A/N: *pulls bedraggled body up into the computer chair* Help Me.. *slumps
forward onto computer, gasping*
T-chan: *blinks over at her* Um, yeah. Lexi just got back from a three
week "family vacation" to the Grand Canyon. without a computer.
*sobs, hugging computer* YES!!! A computer and heat relief!!! Good gods- it
reached a high of 118 degrees (F)!!! See- I'm a Seattlite- I was born in
the rain. The record heat around here was 98 in the past few decades. Get
my drift?
T-chan: *snickers* Yeah, and I bet squishing into a car with all six of
your family members was tons of fun too!
*shudders* It was awful!!! I'm just glad to be back home with a computer.
Vegeta: *rolls eyes* well gee ain't that touching. You greet the computer
but not your mate. Not that I care or anything.
*snickers* Oh, I'm sure you don't.
Disclaimer: take the depth of the Grand Canyon and multiply it by its length. Take the answer, then cube it. The answer you get measures both how much I want DBZ, as well as how likely I am to get it.
~Of Sunroofs and Flour~
~*~
Gohan sighed and held his head in his hands, not looking forward to the questions his girlfriend was sure to ask as soon as she revived. He glanced over at the still unconscious girl, hoping against hope that she might somehow forget. He wondered briefly if he should try lying, or maybe pretending not to know what she was talking about would work better. ~Nah, I'm an awful liar as Bulma is so quick to point out.~ He sighed again before again burying his head in his hands; there was no telling how much longer he had to live.
~*~
Tein cursed fluently as his petite blonde wife battered him with her fist and the butt of one of her seemingly endless supply of guns. Why oh why did she have to sneeze in the air? He couldn't land safely, nor could he continue flying with her struggling and distracting him. He momentarily considered just dropping her, but he didn't have any senzu beans on hand- for him or her. The roof of CC was approaching fast, and if someone didn't help soon. ~Bulma is going to kill me!~
~*~
Gohan was in the grips of a horrifying day-mare. His mind kept running through the upcoming spectacle, each vision more horrible than the last, and all seeming to end with him screaming for mercy and Videl laughing evilly. He was coming to the end of yet another, and he began sweating as the end approached. ~How is this one going to end?~ His face paled as he waited. ~Heeeeere it comes.~ The mental Gohan let out a shriek of pure terror, followed closely by the real Gohan: Videl's hauntingly beautiful face had been replaced by the smirking face of. Vegeta?!?!
~*~
Tien finally swallowed his dignity with mere seconds to spare. Opening his mouth, he let out a frantic yell. Kami willing someone would hear it in time to help. Too bad for poor Tien that Kami was on an unplanned vacation.
~*~
~OH KAMI NOOOOOO!!!~ Both the mental and physical screams of the terrified Gohan drowned out both the frantic yells of Tien and the enraged shrieks of Launch, who were now only a precious few feet away.
~*~
Chichi glared at Bulma, but allowed herself to be pulled to the side by her older friend. "Well? Where are they?!" "Ssssh, keep it down Chichi!" "WHY?!" Bulma glared furiously at Chichi and tapped her foot impatiently, ignoring the furtive glances of the students, hissing with irritation, "because if you don't I'm not going to tell you about you-know-who!" Chichi's eyes immediately formed hearts and her next question was so hushed that Bulma had to strain to hear her. ~oh well, at least its better than her screaming!~ "Well, you're going to have a granddaughter named Pan in, oh. four years or so. Mother is Videl, Gohan's current girlfriend." Chichi began giggling hysterically and started jumping up and down in excitement, earning many strange and worried glances from the class. Bulma just closed her eyes and sweatdropped-she'd kinda come to expect it really. "So where are they?!" Bulma shrugged nonchalantly. "I dunno.ask Mirai to find their ki. I can't, and he's the only one who knows all of their ki." Chichi nodded determinedly and spun on her heels, marching off to hunt down Mirai Trunks, Frying Pan at the ready over her shoulder. Bulma heaved a sigh of relief and silently apologized to her son before turning back to the class, cheerfully resuming her conversations.
~*~
Gotenks was furiously attacking anything and everything that looked remotely edible in the kitchen, leaving behind quite a bit of wreckage and destruction. It was to the scene of Gotenks chowing down on flour and raw rice that a hungry Goku appeared. He took one look at the torn apart kitchen before jumping in himself. Being in heaven for so long, he'd forgotten the only thing that might have kept him from the 'food': The Almighty Frying Pan of Doom. Dundunduuuuun. Good, (or maybe bad) thing that Chichi wasn't there to remind him. Gotenks gave the other Saiya-jin a brief nod before continuing to scarf down the tasteless white powder.
