DUEL96FM
(The guests cometh – part 2)
By Mythakazu
Aiiyaaa! o_o I'm incredibly sorry for not updating! I could list a load of reasons, but no one ever listens to my excuses, so I shouldn't really bother @_@ I lost my internet connection a while back, though, so that makes up for a couple months or so...
Haga: But that doesn't account for alllll of it u__u
Hush! o_o Look, who made you assistant intro rambler person thing?
Haga: You did.
....Oooh yeaaaaahhh... Anyway, I apologize yet again! ^___^;; Please read a review! You'd make me so much happier! But first, review replies! o.o
Sarah aka Celebi – I didn't forget! ^_^;; Buuut, there IS a problem... See, if I DO incorporate it, it'll seem weird, because this sort of reaction was absent in the previous chapter o__o;; I'm so forgetful _ Maybe Sonya could hit one of 'em over the head, thus making them all crazy and stuffs?
Peacenikky – Yeah, that policy is evil, though it DOES prevent fics for getting insane reviews for no real reason ^_^;;; *BRICK* Try not to crash it, Judi! XD
Gatochu – Say, what's the fic you wanted it in? ^_^ You're perfectly welcome to, of course. I don't even require credit XD It all started with an injoke between me and a friend of mine, really XD (Haga: *twitch* o_o)
ESS – You're welcome ^_^
Kaori – Yay! I'm seemingly still funnier than the horrible search thing! XD Whee!
JoeyWheeler – Glad y'like it XD Too bad you didn't know sooner, though, I could of thrown you in @_@ Not to mention I'd have a better grasp of your personality.
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Judi: How do you fly this thing?... Hmm... *presses a few buttons, and some sheets of metal fall off the helicopter body* Whoops!
Peacenikky: What kind of horrible craftsmanship does this thing have? Sheesh!
Pegasus: Well, we'll leave you to take off, then!
Ryuuzaki: Yup. Take off.
....
....
....
(silence)
Mai: Aren't you forgetting something?
Ryuuzaki: ....Nooooo...
Mai: *points to her head*
Ryuuzaki: Oh yeah! I meant to get one of those drink holder hats! I have to run to the store next commercial break, thanks for reminding-
Mai: HEADSETS, YOU FOOL!
Ryuuzaki: Okay, okay! o_o No need to get scary!
Stalkers: Yeah, angry, scrunched up faces don't make for very good close-ups!
RPGirl: How'd they get here? *does Ryuuzaki's job and hands them both headsets*
Mai: *twitch* I'll get yooooouuu...
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Kaori: Heya! And welcome back to DUEL96FM! I'm your lovely host, Kaori...
Sonya: *mutter* Egotist.
Sarah: *whispers* You should talk.
Kaori: And it's time for your nightly traffic bulletin!
ESS: We've got Judi and Peacenikky out in the helicopter, flying live over the busy streets of Downtown Domino! How's the traffic there, guys?
....
....
....
Kajiki: Um...
Keith: You airheads awake?
(in the helicopter...)
Judi: WHEE! Lookit, it's a SEAGULL! *flying around crazily*
Peacenikky: I'm gonna be siiiick... *weakly moves the microphone to her mouth* Yeah, we're awake... Just waiting for Judi to SMARTEN UP.
Judi: *stops goofing off* Aww, okay... *begins flying the helicopter over the downtown area*
(back at the station)
Mai: So? How's it look around there?
Peacenikky: Well, nothing much to report... After all, it IS kind of late... Though traffic in the business and nightclub districts is thick... Nothing here!
Judi: Ooooh! Wait! I see stuff!
Ryuuzaki: Well, don't just sit there, give us the lowdown!
Peacenikky: Oh my... Um... There seems to be various explosions occurring inside and around one of the buildings here!
All: o_o WHAT?
Judi: ...*sniff* I smell espresso!
Keith: What the heck is that supposed to mean, punk?
Peacenikky: Um... *sniff* She's right, amazingly... I smell coffee!
Aurashi: Give us an update, then!
Peacenikky: Utter pandemonium! The building is the Domino House of Coffeeeeeeeeee.
ESS: Coffeeeeeeeeee?
Judi: The sign really says that!
(A/N: Indeed. It does.)
Pegasus: They can't blow up the coffee factory! I need that to LIVE!
Sarah: I thought you needed 'fruit juice'?
Pegasus: Oh, that was yesterday! I need coffee, foolish girl!
RPGirl: Yes, you heard it here, on DUEL96FM! And you heard it FIRST, too!
ESS: The Domino House of Coffeeeeeeeee is under attack! We'll bring you the details as soon as they're made clear!... or... something!
Kajiki: Do you see who the perpetrator is?
