Redeeming Spike's Ass
Part Twelve
*Thanks to Kes for doing the beta, and to my sister Talula for some of the jokes.
"Xander."
Buffy frowned, considering this, as she switched into the left lane of Interstate 80. "Six beers. Jonathan."
Dawn shuddered visibly. "A pint of vodka." She reached into the plastic bag at her feet and took out a bottle of Diet Pepsi. "Okay, how about Ben, the morphing half-hell-god doctor?"
"Without the evilness?" Buffy shrugged. "Two mixed drinks. He was cute enough."
There was a rustling noise behind them, followed by a deep, groggy voice. "What the hell are you two going on about?"
Buffy glanced into the rearview mirror, but all she saw was a lumpy blanket stretched out across the back seat. "It's a game. How much you'd have to drink to make out with someone."
Dawn turned around in her seat and smirked at Spike. "So how much did Buffy have to drink to make out with you?"
Spike looked back at her lazily. "My body is the perfect drug."
"Ew," Dawn said. "Go back to sleep."
With an unintelligible grunt, Spike pulled the blanket over his head.
"Your turn," Buffy prompted. p "Oh, right." Dawn turned forward quickly. "How about.Xander's uncle Rory?"
Buffy's face contorted with disgust. "Why do you torture me?"
"Because in 1995 you threw away my Barbie convertible," Dawn replied immediately.
"There was a mouse nesting in it," Buffy explained. "Not just a mouse, Dawn, a mouse and its *nest*. Mom saw it too. We were completely justified. And also, hello, it was seven years ago. Time to move on."
"The memory of that evil will fester in my soul forever," Dawn said. "Speaking of which." She gestured to the back seat and looked to her sister questioningly.
Buffy nodded in agreement with the unspoken remark. "The weirdness just keeps coming, doesn't it?"
"Well, you can look at it like, 'Hey, at least my life's not boring.'" Dawn's eyes shone with the promise of gossip. "So spill. Tell me everything. The PG-13 version, at least."
Buffy shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. "There's not much to tell."
"Not much?" Dawn challenged. "What about the making up? Accusations and forgiveness? Wacky prophesies? Possible human Spike?"
"I told him I love him," Buffy said softly.
Dawn's mouth fell open, and she stared at Buffy for a moment, unsure of what she'd actually heard. "You told him...oh my god." She held her breath for a moment, waiting for Buffy to continue. "And? Then what?"
"And." Buffy let out an embarrassed chuckle. "And then I said I didn't want to talk about it."
"Avoidance much?"
"Mind your own business much?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't." Dawn kicked aside her bag of snacks and retrieved one of their maps from the floor. "Anyway, I think we can get through Illinois by late tonight, stop at a motel for a little while, and then have plenty of time to get to Flint before tomorrow afternoon." She looked up, her face brightening with excitement. "You know what would be cool? Stopping for a real dinner, instead of just fast food and chips in the car."
"You mean like a restaurant?"
Dawn shrugged and returned to the map. "Maybe just a Denny's or something. I'm guessing that by the time the sun sets, we'll be around Des Moines. We could stop there."
"Look at you, all being-with-the-plan girl," Buffy said with a smile.
Dawn sat up proudly in the passenger's seat. "I'm the brains of the operations. You know, since you so obviously can't handle that role."
"Skank," Buffy muttered in response.
The car slowed down as they approached a semi, and Dawn stared out the window at the unvarying landscape. After a moment staring out at an unbroken line of trees, she glanced over her shoulder at the sleeping form in the backseat.
"It's like having a constant air freshener." She turned to her sister. "Did Angel ever smell fruity?"
"I don't think so," Buffy replied. "It was more like.firewood and Drakkar. Of course, evil Angel had an entirely different smell." She shrugged. "You know, an evil smell."
"But he's the same," Dawn said, still looking behind her. "Spike, I mean. Other than the cantaloupe thing. He's not all tormented or anything."
Buffy shook her head. "Still just Spike."
"So why's it different?" Dawn asked, turning around again. "Before it was all big-unhealthy-relationship thing. So what changed?"
"I guess.we did." Buffy smiled weakly as she checked her blind spot to pass the truck. "It was just like, in an instant, we saw each other, and we said thank you, and then.it was all different."
"Wow." Dawn leaned back against the seat. "So that's it then? Love, happiness, and everything's okay." She looked sideways suspiciously. "*Is* everything okay?"
Buffy drummed her fingertips on the steering wheel nervously. "I dunno. I mean, sometimes it's really good. Like when we're in bed together and we're -"
"PG-13 version!" Dawn put her hands to her ears, prepared to block out any unwanted information.
"- *sleeping*," Buffy finished with a pointed look to her sister. "When we're both about to go to sleep, or just waking up, I feel so comfortable. But then sometimes I'm near him and I just.I get nervous. It feels all weird."
"So you love him when you're sleeping?" Dawn asked. "Well, unconscious love is better than nothing."
"Not what I meant."
"I know what you mean," Dawn said, suddenly serious. "You mean that when it's just you and him and nothing else to get in the way, that's when it feels right. But being around other people and other things messes it all up. It's not you, Buffy, or Spike; it's the rest of the world that causes problems."
"Great," Buffy said. "So all I have to do is destroy the world, and then I can have a healthy relationship."
"It would mean we don't have to go to Michigan anymore," Dawn teased.
