Disclaimer: I can't remember exactly what characters I do own and
which I don't, so I'll say this: All copyrighted, trademarked or otherwise
owned property is property of it's respective owner and no ownership is
implied on the author's part. Enjoy!
~~Chapter Ten: Meeting~~
Evelyn arrived a bit late for the meeting in the underhalls of the Slytherin common room. Vesk had already almost started his speech, and looked up in surprise and she entered.
Only recently had Evelyn been accepted into these meetings. After Felar McShaln had been demoted, Gary had chosen her as his Second, and she had chosen Sethin has her Third. Of course, being the Second of the Seventh Circle group of the First Faction meant she had absolutely no influence on the orders and information that was sent from Hogwarts out to other groups around the world. Gary himself was hardly ever listened to, although Evelyn believed him to be the strongest personality of the group. If that fool Vesk would only be punished for his mistakes already...
Evelyn sat down beside Gary at the west side of the circular table, silently handing him a single late report and keeping lesser important notes to herself, to shuffle through (if only to keep up a pretence of having a good reason to be around) as the meeting took place.
Vesk cleared his throat a final time. "Ladies and gentlemen of the First Faction, I am pleased to welcome you to our seven hundred and eightieth weekly meeting."
There was scattered applause. Evelyn vaguely remembered her time back in the Second Faction. There had been more trust and friendship there; here, in the First, competition for influence consisted of lies and treachery; it was so thick, you could almost breath it. And she felt so out of place-- the youngest member in both the First and Second factions by two years. And, despite what she had been told, she had only gotten in because of her heritage. What a perfect recipe for disaster.
Vesk continued. "First and foremost on our news this week, of course, is the arrival of the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students. We know for a fact that at least two direct representatives of Durmstrang's--" He coughed- - "'High Power'. If any of you happen to encounter either of these delegates, I am sure you know how to behave, yes?"
Scattered affirmative sounds from around the table.
"Good. Now, approximately half the Durmstrang students will be... of our order... but that is no reason to assume all of them are. Keep our activities as secret as always."
Scattered affirmative sounds from around the table.
"Good. As for the Beauxbatons..." Vesk grimaced visibly.
-What an ass,- Evelyn thought to herself. -He's setting himself up for the fall. I just wish he'd hurry it up a bit.-
"...we don't know of a single loyal in their group."
Scattered surprised sounds from around the table.
"But don't be overly unfriendly." A short pause. "Now, as for other important matters, I have received a report that a first year Hufflepuff complained about seeing a Slytherin beating another student against a wall." There was a long, tedious pause-- everyone knew where to look, but nobody spoke.
"Draco Malfoy, can you speak for your two Seconds?"
-Malfoy has a strong personality, all right. He would be a true leader. But a leader for the wrong cause, in the end. He's... evil.-
Malfoy cleared his throat and spoke. "I can not, will not, and would not in any circumstance say that any one word could describe Crabbe and Goyle as well as 'stupid'. I'm sure you have all noticed they are rarely preset at these meetings. Rest assured, friends, they will be punished." He looked slowly from one end of the table to the other, his lips turned up into a charming... charming, and so dark... smile.
Vesk cleared his throat and drew attention back to himself. "Keep in mind that you are responsible for their mistakes, and this will not go unnoticed." He and Malfoy stared at each other, faces calm but eyes vicious, for a split second. Then Vesk broke away and continued.
"I'd like to also note that, as always, even rumors-- no matter how far- fetched--are to be recorded completely and put in your reports."
That was all. There was a few seconds of silence as the attendees waited for Vesk to continue, but he didn't go on. The head of the First Circle-- Aven Rahnall-- stood, walked over to Vesk, and handed him a few pieces of paper clipped together. As he sat, the head of the Second Circle stood, and handed in his reports.
It went down the line, up to the Seventh Circle. Gary moved over to Vesk and gave him a single document; a compilation of the information he had received from Evelyn and his own personal contacts over the week, the ones he deemed important enough to go to the head of Faction. Just as Vesk would compile all the information from his Circles, and give the important information to the Serpent Robe-- their great leader at Hogwarts, the one who decided exactly what went out of the school... directly to another, even higher power.
Or he would, if the higher power was here. But the Dark Lord had fallen, and not returned.
Gary and Evelyn met a few hours later in the Slytherin common room. It was almost midnight and very few were out of bed; their talk went unnoticed.