~*~
Vegeta clapped the girls on their shoulders, graciously holding back his strength. "Well bratlings, ready to train?" Pan and Marron exchanged an ecstatic glance, and nodded once, barely able to contain their excitement: Pan because Vegeta was a full Saiya-jin, and he current role model, and Marron because Vegeta never sparred with humans unless absolutely necessary, let alone children. This was the opportunity of a lifetime! Vegeta simply smirked; as usual, he had ulterior motives. namely reshaping too promisingly evil young minds into mirror images of himself. Both futures needed some badass 'good' guys. Still smirking, Vegeta had a sudden idea that was so evil it nearly made him beam in pride. Nodding to the girls, he took off, slowing slightly to allow them to catch up with him as they obediently followed. True to his evil genius, he set off single-mindedly to a certain destination: The Room of Spirit and Time. A year should be plenty of time to corrupt them fully without anyone attempting to intervene. In fact, from what he'd witnessed in the last half hour, it shouldn't take more than a few months: maybe three or four hours in the outside world.
~*~
When Krillin and Roshi finally pulled themselves together enough to look for the source of the disturbing spectacle, they were far too late. The 'source' was long gone, as were Tien and Launch.
~*~
Mirai sighed to himself as he feverishly toweled dry: having failed to scald the offending memory off in boiling water, he was now trying to remove it by scrubbing off a layer of skin. When that failed as well, he simply sighed and pulled on his boxers, starting on a new quest: this time for clean clothes.
~*~
Chichi began prowling the halls of CC, intent on finding Mirai. Operation Grandchildren was in full swing!
~*~
Tien squeezed his eyes shut and shifted in the air to make sure he was on the bottom; no need to further irritate the mad blonde. With a swift intake of breath, he and Launch smashed into the roof of CC, right on top of a startled and screaming Gohan and an unconscious Videl. With a resounding crash, the roof gave way and all four fell into the middle of a very surprised class. Right away, Bulma turned a bright red and began yelling angrily at the pile of splintered metal and the few arms and legs that peeked out from the pile and dust.
~*~
Chichi heard the crash but ignored it; simply assuming it was Goten and Trunks-as usual. She continued on; she had a feeling she was close, almost as if she could sense the ki. ~Too bad I can't. Maybe I should threaten Gohan into teaching me.~ Well, no use now, she'd just have to keep looking the old fashioned way. Lifting her skirt in one hand, she picked up speed, fueled by the need for grandchildren that had plagued her since Gohan was first born.
~*~
Growling, Launch hurled herself out of the pile and scrambled away cussing.
"YOU ()*%^$($ ^&$^*%##(^) *&%*&$^%%# )&&^$&^%$&%$(&^%)&!!!! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TOUCHING ME WITHOUT PERMISSION?!!!" Screamed the irate blonde, emptying a round of bullets into the pile, throwing it away after she emptied it, and pulling another out of thin air. Tien meeped as he crawled out and became the sole target of the new machine gun. "ANSWER ME DAMNIT!!! #@%$&*(^&&#@$!!!" She stopped in the middle of her rant as Bulma managed to throw a desperate handful of dust into her face, making Launch sneeze forcefully, returning to the calm, somewhat ditzy blue haired girl we all know and love. The newly 'revived' Launch blinked and looked from the smoking gun in her hands, to the pouting and smoldering Tien, to the pile of ruble that still had a couple of limbs sticking out, paling drastically. "Oh dear, I seem to be doing a lot of damage today." Meanwhile, the class was staring at her incredulously; it wasn't every day that blonde chicks fell out of the sky and began cursing and firing guns that appeared out of thin air at bullet proof men with three eyes. Bulma was still glaring at the newcomers in irritation. "Gee guys, did you have to punch another hole in my roof?! I mean, its bad enough with just Trunks and Vegeta, I don't need all the other Z fighters ruining my beautiful home!" Tien shrugged, "Sorry Bulma, we had an 'accident' at the mall and I've lost my pepper." Bulma tapped her foot impatiently. "I fail to see why that explains my unwanted sunroof." Tien gulped slightly at her icy tone. "Uh, I was just getting to that, heh heh. See, We were coming to see you guys, and when there was some sort of explosion, Launch sneezed and we fell." Bulma blinked at him a moment, then sighed. "Whatever you say. It doesn't really matter anyway; I had Shenlong Saiya-jin proof CC a loooong time ago." Tien grinned in relief; he'd live to see another day! Suddenly the pile behind them stirred again and everyone turned to watch a moaning Gohan pull himself out of the ruble to clutch his head, still on his knees. "Kami what happened?" Tien had just opened his mouth to answer when the pile suddenly erupted, a furious Videl standing in the middle, back to the 'audience' and glaring eyes narrowed at Gohan. