Disclaimer: I can't remember exactly what characters I do own and
which I don't, so I'll say this: All copyrighted, trademarked or otherwise
owned property is property of it's respective owner and no ownership is
implied on the author's part. Enjoy!
~~Chapter Six: Dreamy~~
Kevin didn't have time to feel bad for how rude he was to Lyra earlier. The moment he closed his dormitory door behind him, he staggered over to his bed and collapsed onto it. He didn't know what was happened-the only thing he was sure of was that he had felt that way before.
Before.
No thoughts. Just before.
Trying to keep his mind from wandering, Kevin made himself go to sleep.
No other dreams haunted him the rest of the night.
The first glimmers of sunlight through the dormitory window woke Kevin early in the morning. He felt, for the first time in a long time, very well rested.
-Morning. What happened? Where...- A glance at the scabbing wound on his left arm brought his memories back all at once. With a sigh, he lay back against the pillows again.
There were too many puzzles here for him to figure out. He needed help. But whose? Certainly not his fellow first-years. he wasn't going to get any help on this from an eleven year old. A teacher. no, he couldn't trust them yet. That was his mistake before.
He saw only one choice. Whether or not he gave away everything, it seemed the only sensible thing to do. He had to talk to Dumbledore-and today, before he slept again.
Kevin dressed slowly, trying to think of what he'd say. He could walk over to Dumbledore after breakfast and ask him if he could talk. Dumbledore would surely know what he meant. He would first tell him about. what? Did he want to betray Krysten's secret, and tell Dumbledore about the centaurs? What if he told her not to see them again?
-This is more important then the feelings of a single girl,- he snapped to himself. -Still. I could begin on a different tack; no point in endangering her secret first thing.-
Perhaps he could say he was still having dreams. Vivid ones. He could tell Dumbledore about himself. the him he had seen in his dreams.
-And he'd think you're insane.-
Kevin sighed. What could he do? Show Dumbledore the cut on his arm? What else would he give away? None of it made sense. He had heard good things about the Headmaster, but he didn't buy for one second that he would believe a thirteen-year-old boy with an odd scar and some crazy stories. Especially one who had been through something that could quite possibly provoke insanity.
-Is it crazy to live in the past?- A part of him way back in his head asked. -If the past is preferable to the present, why not live in it instead? You miss them, don't you. chess with Archibald, scheming out another trick with him and Rauol. and just talking to Julianne. Looking in her eyes.-
"SHUT UP!" Kevin roared, pounding his fist against a wall. Students all around poked their heads out of their bed curtains, wondering why he had yelled. Kevin ignored them and walked downstairs. But it had worked-the voice was gone.
Along the way to the Great Hall, he encountered a group of Slytherins he had heard about-Draco Malfoy and his clique, Crabbe, Goyle, and a few other Slytherins, included a girl taller then Kevin himself.
"Don't remember seeing your face around here," Malfoy drawled. "You must be one of the first years." He walked forward slowly and held out his hand. "If you're smart, you'll make friends with the most important people around here-namely, us Slytherins. Interested?"
"I -know- I haven't seen your mug before," Kevin snapped back, "Because you don't have the black eye I would have given you yet."
Draco drew his hand back with a look of disgust, and his two thugs Crabbe and Goyle stepped forward, attempting to look menacing. "You'll regret that, fool." Draco said coldly, and spun on his heel, walking away.
Back at Ashallan, Kevin hadn't really been a troublemaker. He'd have played a few pranks on the teachers with his friends every now and then, but it was all in good fun, of course. However, he despised arrogant purebloods like Malfoy. They deserved just what he liked giving them.
"Wait a second," Kevin called after Malfoy. The blond-haired boy stopped, turned, and walked a few steps back, sneering at Kevin.
"What now?"
"I don't remember giving you that black eye I promised yet."
"Are you-"
Unfortunately for Draco Malfoy, he never got to finish that sentence. Kevin's right fist swung forward and caught him in the jaw, sending him reeling a few steps back in shock and pain.
Crabbe and Goyle jumped forward, glad to have an excuse to hit somebody. Kevin dodged a clumsy punch from Crabbe, pulling out his wand, and jumped a few steps back.
"WHAT IS THIS?" Guiltily, Kevin dropped his wand and turned around. A thin, gangly red-haired Prefect stood at the end of the hall, storming towards Kevin menacingly. "How DARE you even THREATEN to use magic in Hogwarts without permission-my god, at another student, nonetheless!"
Kevin was about to offer up the best excuse he could think of when the Prefect suddenly slowed down and spoke. "Oh. Draco Malfoy. I see." He cleared his throat. "Fifteen points from Ravenclaw for a disgusting breach of Hogwarts rules. And." He turned to Malfoy. "Ten from Slytherin, for provoking a fight."