Pegasus: Oooh! Such big, shiny words! *strums on his guitar* Hee hee... *begins to sing*
One day I had decided to call,
the station that had once ruled them all!
To join, take part, in a quiz, you see!
I was champion, something that I must be!
So I phoned, and I phoned, and I got iiiiiiiin!
I had tried so hard, I have to wiiiiiin!
*fast*
AndIusedmyamazingubertalentsanddestroyedthesefoolishmortalsTHEE-
(WHACK)
Sonya: Jeez! Shut up! O_o
Pegasus: *rubs head* But I was almost finished...
Aurashi: What do you mean, 'station that had once ruled them all'?
Pegasus: Well, I assumed that people would tune out once I started singing, for they felt unworthy of my amaaaazing voice!
Ryuuzaki: o_O He's right! We've lost listeners!
Keith: Man, it's been broadcasting! You useless punks!
Peacenikky: Uh... Guys? Hellooooo?
Judi: We're still here! And there's loads of explosions!
Mai: Can you guys see who or what is causing it?
(In the helicopter)
Peacenikky: There's too much smoke! I can't see anything!
Judi: I can't fly any closer...
Peacenikky: Wait... wait... I think I see something!
Judi: It's... it's... IT'S!
Peacenikky: ...Well, what is it, then, if you're so smart?
Judi: I dunno, I just felt like saying that! ^_^
Peacenikky: It looks like a person! They seem to be running around crazily, and posing stupidly... Hang on... It appears to be... KAIBA? O_O
(A/N: Oooh! Plot-twisty! o_o)
(Back at the station, whee.)
ESS: That's impossible! He's right here!
Sarah: ...Isn't he?
(They all turn to the control panel, where Kaiba had previously passed out, and he's currently...)
Mai: ...Not there...
Judi: I see news cameras! Maybe you guys could turn on a TV and find out stuff to report?
Kajiki: How dare you even CONSIDER using some other news program to give us cheap, plagiarized information! It's just not... not... uh... Honorful!
Ryuuzaki: Don't you mean 'honorable'? XD
Kajiki: ...Be quiet! o_o
Ryuuzaki: Make me!
Kajiki: You little...
Kaori: We'll be right back... Uh... Yeah. *turns on the music and stuff*
Keith: Now what, punks?
Aurashi: Will you quit saying that? _o And I don't know...
Kajiki: Easy. *walks over to a corner of the room, and flicks on a small TV set*
All: ....What?
Kajiki: Come on, really? I thought about it for .5 of a second, and I realized that since we can't really get any news on this with just a helicopter, I thought we might... you know... BORROW some information...
Mai: You mean, STEAL it?
Kajiki: o_o Heavens no, woman! I'd give it back afterwards!
Sarah: Riiiiight...
Pegasus: Oooooh, goody! A TV! Let's watch Funny Bunny! *stupid, childish grin*
RPGirl: No! Can't you think of anything else?
Pegasus: ....Um... Hm... That's a good one... Well... Er... Huh... *blink* ...Not a the moment, no. *strums his guitar*
Sonya: Quit that before I smash the darn thing! o_O Crazy old men and their crazy old guitars... Barbaric, I tells ya.
Keith: C'mon, punks! Let's watch!
(on the TV...)
Newswoman: I'm Linda McPorter, reporting live on the scene of a tragic incident in progress. It seems that a crazed madman, identified as Seto Kaiba, is going all out kamikaze on the Domino House of... um... Coffeeeeeeeeee, otherwise known as the Domino Coffee Factory.
Kaiba: *runs in front of the camera* WHEE! I ruuuuule, foolish mortals!
(Pegasus: Aw, come on, now, I doooo!)
(Kaori: Hush!)
Newswoman: Urg... Hey! *pushes Kaiba away, and straightens her hair* He seems to be throwing various explosives around everywhere, and causing utter pandemonium in the usually quiet, peaceful streets of Domino Town!
Kaiba: *in the background* Ha ha ha ha ha ha! *maniacal laughter* Oh yeah!
Newswoman: Weirdo... Anyway, it is the opinions of this reporter that-
*BOOOOOM!*
*static*
(At the station...)
ESS: The heck? What was that?
Pegasus: Let's watch Funny Bunny!
All: NO!
Sarah: *grabs a microphone*Oi! Judi! Peacenikky! You guys see anything?
Judi: Yeah! Some news lady got knocked out by an explosion!
Peacenikky: And I think Kaiba's just declared himself the king of socks...
(At the disaster area...)
Kaiba: Woo hoooo! *standing on a stack of coffee cans* I am the sock master! Bow down to me! *waving a stick, with his socks tied to them* Yes!