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND GOHAN, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE SAIYA-MAN!!!" The class stared in disbelief; nerdy little bookworm Gohan was the Gold Fighter and Saiyaman?! But Videl wasn't through yet; "AND WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT MAN MEAN ABOUT YOU DEFEATING CELL!?! THAT WAS MY FATHER!!! IF IT WAS REALLY YOU THAN YOU WOULD'VE CLAIMED THE CREDIT!!!" By now Gohan's anger was getting the best of him. "That's where you're wrong Videl." He said as soon as she paused for air, continuing on in a deadly quiet voice that nonetheless carried as well as Videl's yell. "My friends and I didn't want fame. We try to live quietly; that's why most of us hide out true strength. Hell, don't you think it would freak you out just a little if I waltzed around bragging about the fact that I could blow up this entire godforsaken planet without breaking a sweat? All I've ever wanted, Videl, is to be normal. Have a normal life, be part of a normal family, have normal friends. But guess what, I can't have any of these things. And you want to know why else I didn't want the credit? I didn't want to be falsely popular like you." Videl stared at him, completely shell-shocked. That last bit rather stung. The silence around them was utter and complete.
A/N: *takes a better look over at T-chan* Good gods woman, what the hell happened to your arm!!! T-chan: *glares at Vegeta* without you here, that bastard attacked me. Dislocated and broke my damn elbow. Vegeta: *rolls eyes* It was your own fault brat! If you hadn't been antagonizing me. T-chan: *mockingly* Oooo, Vege-head learned a big word! Vegeta: *growls* *sighs* I highly doubt it makes one difference whether or not I'm here. T-chan: *shrugs* maybe so. *glares at Vegeta* but it isn't my fault. *rubs temples* Kami, I just got back and I already wish I was still gone! You two are worse than me and my two brothers! Vegeta: *smirks* I'll take that as a compliment! T-chan: *sneers* You would wouldn't you. Vegeta: *snarls* what the hell is THAT supposed to mean!? *moans as fight grows around her* Well, I promise to be a lot quicker with the next chapter: it's all written out, I just have to type it up.
Oh! And I've written the next chapter of The Substitutes; or Murphy's Law! Go read it!
Disclaimer: take the depth of the Grand Canyon and multiply it by its length. Take the answer, then cube it. The answer you get measures both how much I want DBZ, as well as how likely I am to get it.
~Of Sunroofs and Flour~
~*~
Gohan sighed and held his head in his hands, not looking forward to the questions his girlfriend was sure to ask as soon as she revived. He glanced over at the still unconscious girl, hoping against hope that she might somehow forget. He wondered briefly if he should try lying, or maybe pretending not to know what she was talking about would work better. ~Nah, I'm an awful liar as Bulma is so quick to point out.~ He sighed again before again burying his head in his hands; there was no telling how much longer he had to live.
~*~
Tein cursed fluently as his petite blonde wife battered him with her fist and the butt of one of her seemingly endless supply of guns. Why oh why did she have to sneeze in the air? He couldn't land safely, nor could he continue flying with her struggling and distracting him. He momentarily considered just dropping her, but he didn't have any senzu beans on hand- for him or her. The roof of CC was approaching fast, and if someone didn't help soon. ~Bulma is going to kill me!~
~*~
Gohan was in the grips of a horrifying day-mare. His mind kept running through the upcoming spectacle, each vision more horrible than the last, and all seeming to end with him screaming for mercy and Videl laughing evilly. He was coming to the end of yet another, and he began sweating as the end approached. ~How is this one going to end?~ His face paled as he waited. ~Heeeeere it comes.~ The mental Gohan let out a shriek of pure terror, followed closely by the real Gohan: Videl's hauntingly beautiful face had been replaced by the smirking face of. Vegeta?!?!
~*~
Tien finally swallowed his dignity with mere seconds to spare. Opening his mouth, he let out a frantic yell. Kami willing someone would hear it in time to help. Too bad for poor Tien that Kami was on an unplanned vacation.
