Author's Note: More of i*luv*snuffles' fic, I make fun of the prediction plot, the silver stag, bitch about FF.N and make a public service announcement. By the way, if anyone asks, this is not an MST. In fact, I don't even know what an MST is. You don't even know what an MST is, and you've never even heard of thistlemeg, anyway. (My first instinct to the news was typical Gryffindork - I've been sorted...still think I'm more of a Hufflepuff, but the hat never lies - write to FF.N and demand justice be served. Then I remembered that this was the real world, and decided to use my inner Slythering - Thank you, Trinity Day, for immortalizing that term in your hilarious Hogwarts Marauders Theater 3K, it really is amazing how many authors do that - and beat the system by sneaking around it.)

Reviewer cameos coming eventually. It really isn't just an evil plot to get you to review. Well, not completely. Oh yes, and I don't own these people, though my beloved alter egos, Woff and i*luv*snuffles, and their fics are all mine. Get your own.



Chapter 2: Lily's Big Secret!

Lily: Gee, I wonder what she's referring to there.

"Lily Flower," Dumbledore answered, his blue eyes twinkling, "You need to learn to get along with James. He really is a lovely boy.

All but James: *snort*
James: When has Dumbledore ever lied?
Lily: Yes, but when has Dumbledore ever called me Lily Flower? Come to think of it, when has anyone ever called me Lily Flower?
Sirius: Actually -
Lily: Without getting beaten up.
Sirius: Ah. Never, then.
James: So this author's portrayal of Dumbledore is about as accurate as their portrayal of Lily?
Remus: I have a feeling it doesn't end there, either.

You know, there is a prediction about a Flower and a Stag that Professor Trelawney made. Does that mean anything to you?"
"Grandpa," Lily answered. "She is an old bat who has never made a real prediction in her life. That's why I quit that class in 3rd year."

Lily: Actually, I was smart enough not to take it in the first place.
Remus: By the way, does anyone else have a bad feeling about where he's going with this prediction?
James: How many stags do we know?

"Yes I know my dear," Dumbledore answered with twinkling eyes. "But this time she went all rigid and didn't even remember making it, so it must be true."

James: Naturally.
Remus: If Trelawney's suffering from seizures, that's no surprise, but why would that make her more reliable?

Lily walked down the hall of Hogwart's thinking about her visit with her grandfather. No one knew that Dumbldore was her grandpa, it was a secret.

Remus: I can't decide if the author's being redundant or if Lily's confiding in someone named Noone.
Lily: With this author's track record, I'd say redundancy and a typo is a pretty safe bet.

She was also thinking about the prediction Dumbledore had talked about. She knew she must be the Flower, but why was he talking about a Stag. And why did he think she would ever like Potter??????

Sirius: I don't know about in this fic, but as I recall it was the sleep talking and "JP+LE Forever" hearts all over your homework that did it for me.
Lily: Sleep talking?
Sirius:*gulp* Uh, hypothetically speaking, of course.
Lily: Is this related to the bra raid incident?
Sirius: Might've been.

All of a sudden, she ran into the very person of her thoughts.
"Hey, look, it's Poison Ivy!" (A/n: I was watching Batman forever, ok?)

Remus: Ah. That explains...nothing.
Lily: *confused* Well, Batman is this Muggle superhero. I have no idea where the Poison Ivy thing came from.
Sirius: I get it. Instead of a flower, you're a poisonous plant! *laughs*
James: Padfoot. You're laughing at an extremely bad fanfiction joke.
Sirius:*immediately shuts up* I think it's starting to get to me.

It was James and Sirius. They had always called her that since first year, because they thought it was a better name for her than Lily. (Get it? Instead of a beautiful flower, she's a poisonous one!)

James: Yes, thanks, Sirius has already pointed that one out.

"Hey, where did your boils go?" James asked her, disapointed more people wouldn't see her and she would be humiliated.
"My grandpa, um, er, I mean, Professor Dumbldore cured them," Lily answered, turning bright red to match her flame colored hair

Lily: It's auburn! Not flame-colored, not red, not orange, auburn!
Everyone else:*don't dare to argue*

and walking away very quickly.
The two boys stared at each other in disbelief.
"Did she just say what I thought she just said?" Sirius asked his friend.
"No way," James answered, shaking his head. "No way she just called Dumbledore Grandpa."
"Padfoot, you probably were hallucinating again, did you eat those candies we were gonna give to Snape?"