Draco was livid, but another of the Slytherins whispered something to him that seemed to calm him down. Without saying another word, he turned and left.
The Prefect-'Percy' from his badge-turned to Kevin with a frown. "I'll have to talk to the head of your house about this, young."
"Rashall."
".Rashall."
"I'm sorry, Prefect," Kevin said stiffly. It was the best he could manage.
Because of the holdup, Kevin wasn't early for breakfast, he was just on time. He seated himself between Krystina and Lyra's usual seats, but Lyra wasn't there.
"Where is Lyra?" He muttered to Krysten.
"A few seats down. She traded with Stewart's normal place. not sure where he is."
"I wanted to apologize to her."
"Good!" Krysten turned her head over to him with a frown. "You really hurt her feelings."
"I don't know how. I just told her to."
-Come on, Kevin, snap out of it,- he told himself.
"I mean, I'll apologize to her when I see her next. I really didn't mean to be rude. Wait-what did she tell you?"
Krysten finished chewing a bite of porridge, and then paused before answering. "She said she was looking into that 'child of shadow' business, and you. told her not to bother. Rather rudely."
"I'm sorry," He said again. "To you and her. I am. But I really don't want you bothering. I'm sure I have it all sorted out."
Krysten didn't look convinced, but was tactful enough not to pursue the subject at the breakfast table.
As it happened, Kevin didn't even see Lyra again until much later that day, in the common room. Gavin Kellar, a sixth year, was reciting some kind of humorous monologue, and Lyra was in the group who had pulled up chairs to listen. After a punch line had passed, Kevin tapped her on the shoulder.
"Hey, Lyra. Could you talk?"
"Sure." If she was acting any differently, he certainly couldn't notice. So far, so good.
Kevin spoke up after they had moved over to the opposite corner of the room. "Lyra, I'm sorry I was rude last night. And. er." -What else should I say?- He was suddenly wondering to himself. -I hope that's enough.-
"Thank you," She replied sincerely. "I'll stay out of your business if you want, Kev." -'Kev'? Where in the world did that come from? Girls were so odd sometimes- "But please, ask me and Krysten if you ever need anything, 'kay?"
"Thanks. And I will." He smiled at her and moved off to his dormitory to think. He hadn't really settled what he had wanted to today yet. He hadn't screwed up the courage to talk to Dumbledore-he kept wondering if it would be wise. Dumbledore was supposed to be his protector here, of course, and yet.
He had to. He really had to. He would now.
"Prof. McGonagall? I was hoping to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore."
"He's talking to a few of the teachers right now, Rashall." McGonagall responded, continuing to shuffle through her papers.
"But it's. important."
"Oh. Oh, of course-yes, Dumbledore said you could see him if you really had to. Come along."
"Thank you very much, Professor," Kevin replied sincerely. "I do think it is important."
McGonagall led him along several twisting corridors until he finally arrived at a stone statue set in the wall, tall and imposing. Kevin was still marveling at its expert craftsmanship when it moved away to reveal a stairway-McGonagall had said some kind of password.
"Up you go, Rashall. Just knock on the door up there."
Kevin jogged up the steep stone spiral staircase nervously, stopping a few steps away from a door. He could hear voices talking inside. Hoping he wasn't interrupting anything, he knocked on the door.
The voices inside paused, and Dumbledore's voice called out, "You may enter."
Kevin opened the door. He was looking into a circular, tall stone room, with a fire crackling in the fireplace and pictures of former headmasters adorning the walls. Dumbledore sat at a desk, talking to Prof. Snape. Both of them were looking straight at him.
"Ah, Rashall. I've been wondering when you'd come talk to me," Dumbledore said kindly. "Severus. tell her not to worry."
Snape nodded to Dumbledore and hurried out without a word, shutting the door behind him. Kevin was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Sit." Dumbledore gestured to a comfortable looking chair by the fire. Kevin walked over and sat in it, his head down. His thoughts were racing. How to begin?
"So, Kevin-may I address you so?-ah, thank you. Kevin, I hope you understand that I have not had you come to my office merely out of sympathy."
"Sir?" Kevin asked, confused. "I don't follow.
"I didn't want to make you worry more then you had to your first days here. You have nothing to worry about here at Hogwarts-it is a fresh start for you."
-So, he really doesn't know. I wonder if.-
"However, I do have something that might help you. If you are having any troubling. dreams. this may help." He handed Kevin a small blue bottle. "Three drops drunk with water before bed will keep away any kind of dreams at all. You'll just have restful sleep. You might want to use it for a while."
