DUEL96FM
(The guests cometh - part 1)
By Mythakazu
(Wai! Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! ^_^ *bows* I really appreciate it! And, as thanks, I've kept my promise, and for those of you who asked, you're on the air! XD Yay! This portion of the story takes place a couple of hours after the incidents in the last chapter (I figured I should mention that, because all the chapters before hand took place directly one after another.). In other words, you're doing… The grave yard shift! XD Mua ha ha ha ha ha-
Haga: *whaps Myth upside the head with a microphone* Can it, feather-head! Just start the darn thing! We're losing readers!
Myth: Geez! Be happy I didn't write it so you died in the helicopter explosion or something!
Readers: Boo!
Haga: *blink* Uh… Yaaay! o.o
Myth: By the way, the guest chapter is in parts as well, it's long o.o I really hope no one is horribly out of character, I tried… Oh, and a notice/request thing at the end of the chapter, if anyone's interested. Read and review, please! ^_^
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An eerie silence seems to loom over the humble (not) radio station, known as DUEL96 FM. Yugi and co. can be seen in a corner, all bound and gagged with industrial strength duct tape. All the previous intruders (yes, even Kaiba, who, instead of being arrested, shooed the law away with a little… shall we say… encouragement?)…
Kaiba: *putting his wallet into his pocket* Suckers.
…were now sitting in the host's chairs, chatting.
Ryuuzaki: So, now that we've acquired this crazy place, after a carefully planned, well thought out hostile take over…
Mai: Oh, please. We just gave Haga the song lyrics Joey and Myth were using earlier, and told him to sing.
Haga: *nod* Hn.
Yugi and co.: *shuddershuddertwitchtwitch*
Mai: Easy as pie.
Ryuuzaki: Ahem. Anywho, since we've taken over this joint, whaddya guys wanna do with it?
Mai: Beauty salon. Duh.
Kaiba: Lint factory!
All: …
Kaiba: I mean… uh… top secret Kaiba Corp. facility, littered with loads of high-tech stuff you simple minded Neanderthals wouldn't understand in a million years. Yeah, that's it. Heh heh heh heh…
Keith: A gym!
Kajiki: A garbage dump!
Pegasus: Why not an aquarium? *strums on his guitar… somehow o_O*
Kajiki: The sea betrayed me, fool! I shall make it feel the intense wrath of Kajiki Ryouta! *pose*
Haga: Yeah, sure.
Mai: We told you, it was a simple minded prank!
Kajiki: No, no! Don't try and ease the pain with your cheap tricks! I know the truth! Why, once I had… *continues to ramble, being ignored by everyone*
Ryuuzaki: Why don't we keep the station going? I mean, it's supposed to have somehow gotten loads of viewers in only a day… We could be famous!
Kaiba: But we know nothing about running a radio station!
Keith: We could list stocks all night…
Kaiba: NOOOO! NO! NO! NO! NOO-…
All: o_o;;
Kaiba: Urm, I mean, no. People wouldn't be interested. La la laaa… *whistles*
Mai: Well, once when I was leafing through my phone book, looking for any hired assassins…
All: '___' Um…
Mai: *cough*… Well, come on, it was for those stalkers of mine!... Anyway, I saw an ad reading 'Assistant Radio Hosts for hire, dial 1-800-555-CRZY-FAN : 1000 listeners in 30 minutes or your pizza is free!'.
Haga: I'm surprised they have such outlandish things in the yellow pages.
Pegasus: I'm surprised she could remember that ad with such accuracy.
Kaiba grabs his cell phone and dials the number…
(Thirty seconds later…)
Kaiba: OH MAN! They're NEVER gonna get here! We're gonna diiiieee-
(ding-dong!)
Keith: This place has a door bell?
Myth: It came extra.
Kajiki: …How'd you get your mouth free?
Myth: Eeep.
(a few seconds later, with more duct tape applied…)
Pegasus: I'll get it! *he flings the door open, and is immediately trampled by a cluster of people, all wearing headsets, and carrying brightly colored microphones*
Sarah: Oi! 'Scuse me, did someone call us?
Sonya: Yes, yes! My aibou and I would like to cause some carnage!
….
ESS: Sonya? This is 'Assistant Radio Hosts for hire'. Not assassins.
Mai: Hmmm…
Sonya: What? Nice going, doofus, you signed us up for the wrong company!
Sarah: If I recall correctly, it was you who filed the résumé -_-…
Keith: Hey, you! Are you gonna do your jobs or not?
Pegasus: *dizzy* I want mah pizzah, mumsy! @__@ *wobble*
Kaori: Sure, sure! Anything in particular you want on air?
Kaiba: NO STOCKS! O_O *faint*
Aurashi: ….Ohhhkay. That's nice.
RPGirl: Let's get started!
-------
Judi: Welcome, everyone! We're sorry to report that your regular hosts were not able to make it here tonight…
Ryuuzaki: They were a bit, shall we say, tied up at the moment. Hee hee, get it? Tied up? Hee hee hee hee… Ha ha ha ha… Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! *laughs uncontrollably*
ESS: I wish I knew where I could get one of those socks…
Kaori: So, for tonight, all of us will be taking over!
Mai: This radio station has now unexpectedly 'adopted' a new program, running from the late, late hours of the night, into the wee hours of the morning!
Peacenikky: So, the 'new' hosts of DUEL96 FM would like to present to you, 'The Graveyard Shift!' *evil, demonic laugh* Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Kaiba: *waves a piece of aluminum around* Lightning! Scaaary lightning!
Aurashi: Our first segment will be devoted to helping you, the viewers!
Keith: That's right, dweebs! It's time for 'Ask Away, Airhead'!
