A/N: *blink* *blink* Wow... you people are so kind... *daubs at tears* Thanks so much for your encouragement, it means a lot to me. I still have doubts (will never stop having them) but I guess everyone is beset by them once in a while, thanks for clearing some of mine. As you will be able to tell by this chapter, Eriol is still pretty much dense (I seriously can't control him). And you're right, I wouldn't want to turn this into an R-rated fic so late in the story....

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Chapter 10: Tango

What have I done?

I started at Tomoyo, paralysed with fear and shock and disbelief. Another fast-beat song had started, enveloping the room in its rhythm. I could barely notice. There was only Tomoyo's shock and my own mirrored in her eyes. The tension between was almost chocking, so thick, I could physically feel it pressing on me.

At first, I felt outrage, at myself, at her for what happened. Then came doubt; was what just happened a figment of my imagination mixed with the maddening music and the intoxicating feel of the night? Or was it real, happening to me in the waking world? And if so, what did it mean? Was she, too, experiencing the same aftermath effect, one that started somewhere in the bowls and spread in great waves to every joint and digit? Did I have the same look at this moment as she, half-lidded and scarlet-faced, breath coming out in nervous gasps?

Then I began to think of the consequences of this...deed. As I said once upon a time, whatever I do now will make a direct impact on what will happen tomorrow, and that will completely change my life. I didn't know how our escapade not five minutes ago would impact me in the future, and that's exactly what I feared. I dreaded that somehow, somewhere in the middle of things, I had gotten too involved, my emotions running wanton. I didn't know where Tomoyo stood with me, nor did I know where I was stationary. The uncertainly would gnaw at me later, drive me insane, I just knew it. But did I dare to pry at this new development, to probe and test how far the limits stretched? What would happen if I did?

"We...should... discus this, I think," Tomoyo broke the speeding train that were my thoughts, and suddenly I found that things were moving too fast, too rapidly for me to catch up to them.

Before I could even realize, a confirmation was escaping my lips and I was following her again, this time to escape the crowd and the music. Outside the little club, the bitter wind howled, ruffling my hair and sending my shirt flying. I hadn't thought that maybe, just maybe, it would be cold outside and that a flimsy shirt would not protect me from its sting. I guess I owe that to the turmoil inside my head. Tomoyo apparently had suffered from the same forgetfulness bug. She wrapped her arms tightly around her quaking shoulders, rubbing numb fingers over equally numb skin. I wanted to swathe her in my arms, wanted to use my body to shield hers from the onslaught of the cold. That, however, was the last thing I would do in this situation, and I think she understood that.

We stood there in constrained silence, looking pointedly away from each other, pretending that nothing happened and that we were back to square one. I could feel the nervousness seeping off of her, permeating the air. I had come to know Tomoyo as confident, and un-dauntingly strong, to see her practically quaking in her shoes was revolutionary almost. An eye-opener, a conformation that she wasn't impenetrable.

"So..." I began awkwardly, feeling the remnants of heat and embarrassment creep into my cheeks despite the cold pinching at my skin. "....that was... something."

"Sure was...." Tomoyo replied, looking every bit as self-conscious as I felt. I felt oddly pleased that she was as flustered as I. The knowledge did marvellous things to my male ego.

"What happened back there," I took a leaping and brave first step, coming closer to her and the questions riddling my mind.

She looked almost warily at the club's entrance. "I don't know. I just let the music... guide me, take me whole. I surrendered everything to the rhythm. I couldn't think, just move along with the beat. And the sensation of dancing and the freedom was so intoxicating...."

Her thoughts and feelings echoed mine in almost perfect detail. I could still feel the pumping of the blood in my veins, the maddening, seducing beat no more than a trace of memory. Everything that happened was just like a very detailed, very surreal dream. Despite that, I still felt as if something monumentally huge had occurred.

"I know what you mean, I felt it, too," I confirmed her unspoken questions. I took another gallant step toward her. I was drawn to her, just like at that moment, when the music seized me; I couldn't pull away. It was the same force rushing through my blood.

"It's completely insane," she said breathlessly, inching closer to my warmth.

"Improbable, impossible and preposterous," I almost whispered back.

There was a spark of something in her eyes as she looked up at me, a flicker of the secret desire laying dormant in both our souls. Desire for the touch of another human being, of an attractive member of the opposite sex. I didn't ever realize how ridiculously attracted to her I was until I couldn't keep myself away from her. What I did out there in the darkness of the club was just a reflection of the lust I felt for her, screaming out, desperate to be known.

Then again, I wasn't the only participant; it takes two to tango, the last time I checked. She was the one who initiated the bout of foreplay (if that's what it was), I had only been a tag-along. But did this mean that she, too, was starved for a sensuous touch? Did she want me as much as I wanted her? Was she just playing a game, one that was quite typical of people like her?

Tomoyo was almost girdled in my arms at this point, as if we had unwittingly gravitated toward each other in the span of a few seconds. With another courageous move, I brought my face close to hers, sealing the air between us with my lips. This kiss was gentle, testing, delving out to see where the boundaries lay. She whimpered and moaned softly when I was about to pull away, which gave me more encouragement. I dove in for another kiss, this one teasing, taunting, where both she and I were fighting to prove something to the other. I could feel myself melting at her touch, hot despite the stinging cold.