Evelyn was anxious about something, Gary could tell that instantly. The large sixth-year boy had been a good friend to her since the day she arrived. He had explained how things worked around the Slytherin house-- the laws of survival.
Laws she still hated to this day.
"What's worrying you, Ev?"
Evelyn shivered, despite the fire roaring in the hearth. She didn't answer immediately, but just stared into the flames. Gary knew she was trying to think of what to say, and he didn't rush her, but sat back and watched.
"I... I met someone. He scared me."
Gary blinked several times. "You ran into Draco Malfoy and his gang?"
Evelyn snorted. "No, no. I know where he'll be every day, I avoid him. It was..." She broke off with a sigh. "You'll think I'm an idiot, Gary. It was just a first year."
After a few seconds of silence, Gary answered "Well, I won't know what else to think if you don't explain yourself."
"It was a Ravenclaw. I'd met him once before, and he seemed, well, normal. But... he ran into me in the library. He told me he knew things that could... get me in trouble... knew I was looking for a book. It was nothing, of course. I should have just told him to go pester someone else. He can't land me in any kind of trouble by telling Filch that I was looking for a book after hours, with no evidence."
"But you didn't?"
"No. Like I said, he scared me. I don't know why, it's... stupid."
"Well?"
"Well, I brought... er... he led me to an empty corridor to talk, and I worked up enough nerve to pull the old Queathil-scares-information-out-of- him trick. Stupid of me, someone could have been watching, I didn't even look. I don't know what I was thinking."
"And then it was dark. He just... conjured up darkness out of nowhere, all around us. Scared the shit out of me, really did," She laughed, ignoring Gary's indignant sound at her language. "Anyways, he grabbed Queathil... grabbed him..."
Gary sucked his breath in sharply. Evelyn looked down, not wanting her older friend to see tears of shame and fear in her eyes. She continued.
"Queathil didn't bite him. He just wouldn't. I kept telling him to, and he just said he couldn't. He still doesn't understand it, and neither do I. The boy... he almost dashed him against the wall." Evelyn was fighting hard against tears, now. "And..."
Evelyn leaned forward and cried silently on Gary's shoulder. He patted her back, not saying a word, frowning in thought. After a few minutes, he slid one arm under her knees and picked up her in his arms.
"Gary!" Evelyn laughed through her tears. "What..."
But as quickly as he had picked her up, he set her down by the fire, right next to the brick hearth. He knew she liked laying by the fire like that-- although how he had found out, she couldn't tell-- and she was grateful. He sat behind her, brooding. Evelyn would have been embarrassed, angry, indignant-- if this was anyone but Gary. He was like the older brother, the protector, she had never had.
After a few more minutes, he asked a question. "How did you and Queathil get away?"
"We didn't get away. He let Queathil go... I asked him too, and he did."
Evelyn felt Queathil move from his resting place close to her heart, slipping out of her shirt and slithering over to Gary. She laughed and turner her head, watching the small serpent tease Gary, playing hide-and- seek with him. Queathil's happiness flowed through their mental connection, gladdening her, just as he took the burden of half her sadness.
"And what happened then?" Gary asked. He wasn't as grim now, still trying to catch Queathil in his hands, as the snake dodged aside.
Evelyn waited a bit to answer. Gary stopped, moving over beside her in front of the fire, and Queathil slithered back to Evelyn, nuzzling her hand affectionately. She absent-mindedly stroked his head with her forefinger and she talked.
"We talked a while. I don't know why, but just as he made me scared, he just..." She looked away, feeling herself blushing. "He made me feel happy. I told him things I've only ever told you-- It's like--" She stood up, angry. "It's like I have to feel whatever he's feeling. Like when we're near, there's a bond, almost as strong as the one Queathil and I share."
Gary just leaned back, smiling. Evelyn knew him well enough to know he was thinking other thoughts, behind that amused mask, but she didn't say anything. "Are you sure..." He began. Evelyn raised an eyebrow at him as she held Queathil in her hands, waiting for him to finish. He laughed, looked away at the fire, and ended "Are you sure you just haven't fallen for the poor hapless kid?"
Evelyn laughed, sitting on one of the sofas near the fire. "Very funny, Gary. It's different. Very different. Not a stupid childhood crush, I know what those feel like." She shivered. "When you're away from someone you like, you're supposed to miss them, right? And love to be around them?" She shook her head. "I'm terrified of him right now, Gary. Terrified."
Queathil, as if emphasizing her point, stood up his full length in her hand and hissed loudly, before retreating back down into her hand.