Police officer: Now, come on there, sonny... No one's gonna hurt you... Just come down, and we won't have to use force... There's a good- AAAAAHH!
(and now, a brief interlude of Batman music! Nah nah nah nah nah...)
*WHAM!*
*POW!*
*BIFF!*
*ONOMATOPOEIA!*
Judi: *watching above* What in the?...
*KER-BAM!*
(Stop the interlude! Okay! I'm done! o_o)
Kaiba: *climbs back on top of his coffee cans, now with two additional socks tethered to his stick* No one messes with Seto Kaiba! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
(Back at the station...)
Peacenikky: Let's just say... It's really, really weird! O_o
Mai: Hey, the TV's coming back on!
(On the TV...)
Voice, coming from the Camera Dude: Uh... It appears that Miss McPorter has been rendered unconscious by one of the explosions caused by Kaiba... I suppose this means no more news from us until she regains consciousness... I suppose you could tune into that new radio station or something-
(Ryuuzaki! Woo hoo! We're special!)
(Sonya: Can it, Ryuu, we're trying to hear! O_o)
Camera Dude: -but don't forget to check back soon! We should have a new reporter by then... I think...
???: *off camera, of course* No! No! No!
Camera Dude: Hey, what are you doing? Put that back!
???: I'm here to ramble! Now be quiet! *runs into view of the camera, revealing himself to be...*
(Back at the station, woo hoo! o_O... And stuff!)
All: HAGA? O_O
RPGirl: The little twerp!
Aurashi: What's he doing there?
Kaori: Fiend!
Pegasus: *strumming on his guitar* I want Funny, I want Bunny, meow mix, meow mix, gimmie money!
Kajiki: Enough already! O_o *takes the already wrecked guitar and smashes it against the wall*
Pegasus: Ooooh, darn... I wanted to serenade Cecelia when she comes back to life! *sigh*
Sonya: She ain't missin' much...
(On the TV...)
Haga: *holding a microphone he took from the reporter lady* I'm here as an official representative from DUEL96FM, and I'm here to say... That station is EVIL! Pure evil! No one should listen! NO OOONE! O_O *twitch*
Camera Dude: Uhh... *looks around* Hey, kid, while you're here... *whispers*
Haga: And then, you should... What?... *listens* ...Yes... Yes... Okay... Sure!... I guess o_O
*static...*
(ESS: Not again! u__u)
*The signal suddenly returns, but now with official news logos. In fact, it looks like a normal broadcast, aside from Haga looks a little young to be a reporter, and Kaiba running around in the background, accumulating more socks*
Haga: Hello. I'm Insector Haga, reporting live, for channel 5 news. This horrible incident concerning the local coffee factory, socks, and most importantly, Seto Kaiba, is still going strong. Officials have yet to apprehend the insatiable individual, who seems to be attacking anyone who gets too close, and stealing their socks. It is not known if this person is officially deemed insane, although we seem to have a rather accurate opinion of the matter... And... *pauses, and looks up* HEY! HEEEY! I see your helicopter up there! Don't play dumb with me!
Camera Guy: Uhh... Kid? What's your name? Haga? Could you-
Haga: Be quiet, foolish camera person! O_o *twitch* Listen, you! I can't stand your horrible station! You mocked me! Made fun of me! I don't tolerate that! So quiiiiit iiiiit! *wail*
(At the... wait for it... STATION! Wow, who saw that coming? XD)
Keith: The little punk!
Ryuuzaki: He's making fun of our work!
RPGirl: How insulting! I-
ESS: Listen, you guyses! I hate to interrupt, but we're due back on air in about ten seconds! O_O Let's boogie! *turns off the TV*
Pegasus: *clutching a Funny Bunny plushie, and the splinters of his guitar* Rats.
Mai: Wait a minute! *taking her seat* I have an idea! *quickly picks up her microphone* Peacenikky! Judi!
Both: Yeah?
Mai: Listen, there wouldn't happen to be a small radio somewhere in the cockpit, now, would there?
Both: *pause* ...Yes...
Mai: Good! I knew it would still be there! Now, find some rope-
Judi: How?
Mai: I don't know! Don't contradict me! _ Anyway, tie it to the handle on the radio...
(a few seconds later)
Keith: Yo, punks! We're back!
Kaori: This is DUEL96FM! And now, a news update!...
Aurashi: Which is what we would normally say, but we have a special message for a very special listener out there... Heh heh heh... Ha ha ha... HA HA HA HA-
Sonya: *whack* Breathe, breathe!
Aurashi: Ow... Thanks, I needed that.
Kajiki: Now, the rest of you, you can ignore this message... But afterwards, we expect your full attention!
Ryuuzaki: So no dozing off!... Hmm... A good idea... Yeah... zzzZZZZzzzZZZzzz...