*
Buffy looked inside the trunk at their bizarre assortment of supplies. There was her duffel bag, Dawn's suitcase, and a black bundle wrapped up with rope that she assumed were Spike's clothes. There was a small cooler, and when she peered inside she noticed that the ice covering the red-filled Poland Spring bottles was almost completely melted; they'd have to buy some more soon. But even more unusual than their exotic beverages were the assorted swords, knives and crossbows that took up the bulk of the space. Suddenly aware of how very different her life was from other peoples', Buffy looked over her shoulder to make sure none of the other travelers had noticed their cargo, retrieved the hairbrush she'd been looking for, and slammed the trunk shut.
Dawn leaned against the side of the car, staring critically at the roadside diner they'd chosen. They'd been unable to locate a Denny's, as she had requested, but the sign on the highway advertised this place with foot-tall letters proclaiming, "Krispy Kreme Donuts Delivered Daily", and Buffy had been unable to resist.
"Did you wake him up?" Buffy asked.
"Tried to. He muttered something about me buggering myself and went back to sleep."
Buffy opened the back door of the car. "Spike. Donuts."
In a moment Spike was standing outside the car, his blanket discarded, running his hand through his hair and blinking at the grimy metal building through eyes still muddled from sleep.
"Come on," Buffy said, already moving towards the entrance. "I want to get out of Illinois before sunrise."
"Donuts," Spike mumbled as he hurried to catch up with them.
*
"And then the guy said, 'You look like an angel who just fell from heaven'. And Anya said, 'If I'm an angel who fell from heaven, that would make me Satan, so don't even mess with me.'" Dawn took a sip of her water. "The Bronze with Anya is so much fun. You should come with one night."
Across the booth, Spike rubbed his eyes and yawned into his coffee. "If the world doesn't end."
"Oh, come on," Dawn said with a chuckle. "Who's gonna get by us? The Baddest Slayer Ever, the Sword-Wielding Key, and the Kick-Ass Cantaloupe Vampire. We're unstoppable."
Spike removed a half pint of vodka from the inside of his jacket and poured some into his cup. "Yeah, we're a killing machine," he said without enthusiasm.
Buffy approached the table with her hair neatly combed and pulled back into a ponytail. "Better?" she asked Dawn. "No more car hair?"
"No more car hair," Dawn said with a nod. She pointed at a small glass on the other side of the table, which was currently being threatened by Spike's elbow as he sighed in exhaustion and leaned closer to the steam rising from his drink. "Got your OJ."
Buffy sat down on the edge of the bench and nudged Dawn further into the booth. "Great, can you hand that to me?"
Dawn attempted a pointed look as she moved the glass closer, but Buffy buried her face in a menu. Dawn had obviously placed the drink there to get her to sit next to Spike. She scanned the selection of deep-fried crap and mentally kicked herself for talking to Dawn about him. Bad enough her life as a Slayer was preordained; she didn't need her orange juice handing her a destiny too.
"I think I should go call Anya," Dawn said suddenly. "See if she has any new info for us." She poked Buffy's shoulder.
Buffy recognized Dawn's motive - getting her and Spike alone - and didn't move from her seat. "We'll both call her, after dinner."
Dawn frowned. "Well, I have to go to the bathroom."
"No you don't," Buffy said without looking up from the menu.
"You can't see into my bladder."
"Yes I can."
"Ew."
"Part of my special slayer powers," Buffy said, scanning the appetizers.
Dawn folded her arms across her chest. "Well, part of my special Key powers is knowing when someone is being a big stupid coward."
"Well, part of my special Slayer powers is knowing when someone isn't keeping a secret."
"Part of my powers is remembering that you never said it was a secret."
"Part of my powers is kicking you in the face."
"Oh will you *shut up*!" Spike shouted, his hand to his head as if he was in pain. "Bloody hell, if I'd known how annoying you two were, I'da let Dru destroy the world back when we had the chance." He took a gulp of the coffee and then withdrew his liquor from his coat again. "What the bloody hell are you even talking about?"
"Nothing," they both said. Buffy flipped a page in the menu so hard that it tore, and Dawn turned to look out the window.
Spike finished off the coffee quickly and then took a shot straight from his bottle.
"You can't drive if you drink all that," Buffy said.
"I can't drive if have to be sober and listen to the two of you yammering on."
Ignoring him, Buffy turned another page of the menu and scowled at the lack of selection.
"I already ordered you a salad," Dawn said. "Told them no dressing and nothing gross like eggs and anchovies."
Buffy sighed happily as she closed the menu. "My hero. You are completely redeemed."
Spike looked up from his near-empty bottle, eyebrows raised. "Oh, is *that* all it takes?"
She smirked at him playfully. "Shoulda checked with Dawn before going on that little quest of yours, huh?"
Spike leaned back against the discolored plastic window that separated them from the next booth and laughed. The sight was so unusual - a vampire, extra-pale from the harsh lighting of a Midwestern diner, eyes seeming small with fatigue, hair disheveled, a slim bottle of cheap vodka in his hand, laughing uncontrollably and loudly enough to cause the other patrons of the restaurant to turn and stare - that the two women across from him couldn't help but start giggling themselves. Buffy felt the stiffness of the long drive melt from her body as she laughed, and she thought that, if the three of them could laugh like this, every obstacle - from the end of the world to the precarious relationship she'd entered into with the man who sat across from her - could be dealt with. It wouldn't be easy, because nothing ever was, but it was possible.
