Chapter 16-Touya
I was eating my third bowl of ice cream. It was awfully hot that day-I couldn't imagine how my sister could bring herself to go out there in this temperature. I was at Yukito's, yet again, this time with no one else there, except of course, Yue ( slash, Yukito), and Syaoran. ( We've never gotten use to his real name.)
Syaoran was utterly exhausted that day, but he refused to stay in bed despite Yue's pleadings. He was leaning against me with his own bowl of ice cream-his first, chocolate of course, which was melting since he couldn't eat it fast enough.
Syaoran finally finished his ice cream and set it on the table. We were watching TV together. Yukito was restless so he wasn't with us. I felt Syaoran's head slide into my lap and found that he had fallen asleep.
Poor guy. I thought to myself. All tired and weak. I gently lifted him up and carried him upstairs to his room.
Hm. I thought. It's been a long time since he last had a concert. I grimaced at all the dust on his cello case. Tucking the child in I closed the door behind me.
" So there was this time when Syaoran was at the competition and a string popped.
It went from a D all the way to a B flat. The judges were just staring at the poor kid,
and Syaoran said he had never felt more nervous in his entire life."
" He was seven years old, wasn't he?"
" Hai." Yukito smiled. " So the judges at first just stared at him. Syaoran couldn't
really continue with that thing, so they told him that he could come back again
when he fixed that string of his. Syaoran went to a nearby shop to do it. He was so
frightened. Ended up in the High Honors and had a concert."
" Was Xuyan there?"
" Iie. That time Xuyan was sick, so Syaoran was all alone. I wonder if that boy
knew it after...Syaoran never mentioned it."
" I thought when strings on a cello or violin pop they pop...literally."
" Iie, they just lose their hold and then lower their pitch. Did you hear that Eriol had
to restring that piano of his, by the way, because Spinel spilled water all over them
and they began to rust."
" Elgh. Cats."
" Eriol-san was so mad. That time when he went back to England he was so glad
because he finally could play a decent instrument. Now that he's here he tried to fix
that thing, then gave up and sold it to a piano factory. He bought another Steinway,
and he was so happy because it didn't have any problems with it. I wonder if the
sound board rusted too. If it did he's going to have to oxidate it or something."
" Hai a good sound board is hard to find."
" Hai! Pianos are so much trouble. So are cellos. In fact, perhaps the only thing that
you don't really have to worry about is the triangle."
" The cello? What's wrong with that?"
" Syaoran once was practicing when Meiling accidentally knocked a dent into it. He
was so angry and annoyed. Luckily it was the half sized one."
" She knocked a dent? I didn't know she was so clumsy."
" She wasn't. She thought wood is so tough and all so she just kicked it when
Syaoran's not looking."
" I knew she was naughty." I laughed. " How old were they?"
" How old do you think? Meiling joined Syaoran when they were six. That
happened when they were seven, about five years ago."
" Well, what can you expect from a seven year old. But I thought girls are supposed
to be quiet."
At this Yukito snorted and nearly choked on his food. " Never generalize,
Touya." He began. " It's not healthy. There are always exceptions. Look at Sakura,
for example."
" Sakura's not wild."
" Iie, she isn't, but she isn't quiet either. She has the potential to be loud if she wants
to. Remember that time when she was at the festival? Syaoran-kun!! I'm so glad
you're here!!!"
I wacked that guy with a sponge. " Don't make fun of my imotou."
" Not making fun of her." Yukito laughed. " She's my mistress, after all; it wouldn't
be proper. Tomoyo-chan is probably a good example of someone who's quiet. She
has a classic personality. She doesn't exercise too much, maybe that's why she's not
as strong as Sakura. She wouldn't be able to handle a lot of stress. Poor thing!"
" Hai, and Nakuru is an eighteen year old version of Meiling."
We both had a vision of Nakuru, jumping up. Touya!!!
" Brrr." I shivered. " Gives me the creeps."
" She doesn't do that anymore." Yukito said, puzzled. " I wonder why. Ever since
last year when we went to Hong Kong she doesn't do that anymore. She became so
quiet. Except at Oxford-something to do with the English air there."
" Maybe she's just excited to be among people her own age. We have a bunch of
twelve year olds among us. We can't exactly talk to them. Anyone know about
Salmonella?"
" Domo arigatou. I thought you don't know about salmonella or ecoli."
" Learned those in sixth grade, baka. You don't have to be a doctor to know some
basic bacteria."
" Still. It's true. Try teaching them economics. Sakura will be like ' hoe?'"
I laughed. Yukito seemed to be in a better mood today.
" ' Prices are determined by the relationship between Supply and Demand'" I acted
like my social studies teacher, " ' to which if the Supply is higher than the demand
the prices lower and if vice versa the prices go higher and if both are equal the
prices stay the-'" Yukito threatened to wack me with his spatula. " Ah! Please don't
hurt me!"
" Damare!" Yukito laughed. " You sound like I'm abusing you."
" I'm being abused by a half insane million year old guardian who is one hundred
percent stressed and is two percent fossilized-"
" I'm not a million years old, for your information, I am not insane, half or no, and I
am not stressed."
" You got that last part wrong. I think the second part is wrong also."
" I am not abusing you, for your next information."
" Two percent fossilized?"
" I don't think so."
" Aw, I wish you were. One hundred percent. That way I'll be rich."