Sarah: Oh, sure, like we're really gonna get any callers with that name!
RPGirl: Either way, call 555-DUEL and we'll see what we can do!
Kajiki: Keep in mind that, though this show is on during the night time, we don't take calls from crazed, caffeine high insomniacs. (many people who were dialing stop)
ESS: And we have a caller! You are?...
Bob: Um, yeah. My name's Bob, and I have a problem… Y'see, I have very, very irregular sleeping patterns and stuffs, so I'm asleep all day and awake all night…
Kaiba: I thought we said no insomniacs?
Judi: Crazed, caffeine high insomniacs, Kaiba.
Bob: So, basically, I need to find a way to regulate all that stuffs… and stuff. Yeah.
Ryuuzaki: Well, personally, I recommend that you-
Sonya: *pushes him out of the way* Give yerself a good whack over the head every night at bedtime with a heavy duty mallet! That'll do it!
Bob: Wha-
Sonya: Thanks for calling! *hangs up*
Mai: …This may take some time. We have another caller…
Mitzi: Hiyas! I'm, like, Mitzi! Hee hee! *cheesy, teenage laugh*Anywho, I have, like, a question for you guyses… See, I rilly, like, like Duel Monsters, and I've been trying to teach a friend of mine how to win and stuff without, like, y'know… whatsit… Cheating! Yeah, cheating! What would be a good way to persuade her to stop cheatin' and stuff?
Mai: Like, what did you say?
Peacenikky: We've got some real weirdoes awake at night…
Haga: I think a good method is to-
Kaori: Whoa whoa whoa, YOU are going to give advice to prevent cheating?
Haga: I-
Aurashi: Now that'll be the day!
Haga: But I-
RPGirl: Yeah, seriously! That's impossible! O_o
Haga: Stoppit! _ Listen, as I was saying, you should-
Sonya: *knocks Haga aside* Give her a whack over the head with a large, blunt object! Thanks for calling! *hangs up*
Sarah: I wish you'd stop doing that…
Haga: Stupid stupid stupid! _ *gets up and walks off elsewhere*
All: ….YAY!
Kaori: We've got another caller, guys…
Judi: You're on the air, caller, and you are?
Randomlamer: Hi, I'm a random lamer, and-
Kaiba: *kicks everyone aside* BUY! SELL! BUY! SELL! Ahahahahahaha! XD *insane, demented laughter* I am the uber lint king! *passes out on top of the hang up button*
Keith: What the?...
Aurashi: That was… random.
Sonya: Hmmph. That was my job. I'm supposed to kick people away!
Ryuuzaki: I wanted to do that…Oh well… *pushes Kaiba off the button*
ESS: Caller, peoples! And you are?
"Random Lamer": *cough* Um, yes. I'm… er… *pauses* a random lamer…
RPGirl: You're calling back since you got cut off, eh?
"Random Lamer": …What?
Mai: You called in not even thirty seconds ago, remember?
"Random Lamer": I did what, now? o.o
Peacenikky: And you got disconnected not even five seconds into your call…
"Random Lamer:: Uh… uh… I have a disorder called 'iforgetstuffeverytwosecondsitus'. Yeah, that's it.
Kajiki: Whatever.
Pegasus: So what's the deal with your call, then? Or should I just look into your soooouuulll?
"Random Lamer": Well, I'd just like to say that this radio station is the worst I've ever heard! You guys really need something better to do!
Original Hosts: *snarl*
"Random Lamer": You should read stock reports all day! It's more interesting than you!
The still passed out Kaiba: *twitch*
"Random Lamer": And another thing! I want my five bucks back! And then I… *rambles on*
All: …wha?
Mai: Hold it! I know that voice! *walks over to the window*
ESS: Whatcha doin', Mai?
Mai: Hmm… *glances out the window* Aha! There! *points*
All: Eh? *they run to the window, and see Haga, yelling into a pay-phone across the street*
Sonya: Alright! I get to shoot my mouth off again! *runs back to the console and shouts into the microphone* OI!
Mai: *watches Haga fall over from the volume, then get up and continue to ramble* It's him alright… Weirdo.
Sonya: Listen up! We know it's you, Haga! Give it up!
Kaori: I think he noticed… *watches him pause, then turn his head towards the window*
All (minus Sonya): Nyaaa! *press their faces against the window and stick their tongues out. They can't hear him, but Haga screams, drops the phone and runs off into the distance*
Pegasus: That's that!
Ryuuzaki: And now, time for our nightly traffic watch, coming up in a few minutes! *puts the music on*
Keith: Nice going, dweeb! Now someone has to go and fly that wrecked chopper!
RPGirl: Um…
Kajiki: Um…
Aurashi: Um…
ESS: Um…
(etcetera, etcetera, etcetera…)
Judi: I'll go!
All: *blink*
Peacenikky: Are you nuts?
Judi: C'mon, how bad could it be? *grabs Peacenikky and throws her in the helicopter, then jumps in herself* Woo hoo!
Mai: Wait a second, didn't the helicopter explode? How'd we get it back?
Myth: The same way all your injuries magically healed between chapters.
Kajiki: *glares at Myth* I'm warning you… *holds up duct tape*
All other original hosts: u__u;;
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Good so far? ^_^;; I tried to give everyone equal lines, so please don't get mad at me, I tried! @_@ Next part should be up soon. Oh yeah! The notice! Anyway,
I've been wanting to try co-writing a fic with someone! o.o If anyone's interested, then email me! (email's in my author profile) If so, I'll see if I can work up a plot
and figure it out from there! o.o Humor only, please! ('cause it's what I'm good at XD;;) Please read and review, everyone! ^_^