Remus; Who exactly is speaking there? It's obviously not Sirius, unless he was talking to himself...
James: ..which shouldn't be ruled out...
Remus: ...but why would they start a new paragraph with new quotation marks if James was still talking?
Lily: Sirius obviously isn't the only one these are getting to.
Woff:*looks up from her letters* Maybe it's the basilisk.
Lily, James, Sirius, & Remus:*blank stares*
Woff: The monster of Slytherin? *off more blank stares* God, when is Binns going to teach you something useful?
Sirius:*reasonably* Well, it's not like we'd be awake to hear it if he did.

A/n:

Lily: What are these "A/n"s, anyway?
All:*look to Sirius*
Sirius: Uh, Annoying nuisance? Another useless interruption? *off stares* So there wasn't an "n" in that one.
Woff: Author's note, actually. Although I think Sirius' first guess was more accurate in this case.

END OF CHAPTER 2!!!!!!!!!!

James: The author's almost as excited as I am.

I hope yall liked it it was a lot of fun to write! Everyone has lots of secrets so its getting very mysterious!

Lily: Actually, we've only come across one secret so far, and I blew that with the first human being I met.
Sirius: Maybe they meant the candies we were going to give Snape? *writes something on his paper*
Remus: I think it's the mysterious speaker at the end of the chapter.

Okay, I won't put the third chapter up until i have at least 20 reviews so plzzzzz review people!!!

James: Hold up. The author's not going to show us the next chapter until we read it twenty more times? And how will they know if we did, anyway?
Sirius: *shrug* Doesn't matter, because actually, the third chapter is up. *begins moving around the mouse* I think I'm starting to get the hang of this thing.
Remus: Sirius...Padfoot...you're not about to click on the next -
Sirius: *clicks on the next chapter*
James and Remus: Nooo!
Sirius: Come on guys, I want to see what those candies do to Snape.
Lily: Yeah, aren't you curious about Dumbledore being my grandfather?
James: No, but I have to say, I do want to find out about that mysterious voice.
Sirius: Well, then, let's get reading!

Chapter 3: Secrets Secrets Are No Fun...Unless You share them with Sirius!

Sirius: *nodding* That's always been my motto
Remus: And more with the secrets theme. Why do I have a bad feeling about some of these upcoming secrets?

Lily rushed into the Common Room and up to her bed. She couldn't believe she had almost let her secret slip to Potter and Sirius.

Lily: I don't understand why I wouldn't want people to know that Professor Dumbledore is my grandfather. He's hardly anything to be ashamed of, is he?

She was just glad that she hadn't said anything about her other grandfather.

Lily: Now, that makes more sense. The last time we allowed Grandpa Jim in public, he took off all his clothes at the cinema. Although I hardly think James and Sirius would know about that.
Sirius: We do now...*rubs hands together with evil smile*
Lily: *calmly* But Marianne Winters doesn't know about Leslie Abbot...yet.
Sirius: *wisely shuts up*

"Hey Lils, you'll never guess who just asked me to Hogsmeade!!!" came a voice.

James: It's back!!

Lily looked up to see her friend Candice Korne.

James: The mysterious voice is...a Halloween confection??
Remus: Not too mysterious after all.
Sirius: Well, maybe this is a different mysterious voice. You never know.
James: *brightening* That's right! There's probably tons of them floating around the castle.

"Who?" she asked.
"Peter Pettigrew!!" Candy answered excitedly.

Sirius: Somebody revive Peter! He's got a date!

Lily rolled her eyes. Candy was such a ditz and they weren't very good friends.

Lily: Completely contradicting her earlier statement.

Only a freak like Candy would actually go out with Peter Pettigrew, who looked like a rat.

Sirius: Maybe we'll just leave Peter there, after all.
Remus: I was under the impression Lily didn't know you three were Animagi...we'd hardly tell your mortal enemy, would we, James?
Lily: Maybe I mean in human form. He does have that nose...*catches herself* that very cute nose, which is why I have no idea what this author is talking about.
James: What about my nose?
Lily: You know what I think of your nose. *whispers in his ear, and James turns red*
Remus: Nauseating as this fic is, I'm going to choose the lesser of two evils and get on with it.