The waitress arrived with a salad, a hamburger for Dawn, and six donuts on a plate, which she set down in front of Spike, immediately cutting short his laughter. He attacked the food with such ferocity that Buffy wouldn't have been surprised if he'd gone into vamp face.
"You're eating *donuts* for dinner?" she asked critically.
"Yeah," Spike said through a mouthful of chocolate glazed. "And you're eating dry salad. So which one of us is abnormal here?"
"Both of you," Dawn said she reached for the bottle of ketchup. "Now shut up already. We need to figure out a battle plan."
Spike washed down his donut with another shot of vodka. "Simple. I get the demons, Slayer gets the humans."
"Actually, definition of a Slayer - " Buffy told him. "The one who gets the demons."
Spike pointed to his forehead. "Chip."
"So? I'm not killing people just because you can't."
Spike rolled his eyes. "You don't have to kill them. Just.knock them unconscious or something while I fight their evil demon overlord."
"What if I want to fight the evil demon overlord?" Buffy whined.
Dawn dropped her half-eaten burger into her plate and groaned loudly. "How have you two ever managed to fight *anything* together?"
Buffy shrugged and turned her attention back to her food. "Mostly we've just fought each other."
Spike nodded. "And a damn good time it's been." He set a half-eaten donut onto his plate and reached across the table.
The moment Buffy felt his hand against hers, she jumped, her knee striking the table, causing a noisy rattling of silverware. She looked up with wide, panicked eyes into his face - where a mixture of dejection and confusion was quickly coloring with anger.
She felt like she should say something, but the words wouldn't come. It was too weird to apologize for the reflexive movement, and she was sure 'I'm sorry you skeeve me out a little,' wouldn't help matters at all. So instead she just stared as his expression hardened, until he got up from the table so brusquely that it overturned his empty cup, and stalked towards the door.
"Buffy?" Dawn said, so softly that it was barely more than a breath. Buffy closed her eyes briefly. It was one thing for her to screw up things with Spike, but the grief in her sister's voice reminded her that this wasn't just another chapter in *Driving Away Your Significant Other: The Biography of Buffy*; Dawn was getting hurt too.
She opened her eyes at a familiar stomping of boots, and looked up to see Spike grab his donuts from the table, unconcerned about the sugar and chocolate that immediately covered his fingers, shove them in his jacket pocket, and then exit the restaurant again.
"I should go after him," Buffy said, standing up. She took a tattered envelope from her pocket and handed it to Dawn. "Can you pay?"
Dawn nodded. "I'll have them wrap up your salad too." She glanced to the door nervously. "He can't be that mad, right?"
"Don't worry about it," Buffy told her. "Get us a dozen Krispy Kremes to go, and we'll be just fine."
She found Spike standing at the railing of the landing in the front of the diner, furiously sucking on a cigarette, and chastised herself for chasing after him when she still had no idea what to say. She settled for an old favorite. "What the hell is wrong with you, Spike?"
He turned to her with his eyes narrowed and a sarcastic smirk, and for a moment Buffy missed the long-ago time when that particular Spike-facial- expression meant 'Let's beat the crap out of each other' and not 'Let's talk about our relationship'.
"Sorry, love, just a bit of confusion it seems," he spat out. "Didn't realize that 'I love you, come save the world with me' translated as 'Don't touch me'. My mistake." He took another hard drag from the cigarette and then flicked it into the parking lot.
Buffy swallowed hard, her throat tightening as she summoned the words. "I do.love you. And I said I didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, when he have bigger problems."
"There's *always* bigger problems," Spike said, glaring at her threateningly. "But if you think I'm going to follow you around like a dog while you run away from me -"
"Dammit, Spike!" she interrupted. "The apocalypse is starting *tomorrow afternoon*. We don't have time for this! And.and I didn't ask for you to follow me around. I didn't ask for anything from you. If you hate me so much, what are you even doing - "
"You dim-witted bitch!" He shouted, his hands clenching into fists. "If I hated you, would I even be here? Do you think I enjoy dealing with your crap?"
"I don't know *what* you want, Spike." Buffy felt her eyes getting wet, and she put her head down and tried to blink back the sudden emotion. "I don't know what else I can do, how to fix this. I don't even understand what's wrong!"
"Shut up!"
She looked up, surprised at the outburst, only to find that Spike was looking shocked as well. They exchanged confused looks. Someone was yelling, and it wasn't either of them. How odd.
"I said shut up already!" They turned in the direction of the sound, and saw the source of it: a man in his thirties standing in the parking lot, bent over a smaller figure. As they watched, he struck it with his closed fist. Buffy took a step forward to see the scene more clearly, and gasped when she saw that the target of the blow was a boy no older than six, huddled on the ground next to a car.
As they continued to watch, the man lifted the child, shook him roughly, and tossed him back on the hard pavement.
She exchanged glances with Spike, and an unspoken plan was quickly agreed to. "Ladies first," he said with a gesture to the ground below.
Buffy jumped over the railing and landed quietly on the ground. She cleared the short distance in a few steps, and smiled innocently when the man noticed her standing beside him.
"Hi there," she said cheerfully. "Wanna see something cool?"
Before he had a chance to react, Buffy's fist connected with his face. He staggered, but didn't fall, not until a kick swept his legs out from under him, and he landed with a thud beside the car.
"Oh my god." A young woman rushed into the scene and reached down to gather the child in her arms. "Baby, are you okay?"
"Mommy," the boy said weakly, burying his face in her shoulder.
"This your car?" Buffy asked her.