Gary sighed. "Well, I'll always be here, Evelyn. Remember." He patted her on the shoulder and walked up into the boy's dormitories, yawning. Evelyn stayed down by the fire for almost an hour afterward.
A/N:
There you have it, the hardest chapter to write (and probably the worst in result) is finished. I spent several hours on it, and then several more in touch up. Don't get me wrong, I type very fast, and I loved how the scene was in my head, but... well, I don't know.
I suppose it's just hard for me to write from Evelyn's POV. She's a character I understand, but she's very different from me, and in a very bad situation. The writing 'flowed' (I'm sure you guys know what I mean, although my non-writer friends don't), but in reading it I'm beginning to regret trying to get it onto paper.
If anyone has suggestions as to how to make the scene more natural, or perhaps just flames (normally I'll retaliate, but on this chapter I think I deserve them), please do comment.
I'll hurry this author's note up before I change my mind and delete it.
(Warning: Looong part ahead! It's all in reply to Ara-chan's review.)
I just got a review alert email, ~THANK YOU~ Ara-chan, Goddess of the Cup of Insanity!!!! I am much honored to receive such a well thought out review, thank you for taking the type to type it out.
First off, I have just looked back on my writing and find that 'silk handkerchief' looks very clunky too. Ah, my kingdom for a beta reader! Oh well. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll bulldoze it when I 'polish up' the chapters.
Classes... yes, I meant to include more. I'm sorry. This is because that around the Chap. 5-6 area, there was a break in my writing (half a year) and my style and view have changed considerably. I'm going to be going back and 'fixing' all the other chapters, when I feel I've gotten far enough along. But I've learned the hard way that it gets one nowhere to constantly try and perfect work. I do have another excuse, though! I'm writing this from Kevin's POV-- more recently then before chapters 5-6-- and since the raven and the dreams got worse, with memories of his old friends, he's been going around in more of a trance. See, an excuse :-)... well, I didn't say it was a good one, did I?
The very reason I don't like looking up words is because I don't like going overboard. As you have seen, my vocabulary is limited especially in certain areas where I would much rather use different words. Sometimes I use Microsoft Word (I hate myself using it)'s Thesaurus feature to find a better word, but only when I absolutely need to. It's embarrassing and annoying when you look back on writing you previously thought turned out well and realize it's filled with unnecessary 'fancy words', half of which don't exactly mean what you thought they did. I tend to rely on reading to reveal new words to me; I tend to read rather.. hmmm. Well, suffice to say I read a lot. Nevertheless, I will start using the online dictionary more; thank you for pointing that out.
The raven? Now that is something I can safely say I have under total control :-). I'm writing from Kevin's POV, as I mentioned before-- he's trying not to think about it at all. He wants it to go away. I did mean to slip in something somewhere to show it was an unusual wound-- I'll say right here that it's not opening, but it's not really healing either. More to come.
No, Kevin didn't really want to meet Potter. Surprising as this may seem, I think it makes sense-- he's from the U.S.A, so he hears less Potter- news around there, and with recent events he has had a lot less care for such things. And, as all 4 books imply, the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors are not only not on very good terms, but they also hardly ever meet. Then again... well, I'll give it more thought.
I'll try to get more student stuff happening. Thanks for the tip. It does seem a bit... dry, at parts.
As for the Tri-Wizard Tourney... The delegations haven't arrived yet! Sorry for not supplying dates. It's a bit amusing that I got this review right now... well, come chapter eleven you'll see. I really don't understand what you mean about quidditch, considering the important parts were cancelled, and first years can't play, and Kevin isn't at all a fan-- it's really the least interesting thing in the world to him, given the circumstances. Perhaps excepting Prof. Binns. Perhaps I have been leaving it out a bit too much, though... I was just tipped off, because I realized I didn't even have the word included in my spell-checker's custom dictionary. What a shock.
My writing better then yours? That's not fair! I can't compare them, the review is anonymous, so I can't fairly reply that 'no, yours is better'. Because I do think it is. You are a good critic and clearly have writing experience. I'd love to see your work. Thank you very much for the compliments.
's' problem. Hmm. I can't place right now what you mean... perhaps, if you ever write again, you could explain. Of course, I'm sure there is some 's' problem with all the other ones going on, but it might be a personal mistake of mine.
Just in case you mean that I don't say: 'Kevin watched all the wizard's walk around', I am right about that. It is 'wizards' not 'wizard's'. This common mistake (which is painful to read) is growing more and more widespread; it's really quite annoying. Just in case you DID mean that, which you probably didn't :-).