"That was... wow," She purred breathlessly when the air between us was completely depleted. She had the same look on as in the club, dark-eyed and flushed. I nodded, thinking something along those exact lines.

Tomoyo leaned her head to rest on the crook where my neck met my shoulder, sighing deeply. We stayed like that for a long, silent moment, each lost in our own thoughts, completely unaware of the cold and the night. I felt like another deal was sealed between us, or perhaps an understanding, though I couldn't determine what exactly it was. I still had random questions popping up in my mind, those I brushed off without a second thought. My suspicions were confirmed though, she had experienced the same passion-filled force as I.

"What do you want in life?" she asked me suddenly, still safe with her head nestled on my shoulder. I wondered how we got from kissing to life but I wasn't about to say anything.

I thought about it. What did I want in life? Stableness, security, a bit of power to influence change. "I told you before, I want to get into politics. I want to establish myself in the world, I want to be known for centuries to come for something I had achieved on my own. I want the knowledge that I single-handedly was able to change something, to know that I wasn't another nameless number on a statistic. I want a stable future, though with enough risks to make it worthwhile. I want to wake at night and know that I'm safe at home, where I belong."

"Is that all you want in life?" She asked tentatively, as if prodding around the maw of a sleeping beast.

"What do you mean?" A question for question, a game of hide and seek.

Sighing exasperatingly, she said, "Have you ever thought about a family of your own? Of finding that one special someone and living somewhere nice and cozy with them? Children? A summerhouse in the Mediterranean and a little dog or cat for your kids to play with?... Love?"

I looked at her for a long moment, savouring the things she said to me. Perhaps it was a reflection of her own expectations for the future. Or maybe an ideal cry for companionship. I mulled the thought over and then replied, "I don't believe in love. It is a vain game between two unlikely people. It's false and meaningless.

"There is no such thing as love anymore," I continued, " affection is shown through expensive and overly ostentatious toys. Children no longer ask for a mother's touch; computers, drugs and sex have replaced all that. And parents? They are fools. They think that love is complying with their children's' virtual 'gimme'. It's sad, really. But this is what change brought upon this world, and this way it shall remain, unless some idiot actually finds the guts to blow up the world. "

Tomoyo recoiled from me, appalled at my words, hurt that I dared to utter them. "That's not true!" She exclaimed, sounding both angry and lost. "Love exists everywhere around us! You are just too blind and too bitter to see it!"

I remained silent, giving her the freedom to continue."What about the unbreakable bond the mother feels for her child? Husband for his wife? What about a kid and his puppy playing in the spring mud? Was that just a show of distant acknowledgement? Of course not. That's love. Perhaps you can't see it, after all, you're just the observer, seeing all but the real picture," she said with a glacial smile. "Haven't you ever experience that feeling one gets when tearing breathlessly into a present and then overflowing with joy at the sight of the useless trinket? Did you not feel loss of a loved one? When your mother and uncle died, did you feel nothing for them? You didn't cry or feel sorry for them?" She nearly screamed at me and I flinched at the reference to my family. "Whatever you might think about that, there are feelings behind those actions. There has to be. Maybe people don't know how to truly express love, but at least they feel it in their hearts. And isn't that what's important?"

I listened carefully to every word she said, storing it at the back of my mind for a later time to mull on. Could she be speaking the truth? Was I mistaken? Yes, I had experienced the thrill of opening a present and unbearable pain when Mother passed away. I still remember the acrid sting in my heart when the doctor pulled me out of the room where my mother lay lifelessly, telling me that there was nothing else to see. Was that love? That twinge somewhere in my chest cavity, was that love?

"Just because you're too afraid to let yourself live for once in your life. Just because you're afraid of getting hurt, you shrink away from all feeling." Tomoyo said quietly, morosely, turning her face away from my piercing eyes. She was moving away from my embrace, farther into the darkness of the night, and I felt almost painfully lost without her presence near me. "You think that all people are cruel, that all they want is to corrupt you, take you over to the dark side. Well, that isn't true."

"What do you mean?"

"If you just opened your eyes," I could hear a bit of panic, or maybe hysteria edging her voice, "just stop looking at the world as if it would consume you whole at any second, you would see that people do care about you. Maybe you would even realize that there is someone in this world that loves you wholeheartedly. Who would gladly give up everything for you, who would be happy as long as you're happy, and sad when you are..."

"What are you trying to say?" I felt lost, as if I had been led into a labyrinth and forgot my way out. Did I miss something? Why was Tomoyo suddenly all so serious and brooding, I could swear I saw a frown dance upon her lips.

Tomoyo looked at me for a long, heavy moment, as if deciding between two equally treacherous paths. I could feel her shrinking into the shadows of the building, but at this moment, I hadn't thought of coming closer. An almost audible laugh – or a choke – escaped her lips, before she screamed something at me and fled into the darkness. It was a moment before I realized the words she hollered at me and I impaled motionless with their force.

"God dammit! I love you, Hiiragizawa Eriol!" She had cried out.

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Just so you know, I've never been kissed and have absolutely no idea how it would feel . Gah! I dun like this chappie... Too much ambiguousness in my opinion, though that was exactly what I was going for... That... felt too much like a soap opera.