She shook her head, and loose strands of her unkempt hair fell over her sad eyes. "My boyfriend's."
Buffy knelt beside the fallen body and took a ring of keys from his jacket pocket. The man groaned and stirred as Buffy handed the keys to the woman.
"Hey," he said, attempting to push himself up into a sitting position.
Buffy silenced him by poking the toe of her shoe in his ribs. "Get out of here," she told the woman.
Her eyes lingered for a moment on the man below them. "But he."
"Get out of here!" Buffy said firmly.
The woman jumped slightly at the outburst, and then hurried to the car door. She hastily strapped her son into the passenger's seat and drove the car out of the parking lot. Buffy looked down at the man, who was now rubbing his jaw and staring angrily at her.
"Lemme do you a favor, buddy," she said. "The next time you feel like smacking someone around, take a little trip to Sunnydale, California, and I'll be glad to take you on. Kay?"
The man sneered at her through a mouthful of blood. "Mind your own business, bitch." He looked down the road, where his car turned a corner and disappeared. "I'm gonna kill that cunt for taking my car."
Buffy put her hands on her hips and shook her head sadly. "Unfortunately, I can't seriously injure humans. It's a weird morality thing. So I guess I can't hurt you anymore." She smiled wickedly. "Spike?"
In an instant he leapt from the landing, game face in place, and brought the heel of his boot down on the man's right kneecap.
There were two simultaneous screams as the man's body pitched in pain and Spike collapsed beside him. Buffy looked up to the landing, where a small crowd from inside the diner was beginning to gather.
"We have to get out of here," she said, reaching down and grabbing Spike's arm as he gripped his head and moaned.
"Holy crap," Dawn said, rushing up beside them, her arms filled with take- out bags.
"Get him up, I'll get the car," Buffy said, and she sprinted towards the DeSoto.
Dawn knelt next to Spike's prone body and put her arm around his back. "Spike? Can you stand up?"
He rubbed his forehead, still grimacing in pain. "Yeah," he said faintly.
Dawn glanced at the man, who was making an odd sound that sounded like he was choking, and she shuddered at the sight of his leg, mangled from the knee down and already beginning to swell. She helped Spike to his feet, struggling under his weight. His face fell into her neck, and she put her hand on his head comfortingly.
"You're gonna be okay, right?" Dawn asked, her voice shaky with worry.
"Just fine, tiny girl," Spike said, his voice muffled.
Dawn hugged him closer. "I'm not tiny."
The car screeched up beside them and Buffy reached over to open the passenger's side door. Dawn helped a semi-conscious Spike into the seat, closed the door behind him, and got into the back.
Buffy looked into the rearview mirror nervously as they drove off. "Never a dull moment, huh?"
"I think I smashed my donuts," Spike said. His eyes still closed, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a handful of sticky crumbs.
"Smashed your *what*?" Dawn stretched so that she could see what Spike was doing. "I don't think you should be saying that in front of - oh. Donuts. It's okay, I bought more."
The promise of Krispy Kreme healed Spike somewhat, and he reached back for the box slowly, his face still looking drawn and weak.
"You know," Buffy said. "My official statement is that I'm horrified at what you did back there."
"Fella's not going to be beating up on anyone anytime soon," he said. "Not going to be walking much either." He took a tentative bite of a plain glazed. "What'd you expect I'd do? Lecture him?"
"I dunno," Buffy said. "Go bumpy-head and freak him out, maybe bat him around a bit. I didn't mean for you to make your own brain explode."
Spike shrugged. "Be okay in an hour." Reinvigorated by the sugar, he finished off the donut quickly. "Besides, you know you wanted to cripple that stupid git, just didn't have the balls for it."
Buffy sighed and tried to focus on the signs that would lead them back to the highway. "Could we not argue about this right now?"
"Of course. Just put it in Buffy-denial-land with everything else."
"Nothing is in Buffy-denial-land," she said, her voice rising.
From the backseat, Dawn groaned loudly. "Does everything have to be an argument? I mean, really. Could you guys just be nice to each other for like, five seconds?" She leaned up in between the seats. "Spike, say something nice to Buffy."
"I have a horrible head injury, you know." Spike said, pointing to his forehead.
"Good, it'll help you be less like yourself," she said firmly. "Now say it, or else I'll tell Buffy what your favorite movie is."
"Huh?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing!" Spike shouted. He winced at the volume of his own voice and put his hand to his head. "Devious little bitch," he muttered.
"Say it," Dawn prompted.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Buffy, um.most of the time I don't want to kill you."
"That'll have to do." Dawn turned to her sister. "Now, Buffy, kiss Spike. But not in a sex way, in a sweet way."
"I'm driving," Buffy argued.
"Pull over."
"Since when are you in charge here?" Buffy asked.
"Since I could tell Spike what you wrote in your journal about him," Dawn said with a devious grin.
Spike's eyes widened. "Well, this sounds deliciously scandalous."
Buffy hit the brakes hard and pulled into the shoulder of the ramp to the highway. With an over exaggerated sigh, she leaned over and quickly kissed Spike on the cheek. "There, that was sweet, right?"
Spike nodded. "And it would've been much more sweet if you hadn't stuck your nose in my eye."
As Buffy put the car into drive and continued up the ramp, Dawn smiled, satisfied, and returned to her seat. "Well, that's a start," she said. "Especially considering the huge mental problems the both of you have."
"She's a demon," Buffy muttered. "It's the only explanation." And she merged onto the highway that would take them to Michigan.
tbc
*Thanks to Kes for doing the beta, and to my sister Talula for some of the jokes.
