Disclaimer: No, I'm not stealing Inu Yasha *hides big box behind her, 'thing' inside begs to be taken out*… and Miroku *more muffling*… and Sesshoumaru *screams are heard*… and Kouga *hears banging*… Everyone knows they belong to Rumiko Takahashi! *Looks innocent*
Ready, Set, SHAVE!
Chapter 6: The Final Showdown!
Author's Note:
As promised, I updated this in a week! HAHAHA! You shall all suffer my wrath if I don't get more than 80 reviews! Actually… I wouldn't care… My chapters would just come in slower… and slower… and shorter… and shorter… until my muse collapses *sobs*. We don't want that to happen, now, would we! Anyway, thanks for all the reviews I received for the last chapter… It meant a lot to me! Well, as promised… chapter 6!
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Both miko sped away with almost inhuman speed. They squirted on shaving cream, making a rich layer of foam. Kagome's smelled nice and fruity, while Kikyo's smelled like spring flowers. When the risk of making cuts were thin, the girls raised their razors.
Kagome sped through the foam, shaving off hair like a professional. She made sharp turns, extremely dangerous when shaving fast. The judges marveled at her daring.
Kikyo was also quite good. She took things a little slower, ensuring that there would be no cuts. Her skill was one of a modern-day girl who was used to shaving. Suddenly, she made a small cut. Fortunately for her, none of the judges saw. She continued shaving. The judges admired her patience.
When Kagome was done, she called for water, which appeared. She quickly rinsed off the remaining foam. The judges smiled and gave thumbs ups to each other.
Kikyo finished a little later, but she was hardly losing. She, too, called for water. The foam was washed off, reveling stunning legs. All judges grinned at her performance.
Kagome then took a daring dive and grabbed a bottle of her favorite lotion, Cotton Candy Dream (I have this lotion… I get high on it too much!). She lightly appiled some on.
Kikyo grabbed another bottle of lotion, homemade. "Green Tea" was a guaranteed moisturizer. After all, her legs were living… er… dead… proof! She spread a little on, remembering this time not to suffacate the judges with too much smell. The small cut she had accidentally made earlier was hardly visible and did not bleed. She sighed with relief.
At the same time, the girls yelled, "DONE!"
"Can it be?!" Shippo asked the 'crowds'. "Another tie? Lets see the quailty!"
Naraku jumped happily from side to side.
"What are you so happy about?" Kouga asked.
"Another offspring! Waiting to be made!"
"You mean you're going to make another demon thing… with the leg I worked so hard on?" Kikyo asked, outraged.
"That's right! We didn't do this so you could be happy!" Kagome yelled.
"Well, Granny told me to never waste!" Naraku whispered.
"Oh! Well, when you put it that way… Go ahead!" Kikyo said.
Kagome nodded her head in agreement.
"The judges will now parade around the legs to see which one is the best!" Shippo called.
Like Shippo commanded, the judges walked around the legs with clipboards (they 'magically' appeared!) and took notes. They examined them extremely carefully, whispering to each other all the while.
Inu Yasha walked up to Shippo and whispered something in his ear.
"The judges will have the results very soon. Please be patient and wait," Shippo announced.
Kagome and Kikyo were both extremely restless. They walked back and forth, staring at the judges, trying to eavesdrop. Kagura, looking bored, started filing her nails. Sango played with Kirara. Kaede checked out Sesshoumaru's butt.
"MMMMMM! Ain't his butt SO fine?!" She whispered loudly to Sango.
Sango looked like she swallowed a frog and went behind a tree, where she howled in laughter.
Sesshoumaru had heard Kaede with his excellent hearing and looked very uncomfortable. He tried to stand behind Miroku.
"Now, now, honey! I won't hurt you!" Kaede yelled at his action.
Sesshoumaru quieted a scream on horror and stuttered out, "I-I'm too y-young for you!"
Kaede looked like she was talking to an idiot. "Yeah, whatever, like you aren't Inu Yasha's older brother? And isn't he already 68 or something? Why, you oughta say that you're too old for me!"
Inu Yasha looked huffy at his age being told while Sesshoumaru quickly said, "I'm too old for you!"
Kaede now looked like she was talking to the very young and very stupid. "Oh yeah, and the authoress of all this is sane!" she said sarcastically. (Me: WHAT! I AM TOO SANE! Wait… No, I'm not. Never mind!)
"B-but, you wouldn't like d-dating me! I'm a total heartbreaker!" Sesshoumaru said in last attempt to make Kaede stop checking him out.
"You should know, dear, in my day, my nickname was the Heartbreaking Queen!" Kaede said, smirking.
"Yeah, in her day!" Naraku whispered to Kouga, who laughed.
"What'd you say?" Kaede said sharply.
"Nothing!"
Inu Yasha grabbed Sesshoumaru, Kouga, and Naraku's shirts and pulled them back to the huddle. When they were finally done whispering, Inu Yasha walked up to Shippo, whose eyes widened at what he heard.
"The judges…"
"Yes, yes, WHAT?!" Kikyo yelled.
"They said…"
"SHIPPO!" Kagome whined.
"The winner is…"
Everyone strained to hear Shippo, who LOVED the attention.
"Is…"
"SHIPPO!" everyone yelled.
"Both of you! It was a tie!"
Everyone fell down anime style while Kagome and Kikyo looked murderously at the judges.
"What so you mean?!" Kikyo asked, outraged.
