Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I claim to own any of the concepts or characters portrayed herein.  *nods*


Comments: Another unfortunate event in the love life of Ken and Ran. It isn't quite as amusing as I wanted it to be and the style is a little different than my usual… I think. It's kinda hard to tell when it's me reading my own stuff. Funny how the ones written from Ran's POV are usually sex-centric…. My bad. But at least this time the bad thing happens to Ran and not Ken. Have fun. And as always, enjoy.
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If this is what I get when I listen to him, then I'm never doing it again.

Most of the time Ken is fairly laid back about our relationship. He doesn't whine, he doesn't bitch, he doesn't hang on me in public, and he doesn't make bizarre sexual requests. I say 'most of the time,' because every once in a while something inside my koibito snaps. Maybe he pops a blood vessel in his brain, I don't know. Suffice to say that today was one of those days. And this is what I get for it.

Let me recap. It stared like this:

"Raaaaan-kuuuuuun?!"

"Hn?"

"Do you wanna go out with me tonight?"

"Tempting... but no."

"Why not?! You never go out with me! We never get to go out and -do- anything! Noooo, we just sit around and screw! That's all we ever do. Well I'm tired of screwing you, and I wanna go out! Please?! Pretty, please? Come on, koi... I love you...."

"Ken, you know how I feel about public places."

"Why?! Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?! That really hurts. I'm good enough to warm your otherwise empty bed, but I'm not good enough to be seen in a club with? I guess going out in public with me, your -boyfriend- , must be terribly taxing on your nerves! Well, just see if I put out anytime soon!"

"Ken that is not what this is about. I have no problem being with you in public, it's just being in public period that I dislike."

"I know, but koooii, I really, really, really wanna go out and do something fun with you... I promise I'll make it worth your whiiile."

"Ken..."

Of course at this point in time Ken made it pretty clear he wasn't taking no for an answer and also showed me just what 'worth my while' was going to be worth. I always give in when those soft lips and beautiful eyes of his are involved. Yeah, next time I'll know better.

So we went out. I was forced to be witness to Ken cutting loose, which isn't pretty. He drinks like a fish. A very drunk, prickly, volatile fish. He likes to dance on tables, make nonsensical jokes, fall all over me, take offense at everything, and get in fistfights... which he loses. I had to carry him up the stairs when we got back to the shop.

The next hour was spent holding Ken's hair out of his way as he vomited profusely into the toilet, alternating with me trying to clean up his face, which was rather bruised and not a little bloody from his various lost fist fights, between bouts of heaving. If you can live through the stench of alcohol and bile and still have the nerve find your lover sexy you know it's true love. I, unfortunately, still found him sexy, or else I wouldn't be in the position I am in now.

Ken has the ability to rebound from anything. Alcohol poisoning included. After he completely emptied his stomach and then heaved a little more he proclaimed, "Oh, man. I feel sooo much better! Thanks, koi. Now just let me brush my teeth and gargle and I'll make good on that promise..."

I really shouldn't have listened. I should have said, "We're calling it a night. We'll get it on tomorrow." But no. I said, "Hn." Noncommittal as it sounds, that's actually a pretty loaded word as far as I'm concerned.

I stretch my free arm and grunt, trying to get the crick out of my back. I strain against the handcuffs. Yes, I said handcuffs. They are attached to the back of my bed, holding my arm up in the air and keeping me from going anywhere. It's kinky, and I know that, but what the hell was I going to do? Say no?

I've said it before, I like Ken when he's aggressive. I like it a lot. It gets me so hot I can't stand it. Yeah I know, the whole vomiting thing should have been not only a turn off but a warning, but… when he got all cleaned up… with the bruises and the little cuts… he just looked so goddamned manly standing in the doorway, looking at me with those eyes, twirling the handcuffs around one finger.

"You wanna play a little game?" he'd asked me in a tone that felt like silk.

I'd licked my lips without meaning to and that was the end of that. Next thing I knew I was naked, handcuffed to my bed, and just about to succumb to Ken's sexual prowess. His fingers teased me, running over my body, scratching my skin, pinching and pulling. My free hand gripped the sheets and my other wrist strained against the handcuffs, metal biting into my skin as my body tensed.

And just as the erotic waves his hands and lips and hair caused to course through my body became nearly unbearable, and tiny whimpers escaped my lips, my breathing becoming ragged, what did I feel? His soft lips across the tip of my cock? The exploratory pressure of his capable fingers against my anus? No. Deadweight across my abdomen.

"Ken?" No response.

"Kenken?" Nothing but the soft, rhythmic breathing of one who sleeps deeply. Or has passed out in a drunken stupor as was more Ken's case.

So here I am. Going on three AM with my lover passed out across my torso. The arm that is handcuffed to the bedpost is beginning to fall asleep, and there is no way to get rid of the crick in my back. This is the last time I listen to Ken when he gets in one of his moods.