"Xander."
Buffy frowned, considering this, as she switched into the left lane of Interstate 80. "Six beers. Jonathan."
Dawn shuddered visibly. "A pint of vodka." She reached into the plastic bag at her feet and took out a bottle of Diet Pepsi. "Okay, how about Ben, the morphing half-hell-god doctor?"
"Without the evilness?" Buffy shrugged. "Two mixed drinks. He was cute enough."
There was a rustling noise behind them, followed by a deep, groggy voice. "What the hell are you two going on about?"
Buffy glanced into the rearview mirror, but all she saw was a lumpy blanket stretched out across the back seat. "It's a game. How much you'd have to drink to make out with someone."
Dawn turned around in her seat and smirked at Spike. "So how much did Buffy have to drink to make out with you?"
Spike looked back at her lazily. "My body is the perfect drug."
"Ew," Dawn said. "Go back to sleep."
With an unintelligible grunt, Spike pulled the blanket over his head.
"Your turn," Buffy prompted. p "Oh, right." Dawn turned forward quickly. "How about.Xander's uncle Rory?"
Buffy's face contorted with disgust. "Why do you torture me?"
"Because in 1995 you threw away my Barbie convertible," Dawn replied immediately.
"There was a mouse nesting in it," Buffy explained. "Not just a mouse, Dawn, a mouse and its *nest*. Mom saw it too. We were completely justified. And also, hello, it was seven years ago. Time to move on."
"The memory of that evil will fester in my soul forever," Dawn said. "Speaking of which." She gestured to the back seat and looked to her sister questioningly.
Buffy nodded in agreement with the unspoken remark. "The weirdness just keeps coming, doesn't it?"
"Well, you can look at it like, 'Hey, at least my life's not boring.'" Dawn's eyes shone with the promise of gossip. "So spill. Tell me everything. The PG-13 version, at least."
Buffy shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. "There's not much to tell."
"Not much?" Dawn challenged. "What about the making up? Accusations and forgiveness? Wacky prophesies? Possible human Spike?"
"I told him I love him," Buffy said softly.
Dawn's mouth fell open, and she stared at Buffy for a moment, unsure of what she'd actually heard. "You told him...oh my god." She held her breath for a moment, waiting for Buffy to continue. "And? Then what?"
"And." Buffy let out an embarrassed chuckle. "And then I said I didn't want to talk about it."
"Avoidance much?"
"Mind your own business much?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't." Dawn kicked aside her bag of snacks and retrieved one of their maps from the floor. "Anyway, I think we can get through Illinois by late tonight, stop at a motel for a little while, and then have plenty of time to get to Flint before tomorrow afternoon." She looked up, her face brightening with excitement. "You know what would be cool? Stopping for a real dinner, instead of just fast food and chips in the car."
"You mean like a restaurant?"
Dawn shrugged and returned to the map. "Maybe just a Denny's or something. I'm guessing that by the time the sun sets, we'll be around Des Moines. We could stop there."
"Look at you, all being-with-the-plan girl," Buffy said with a smile.
Dawn sat up proudly in the passenger's seat. "I'm the brains of the operations. You know, since you so obviously can't handle that role."
"Skank," Buffy muttered in response.
The car slowed down as they approached a semi, and Dawn stared out the window at the unvarying landscape. After a moment staring out at an unbroken line of trees, she glanced over her shoulder at the sleeping form in the backseat.
"It's like having a constant air freshener." She turned to her sister. "Did Angel ever smell fruity?"
"I don't think so," Buffy replied. "It was more like.firewood and Drakkar. Of course, evil Angel had an entirely different smell." She shrugged. "You know, an evil smell."
"But he's the same," Dawn said, still looking behind her. "Spike, I mean. Other than the cantaloupe thing. He's not all tormented or anything."
Buffy shook her head. "Still just Spike."
"So why's it different?" Dawn asked, turning around again. "Before it was all big-unhealthy-relationship thing. So what changed?"
"I guess.we did." Buffy smiled weakly as she checked her blind spot to pass the truck. "It was just like, in an instant, we saw each other, and we said thank you, and then.it was all different."
"Wow." Dawn leaned back against the seat. "So that's it then? Love, happiness, and everything's okay." She looked sideways suspiciously. "*Is* everything okay?"
Buffy drummed her fingertips on the steering wheel nervously. "I dunno. I mean, sometimes it's really good. Like when we're in bed together and we're -"
"PG-13 version!" Dawn put her hands to her ears, prepared to block out any unwanted information.
"- *sleeping*," Buffy finished with a pointed look to her sister. "When we're both about to go to sleep, or just waking up, I feel so comfortable. But then sometimes I'm near him and I just.I get nervous. It feels all weird."
"So you love him when you're sleeping?" Dawn asked. "Well, unconscious love is better than nothing."
"Not what I meant."
"I know what you mean," Dawn said, suddenly serious. "You mean that when it's just you and him and nothing else to get in the way, that's when it feels right. But being around other people and other things messes it all up. It's not you, Buffy, or Spike; it's the rest of the world that causes problems."
"Great," Buffy said. "So all I have to do is destroy the world, and then I can have a healthy relationship."
"It would mean we don't have to go to Michigan anymore," Dawn teased.