Kevin was surprised, to say the least. Did Dumbledore know? How much, if so? "Er. thank you, Sir. This will be a great help."
"Not at all! If you ever need more, just ask Madam Pomfrey to refill it. She'll know what you need. There was also one other thing. If you have any. memories. you might be better off without, I might have a solution."
Kevin's eyes shot up from the bottle he was holding. -A solution? Forever? No, it's too good to be true.-
"A. solution, yes. A liquid substance, a very peculiar. It can absorb your memories, if you let it-but you have to be very careful using it. And very sparing."
"Why?" Kevin laughed. "I don't see-"
"And neither," Dumbledore replied grimly, "Did so many before you, thinking they could simply drop everything they did not want to know any more into the magical water. It is only to be used by the wise."
Kevin sighed, and leaned back. "If I could, Headmaster, I would wash away all my memories-all of them. Just start new, like you said." He saw old scenes in front of his eyes once more. and shook them away. "I don't have any." Feeling tears grow in his eyes, Kevin cleared his throat and sat up. "I'd best be going now, Headmaster."
Dumbledore, who had been watching Kevin quietly, nodded. "If you wish, Kevin. Remember, you can ask me about anything you want." His voice was quiet and soothing, but Kevin didn't even hear it. He was stumbling out the door, down the stairway. running down the passages back to his common room.
Right outside of the tapestry, Kevin slowed down. He had to calm down, he'd make a fool of himself.
Well, altogether, that had gone well. He didn't know there was a brew to remedy dreams, but it seemed there was after all. He breathed a sigh of relief.
-Good luck haunting me now.-
Smiling, he uttered the password and walked past the tapestry into the common room.
A/Ns:
Eternal thanks to my first (and second) reviewer, jinglefairy! I'm glad you like how the story is going. feel free to be ~critical~ because that's really what it's all about. Please comment on flaws you notice, thank you!
I'm sorry about the crazy formatting problems. I'm going to try outlining thoughts with -s, and just not use italics in normal conversation. I'll go back and 'repair' the earlier story very soon, but right now I want to tie up at least a couple of loose ends, so the story doesn't sound so incredibly crazy.
Another problem I realized was that Word is replacing all my ...s with a symbol that looks similar, but ff.net doesn't read, resulting in them being replaced by periods. Very bad. I'll try and fix this too, when I go over and fix the formatting problems.
~~Chapter Six: Dreamy~~
Kevin didn't have time to feel bad for how rude he was to Lyra earlier. The moment he closed his dormitory door behind him, he staggered over to his bed and collapsed onto it. He didn't know what was happened-the only thing he was sure of was that he had felt that way before.
Before.
No thoughts. Just before.
Trying to keep his mind from wandering, Kevin made himself go to sleep.
No other dreams haunted him the rest of the night.
The first glimmers of sunlight through the dormitory window woke Kevin early in the morning. He felt, for the first time in a long time, very well rested.
-Morning. What happened? Where...- A glance at the scabbing wound on his left arm brought his memories back all at once. With a sigh, he lay back against the pillows again.
There were too many puzzles here for him to figure out. He needed help. But whose? Certainly not his fellow first-years. he wasn't going to get any help on this from an eleven year old. A teacher. no, he couldn't trust them yet. That was his mistake before.
He saw only one choice. Whether or not he gave away everything, it seemed the only sensible thing to do. He had to talk to Dumbledore-and today, before he slept again.
Kevin dressed slowly, trying to think of what he'd say. He could walk over to Dumbledore after breakfast and ask him if he could talk. Dumbledore would surely know what he meant. He would first tell him about. what? Did he want to betray Krysten's secret, and tell Dumbledore about the centaurs? What if he told her not to see them again?
-This is more important then the feelings of a single girl,- he snapped to himself. -Still. I could begin on a different tack; no point in endangering her secret first thing.-
Perhaps he could say he was still having dreams. Vivid ones. He could tell Dumbledore about himself. the him he had seen in his dreams.
-And he'd think you're insane.-
Kevin sighed. What could he do? Show Dumbledore the cut on his arm? What else would he give away? None of it made sense. He had heard good things about the Headmaster, but he didn't buy for one second that he would believe a thirteen-year-old boy with an odd scar and some crazy stories. Especially one who had been through something that could quite possibly provoke insanity.
-Is it crazy to live in the past?- A part of him way back in his head asked. -If the past is preferable to the present, why not live in it instead? You miss them, don't you. chess with Archibald, scheming out another trick with him and Rauol. and just talking to Julianne. Looking in her eyes.-
"SHUT UP!" Kevin roared, pounding his fist against a wall. Students all around poked their heads out of their bed curtains, wondering why he had yelled. Kevin ignored them and walked downstairs. But it had worked-the voice was gone.