I kick my legs to regain circulation. I grunt and try to flip halfway onto my side. I fail.

"Ken Hidaka, you idiot!" I cry, trying once again to wake him up. He doesn't even have the decency to grumble. I try glaring at him. That doesn't work either. I'm going to kill him when he wakes up. I hope he realizes that. I stare at the ceiling.

This sucks. I only pray that neither Youji nor Omi have any reason to try to find one of us tonight. I'd hate to give Youji any more blackmail material and I'd hate to scar Omi for life. I twitch and start to count the swirls on the ceiling for the fifth time. "Countin' flowers on the wall… that don't bother me at all…," I sing under my breath, sighing in exasperation. Perhaps now is the time for a little self reflection….

Ken stirs and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. I sit halfway up and poke at him with my free hand. He murmurs something and starts to snore. I yank on his hair. "Ken!"

He starts and shakes his head. "Ooooh, not now, koi… my head feels like it's going to explode…. Just let me sleep…."

Like hell I will! I sit up a little farther feeling the strain on my arm from its unnatural position. I slap at his face. Hard.

He grunts and brings a hand to his cheek. He starts to prop himself up and looks over at me with hurt eyes. "What was that for? What did I do?" he whimpers.

"Ken!" I cry. "Do you not -recall- handcuffing me to the bed and then passing out?! I've been lying here with you cutting off the circulation to my legs and one hand attached to the bed post of almost two hours!"

He looks dazed and tries to focus on me. He fails rather utterly. He shakes his head. "Why did I want to do that?"

"Well, we -were- going to have mad nasty sex until you passed out."

He blinks at me and grins sheepishly. "Oooh, yeah. Now I remember. Jesus, how much did you let me drink, koi?"

I gape at him. "How much did I -let- you drink? There was no let about it, you just drank."

"Well… I figured you wouldn't let me get hosed. That's why I never go drinking alone. I just don't know when to quit," he slurs as he craws up over my legs and looks into my eyes. "I thought that you at least would keep me in line."

"Would you just get me out of these damned handcuffs?!" I growl.

"Ummm… yeah. There's a trick to it… just a sec," he leans up over me and fumbles with the metal release latch. "Zakennayo," he hisses, "my head hurts."

"Wait a second," I growl, "you mean these things aren't locked?!"

"Um… no. Where would I get -real- handcuffs? Ok, don't answer that. Of course they aren't real. Seeing as you have one hand free you could probably have gotten them off by yourself a long time ago…" Ken stops talking and lets his voice trail off. I know he can feel me glaring at him. I exude really pissed off.

"So I've been locked to the bed for almost two hours for nothing?!" I cry as I hear the latch spring open and I yank my wrist free. I shove Ken roughly and he falls back onto the bed between my legs. "Baka!" I yell.

"Itai! Aya-kun, cut it out my head is killing me!" Ken says, covering his head with his arms. "What are you so mad about?!"

"You chained me to the bed for two hours!"

"Well at least I didn't break any bones!" he shoots back.

"That has nothing to do with it. And maybe you'll remember your headache the next time you beg me to go out drinking with you," I growl.

"Hey, I just wanted us to have some fun for once! We never spend time together doing anything. We just hang out and fool around here all the time. Don't you ever get bored just sitting around with me?" he asks taking my wrist and rubbing it where the metal edge of the handcuffs has chaffed it.

He's so sweet. He's so beautiful. He's such an idiot. "No."

He looks up into my eyes and smiles a little. "Really?"

I pull my hand free of his and lean forward, touching his face, running a finger over one of the bruises he was dealt earlier. "Ken, I don't need anything else to make the time I spend with you worth while. All I need is you." Why would he ever think anything different? I hate going out.

"I'm so sorry, koi… I'm sorry that I handcuffed you to the bed and then fell asleep."

"Passed out."

"What?"

"You passed out. There was no falling asleep. And that's not the only thing you should be sorry for."

He rolls his eyes and puts his hand over mine on his cheek. "Ok. I'm sorry that I made you go out drinking with me, that I got really drunk, made an ass of myself, and got in fistfights. And I'm sorry that I got sick and barfed multiple times while you had to hold me up, I'm sorry that I suggested we partake of lewd sex acts and handcuffed you to your bed and then passed out on you. Oh, and that I didn't tell you they weren't real handcuffs. Are you satisfied? Can we go to sleep now, 'cause my head is killing me, koi." He slumps forward against my chest.

"I suppose I can forgive you this one time," I say, putting my arms around him and tipping us both over onto the bed. We wriggle under the covers and I pull him against my chest. "But the next time we use the handcuffs, no drinking allowed."

"Next time?" he asks against me, giggling a little.

"What? You think one half-assed run through is good enough? I don't think so. We still need to break them in." I run my hand up his spine and play with the hair at the base of his neck. I can never stay mad at him. Even when he does stupid things like handcuff me to my own bed… or break my reading glasses.

"If you say so, I won't complain."

"I say so."

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