*
Buffy looked inside the trunk at their bizarre assortment of supplies. There was her duffel bag, Dawn's suitcase, and a black bundle wrapped up with rope that she assumed were Spike's clothes. There was a small cooler, and when she peered inside she noticed that the ice covering the red-filled Poland Spring bottles was almost completely melted; they'd have to buy some more soon. But even more unusual than their exotic beverages were the assorted swords, knives and crossbows that took up the bulk of the space. Suddenly aware of how very different her life was from other peoples', Buffy looked over her shoulder to make sure none of the other travelers had noticed their cargo, retrieved the hairbrush she'd been looking for, and slammed the trunk shut.
Dawn leaned against the side of the car, staring critically at the roadside diner they'd chosen. They'd been unable to locate a Denny's, as she had requested, but the sign on the highway advertised this place with foot-tall letters proclaiming, "Krispy Kreme Donuts Delivered Daily", and Buffy had been unable to resist.
"Did you wake him up?" Buffy asked.
"Tried to. He muttered something about me buggering myself and went back to sleep."
Buffy opened the back door of the car. "Spike. Donuts."
In a moment Spike was standing outside the car, his blanket discarded, running his hand through his hair and blinking at the grimy metal building through eyes still muddled from sleep.
"Come on," Buffy said, already moving towards the entrance. "I want to get out of Illinois before sunrise."
"Donuts," Spike mumbled as he hurried to catch up with them.
*
"And then the guy said, 'You look like an angel who just fell from heaven'. And Anya said, 'If I'm an angel who fell from heaven, that would make me Satan, so don't even mess with me.'" Dawn took a sip of her water. "The Bronze with Anya is so much fun. You should come with one night."
Across the booth, Spike rubbed his eyes and yawned into his coffee. "If the world doesn't end."
"Oh, come on," Dawn said with a chuckle. "Who's gonna get by us? The Baddest Slayer Ever, the Sword-Wielding Key, and the Kick-Ass Cantaloupe Vampire. We're unstoppable."
Spike removed a half pint of vodka from the inside of his jacket and poured some into his cup. "Yeah, we're a killing machine," he said without enthusiasm.
Buffy approached the table with her hair neatly combed and pulled back into a ponytail. "Better?" she asked Dawn. "No more car hair?"
"No more car hair," Dawn said with a nod. She pointed at a small glass on the other side of the table, which was currently being threatened by Spike's elbow as he sighed in exhaustion and leaned closer to the steam rising from his drink. "Got your OJ."
Buffy sat down on the edge of the bench and nudged Dawn further into the booth. "Great, can you hand that to me?"
Dawn attempted a pointed look as she moved the glass closer, but Buffy buried her face in a menu. Dawn had obviously placed the drink there to get her to sit next to Spike. She scanned the selection of deep-fried crap and mentally kicked herself for talking to Dawn about him. Bad enough her life as a Slayer was preordained; she didn't need her orange juice handing her a destiny too.
"I think I should go call Anya," Dawn said suddenly. "See if she has any new info for us." She poked Buffy's shoulder.
Buffy recognized Dawn's motive - getting her and Spike alone - and didn't move from her seat. "We'll both call her, after dinner."
Dawn frowned. "Well, I have to go to the bathroom."
"No you don't," Buffy said without looking up from the menu.
"You can't see into my bladder."
"Yes I can."
"Ew."
"Part of my special slayer powers," Buffy said, scanning the appetizers.
Dawn folded her arms across her chest. "Well, part of my special Key powers is knowing when someone is being a big stupid coward."
"Well, part of my special Slayer powers is knowing when someone isn't keeping a secret."
"Part of my powers is remembering that you never said it was a secret."
"Part of my powers is kicking you in the face."
"Oh will you *shut up*!" Spike shouted, his hand to his head as if he was in pain. "Bloody hell, if I'd known how annoying you two were, I'da let Dru destroy the world back when we had the chance." He took a gulp of the coffee and then withdrew his liquor from his coat again. "What the bloody hell are you even talking about?"
"Nothing," they both said. Buffy flipped a page in the menu so hard that it tore, and Dawn turned to look out the window.
Spike finished off the coffee quickly and then took a shot straight from his bottle.
"You can't drive if you drink all that," Buffy said.
"I can't drive if have to be sober and listen to the two of you yammering on."
Ignoring him, Buffy turned another page of the menu and scowled at the lack of selection.
"I already ordered you a salad," Dawn said. "Told them no dressing and nothing gross like eggs and anchovies."
Buffy sighed happily as she closed the menu. "My hero. You are completely redeemed."
Spike looked up from his near-empty bottle, eyebrows raised. "Oh, is *that* all it takes?"
She smirked at him playfully. "Shoulda checked with Dawn before going on that little quest of yours, huh?"
Spike leaned back against the discolored plastic window that separated them from the next booth and laughed. The sight was so unusual - a vampire, extra-pale from the harsh lighting of a Midwestern diner, eyes seeming small with fatigue, hair disheveled, a slim bottle of cheap vodka in his hand, laughing uncontrollably and loudly enough to cause the other patrons of the restaurant to turn and stare - that the two women across from him couldn't help but start giggling themselves. Buffy felt the stiffness of the long drive melt from her body as she laughed, and she thought that, if the three of them could laugh like this, every obstacle - from the end of the world to the precarious relationship she'd entered into with the man who sat across from her - could be dealt with. It wouldn't be easy, because nothing ever was, but it was possible.
The waitress arrived with a salad, a hamburger for Dawn, and six donuts on a plate, which she set down in front of Spike, immediately cutting short his laughter. He attacked the food with such ferocity that Buffy wouldn't have been surprised if he'd gone into vamp face.