~*~
~OH KAMI NOOOOOO!!!~ Both the mental and physical screams of the terrified Gohan drowned out both the frantic yells of Tien and the enraged shrieks of Launch, who were now only a precious few feet away.
~*~
Chichi glared at Bulma, but allowed herself to be pulled to the side by her older friend. "Well? Where are they?!" "Ssssh, keep it down Chichi!" "WHY?!" Bulma glared furiously at Chichi and tapped her foot impatiently, ignoring the furtive glances of the students, hissing with irritation, "because if you don't I'm not going to tell you about you-know-who!" Chichi's eyes immediately formed hearts and her next question was so hushed that Bulma had to strain to hear her. ~oh well, at least its better than her screaming!~ "Well, you're going to have a granddaughter named Pan in, oh. four years or so. Mother is Videl, Gohan's current girlfriend." Chichi began giggling hysterically and started jumping up and down in excitement, earning many strange and worried glances from the class. Bulma just closed her eyes and sweatdropped-she'd kinda come to expect it really. "So where are they?!" Bulma shrugged nonchalantly. "I dunno.ask Mirai to find their ki. I can't, and he's the only one who knows all of their ki." Chichi nodded determinedly and spun on her heels, marching off to hunt down Mirai Trunks, Frying Pan at the ready over her shoulder. Bulma heaved a sigh of relief and silently apologized to her son before turning back to the class, cheerfully resuming her conversations.
~*~
Gotenks was furiously attacking anything and everything that looked remotely edible in the kitchen, leaving behind quite a bit of wreckage and destruction. It was to the scene of Gotenks chowing down on flour and raw rice that a hungry Goku appeared. He took one look at the torn apart kitchen before jumping in himself. Being in heaven for so long, he'd forgotten the only thing that might have kept him from the 'food': The Almighty Frying Pan of Doom. Dundunduuuuun. Good, (or maybe bad) thing that Chichi wasn't there to remind him. Gotenks gave the other Saiya-jin a brief nod before continuing to scarf down the tasteless white powder.
~*~
Vegeta clapped the girls on their shoulders, graciously holding back his strength. "Well bratlings, ready to train?" Pan and Marron exchanged an ecstatic glance, and nodded once, barely able to contain their excitement: Pan because Vegeta was a full Saiya-jin, and he current role model, and Marron because Vegeta never sparred with humans unless absolutely necessary, let alone children. This was the opportunity of a lifetime! Vegeta simply smirked; as usual, he had ulterior motives. namely reshaping too promisingly evil young minds into mirror images of himself. Both futures needed some badass 'good' guys. Still smirking, Vegeta had a sudden idea that was so evil it nearly made him beam in pride. Nodding to the girls, he took off, slowing slightly to allow them to catch up with him as they obediently followed. True to his evil genius, he set off single-mindedly to a certain destination: The Room of Spirit and Time. A year should be plenty of time to corrupt them fully without anyone attempting to intervene. In fact, from what he'd witnessed in the last half hour, it shouldn't take more than a few months: maybe three or four hours in the outside world.
~*~
When Krillin and Roshi finally pulled themselves together enough to look for the source of the disturbing spectacle, they were far too late. The 'source' was long gone, as were Tien and Launch.
~*~
Mirai sighed to himself as he feverishly toweled dry: having failed to scald the offending memory off in boiling water, he was now trying to remove it by scrubbing off a layer of skin. When that failed as well, he simply sighed and pulled on his boxers, starting on a new quest: this time for clean clothes.
~*~
Chichi began prowling the halls of CC, intent on finding Mirai. Operation Grandchildren was in full swing!
~*~
Tien squeezed his eyes shut and shifted in the air to make sure he was on the bottom; no need to further irritate the mad blonde. With a swift intake of breath, he and Launch smashed into the roof of CC, right on top of a startled and screaming Gohan and an unconscious Videl. With a resounding crash, the roof gave way and all four fell into the middle of a very surprised class. Right away, Bulma turned a bright red and began yelling angrily at the pile of splintered metal and the few arms and legs that peeked out from the pile and dust.
~*~
Chichi heard the crash but ignored it; simply assuming it was Goten and Trunks-as usual. She continued on; she had a feeling she was close, almost as if she could sense the ki. ~Too bad I can't. Maybe I should threaten Gohan into teaching me.~ Well, no use now, she'd just have to keep looking the old fashioned way. Lifting her skirt in one hand, she picked up speed, fueled by the need for grandchildren that had plagued her since Gohan was first born.