Again, thank you very much for taking to the time to write that review.
~~Chapter Ten: Meeting~~
Evelyn arrived a bit late for the meeting in the underhalls of the Slytherin common room. Vesk had already almost started his speech, and looked up in surprise and she entered.
Only recently had Evelyn been accepted into these meetings. After Felar McShaln had been demoted, Gary had chosen her as his Second, and she had chosen Sethin has her Third. Of course, being the Second of the Seventh Circle group of the First Faction meant she had absolutely no influence on the orders and information that was sent from Hogwarts out to other groups around the world. Gary himself was hardly ever listened to, although Evelyn believed him to be the strongest personality of the group. If that fool Vesk would only be punished for his mistakes already...
Evelyn sat down beside Gary at the west side of the circular table, silently handing him a single late report and keeping lesser important notes to herself, to shuffle through (if only to keep up a pretence of having a good reason to be around) as the meeting took place.
Vesk cleared his throat a final time. "Ladies and gentlemen of the First Faction, I am pleased to welcome you to our seven hundred and eightieth weekly meeting."
There was scattered applause. Evelyn vaguely remembered her time back in the Second Faction. There had been more trust and friendship there; here, in the First, competition for influence consisted of lies and treachery; it was so thick, you could almost breath it. And she felt so out of place-- the youngest member in both the First and Second factions by two years. And, despite what she had been told, she had only gotten in because of her heritage. What a perfect recipe for disaster.
Vesk continued. "First and foremost on our news this week, of course, is the arrival of the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students. We know for a fact that at least two direct representatives of Durmstrang's--" He coughed- - "'High Power'. If any of you happen to encounter either of these delegates, I am sure you know how to behave, yes?"
Scattered affirmative sounds from around the table.
"Good. Now, approximately half the Durmstrang students will be... of our order... but that is no reason to assume all of them are. Keep our activities as secret as always."
Scattered affirmative sounds from around the table.
"Good. As for the Beauxbatons..." Vesk grimaced visibly.
-What an ass,- Evelyn thought to herself. -He's setting himself up for the fall. I just wish he'd hurry it up a bit.-
"...we don't know of a single loyal in their group."
Scattered surprised sounds from around the table.
"But don't be overly unfriendly." A short pause. "Now, as for other important matters, I have received a report that a first year Hufflepuff complained about seeing a Slytherin beating another student against a wall." There was a long, tedious pause-- everyone knew where to look, but nobody spoke.
"Draco Malfoy, can you speak for your two Seconds?"
-Malfoy has a strong personality, all right. He would be a true leader. But a leader for the wrong cause, in the end. He's... evil.-
Malfoy cleared his throat and spoke. "I can not, will not, and would not in any circumstance say that any one word could describe Crabbe and Goyle as well as 'stupid'. I'm sure you have all noticed they are rarely preset at these meetings. Rest assured, friends, they will be punished." He looked slowly from one end of the table to the other, his lips turned up into a charming... charming, and so dark... smile.
Vesk cleared his throat and drew attention back to himself. "Keep in mind that you are responsible for their mistakes, and this will not go unnoticed." He and Malfoy stared at each other, faces calm but eyes vicious, for a split second. Then Vesk broke away and continued.
"I'd like to also note that, as always, even rumors-- no matter how far- fetched--are to be recorded completely and put in your reports."
That was all. There was a few seconds of silence as the attendees waited for Vesk to continue, but he didn't go on. The head of the First Circle-- Aven Rahnall-- stood, walked over to Vesk, and handed him a few pieces of paper clipped together. As he sat, the head of the Second Circle stood, and handed in his reports.
It went down the line, up to the Seventh Circle. Gary moved over to Vesk and gave him a single document; a compilation of the information he had received from Evelyn and his own personal contacts over the week, the ones he deemed important enough to go to the head of Faction. Just as Vesk would compile all the information from his Circles, and give the important information to the Serpent Robe-- their great leader at Hogwarts, the one who decided exactly what went out of the school... directly to another, even higher power.
Or he would, if the higher power was here. But the Dark Lord had fallen, and not returned.
Gary and Evelyn met a few hours later in the Slytherin common room. It was almost midnight and very few were out of bed; their talk went unnoticed.
Evelyn was anxious about something, Gary could tell that instantly. The large sixth-year boy had been a good friend to her since the day she arrived. He had explained how things worked around the Slytherin house-- the laws of survival.