"You're eating *donuts* for dinner?" she asked critically.
"Yeah," Spike said through a mouthful of chocolate glazed. "And you're eating dry salad. So which one of us is abnormal here?"
"Both of you," Dawn said she reached for the bottle of ketchup. "Now shut up already. We need to figure out a battle plan."
Spike washed down his donut with another shot of vodka. "Simple. I get the demons, Slayer gets the humans."
"Actually, definition of a Slayer - " Buffy told him. "The one who gets the demons."
Spike pointed to his forehead. "Chip."
"So? I'm not killing people just because you can't."
Spike rolled his eyes. "You don't have to kill them. Just.knock them unconscious or something while I fight their evil demon overlord."
"What if I want to fight the evil demon overlord?" Buffy whined.
Dawn dropped her half-eaten burger into her plate and groaned loudly. "How have you two ever managed to fight *anything* together?"
Buffy shrugged and turned her attention back to her food. "Mostly we've just fought each other."
Spike nodded. "And a damn good time it's been." He set a half-eaten donut onto his plate and reached across the table.
The moment Buffy felt his hand against hers, she jumped, her knee striking the table, causing a noisy rattling of silverware. She looked up with wide, panicked eyes into his face - where a mixture of dejection and confusion was quickly coloring with anger.
She felt like she should say something, but the words wouldn't come. It was too weird to apologize for the reflexive movement, and she was sure 'I'm sorry you skeeve me out a little,' wouldn't help matters at all. So instead she just stared as his expression hardened, until he got up from the table so brusquely that it overturned his empty cup, and stalked towards the door.
"Buffy?" Dawn said, so softly that it was barely more than a breath. Buffy closed her eyes briefly. It was one thing for her to screw up things with Spike, but the grief in her sister's voice reminded her that this wasn't just another chapter in *Driving Away Your Significant Other: The Biography of Buffy*; Dawn was getting hurt too.
She opened her eyes at a familiar stomping of boots, and looked up to see Spike grab his donuts from the table, unconcerned about the sugar and chocolate that immediately covered his fingers, shove them in his jacket pocket, and then exit the restaurant again.
"I should go after him," Buffy said, standing up. She took a tattered envelope from her pocket and handed it to Dawn. "Can you pay?"
Dawn nodded. "I'll have them wrap up your salad too." She glanced to the door nervously. "He can't be that mad, right?"
"Don't worry about it," Buffy told her. "Get us a dozen Krispy Kremes to go, and we'll be just fine."
She found Spike standing at the railing of the landing in the front of the diner, furiously sucking on a cigarette, and chastised herself for chasing after him when she still had no idea what to say. She settled for an old favorite. "What the hell is wrong with you, Spike?"
He turned to her with his eyes narrowed and a sarcastic smirk, and for a moment Buffy missed the long-ago time when that particular Spike-facial- expression meant 'Let's beat the crap out of each other' and not 'Let's talk about our relationship'.
"Sorry, love, just a bit of confusion it seems," he spat out. "Didn't realize that 'I love you, come save the world with me' translated as 'Don't touch me'. My mistake." He took another hard drag from the cigarette and then flicked it into the parking lot.
Buffy swallowed hard, her throat tightening as she summoned the words. "I do.love you. And I said I didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, when he have bigger problems."
"There's *always* bigger problems," Spike said, glaring at her threateningly. "But if you think I'm going to follow you around like a dog while you run away from me -"
"Dammit, Spike!" she interrupted. "The apocalypse is starting *tomorrow afternoon*. We don't have time for this! And.and I didn't ask for you to follow me around. I didn't ask for anything from you. If you hate me so much, what are you even doing - "
"You dim-witted bitch!" He shouted, his hands clenching into fists. "If I hated you, would I even be here? Do you think I enjoy dealing with your crap?"
"I don't know *what* you want, Spike." Buffy felt her eyes getting wet, and she put her head down and tried to blink back the sudden emotion. "I don't know what else I can do, how to fix this. I don't even understand what's wrong!"
"Shut up!"
She looked up, surprised at the outburst, only to find that Spike was looking shocked as well. They exchanged confused looks. Someone was yelling, and it wasn't either of them. How odd.
"I said shut up already!" They turned in the direction of the sound, and saw the source of it: a man in his thirties standing in the parking lot, bent over a smaller figure. As they watched, he struck it with his closed fist. Buffy took a step forward to see the scene more clearly, and gasped when she saw that the target of the blow was a boy no older than six, huddled on the ground next to a car.
As they continued to watch, the man lifted the child, shook him roughly, and tossed him back on the hard pavement.
She exchanged glances with Spike, and an unspoken plan was quickly agreed to. "Ladies first," he said with a gesture to the ground below.
Buffy jumped over the railing and landed quietly on the ground. She cleared the short distance in a few steps, and smiled innocently when the man noticed her standing beside him.
"Hi there," she said cheerfully. "Wanna see something cool?"
Before he had a chance to react, Buffy's fist connected with his face. He staggered, but didn't fall, not until a kick swept his legs out from under him, and he landed with a thud beside the car.
"Oh my god." A young woman rushed into the scene and reached down to gather the child in her arms. "Baby, are you okay?"
"Mommy," the boy said weakly, burying his face in her shoulder.
"This your car?" Buffy asked her.
She shook her head, and loose strands of her unkempt hair fell over her sad eyes. "My boyfriend's."
