Chapter 17-Syaoran
" I can't read this!" I squinted. Yukito looked at me worriedly.
" Syaoran, even I can read those words."
" Give me those!" I snatched Yukito's glasses and put them on. " That's better. Leh,
what is this, a witch potion?"
Yukito snatched the glasses back. " I don't want you to have glasses Syaoran. Glasses are a whole lot of trouble. Here, let me help you with your eyes. You've been too strained lately."
Meanwhile, Mimi was sitting beside me looking very much unhappy.
" We are witches." She said quietly. I scowled.
" Do witches read microscopic letters?" I asked, snatching the glasses back.
" Syaoran, even I can read those words, without my glasses." Yukito sounded
worried now. " What's wrong with your eyes?"
I didn't answer, instead I droppedsome herbs into the pot. " Wizards make
potions?" I mumbled.
" Not really well, apparently." George laughed. " We usually cast direct spells.
Witches are the healers and the poisoners."
" Syaoran, take those off." Yukito took the glasses off my nose.
" Hey!"
" I don't want you to have eyes like mine, besides, these glasses are really strong."
Yukito put them on. " I'll try to make your eyes feel better. You've been sleeping
too much."
" I did not sleep that much-" But Yukito's fingers were at my temples already and
was rubbing them in circles, making me feel lightheaded.
" Don't-like-massage."
" No one like you does." Yukito grumbled. " I don't want another four eyes in my
home. Your eyes look much better without being magnified-they're so big already."
" Ow! They are?"
" Hai." Yukito started to brush his fingers roughly against my brow.
" Ow! You're going to peel those off!"
" You might need to. Your brows are too thick already. Imagine when you reach
puberty."
" Otou-san!!"
" He's right, you know." George chuckled.
By now Yukito had his thumbs under my eyes and was rubbing them so I
thought the bones would break.
" Do you have to do it that hard?"
" Iie. This is the hardest part." Yukito intentionally made it a pun.
He went to the tendons between my brows.
" Ow!"
" Gee, Yukito-san!" Mimi laughed. " Torturing your own son, eh?"
" Torture? I do the best torture. This isn't torture yet." Yukito finished and I couldn't
open my eyes anymore.
" Did you do something to my tendons?"
" Hai. I made them relax. Now just let your eyes remain closed for a while. And
then you'll be all better."
Curiously, it worked.
" Wow! Those words aren't so blurry anymore!"
" Hai."
" But they're still too small! I'm getting a headache!"
This time Yukito went to my neck and shoulders, and I instantly regretted that comment.
" I'm feeling better today." I mumbled. " The cello is so dusty!"
" Are you sure?" Yukito asked. " Don't hurt your fingers."
I shot him a scowl. " Yukito!"
" Alright, alright, alright." Yukito backed off. " I just played it once. The strings are
hard to press."
I grumbled and sat down, adjusting the endpoint. It was when I started when I realized the strings are hard to press.
" I can't do it." I mumbled quietly. " Why can't I press down?"
Yukito said nothing. He just circled his arms around me and rested his head against my shoulder.
" My arms are tired and sore, my fingers are sore, my chest is sore, my legs are
sore. I can't do anything!" I fell upon the bed. " Some wretched disease this is! If it
could be something like a heart attack or a stroke, and I just die right there it would
have been perfectly fine!"
" It wouldn't be perfectly fine." Father muttered by he didn't break into my
thoughts.
" And now I can't weild a sword, I can't read, I can't play the ce-" I gasped as
suddenly everything went dark.
" Syaoran?" Father's voice rang out. " Syaoran, what's wrong?"
" O-o-otou-san..." I started to tremble. " Did everything just go black?"
I felt a rush of wind and a cold hand on mine. I screamed.
" Syaoran! Calm down! Tell me exactly what happened." Father's voice was really
loud.
" I was just talking, and then...then everything is black."
" Can you see me?"
" No." I switched to Cantonese, and I felt for him. His arms went around me and I
grabbed onto his neck. " I can't see anything!!"
" Shh." I heard his voice say soothingly. " We'll figure out about this. Just relax.
Close your eyes..."
" Syaoran..."
I felt bitter. I didn't even look at the direction of the voice. Everything was dark. Wait, not dark. Just...