Laws she still hated to this day.
"What's worrying you, Ev?"
Evelyn shivered, despite the fire roaring in the hearth. She didn't answer immediately, but just stared into the flames. Gary knew she was trying to think of what to say, and he didn't rush her, but sat back and watched.
"I... I met someone. He scared me."
Gary blinked several times. "You ran into Draco Malfoy and his gang?"
Evelyn snorted. "No, no. I know where he'll be every day, I avoid him. It was..." She broke off with a sigh. "You'll think I'm an idiot, Gary. It was just a first year."
After a few seconds of silence, Gary answered "Well, I won't know what else to think if you don't explain yourself."
"It was a Ravenclaw. I'd met him once before, and he seemed, well, normal. But... he ran into me in the library. He told me he knew things that could... get me in trouble... knew I was looking for a book. It was nothing, of course. I should have just told him to go pester someone else. He can't land me in any kind of trouble by telling Filch that I was looking for a book after hours, with no evidence."
"But you didn't?"
"No. Like I said, he scared me. I don't know why, it's... stupid."
"Well?"
"Well, I brought... er... he led me to an empty corridor to talk, and I worked up enough nerve to pull the old Queathil-scares-information-out-of- him trick. Stupid of me, someone could have been watching, I didn't even look. I don't know what I was thinking."
"And then it was dark. He just... conjured up darkness out of nowhere, all around us. Scared the shit out of me, really did," She laughed, ignoring Gary's indignant sound at her language. "Anyways, he grabbed Queathil... grabbed him..."
Gary sucked his breath in sharply. Evelyn looked down, not wanting her older friend to see tears of shame and fear in her eyes. She continued.
"Queathil didn't bite him. He just wouldn't. I kept telling him to, and he just said he couldn't. He still doesn't understand it, and neither do I. The boy... he almost dashed him against the wall." Evelyn was fighting hard against tears, now. "And..."
Evelyn leaned forward and cried silently on Gary's shoulder. He patted her back, not saying a word, frowning in thought. After a few minutes, he slid one arm under her knees and picked up her in his arms.
"Gary!" Evelyn laughed through her tears. "What..."
But as quickly as he had picked her up, he set her down by the fire, right next to the brick hearth. He knew she liked laying by the fire like that-- although how he had found out, she couldn't tell-- and she was grateful. He sat behind her, brooding. Evelyn would have been embarrassed, angry, indignant-- if this was anyone but Gary. He was like the older brother, the protector, she had never had.
After a few more minutes, he asked a question. "How did you and Queathil get away?"
"We didn't get away. He let Queathil go... I asked him too, and he did."
Evelyn felt Queathil move from his resting place close to her heart, slipping out of her shirt and slithering over to Gary. She laughed and turner her head, watching the small serpent tease Gary, playing hide-and- seek with him. Queathil's happiness flowed through their mental connection, gladdening her, just as he took the burden of half her sadness.
"And what happened then?" Gary asked. He wasn't as grim now, still trying to catch Queathil in his hands, as the snake dodged aside.
Evelyn waited a bit to answer. Gary stopped, moving over beside her in front of the fire, and Queathil slithered back to Evelyn, nuzzling her hand affectionately. She absent-mindedly stroked his head with her forefinger and she talked.
"We talked a while. I don't know why, but just as he made me scared, he just..." She looked away, feeling herself blushing. "He made me feel happy. I told him things I've only ever told you-- It's like--" She stood up, angry. "It's like I have to feel whatever he's feeling. Like when we're near, there's a bond, almost as strong as the one Queathil and I share."
Gary just leaned back, smiling. Evelyn knew him well enough to know he was thinking other thoughts, behind that amused mask, but she didn't say anything. "Are you sure..." He began. Evelyn raised an eyebrow at him as she held Queathil in her hands, waiting for him to finish. He laughed, looked away at the fire, and ended "Are you sure you just haven't fallen for the poor hapless kid?"
Evelyn laughed, sitting on one of the sofas near the fire. "Very funny, Gary. It's different. Very different. Not a stupid childhood crush, I know what those feel like." She shivered. "When you're away from someone you like, you're supposed to miss them, right? And love to be around them?" She shook her head. "I'm terrified of him right now, Gary. Terrified."
Queathil, as if emphasizing her point, stood up his full length in her hand and hissed loudly, before retreating back down into her hand.
Gary sighed. "Well, I'll always be here, Evelyn. Remember." He patted her on the shoulder and walked up into the boy's dormitories, yawning. Evelyn stayed down by the fire for almost an hour afterward.