RPGirl: Wake up! O_o
Aurashi: Come on! This is crazy enough as it is! *pokepokepoke*
Ryuuzaki: Aww... *mumblemumble* Five more minutes... *drooooooool*
(At the site of the disaster/the helicopter... They're both the same, pretty much.)
Haga: *whining* And another thing!
Kaiba: *runs in front of the camera, now wearing a coffee can on his head, with eye holes cut in, and a cape made of socks. Oh, and his stick* BOW DOWN TO ME! NOW! *runs off*
Haga: ....*pause* Yes... Well... Where was I?... Oh yes! *begins to wail incessantly* I hate you all! You're all so stupi-... What the?
*a small radio is being lowered from above, tied to some string*
Judi: We just pulled on lose threads on these seats 'till we had enough rope!
Haga: What in the?...
Peacenikky: M'kay, you guys, it's all you!
(At the station...)
ESS: Excellent!
Sonya: I'll take care of this! Ranting's my specialty!
(Sonya can be heard both at the station, and on the little radio, because it's tuned to, what else? DUEL96FM. Oh, and every other radio tuned in, too. Duh.)
Sonya: OI!
Everyone in the disaster area: *fall over from sheer volume*
Sonya: Listen up, Haga! You little traitor! How dare you report for another station? Radio or not, that's treason! Now, look, we've already had to bug you once! Quit rambling! You should know perfectly well that's MY job to be all evil and stuff, so give it up! You're all crazy and stuffs! Blargh! I don't like yoooou!
Sarah: *heard in the background* You're starting to sound really crazy yourself.
Sonya: Quiet, aibou! I'm ranting! And I-
Judi: Hey! You guys! Kaiba's doin' something funny!
All: Eh?...
Kaiba: *jumping on his pedestal of coffee cans, amidst the total wreckage of the coffee factory. He's still wearing his coffee mask, his sock cape, and his stick is almost totally covered with socks* I am Captain COFFEE SOCK! And you shall all PERISH! Ahahahahaha! Be afraid of my... UBER SOCK ATTACK! *points his stick at the sky* Uuuuubeeeeerrrrr soooooooccckkkk...
All: O_O
Kaiba: ....ATTACK!
....
....
....
Nothing!
Kaiba: ...Blargh, why isn't this working? Soooooock! Sock sock sock!
Men in White: Now, don't worry, son, we've come to help you... *they grab Kaiba around his arms, and drag him off*
Kaiba: No! No! No! You can't do this to me! MY SOCKS SHALL AVENGE ME! Arrr! *flail*
Men in White: Now now, don't squirm! If you're good, maybe we won't have to use the tranquilizers! *they chuck Kaiba in the back of a van, and drive off*
Mai: *over the radio* Well, this is DUEL96FM! We'll be right back, after these annoucements! *click*
Kaori: Okay, Judi, you can bring the chopper back!
Judi: Goody! It's boring, keeping this thing in one place!
Peacenikky: Maybe so, but it's definitely not boring keeping this thing in one piece... *a sheet of metal falls off* My point exactly... *shouts out the window* Heads- *WHACK*... too late. Oh well.
Judi: Let's go! *begins to fly the helicopter back*
...
...
...
*loud crashes can be heard below, along with screams now and then*
Pegasus: What's that noise?
Peacenikky: ...Judi, did you remember to bring the radio back up?
Judi: ....Oh yeaaaaah... *reels it back in* Now, let's get back to the station!
(and with that resolved, all is now silent at the remains of the coffee factory, minus a few loose socks flying around...)
...
...
...
...
...
Haga: ...*sitting amidst the wreckage* ...Hellooooo?... *blink* Aww... *gets up, and begins to trudge back to the station*...*sigh*... I should of apologized, so I could of at least gotten a free ride back... *shrug* Ah well, too bad for them. *slapped in the face by a sock* @_@
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So, how was that? ^__^;; Again, I apologize to Kaiba fans, and any other fans of any other character I may have offended @_@ Don't eat me or nothin'! Now, before you are so kind as to read and review (I hope ^_^;;), a couple things...
First off, any suggestions for the next chapter would be greatly appreciated! I already have some long term plans, but I need more! o_o So, if anyone has an idea or two, I'd love to hear it! XD I don't care how crazy it is!
Second off... (you're gonna kill me for this), but I'd like to shamelessly plug a spiffy little Animal Crossing ficcie co-written by JoeV aka PlatformerMastah and myself, called "The Crazed Adventures of Sonny and Pchan!". Go to to read it, okay? ^_^ And leave a little review for that, if you get the chance!
Okay! Now I'm done! ^_^ So... um... yay! Review, please, I always love your comments! ^_^