~*~
Growling, Launch hurled herself out of the pile and scrambled away cussing.
"YOU ()*%^$($ ^&$^*%##(^) *&%*&$^%%# )&&^$&^%$&%$(&^%)&!!!! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TOUCHING ME WITHOUT PERMISSION?!!!" Screamed the irate blonde, emptying a round of bullets into the pile, throwing it away after she emptied it, and pulling another out of thin air. Tien meeped as he crawled out and became the sole target of the new machine gun. "ANSWER ME DAMNIT!!! #@%$&*(^&&#@$!!!" She stopped in the middle of her rant as Bulma managed to throw a desperate handful of dust into her face, making Launch sneeze forcefully, returning to the calm, somewhat ditzy blue haired girl we all know and love. The newly 'revived' Launch blinked and looked from the smoking gun in her hands, to the pouting and smoldering Tien, to the pile of ruble that still had a couple of limbs sticking out, paling drastically. "Oh dear, I seem to be doing a lot of damage today." Meanwhile, the class was staring at her incredulously; it wasn't every day that blonde chicks fell out of the sky and began cursing and firing guns that appeared out of thin air at bullet proof men with three eyes. Bulma was still glaring at the newcomers in irritation. "Gee guys, did you have to punch another hole in my roof?! I mean, its bad enough with just Trunks and Vegeta, I don't need all the other Z fighters ruining my beautiful home!" Tien shrugged, "Sorry Bulma, we had an 'accident' at the mall and I've lost my pepper." Bulma tapped her foot impatiently. "I fail to see why that explains my unwanted sunroof." Tien gulped slightly at her icy tone. "Uh, I was just getting to that, heh heh. See, We were coming to see you guys, and when there was some sort of explosion, Launch sneezed and we fell." Bulma blinked at him a moment, then sighed. "Whatever you say. It doesn't really matter anyway; I had Shenlong Saiya-jin proof CC a loooong time ago." Tien grinned in relief; he'd live to see another day! Suddenly the pile behind them stirred again and everyone turned to watch a moaning Gohan pull himself out of the ruble to clutch his head, still on his knees. "Kami what happened?" Tien had just opened his mouth to answer when the pile suddenly erupted, a furious Videl standing in the middle, back to the 'audience' and glaring eyes narrowed at Gohan. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND GOHAN, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE SAIYA-MAN!!!" The class stared in disbelief; nerdy little bookworm Gohan was the Gold Fighter and Saiyaman?! But Videl wasn't through yet; "AND WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT MAN MEAN ABOUT YOU DEFEATING CELL!?! THAT WAS MY FATHER!!! IF IT WAS REALLY YOU THAN YOU WOULD'VE CLAIMED THE CREDIT!!!" By now Gohan's anger was getting the best of him. "That's where you're wrong Videl." He said as soon as she paused for air, continuing on in a deadly quiet voice that nonetheless carried as well as Videl's yell. "My friends and I didn't want fame. We try to live quietly; that's why most of us hide out true strength. Hell, don't you think it would freak you out just a little if I waltzed around bragging about the fact that I could blow up this entire godforsaken planet without breaking a sweat? All I've ever wanted, Videl, is to be normal. Have a normal life, be part of a normal family, have normal friends. But guess what, I can't have any of these things. And you want to know why else I didn't want the credit? I didn't want to be falsely popular like you." Videl stared at him, completely shell-shocked. That last bit rather stung. The silence around them was utter and complete.
A/N: *takes a better look over at T-chan* Good gods woman, what the hell happened to your arm!!! T-chan: *glares at Vegeta* without you here, that bastard attacked me. Dislocated and broke my damn elbow. Vegeta: *rolls eyes* It was your own fault brat! If you hadn't been antagonizing me. T-chan: *mockingly* Oooo, Vege-head learned a big word! Vegeta: *growls* *sighs* I highly doubt it makes one difference whether or not I'm here. T-chan: *shrugs* maybe so. *glares at Vegeta* but it isn't my fault. *rubs temples* Kami, I just got back and I already wish I was still gone! You two are worse than me and my two brothers! Vegeta: *smirks* I'll take that as a compliment! T-chan: *sneers* You would wouldn't you. Vegeta: *snarls* what the hell is THAT supposed to mean!? *moans as fight grows around her* Well, I promise to be a lot quicker with the next chapter: it's all written out, I just have to type it up.
Oh! And I've written the next chapter of The Substitutes; or Murphy's Law! Go read it!