He was weary, and shaken to the bone. But I watched as he tucked his pain and loss away and let determination emerge. I felt myself empowered, and stood. I took Rosa from Cecil and led her to a bench - carefully avoiding the one holding Cid's treasures - and let her cry on my arm as Cecil gripped the wheel and said softly, "Let's head to Baron."

I barely remember the trip back to the castle. I spent much time curled in the prow of the airship, staring at the land around me, letting the memories emerge. When we arrived at the castle, Cid's engineers got to work immediately. Rosa and I escaped to the High Tower, where we could rest and - amazingly enough - bathe. But I was not in the mood to relax and enjoy anything. I spent my time in silence or in tears. First Yang, then Cid - gone, all gone. They'd given their lives for us. Like Tellah. Like the young Mysidian twins I had never met. Like my mother.

It was too much like what I had wanted to do - spend my life all at once, in a fury, summoning forth everything I could to protect the ones I loved, caring nothing for what came after. Now I was on the other side of it, and it wasn't as clear as I had thought. Sacrifice is a two-edged blade. There is gratitude and there is sorrow; there are both thanks and pain. There is nothing to be done with it, either.

All I could do was continue on protecting and hope it did not come to that.

Overnight Cid's engineers attached a long hook to the Enterprise - for that was the name of the ship - and told us that Cid's plan had been to grab the small Hovercraft and carry it to some far away shallows by some far away kingdom and attempt to re-enter the Tower of Bab-Il. I heard Cecil faintly trying to tell them of Cid's fate - which the engineers blatantly misunderstood.

"I can tell you're having trouble with him," the leader said, wiping a sweaty face. "He's impossible. Keep him for a while, will you?"

Cecil did not correct him.

We took the rest of the day to rest in Baron. Cecil and Rosa spent the afternoon together, murmuring quietly, comforting each other. This behavior finally drove Kain away; he vanished somewhere. I thought of seeking him out, for I too soon became uncomfortable; then I remembered that Baron was Kain's home as well and perhaps he had people to visit. I found my way to the top of the tower and sat on a small bench, looking across the mountains. I stared at the landscape for a while until it suddenly dawned on me that I was looking towards my homeland - over that peak, the one looking like the tail of a dragon, lay the Village of Mist ... I was so homesick it hurt.

Not even knowing what I was doing, I shut my eyes and concentrated, willing all my thought toward quenching my loneliness. I cast no spell, but I must have summoned some sort of great power, for suddenly I heard in my mind a familiar voice.

Rydia ...are you alright?

Asura? I opened my eyes. There was no one around. I closed them again and fumbled in the darkness of my mind. Where are you?

I felt gentle laughter. I am in the Land, you silly girl. You've just learned a new trick, that's all. Summoners were always good with mind-speech.

You're kidding.

Not at all. It is a different kind of magic than that used in battle, but effective nonetheless. You can speak to us here. I imagine you can read minds as well, to some extent.

I blinked. You mean - I can read minds too and you never told me?

I felt more than heard her laughter and the grace of her gentle smile. Some have it, some don't. It's merely a guess on my part. But tell me - why did you contact me?

I shrugged. I didn't really know what I was doing, Asura. I'm sorry.

Rydia. What's wrong?

Everything. I felt a single tear trickle down my face. All over our friends are dying, left and right. Two of our companions just gave their lives to save us. I feel so lost. I wasn't good enough to protect them, Asura. What if I can't protect anyone?

Rydia, darling. Her voice was soothing and again I felt like I was six years old and curled up in her lap. You cannot protect someone from themselves. If you wished to do the same for Cecil, would you let him stop you?

"No," I whispered aloud. But Asura, I couldn't do it - not yet - oh, and what if Cecil tried to do the same for me ...

Darling, you're upset. I felt calm emanating from her as if she were here. This at least explains the telepathy.

What?

Despair tends to bring out one's latent talents. I myself remember a small six-year-old girl who, powered by despair and grief, summoned a great Titan to her defense.

I laughed, a soft gentle laugh, and took a deep breath of fresh clean air.

Trust me, Rydia. All will be well. Are you still studying?

I could tell she was changing the subject, but I was grateful. I haven't been, I replied. But I will do so. And the next chance given me, I will come home, and we will ask you for aid.

Rydia, dear, Levia and I will be glad to help you. Just beware. The land is changing.

What?

Much more time has passed for us than you. It is nothing to be alarmed over; and yet ...

Behind me I heard a muffled step. Cecil stood at the door, leaning against the frame, his face weary. I gestured to him and then closed my eyes.

Asura, I have to go. But now that I know how - you will hear from me again.

Take care, child of Mist.

When I opened my eyes again Cecil was standing next to me. "We're leaving," he said. I nodded. I could tell that his eyes also recognized just where they were looking. "Do you want to go back?"

I shook my head, looking at the ground. "No," I said. "Not now. Not yet."

"We visited," Cecil said slowly, and I turned my eyes to him. "Before we ...knew about you. We went back. The town has rebuilt itself. But I fear it will never recover."

"That is ...that is what they say in the Underground," I said.

Cecil turned his face to me. It was wrought with grief, fresh and old, and I wondered suddenly if life had been easier as a Dark Knight - at least he could hide his worries and his fears beneath a helm which showed no emotion. Clearly he was in pain.

"Cecil," I said, and almost reached out to him.

"Rydia, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Stop it," I said, fighting away the sorrow myself. I felt my fiery determination coming back. "We are fighting now for a common cause - much larger than me, or even you, or anyone else. Yes, we've lost a lot. But we have to keep going. Or else..." My voice dropped to a whisper before I could control it. "Or else what are we fighting for? We have to fight for what we've lost. Who we've lost. We can't stop now."

I turned to him and gave him a smile. "Come on," I said. "There's a job to do."