Author's Note: I know that Kel is ooc. It's next to impossible to write Kel and Joren falling in love if both of them are themselves. It's not impossible (think some of the better stories) but it's incredibly hard, because it's so easy to make Joren a sop, and I decided that it would be easier to adjust the personality of Kel than to attempt to write her as she is. If she was herself, why would she be going to Scanra? She and Joren wouldn't be on speaking terms, let alone arguing terms.
Besides, if you read the stories, I'm sorry, but Joren really is a pretty nasty person, or at the very least, has a pretty nasty persona. He and Kel wouldn't fall for each other, I don't think. I can imagine some scenarios happening (The Dark Lady Adrienne's Conscience, for example, or The Blind Assassin's Fallen Idols) but they're pretty rare, same for Draco/ Hermione s, or any number of other enemies-falling-in-love ships. (Though of course, I'm totally addicted to them………….. especially the v. romantic ones that aren't all total fluff……tee hee. !. !!.)
So just for the record, if I get anymore notes talking about how ooc Kel is (and thank you, people, you actually are always very nice in them, I'm just being a bit bitchy right now, kind of in a bad mood, I'm incredibly moody sometimes) I'm going to make her bohemian-gothic-drama-queen or something. Maybe I should put that in my summary: An ooc Kel falls for Joren while the author attempts to make up a plot that did not exist five minutes ago. Okay, that sounded incredibly whiny. How about: Slightly AU, First Person Kel, squire, future assassin, cynical and sarcastic, realizes that her life may actually be getting worse. She's falling in love….
Lol
Heh heh heh, I write the longest, most random author's notes when I'm bored, don't I?
La la la la la la la la la…… Oh yeah, if you're cytosine, or anyone who reviewed chappies earlier, when I reformatted the story, it kept the reviews but removed the chapter, so you can't review unless you sign out. * cringes * I forgive you if you don't review, I definitely wouldn't, just remember to keep reading the story……I have a test on monerans and viruses in my semi-bio class. Blah. I don't care about any of that, I don't think I'm going to become a microbiologist, although virology is interesting, and I really didn't need to do the ager and fungi / bacteria lab, and I especially did not need to see how much gross grimy stuff is on everyone and everything. I do not need any more irrational phobias!!!!!
And now this is the revising Amanda! My science teacher still hasn't given me my test back! Evil, evil, evil….. And I have the new lab partner from hell: science genius boy who thinks he's god's gift to mankind, and that I'm a moron. It's very fun to watch his face when we get grades back, I only seem like I'm a bit of a ditz. I'm actually pretty smart. I get good grades, and everything. On the other hand, we had to look at all this cyanobacteria in class today, and he monopolized the microscope, and he was fully aware! I mean, jeez! Problems with that? I spent it drawing, lightbulbs, for heaven's sake. I'm in a rather bad mood right now—life is so much easier when all you have to do is tutor your lab partner. I am so going to kill Kaplan if he doesn't stop…
Ok, ok, I'll shut up now. La la la la la la la la la la la ………….
Part Seven
I woke up two weeks later, uneasy, unsettled, and unhappy. Nothing seemed to have gone right recently, and I feared that my life was going downhill, back to the perpetual doldrums of attitude, and that nothing would ever return what was for me, normal.
No, I hadn't had any long, screeching rows with Joren, no fist fights, no –I hate you! Well, I hate you! sort of moronic disagreements—but on the other hand, I hadn't exactly kissed him, either. In fact, I barely had had any physical contact with him at all. We hadn't done anything—no communication beyond what was strictly necessary, and he seemed to be avoiding me.
I swung myself over on my bed so that my face was in my pillow, and I breathed deeply in the musty air, coughed, and decided to flip back over. I lay still, gazing with unending fascination at the ceiling. Damn, I thought bitterly, dammit.
Oh Goddess, are you acting like a lovesick puppy! I berated myself silently, disgusted, hoping beyond hope that the words would somehow imprint themselves into my brain. Get a grip, Kel. You've been acting all weird around him every time you come within ten feet of him, no wonder he's been avoiding you.
I bit my lip, angry, both at myself and the fact that, try though I might, I couldn't deny the fact that I felt differently towards him. Of course not, stupid, you're in love with him, mocked an invisible voice within my head. I chose to ignore it, the only option that left me any dignity.
