It was too soon! She did not wish to see it; she did not wish to know it. But here she was, walking willingly down to see the place where her brother had dwelled, and died. She was glad to have Han beside her, for he was the only one she would allow herself to cry in front of, now that her other half was gone.
That familiar door, the door she should have rushed to when she felt it. But she had been too afraid to walk in to that. But now she was facing her fear, and she was breaking inside. Han opened the door, and she stepped in, taking in the place through both her normal senses and her force senses, the same senses he had opened within her, and helped her control them. But he was no longer there, and it was hard to block the emotions that poured into her, his emotions, from the moment he stepped into this place, to the very last breath he had. Happiness, joy, sadness, pain, anger, confusion, there seemed to be darker emotions then light emotions. Why hadn't she noticed it before?
She felt Han place a hand on her shoulder. She nodded to him to signal she would be fine, though they both knew she would not. She moved forward, walking past the familiar items to the bedroom. There the investigators were searching the place. There was a marking out on the floor, in the shape of a body, and also there was a large puddle of dry blood.
She almost ran from the site. She didn't want to face this; she didn't want it to be so fully real right in front of her. But she would not back down either.
"Lady Solo, my condolences on this tragic event," an investigator said, approaching them, seemingly true sorrow in his eyes.
She felt like screaming at him, telling him that it wasn't true, that he didn't know him. But she refrained, knowing that it would only be because she was hurt and angry. The man didn't need her to take her frustrations out on.
"He left this behind for both of you," the investigator said, handing them a small note wrapped in plastoid.
She took it from him and looked at it. Tears began to run down her face as she read the last words of her brother.
'Dear Leia and Han,
By the time you read this, I will have joined the Force. I must do this. I can't explain it though. I am going mad, truly mad. It is not the duties I have done, nor the people I have murdered. No, it is myself that is driving me mad. I can't live with it, the eternal darkness and madness, in my waking and in my dreaming. But no more. He shall haunt me no more. I know no longer who I truly am. I don't think I ever was the one you knew.'
And underneath his harshly written handwriting was two words smeared in blood.
'Forgive me'
"What did he mean?" she whispered painfully, clutching the letter in her hands.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I don't know, darling, I sincerely don't know," he whispered, and she then hid her face in his shoulder, trying to hide the tears that were falling.
"I am truly sorry," the investigator said again.
He nodded then went back to comforting his wife. The investigator continued his work.
That familiar door, the door she should have rushed to when she felt it. But she had been too afraid to walk in to that. But now she was facing her fear, and she was breaking inside. Han opened the door, and she stepped in, taking in the place through both her normal senses and her force senses, the same senses he had opened within her, and helped her control them. But he was no longer there, and it was hard to block the emotions that poured into her, his emotions, from the moment he stepped into this place, to the very last breath he had. Happiness, joy, sadness, pain, anger, confusion, there seemed to be darker emotions then light emotions. Why hadn't she noticed it before?
She felt Han place a hand on her shoulder. She nodded to him to signal she would be fine, though they both knew she would not. She moved forward, walking past the familiar items to the bedroom. There the investigators were searching the place. There was a marking out on the floor, in the shape of a body, and also there was a large puddle of dry blood.
She almost ran from the site. She didn't want to face this; she didn't want it to be so fully real right in front of her. But she would not back down either.
"Lady Solo, my condolences on this tragic event," an investigator said, approaching them, seemingly true sorrow in his eyes.
She felt like screaming at him, telling him that it wasn't true, that he didn't know him. But she refrained, knowing that it would only be because she was hurt and angry. The man didn't need her to take her frustrations out on.
"He left this behind for both of you," the investigator said, handing them a small note wrapped in plastoid.
She took it from him and looked at it. Tears began to run down her face as she read the last words of her brother.
'Dear Leia and Han,
By the time you read this, I will have joined the Force. I must do this. I can't explain it though. I am going mad, truly mad. It is not the duties I have done, nor the people I have murdered. No, it is myself that is driving me mad. I can't live with it, the eternal darkness and madness, in my waking and in my dreaming. But no more. He shall haunt me no more. I know no longer who I truly am. I don't think I ever was the one you knew.'
And underneath his harshly written handwriting was two words smeared in blood.
'Forgive me'
"What did he mean?" she whispered painfully, clutching the letter in her hands.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I don't know, darling, I sincerely don't know," he whispered, and she then hid her face in his shoulder, trying to hide the tears that were falling.
"I am truly sorry," the investigator said again.
He nodded then went back to comforting his wife. The investigator continued his work.