" Hey! That was not funny!"
" Well, I could use the money," I began to try to run away from Yukito, who was
holding his spatula high in the air, " Perhaps buy Sakura a new pair of blades,
maybe save some money for college, start a business of some kind...or, or," I
ducked behind a counter and skooted off, " Buy a mansion the size of Tomoyo's, or,
or maybe buy one of those cars, those German cars, an SUV, perhaps, or maybe
just keep you so I can show everyone I found a fossil!"
Yukito laughed, I chuckled, and he went back to cooking.
" I've learned something these days." He said while flipping the food with his spatula
( the same one he threatened to hit me with), " Syaoran loves tofu. Not regular tofu,
one of those old tofus that act like sponges. And tofu with pork in the middle. He
loves them. Oh, and also those stinky tofus that smell like ancient history. He also
loves wintermelon soup with meatballs. He dives into them like Kero, even in his
state." Here Yukito's voice cracked a little. " Chocolate too."
" Do you still give him the herbal medicine?" I asked quietly.
" Iie. He no longer needs them, or rather, they are of no use to him anymore. An
attack comes when it comes. Sometimes he stays in bed for two days in a row. I'm
staying with him for as long as I can."
He scooped up the tofu and set it on a plate, then arranged them outside a
small pile of vegatables in the middle. Cooking Chinese style. Then he brought the
dish over to the dining table.
" Where is he?" Yukito asked.
" Upstairs, sleeping. Should I wake him?"
" He'll come down. Let us wait." Yukito sat down, tired. " He loves it when he
sleeps and I lie down next to him, you know what I mean? They always said
Chinese parents sleep with their kids when they're young. Syaoran never said so,
but I know he likes it. He sleeps better that way, wakes up more rested and attacks
come less often. He likes to snuggle up to me, you know To-ya? Wrap my arms
around himself. Sometimes he just listens to my heart. One time we were taking an
afternoon nap together. I was singing a song in my head, one of those calm songs
that he had played on his cello, and then he started humming the exact same notes
in his sleep!"
" Wow..." Was all I could say.
" There was one time at night, somewhere around midnight, when I was lying next
to him, him in my arms, when Syaoran suddenly asked me to tell him a story. Tell a
twelve year old a story! But he said he was tense for some reason, and telling him a
story would relax him. It seems like Syaoran is trying to capture his childhood
again. It's not too late really, and so I told him a story. It's all nonsense really, a child
who met a deer in the woods and befriended it. When Syaoran was falling asleep he
suddenly told me that I told him that same story a long time ago, when he was six. I
wasn't there when he was six." Yukito was crying. " It was the story he had made
his shadow father make up. It was the exact same story Touya!"
I've never seen Yukito so moved. Being his best friend he poured everything out to me.
There was a sound of the door opening and a very tired boy came out.
" Hey Syaoran-kun." I called. " Want some tofu?"
" Tofu?" Syaoran suddenly tripped. He fell down some part of the stairs and a
groan was heard.
" Syaoran?" Yukito shot up from his seat. We ran over.
Syaoran looked dazed. Yukito ran up to him. I waited at the bottom.
" Is he alright?"
" He looks alright. Dazed, but alright. Do you think you can walk?"
Syaoran got up shakily. He followed his father downstairs.
" He got up too quickly." Yukito told me. We helped him to his lunch.
A young child, manchild. A young manchild doomed to die. But is he really
doomed? We don't know, because this is no longer the past that we are talking
about. We don't know what happens next because we've never been through it. This
is the present, and there is no way we could tell the future, because fate has not
planned anything. The caves no longer help us. Wizards prove of little assistance. We
are on our own. Syaoran is on his own. No matter how much love we give him,
how much support, he will always be fighting on his own. The goal is no longer to
heal. The goal is now to live long enough for all of us to enjoy the last moments
together, to share our memories, our sorrows, our happiness. The goal is now to
love, to live our lives as families will, to understand one another. To settle all scores.
To leave each other without regret. That is the goal. It is the only goal that we are
able to reach. All others are not known.
Does the child know too? Perhaps he does. Why else did he take Sakura out one night, all alone to themselves, and did not return until the next break of dawn? Why else would he spend all his time with her, with Yue, with Kero, of all people? Why else would he go to movies with us, to banquets, to festivals, sharing cakes, watching television, talk on the phone, sometimes just going out for a short walk, even though everytime he comes back weak and tired?
Living for the moment, as Eriol said, as Sakura said, as everyone said. Living for the moment, just to enjoy the life as it is. Because right now this is life, balanced on a single thread. You don't know when you'll die, perhaps a second later, a minute later. Everyday is the last day one will spend together, because you don't know if there is a tomorrow. You don't even know if there is a tonight. Because Syaoran could break down any minute, just like that, a snap and he's gone. And this time the dead are powerless to help him. Powerless to stop him. Because the dead are controlled by their own element. Just as we are controlled by ours.
And so the child is living halfway between Life and Death. Living halfway between Survival and Defeat. Fate made no plans for him in this world and made no plans for him now. We only knew one thing for sure. If all comes to an end, we will still be like this, a big family of nonrelatives. A big family, carrying on the legacy of Clow Reed, the legacy of magic, the legacy of the half mortal doomed to die. The legacy of the manchild that might die too young. The legacy of love that will never die as we someday will.