But I don't love him! I protested, Mithros, I'm not even sure if I like him…………
I sat up, swallowing, and then rose, drew a piece of paper from one of my cases, and grabbing a quill, flopped onto my stomach.
J. S. M., my quill scratched out. I was prepared to make the full list that Lalasa had told me about one time, when she had overinhibited just a bit, for, and against, when I hesitated, looked at the paper, and threw the crumpled paper against the wall. Hell.
I couldn't write a list like that, either he'd find it, which would be incredibly embarrassing, or someone else would, which could possibly be fatal. Besides, something that private couldn't be written down. You had to keep it in your head, where no one would ever find it out.
Maybe I was right, earlier, I thought, about the whole like-love thingie. Maybe. 'Cos they're kinda intertwined, aren't they, can't have one without the other, can you.
Nah, that's wrong.
I propped my chin onto my elbows. Nah, it's not like-love, that'd be if I had a crush on someone normal, like, well… Neal, say, he is very good looking, and would make more sense than this. It's not whether I love him or just like him, 'cos I sure as hell don't like him one gods-damned bit, but whether I love him or hate him.
Either of which are equally plausible, see, 'cos sometimes I do one, sometimes the other. They're the same bloody thing, aren't they?
Oh Goddess, this argument is just going around in circles. I'm even confusing myself.
"I dunno if I even know what I'm talking about," I said, quietly. "I don't make any bloody sense, do I."
Hell with the pity party, I said, and got up. I changed into a simple, blue smock and a white shift, and left for work. Outta here.
"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go…"
***
"Here you go, milords, miladies," I said automatically, in an annoyingly (to me, anyway, not that I was the best judge of human nature) cheerful voice, as I placed a platter of roasted meats on the high table, and curtsied. "And may the gods all bless you." And may the force be with you.
It was the traditional thing to say as you served the Scanran nobles; several nodded, a few muttered blessings (or curses) under their breaths, and most ignored me. The better way to go, of course, I reminded myself, listening in on conversations is so much easier when they treat you like part of the furniture.
I returned for several more trips, carrying meats, and vegetables, and meats and vegetables, and meats, and more meat, and even more, but it was not until I came in bearing a delicious apple-y smelling confection that I wanted desperately to shove down my throat that I heard anything of interest.
"—ain't 'xactly doin' anything to 'em, really, but they're all fire' up—" someone said, in a thick drawl, a man from the border, most likely: he had the Tortallan-Scanran sound.
"—dunno why, ask 'im, he'd know. His serfs, after all—"
"—all rebellious all sudden—"
"—but why—"
So the peasants aren't exactly happy, either, I thought, rebellious, eh? Does there need to be an evil, villainous laugh right now or does there need to be an evil, villainous laugh? The muahahahaha type, or the bwahahahaha type. Must bring Merric along next trip north to assassinate ruler, damn useful tool he'd be……
Okay, why do I keep distracting myself like that? Honestly.
The meal was completed, the kitchen maids cleared the remains off once they left, I had a brief reprieve for food, and another brief lesson in drama from Joren. ('My love!' 'Dear heart!' 'It pains me so, I missed you much!' 'Oh, darling dear!'….. et cetera. Very painful, and often very funny. Cracked me up most of the time.)
Entering the servants' lunching hall, I helped myself to a plate of rice and overcooked green things, the origin of which I was not sure. The cook's helpers refused to eat the meat, so I had gathered that it was probably a good idea to avoid it; and after Schala, one of the more gossipy ones, had told me what they did with everything that fell on the floor, I figured that it was also probably hazardous to the health, as well. I think I'll skip……
"Ho, Georyn," I said cheerfully, as I slid down to sit at a table, "how are you today, oh best beloved?"
Joren had been hunched over, morosely chewing at bread, but he straightened up to gaze at me, his eyes twinkling, a startling change to his face, which caused my stomach to perform a little jump. "Wonderful, my angel," he replied, and leaned in, whispering, "Mithros, Mindelan, don't you think you're getting a little too enthusiastic? Did someone pass you some happy water today, or something?"