Buffy knelt beside the fallen body and took a ring of keys from his jacket pocket. The man groaned and stirred as Buffy handed the keys to the woman.
"Hey," he said, attempting to push himself up into a sitting position.
Buffy silenced him by poking the toe of her shoe in his ribs. "Get out of here," she told the woman.
Her eyes lingered for a moment on the man below them. "But he."
"Get out of here!" Buffy said firmly.
The woman jumped slightly at the outburst, and then hurried to the car door. She hastily strapped her son into the passenger's seat and drove the car out of the parking lot. Buffy looked down at the man, who was now rubbing his jaw and staring angrily at her.
"Lemme do you a favor, buddy," she said. "The next time you feel like smacking someone around, take a little trip to Sunnydale, California, and I'll be glad to take you on. Kay?"
The man sneered at her through a mouthful of blood. "Mind your own business, bitch." He looked down the road, where his car turned a corner and disappeared. "I'm gonna kill that cunt for taking my car."
Buffy put her hands on her hips and shook her head sadly. "Unfortunately, I can't seriously injure humans. It's a weird morality thing. So I guess I can't hurt you anymore." She smiled wickedly. "Spike?"
In an instant he leapt from the landing, game face in place, and brought the heel of his boot down on the man's right kneecap.
There were two simultaneous screams as the man's body pitched in pain and Spike collapsed beside him. Buffy looked up to the landing, where a small crowd from inside the diner was beginning to gather.
"We have to get out of here," she said, reaching down and grabbing Spike's arm as he gripped his head and moaned.
"Holy crap," Dawn said, rushing up beside them, her arms filled with take- out bags.
"Get him up, I'll get the car," Buffy said, and she sprinted towards the DeSoto.
Dawn knelt next to Spike's prone body and put her arm around his back. "Spike? Can you stand up?"
He rubbed his forehead, still grimacing in pain. "Yeah," he said faintly.
Dawn glanced at the man, who was making an odd sound that sounded like he was choking, and she shuddered at the sight of his leg, mangled from the knee down and already beginning to swell. She helped Spike to his feet, struggling under his weight. His face fell into her neck, and she put her hand on his head comfortingly.
"You're gonna be okay, right?" Dawn asked, her voice shaky with worry.
"Just fine, tiny girl," Spike said, his voice muffled.
Dawn hugged him closer. "I'm not tiny."
The car screeched up beside them and Buffy reached over to open the passenger's side door. Dawn helped a semi-conscious Spike into the seat, closed the door behind him, and got into the back.
Buffy looked into the rearview mirror nervously as they drove off. "Never a dull moment, huh?"
"I think I smashed my donuts," Spike said. His eyes still closed, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a handful of sticky crumbs.
"Smashed your *what*?" Dawn stretched so that she could see what Spike was doing. "I don't think you should be saying that in front of - oh. Donuts. It's okay, I bought more."
The promise of Krispy Kreme healed Spike somewhat, and he reached back for the box slowly, his face still looking drawn and weak.
"You know," Buffy said. "My official statement is that I'm horrified at what you did back there."
"Fella's not going to be beating up on anyone anytime soon," he said. "Not going to be walking much either." He took a tentative bite of a plain glazed. "What'd you expect I'd do? Lecture him?"
"I dunno," Buffy said. "Go bumpy-head and freak him out, maybe bat him around a bit. I didn't mean for you to make your own brain explode."
Spike shrugged. "Be okay in an hour." Reinvigorated by the sugar, he finished off the donut quickly. "Besides, you know you wanted to cripple that stupid git, just didn't have the balls for it."
Buffy sighed and tried to focus on the signs that would lead them back to the highway. "Could we not argue about this right now?"
"Of course. Just put it in Buffy-denial-land with everything else."
"Nothing is in Buffy-denial-land," she said, her voice rising.
From the backseat, Dawn groaned loudly. "Does everything have to be an argument? I mean, really. Could you guys just be nice to each other for like, five seconds?" She leaned up in between the seats. "Spike, say something nice to Buffy."
"I have a horrible head injury, you know." Spike said, pointing to his forehead.
"Good, it'll help you be less like yourself," she said firmly. "Now say it, or else I'll tell Buffy what your favorite movie is."
"Huh?" Buffy asked.
"Nothing!" Spike shouted. He winced at the volume of his own voice and put his hand to his head. "Devious little bitch," he muttered.
"Say it," Dawn prompted.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Buffy, um.most of the time I don't want to kill you."
"That'll have to do." Dawn turned to her sister. "Now, Buffy, kiss Spike. But not in a sex way, in a sweet way."
"I'm driving," Buffy argued.
"Pull over."
"Since when are you in charge here?" Buffy asked.
"Since I could tell Spike what you wrote in your journal about him," Dawn said with a devious grin.
Spike's eyes widened. "Well, this sounds deliciously scandalous."
Buffy hit the brakes hard and pulled into the shoulder of the ramp to the highway. With an over exaggerated sigh, she leaned over and quickly kissed Spike on the cheek. "There, that was sweet, right?"
Spike nodded. "And it would've been much more sweet if you hadn't stuck your nose in my eye."
As Buffy put the car into drive and continued up the ramp, Dawn smiled, satisfied, and returned to her seat. "Well, that's a start," she said. "Especially considering the huge mental problems the both of you have."
"She's a demon," Buffy muttered. "It's the only explanation." And she merged onto the highway that would take them to Michigan.
tbc