A/N:
There you have it, the hardest chapter to write (and probably the worst in result) is finished. I spent several hours on it, and then several more in touch up. Don't get me wrong, I type very fast, and I loved how the scene was in my head, but... well, I don't know.
I suppose it's just hard for me to write from Evelyn's POV. She's a character I understand, but she's very different from me, and in a very bad situation. The writing 'flowed' (I'm sure you guys know what I mean, although my non-writer friends don't), but in reading it I'm beginning to regret trying to get it onto paper.
If anyone has suggestions as to how to make the scene more natural, or perhaps just flames (normally I'll retaliate, but on this chapter I think I deserve them), please do comment.
I'll hurry this author's note up before I change my mind and delete it.
(Warning: Looong part ahead! It's all in reply to Ara-chan's review.)
I just got a review alert email, ~THANK YOU~ Ara-chan, Goddess of the Cup of Insanity!!!! I am much honored to receive such a well thought out review, thank you for taking the type to type it out.
First off, I have just looked back on my writing and find that 'silk handkerchief' looks very clunky too. Ah, my kingdom for a beta reader! Oh well. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll bulldoze it when I 'polish up' the chapters.
Classes... yes, I meant to include more. I'm sorry. This is because that around the Chap. 5-6 area, there was a break in my writing (half a year) and my style and view have changed considerably. I'm going to be going back and 'fixing' all the other chapters, when I feel I've gotten far enough along. But I've learned the hard way that it gets one nowhere to constantly try and perfect work. I do have another excuse, though! I'm writing this from Kevin's POV-- more recently then before chapters 5-6-- and since the raven and the dreams got worse, with memories of his old friends, he's been going around in more of a trance. See, an excuse :-)... well, I didn't say it was a good one, did I?
The very reason I don't like looking up words is because I don't like going overboard. As you have seen, my vocabulary is limited especially in certain areas where I would much rather use different words. Sometimes I use Microsoft Word (I hate myself using it)'s Thesaurus feature to find a better word, but only when I absolutely need to. It's embarrassing and annoying when you look back on writing you previously thought turned out well and realize it's filled with unnecessary 'fancy words', half of which don't exactly mean what you thought they did. I tend to rely on reading to reveal new words to me; I tend to read rather.. hmmm. Well, suffice to say I read a lot. Nevertheless, I will start using the online dictionary more; thank you for pointing that out.
The raven? Now that is something I can safely say I have under total control :-). I'm writing from Kevin's POV, as I mentioned before-- he's trying not to think about it at all. He wants it to go away. I did mean to slip in something somewhere to show it was an unusual wound-- I'll say right here that it's not opening, but it's not really healing either. More to come.
No, Kevin didn't really want to meet Potter. Surprising as this may seem, I think it makes sense-- he's from the U.S.A, so he hears less Potter- news around there, and with recent events he has had a lot less care for such things. And, as all 4 books imply, the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors are not only not on very good terms, but they also hardly ever meet. Then again... well, I'll give it more thought.
I'll try to get more student stuff happening. Thanks for the tip. It does seem a bit... dry, at parts.
As for the Tri-Wizard Tourney... The delegations haven't arrived yet! Sorry for not supplying dates. It's a bit amusing that I got this review right now... well, come chapter eleven you'll see. I really don't understand what you mean about quidditch, considering the important parts were cancelled, and first years can't play, and Kevin isn't at all a fan-- it's really the least interesting thing in the world to him, given the circumstances. Perhaps excepting Prof. Binns. Perhaps I have been leaving it out a bit too much, though... I was just tipped off, because I realized I didn't even have the word included in my spell-checker's custom dictionary. What a shock.
My writing better then yours? That's not fair! I can't compare them, the review is anonymous, so I can't fairly reply that 'no, yours is better'. Because I do think it is. You are a good critic and clearly have writing experience. I'd love to see your work. Thank you very much for the compliments.
's' problem. Hmm. I can't place right now what you mean... perhaps, if you ever write again, you could explain. Of course, I'm sure there is some 's' problem with all the other ones going on, but it might be a personal mistake of mine.
Just in case you mean that I don't say: 'Kevin watched all the wizard's walk around', I am right about that. It is 'wizards' not 'wizard's'. This common mistake (which is painful to read) is growing more and more widespread; it's really quite annoying. Just in case you DID mean that, which you probably didn't :-).
Again, thank you very much for taking to the time to write that review.