Nothing!
" His eyes are white." I heard Tomoyo whisper. My hearing senses became more acute and I scowled. Suddenly I tripped over something. Someone caught me.
" Careful." I heard Father say. The hands pulled my arms up and I felt my hands touch hair. Something wrapped around my waist and suddenly I was lifted.
" Oof, too light." I heard Touya laugh. It was a sad laugh though.
I did not feel like being carried but I was too scared to let go.
" Don't worry, Touya won't drop you." I heard Yukito's voice from far away and
decided Father must have transformed.
I didn't say anything. Ever since the day when my vision was gone I didn't feel like talking and the others didn't force me either. I didn't like to be babied but I figured I had no choice.
All of the sudden I was on a sofa.
Something was pressed against my lips. I sniffed. A cookie. I don't want a
cookie! Why give me a cookie? Shaking my head I pushed it away, and tried to
dodge the cookie. Someone sighed. How come I don't know who it was?
" He's bleeding at the mouth." I heard Eriol say. " Funny, we haven't seen that in a
long time." Someone wiped at my mouth and I hissed, but they went on wiping.
" He got upset." I heard Yukito say.
Of course I was upset. I'm blind. I wanted to say, but that would only mean that I really am blind and I didn't want to admit that.
What's the use?
Syaoran...
Leave me alone. I thought. I don't want to hear it.
Syaoran, listen to us. We want to help you.
How? I asked. How will you help me? I lost my sight. I thought the world was beautiful. What beauty is there in darkness?
Many ways the world is lovely without color, Syaoran. Said the spirits of the dead. Take the bow. Pluck the strings.
Stumbling, I picked up the cello without seeing it. I picked up the bow and tightened it. I found the strings.
Play.
And before I knew it, I was playing. I heard distant footsteps. I heard a gasp.
But I went on playing. The music sounded more beautiful somehow.
Within the music I heard distant laughter. It sounded familiar. Who was laughing? And to my surprise I found the voice was mine. The laughter came from long ago, so long I barely remember it.
There was a time when I was innocent. There was a time when I knew no darkness. There was a time I laughed like that. Even now, after Father found me, after I found my father, I had never laughed like that.
Now I never will. Because all around me is darkness.
" Syaoran?"
I stop. I search my mind.
" Sakura?"
A hand was laid on my shoulder. Suddenly, I didn't want that hand. I didn't want her here. I didn't want to listen to her voice. So I shrugged it off.
A hushed silence. But I didn't care. The disease has cost me enough.
And then suddenly there was a new card. That card was in my hand when I stood up, knocking my cello over. I felt it in my hand, and froze at the words.
The Voice that Speaks.
What could it mean? Why did it come out? I didn't try to make it.
" Syaoran-kun?"
That voice again. It's that Kinomoto girl.
" What do you want." I asked.
There was a hurt silence, but she pressed on.
" Yue-san thought that you might want to go to..."
" The concert?" I snapped.
She fell quiet again.
I laughed bitterly. Such foolishness.
" Iie." I said to her. " Go if you must. I'm staying here."
" Syaoran-kun, why are you acting this way? Just because you lost your sight,
doesn't mean that you lost everything!"
I turned towards the sound of her voice and handed over the card.
" Guess what's next to go." I said to her. I felt her hand accept the card and waited.
" Oh don't bother." I said when she was about to speak. " Don't bother telling me that it doesn't mean anything. I know very well what it means. This is a disease, you baka. It's not just any kind of disease. It's a disease of a half mortal. And guess what? I'm going towards the climax. I'm pretty sure my sense of hearing would go away some time, and then my sense of touch, maybe, my sense of smell, sense of taste, ability to move around, and, and-" I felt my voice cracking. Why was it cracking?
I felt hot tears. Tears. Why was I crying? I didn't want to cry. But suddenly I fell to my knees and started sobbing.
Why? I cried to whoever might hear me. What did I do to deserve this? Wasn't it enough that I was a failure? You have to make me suffer. You had to make me suffer. Twelve years! I have been through this for twelve years!! Why didn't you just let me heal already so I can live a life like Sakura?
And now I can't love. My heart is so empty...
But no one listened. No one heard.