"Yeah! There's five judges!" Kagome continued, in the same tone.
"Well, it turned out that one of out judges remained neutral!"
"Can I ask which one?" Kikyo asked.
"All we want to tell him is how we appreciate someone being so brave to opposing us, I mean, you're all demons and we're just the strongest miko ancient Japan has seen and we could kill you all in seconds!" Kagome said sweetly.
All the judges fidgeted nervously. Inu Yasha started looking at the sky.
"Was it you, Naraku?" Kikyo asked.
"Nope!" Naraku quickly said.
"Was it you, Miroku?" Kagome guessed.
"Wasn't me!"
"Could it have been Sesshoumaru?"
"As if!"
"So it had to be you, Inu Yasha!" Kikyo yelled.
"How could you?!" Kagome exploded.
"Yeah! How could you, Inu Yasha! I thought you loved me! Now you've left with this… this… this poopy-head!"
"Eh? Kikyo, that was pathetic!" Kagome said.
"Well, I'd like to see you do better!"
"FINE! I will!"
"Bring it on!"
"I AM!"
Sango had gotten a bit bored. "Okay, guys, it's getting kinda old."
"But what can we do?" Kagome asked.
"Why don't you guys check again for any cuts or hairs you judges could have missed."
"Hey! That's a good idea!" Kikyo said. 'That girl's dead! My almost perfectly shaved legs will win this! I will get Inu Yasha to come to hell with me!' she thought.
Kagome was having the same thoughts. 'No doubt her legs aren't as nicely shaved as mine! I've been shaving since I was 12! She's only just started! I mean, why would she have to? She's always wearing that long skirt!'
All the judges crowded around the legs once again.
"HEY!" Naraku suddenly yelled. "There's a cut on this leg! Whose is it?"
"Uhhhh… That's Kikyo's leg! Kikyo! You made a cut!" Inu Yasha yelled.
"NOOO! That's impossible! I never make mistakes!" Kikyo screamed out. She sounded like she had been convicted of trying to killing her ex. (You did though!)
"That means I get to keep Inu Yasha!" Kagome cheered.
"You make me sound like a pet of some sort!" Inu Yasha protested.
"NOOO! Inu! You're mine!" Kikyo kept on yelling.
Naraku shook his head. 'Poor, defeated, girl… I bet I can help!' "Hey, Kikyo! You want to come to yoga class with me?" he offered.
"SURE!" Kikyo said, interested.
"Let's go then!" Naraku said. The two linked arms and left together.
"Aww! Wasn't that cute?" Kouga asked.
"Yeah! And that's not the best thing! I'm now free!" Kagura whooped.
"That's great! You want me to show you around?" Kouga asked.
"Sure. Why not! You're a prince, right? Give me the best you got!" Kagura said, extremely happy.
Together, the two left.
Rin suddenly appeared. "Who won?" she asked.
"I did!" Kagome said.
"Can I have Shippo, then?" she asked.
"Why don't you asked Shippo himself?"
"Shippo! Do you wanna come with me?" Rin asked the cowering kitsune.
"N-no!" he answered.
"Alright, then. Come on, Sesshoumaru-sama! Come help me train Jaken!" The small girl grabbed Sesshoumaru's hand and led him away.
"Guess it's just us now!" Miroku happily said, looking at Sango.
She slapped him. "Dream on!"
Kagome and Inu Yasha stood awkwardly next to each other.
Suddenly, Inu Yasha jumped up. "Oh no! We wasted valuable Shard hunting time! Let's go!"
Everyone sweat dropped.
Miroku popped up. "Can I keep these legs? They're pretty!"
"MIROKU, YOU ENCHII!"
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Hiya all! I'm glad you liked this! Please review! There is going to be an epilogue after this, so don't think this is over! After that, there is going to be a few chapters of parody. I've stared writing them and they are really FUNNY! Hope to see you all soon!
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Responses to Reviews:
pissed you were wrong: YAY! A flame! Actually, I knew it could be Chicken Little. However, I have heard both titles used, and decided to use what I did.
Sorena27: Evil family! I know I'm mad. I've known it since I discovered the joy of sancing barefoot while singing "Girls just wanna have fun." LOL!
Edom: HAHA! Kagome win! YAY! Naraku can be… er… 'strange' LOL! Anyway… I love Ramen… It's good…!
Demon-cat: Yeah, it's Kagome who wins, but it could have been Kikyo! I'm not a great fan of her, though!
Kyoji Mikamora: KOOL! A guy reader! I was wondering if a guy would read this! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Majik: Thank you so much! You've made my ego reach an all time high!
Lovely moonlight maiden: Thank you! I've heard that Venus razors do that! My friend gets all huffy about it!
KFPC: EVIL TOASTERS! DIE! I loved your review! I e-mail you soon with Chapter 4!
Slice: Go Kagome! YEAH!
ArtemisMoon: You are such a good writer and updater! I'm envious! Keep writing, please!
Rin281: I'm jealous! I want those books! See you at school!
Julia-Tears: I'm sending the 'sneak-peeks' right after this! Enjoy them! I loved your review!
Ryuke-chan aka Naoe: I'm Chinese, too! This is so cool! Thanks for loving this!
Cooldas: I'm glad you think this is original! I wanted people to laugh when they read this!
Lady BlackDragonFire: I'm updating! I'm glad you like this! Go crazy!