Along the way to the Great Hall, he encountered a group of Slytherins he had heard about-Draco Malfoy and his clique, Crabbe, Goyle, and a few other Slytherins, included a girl taller then Kevin himself.
"Don't remember seeing your face around here," Malfoy drawled. "You must be one of the first years." He walked forward slowly and held out his hand. "If you're smart, you'll make friends with the most important people around here-namely, us Slytherins. Interested?"
"I -know- I haven't seen your mug before," Kevin snapped back, "Because you don't have the black eye I would have given you yet."
Draco drew his hand back with a look of disgust, and his two thugs Crabbe and Goyle stepped forward, attempting to look menacing. "You'll regret that, fool." Draco said coldly, and spun on his heel, walking away.
Back at Ashallan, Kevin hadn't really been a troublemaker. He'd have played a few pranks on the teachers with his friends every now and then, but it was all in good fun, of course. However, he despised arrogant purebloods like Malfoy. They deserved just what he liked giving them.
"Wait a second," Kevin called after Malfoy. The blond-haired boy stopped, turned, and walked a few steps back, sneering at Kevin.
"What now?"
"I don't remember giving you that black eye I promised yet."
"Are you-"
Unfortunately for Draco Malfoy, he never got to finish that sentence. Kevin's right fist swung forward and caught him in the jaw, sending him reeling a few steps back in shock and pain.
Crabbe and Goyle jumped forward, glad to have an excuse to hit somebody. Kevin dodged a clumsy punch from Crabbe, pulling out his wand, and jumped a few steps back.
"WHAT IS THIS?" Guiltily, Kevin dropped his wand and turned around. A thin, gangly red-haired Prefect stood at the end of the hall, storming towards Kevin menacingly. "How DARE you even THREATEN to use magic in Hogwarts without permission-my god, at another student, nonetheless!"
Kevin was about to offer up the best excuse he could think of when the Prefect suddenly slowed down and spoke. "Oh. Draco Malfoy. I see." He cleared his throat. "Fifteen points from Ravenclaw for a disgusting breach of Hogwarts rules. And." He turned to Malfoy. "Ten from Slytherin, for provoking a fight."
Draco was livid, but another of the Slytherins whispered something to him that seemed to calm him down. Without saying another word, he turned and left.
The Prefect-'Percy' from his badge-turned to Kevin with a frown. "I'll have to talk to the head of your house about this, young."
"Rashall."
".Rashall."
"I'm sorry, Prefect," Kevin said stiffly. It was the best he could manage.
Because of the holdup, Kevin wasn't early for breakfast, he was just on time. He seated himself between Krystina and Lyra's usual seats, but Lyra wasn't there.
"Where is Lyra?" He muttered to Krysten.
"A few seats down. She traded with Stewart's normal place. not sure where he is."
"I wanted to apologize to her."
"Good!" Krysten turned her head over to him with a frown. "You really hurt her feelings."
"I don't know how. I just told her to."
-Come on, Kevin, snap out of it,- he told himself.
"I mean, I'll apologize to her when I see her next. I really didn't mean to be rude. Wait-what did she tell you?"
Krysten finished chewing a bite of porridge, and then paused before answering. "She said she was looking into that 'child of shadow' business, and you. told her not to bother. Rather rudely."
"I'm sorry," He said again. "To you and her. I am. But I really don't want you bothering. I'm sure I have it all sorted out."
Krysten didn't look convinced, but was tactful enough not to pursue the subject at the breakfast table.
As it happened, Kevin didn't even see Lyra again until much later that day, in the common room. Gavin Kellar, a sixth year, was reciting some kind of humorous monologue, and Lyra was in the group who had pulled up chairs to listen. After a punch line had passed, Kevin tapped her on the shoulder.
"Hey, Lyra. Could you talk?"
"Sure." If she was acting any differently, he certainly couldn't notice. So far, so good.
Kevin spoke up after they had moved over to the opposite corner of the room. "Lyra, I'm sorry I was rude last night. And. er." -What else should I say?- He was suddenly wondering to himself. -I hope that's enough.-
"Thank you," She replied sincerely. "I'll stay out of your business if you want, Kev." -'Kev'? Where in the world did that come from? Girls were so odd sometimes- "But please, ask me and Krysten if you ever need anything, 'kay?"