Meanwhile, James and Sirius were going to the Whomping Willow. Peter couldn't come because he fell down three flights of stairs and was in the Hospital Wing for a month.

James: Despite the fact that Madame Echonasia can heal concussions and broken bones in a matter of minutes.
Lily: So much for that Hogsmeade date. I'm starting to think it was Providence that dropped that brick.
Woff: Well, sure, I go by that, too. *nervously, off their glares* Uh, I didn't say anything.

When they got to the Whomping Willow, they decided to transform. James turned into a beautiful silver stag, and Sirius became a big black Grim.

James: Several things here: Why would we tranform in the middle of the wide open Hogwarts grounds, before entering the secret passage? Padfoot might be able to squeeze, but there's no way I'd ever fit. Not that that even matters, because we couldn't have gotten through the branches without Wormtail to press the knot. And lastly, I am not silver.
Remus: James, if you're trying to get inside the author's head - don't. It's not a pleasant experience.
Lily: And hardly a good way to hold on to your sanity.
Woff: He's got a point, though. Silver is the natural color of Patronuses, it does not mean the actual Prongs is silver.
The rest: *blank looks*

Then they entered the secret tunnel and went to go find Remus. Remus was a werewolf and James, Sirius, and peter were Animagi.

Sirius: For those of you just joining us.

No one knew about this, not even Dumbledore.
At least, no one until now........................

Sirius: AHHH! THE DOTS ARE ATTACKING!!!
Woff: Please. That is so old.

...because the boys didn't know that a certain redhead was watching from the Gryffindor window...................

Lily: *drily* Whoever could that be?
Sirius: It's definitely Gerry O'Connell. I always knew that kid was up to something.
Remus: That second year you turned into an aardvark for your "Transfiguration project"?
James: Hey, maybe he's the mysterious voice!
Sirius: Yes! That would explain why he runs away every time we enter the Common Room!
Lily: Because the aardvark incident clearly has nothing to do with it.
Remus: Hey, this is the end of Chapter 3. *skimming ahead* Ugh, another one of those Author's Notes, let's just skip over it altogether.
James: It's a plan. Hey, can I press the magic button this time? *fiddles around with the mouse and miraculously figures out how to move to the next chapter*

They were just about to continue reading when a loud gasp sounded from Woff's corner of the room. "I don't believe it!" she cried. "The bastards!"

"We haven't done anything!" Sirius protested automatically, but Woff shook her head distractedly.

"No, no, not you, I've just had an owl and it seems FanFiction.Net is going to start deleting MSTs in," she checked the calendar, "less than two weeks!"

Luckily for Woff, she was getting used to the sort of blank stares she was getting now.

"Basically, people won't be able to read about your adventures here anymore!" Woff explained, distressed.

There was a slight pause as the abducted characters considered this.

"Does this mean we get to leave?" Sirius asked, sounding as though he was trying not to allow himself to hope. Which was a good thing, as he was promptly shot back down.

"Are you kidding? I still have nearly four hours to torture you, with or without an audience!" Woff continued leafing through her owls. "I'll have to adjust the summary a bit," she was muttering, mostly to herself, "and hopefully Fido and his gang of Hellhounds won't notice...oh, here we go!"

"What is it?" Remus asked, a bit nervously.

"I've found a new location for us!" Woff answered brightly. "Trinity Day, an amazing fellow MSTer, has founded a Yahoo! group for Harry Potter MSTs. And if anyone wants to keep up with this story, as I'm sure they do, they can simply visit this URL: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hpmst/?yguid=427687."

By now, only Remus was even attempting to understand Woff's Muggle mumble jumble. Sirius was back to scribbling on his filched bit of notebook paper, and James and Lily were engaged in a whispered conversation. Suddenly, Woff seemed to realize their lack of productivity.

"Hey!" she barked. "Get back to the fic! I'm not kidnapping you to sit around and do nothing, am I?"

Groaning, the four teenagers turned to face the screen with a mixture of trepidation, amusement, boredom, and disgust. Woff went back to her owls.

And the closet door slowly opened.