Disclaimer: It's all hers! *points at Rowling* Rowling: 'Huh? What? Oh,
yes... IT'S ALL MINE!!! ALL HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS ARE MINE, INCLUDING
SNAPE, DRACO AND LUCIUS!! MWAHAHAHAHA *evil laugh*'
So uhm... yeah o_O"
'Jesus Christ!!!! My monkey has a gun!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!' Snape screamed, running into the Great Hall. Everyone stared at him. 'A GUN DAMMIT!! YOU KNOW, A MUGGLE GUN!! IT MAY ME MADE BY MUGGLES, BUT IT'S FUCKING DEADLY!!' Snape yelled, pointing at the direction he came from.
Dumbledore stood up, the way he did in the first movie, showing no panic or whatever. 'A gun?' He said doubtful, his eyes twinkling.
'It's a badass monkey!!! He tried to kill me!! What are you all looking at!?!!!! I almost got killed by a damn monkey... with a GUN!!' Snape started to freak out. Everyone wondered what he sniffed.
Dumbledore turned up the twinkling-eyes some more. 'A monkey? Did I give my approval to that?' He said, some extra twinkling in his eyes. Some people laughed, knowing that finally the day had come Snape lost his mind.
'Fine!!' Snape spat. 'When the monkey has it's first victim, you'll be begging for my forgiveness!' With this, he ran off again. Everyone stared at each other for a moment, shrugged and got back to their own business.
As the Great Hall was filled with talking and laughter again, Dumbledore sat down, and looked at McGonagall, all the twinkling disappeared.
'Minerva, I'd liked you to find out more about Snape's monkey...' McGonagall nearly choked in her "pumpkinjuice" (A.K.A extra strong rum) 'Ex... excuse me?!!' 'I need to know more about the monkey story...'
Lupin, who came back as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, since Moody was too paranoid to teach, and he's be staying for one year anyway, so enough about Moody, said. 'I think I know more about the monkey stuff.'
Dumbledore looked at him with interest. 'You do, Remus?'
'Er, yeah... Siri- I mean, SOMEONE brought some "magical" fungi, gave them to Snape... and well... he started to tell us he always wanted to have a monkey...' He looked around, rather uncomfortable.
Dumbledore decided to put in some It's-OK-trust-me-twinkling in his eyes. 'I see... did he also say... WHY?'
Lupin gave a small smile. 'Yes, he did. He wanted a monkey because... well... we always used to make fun of him and everything...' He hesitated.
'Well?' Dumbledore asked, slightly annoyed.
'So he didn't really had any friends... He just wanted a friend. That's all.' Lupin had a damn-why-did-I-ever-taunt-him-like-that-look on his face.
McGonagall looked slightly surprised. 'What about Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy was always around him, right?'
Lupin now had a Damn-do-I-have-to-tell-them-the-truth-look. 'Well... he... that... Lucius was... his boyfriend back than...'
Dumbledore, who just took a sip of his "pumpkinjuice" spat it out. A few students looked at him oddly. He quickly gave a smile and some twinkling in his eyes. He looked back at Lupin. 'Boyfriend?? I never knew Severus is gay...'
'Well, it's kind of strange... in the first and second year, he liked girls, in the third and fourth, he liked boys, in the fifth year girls, sixth year boys, seventh year girls. I don't know what he likes now.' He shrugged.
McGonagall noticed a few teachers were trying to figure out what they were saying. 'ANYWAY...' she said loudly to Dumbledore and Lupin, who understand what she was trying to do.
Dumbledore turned up the twinkling eyes again. 'So as I was saying, there was this Muggleshop...'
And now a word from your beloved author:
Moo!!
Translation: Thank you for reading, I hoped you liked it! I'll try and put the next chapter up soon again. Please review!
'Jesus Christ!!!! My monkey has a gun!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!' Snape screamed, running into the Great Hall. Everyone stared at him. 'A GUN DAMMIT!! YOU KNOW, A MUGGLE GUN!! IT MAY ME MADE BY MUGGLES, BUT IT'S FUCKING DEADLY!!' Snape yelled, pointing at the direction he came from.
Dumbledore stood up, the way he did in the first movie, showing no panic or whatever. 'A gun?' He said doubtful, his eyes twinkling.
'It's a badass monkey!!! He tried to kill me!! What are you all looking at!?!!!! I almost got killed by a damn monkey... with a GUN!!' Snape started to freak out. Everyone wondered what he sniffed.
Dumbledore turned up the twinkling-eyes some more. 'A monkey? Did I give my approval to that?' He said, some extra twinkling in his eyes. Some people laughed, knowing that finally the day had come Snape lost his mind.
'Fine!!' Snape spat. 'When the monkey has it's first victim, you'll be begging for my forgiveness!' With this, he ran off again. Everyone stared at each other for a moment, shrugged and got back to their own business.
As the Great Hall was filled with talking and laughter again, Dumbledore sat down, and looked at McGonagall, all the twinkling disappeared.
'Minerva, I'd liked you to find out more about Snape's monkey...' McGonagall nearly choked in her "pumpkinjuice" (A.K.A extra strong rum) 'Ex... excuse me?!!' 'I need to know more about the monkey story...'
Lupin, who came back as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, since Moody was too paranoid to teach, and he's be staying for one year anyway, so enough about Moody, said. 'I think I know more about the monkey stuff.'
Dumbledore looked at him with interest. 'You do, Remus?'
'Er, yeah... Siri- I mean, SOMEONE brought some "magical" fungi, gave them to Snape... and well... he started to tell us he always wanted to have a monkey...' He looked around, rather uncomfortable.
Dumbledore decided to put in some It's-OK-trust-me-twinkling in his eyes. 'I see... did he also say... WHY?'
Lupin gave a small smile. 'Yes, he did. He wanted a monkey because... well... we always used to make fun of him and everything...' He hesitated.
'Well?' Dumbledore asked, slightly annoyed.
'So he didn't really had any friends... He just wanted a friend. That's all.' Lupin had a damn-why-did-I-ever-taunt-him-like-that-look on his face.
McGonagall looked slightly surprised. 'What about Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy was always around him, right?'
Lupin now had a Damn-do-I-have-to-tell-them-the-truth-look. 'Well... he... that... Lucius was... his boyfriend back than...'
Dumbledore, who just took a sip of his "pumpkinjuice" spat it out. A few students looked at him oddly. He quickly gave a smile and some twinkling in his eyes. He looked back at Lupin. 'Boyfriend?? I never knew Severus is gay...'
'Well, it's kind of strange... in the first and second year, he liked girls, in the third and fourth, he liked boys, in the fifth year girls, sixth year boys, seventh year girls. I don't know what he likes now.' He shrugged.
McGonagall noticed a few teachers were trying to figure out what they were saying. 'ANYWAY...' she said loudly to Dumbledore and Lupin, who understand what she was trying to do.
Dumbledore turned up the twinkling eyes again. 'So as I was saying, there was this Muggleshop...'
And now a word from your beloved author:
Moo!!
Translation: Thank you for reading, I hoped you liked it! I'll try and put the next chapter up soon again. Please review!