"Thanks. And I will." He smiled at her and moved off to his dormitory to think. He hadn't really settled what he had wanted to today yet. He hadn't screwed up the courage to talk to Dumbledore-he kept wondering if it would be wise. Dumbledore was supposed to be his protector here, of course, and yet.
He had to. He really had to. He would now.
"Prof. McGonagall? I was hoping to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore."
"He's talking to a few of the teachers right now, Rashall." McGonagall responded, continuing to shuffle through her papers.
"But it's. important."
"Oh. Oh, of course-yes, Dumbledore said you could see him if you really had to. Come along."
"Thank you very much, Professor," Kevin replied sincerely. "I do think it is important."
McGonagall led him along several twisting corridors until he finally arrived at a stone statue set in the wall, tall and imposing. Kevin was still marveling at its expert craftsmanship when it moved away to reveal a stairway-McGonagall had said some kind of password.
"Up you go, Rashall. Just knock on the door up there."
Kevin jogged up the steep stone spiral staircase nervously, stopping a few steps away from a door. He could hear voices talking inside. Hoping he wasn't interrupting anything, he knocked on the door.
The voices inside paused, and Dumbledore's voice called out, "You may enter."
Kevin opened the door. He was looking into a circular, tall stone room, with a fire crackling in the fireplace and pictures of former headmasters adorning the walls. Dumbledore sat at a desk, talking to Prof. Snape. Both of them were looking straight at him.
"Ah, Rashall. I've been wondering when you'd come talk to me," Dumbledore said kindly. "Severus. tell her not to worry."
Snape nodded to Dumbledore and hurried out without a word, shutting the door behind him. Kevin was left standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Sit." Dumbledore gestured to a comfortable looking chair by the fire. Kevin walked over and sat in it, his head down. His thoughts were racing. How to begin?
"So, Kevin-may I address you so?-ah, thank you. Kevin, I hope you understand that I have not had you come to my office merely out of sympathy."
"Sir?" Kevin asked, confused. "I don't follow.
"I didn't want to make you worry more then you had to your first days here. You have nothing to worry about here at Hogwarts-it is a fresh start for you."
-So, he really doesn't know. I wonder if.-
"However, I do have something that might help you. If you are having any troubling. dreams. this may help." He handed Kevin a small blue bottle. "Three drops drunk with water before bed will keep away any kind of dreams at all. You'll just have restful sleep. You might want to use it for a while."
Kevin was surprised, to say the least. Did Dumbledore know? How much, if so? "Er. thank you, Sir. This will be a great help."
"Not at all! If you ever need more, just ask Madam Pomfrey to refill it. She'll know what you need. There was also one other thing. If you have any. memories. you might be better off without, I might have a solution."
Kevin's eyes shot up from the bottle he was holding. -A solution? Forever? No, it's too good to be true.-
"A. solution, yes. A liquid substance, a very peculiar. It can absorb your memories, if you let it-but you have to be very careful using it. And very sparing."
"Why?" Kevin laughed. "I don't see-"
"And neither," Dumbledore replied grimly, "Did so many before you, thinking they could simply drop everything they did not want to know any more into the magical water. It is only to be used by the wise."
Kevin sighed, and leaned back. "If I could, Headmaster, I would wash away all my memories-all of them. Just start new, like you said." He saw old scenes in front of his eyes once more. and shook them away. "I don't have any." Feeling tears grow in his eyes, Kevin cleared his throat and sat up. "I'd best be going now, Headmaster."
Dumbledore, who had been watching Kevin quietly, nodded. "If you wish, Kevin. Remember, you can ask me about anything you want." His voice was quiet and soothing, but Kevin didn't even hear it. He was stumbling out the door, down the stairway. running down the passages back to his common room.
Right outside of the tapestry, Kevin slowed down. He had to calm down, he'd make a fool of himself.
Well, altogether, that had gone well. He didn't know there was a brew to remedy dreams, but it seemed there was after all. He breathed a sigh of relief.
-Good luck haunting me now.-
Smiling, he uttered the password and walked past the tapestry into the common room.
A/Ns:
Eternal thanks to my first (and second) reviewer, jinglefairy! I'm glad you like how the story is going. feel free to be ~critical~ because that's really what it's all about. Please comment on flaws you notice, thank you!
I'm sorry about the crazy formatting problems. I'm going to try outlining thoughts with -s, and just not use italics in normal conversation. I'll go back and 'repair' the earlier story very soon, but right now I want to tie up at least a couple of loose ends, so the story doesn't sound so incredibly crazy.
Another problem I realized was that Word is replacing all my ...s with a symbol that looks similar, but ff.net doesn't read, resulting in them being replaced by periods. Very bad. I'll try and fix this too, when I go over and fix the formatting problems.