"I am not drunk!" I protested softly, indignantly, and then smiled, lovingly. "Oh, Georyn…." I sighed, breathlessly, gazing at his face in not-all-entirely feigned admiration. The boy's got the most incredible smile, I thought, and mentally smacked myself. Don't think that type of thought, don't even think that type of thought….even if that thought isn't technically one of those, don't even think about it…
He rose, drawing me close to him. I could smell him, that thoroughly unique scent that was just…him…so unique and so thoroughly delicious. His arms around me, I permitted myself—come on, you want to, don't lie—to lay my head upon his shoulder, relaxing in the comfort of love in someone who did not love me, even if only for a moment.
Six foot five and five eleven! I exulted. Perfect heights! Cha-ching!
"Anything unusual happen—darling?" he whispered into my ear.
He really needs to stop breathing down my neck, I thought hazily, my ears prickling at his hot breath.
"Later, my love!" I replied, in a shocked tone as I drew away; and for the benefit of the audience watching either in delicious amusement at such young infatuation, and/or violent jealousy, decided to wing it. "Such a thing to say….nay, do not! I beg of thee!" Okay, that sounded a little too play-ish, kinda too theatrical.
He regarded me calmly. I think he might be getting used to my dramatic outbursts, we've definitely gone over the edge if such is the case….Pulling me back, he ran his long, aristocratic fingers through my hair. I involuntarily shivered, though not badly enough for him to notice. I really, really, really hope….Really…Or else I am so screwed…. "Indeed, Syrne?"
I nodded meekly at him, glaring. "Gods Joren," I breathed all but silently, oh fucking hell, I just called him Joren—"shove it, will ya?"
He raised an eyebrow. "No," he replied.
"Hell, you're annoying," I said, then sat down to eat. He posed himself next to me, watching me, with a fake lover's yearn on his face. "Go away, S.M."
"S.M.?" asked a stringy, graying old washerwoman nearby. "Odd lover's name, isn't it, girl?"
"Um," I smiled tightly, damn!, "Well."
"What does it mean, anyway?" she inquired archly. "Don't 'um' me, young one!"
I took a deep breath, preparing myself for utter bull, mentally thinking of all plausible explanations for S.M. I could give to the old witch. Never calling him that again, never saying that again….
"Suh-suh-sweet, uh, um….well…."
"Don't babble, child!" she reprimanded. "Answer me, and be quick about it!"
Oh, shit.
"Sweet…." Mathematician? Marmalade? Malabaster? No, that isn't even a word…………"Monkey," I finished abruptly, a bright smile on my face. "Yeah. Sweet Monkey."
She gave me the oddest look.
***
"Sweet monkey," he repeated, for perhaps the 19th time. He smiled at me, his handsome face
all but godlike. "Honestly, Mindelan, is Sweet Monkey the best you could come up with?"
"What? You prefer Stoned Molehill, or Sacred Molar, or Silly Marmalade, or some other crap,
you idiot?" I volleyed back, irritated by the whole mess. And he seems to be enjoying it to the
full, the bastard.
"What the….Hell, Mindelan, is it possible that you could have picked a worse phrase. I
assume you meant Stone Mountain, though, smart one?"
We were in the opium den once more, amid the thick haze of smoke and overlying smell of alcohol.
I think that Joren must have been at least a little tipsy, to be speaking so openly, but perhaps not.
No one could notice us, anyway: they were too drunk or drugged to care. Ryer was, as
usual, out somewhere, somewhere being especially vague. I personally did not want to know
what she did with her free time, or who she spent it with. Inquiry into other people's lives
has never exactly been my favorite pastime.
"Yes, I did. Change the subject," I demanded. Cross me and die.
"What, but—"
"Now!" I shrieked.
Joren gave me that quizzical look again, and shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, your imperial majesty,"
he teased in a light voice. "I live to serve, o wondrous one."
I smiled at him, only two, three feet away. "That's the spirit!" I replied, "always nice and submissive.
Way to go."
"Yeah, okay. Sure. What is it, anyway?" he asked. "You came into midday all skipping. What'd
ya hear?"
I looked at him, serious, knowing it could indicate the future, which of course meant our lives, and
yet secretly, very very happy. I am so going to bad girl hell when I die.
"I'll tell you later," I blurted out, self-consciously, shyly. "Not here, too many people listening. I'll tell
you though."
His eyes pierced mine. "Where? Your room? Mine?"
"Let's go with….yours, I think," I replied.
He nodded sharply. "All right, Kel," Joren said, walking off, indicating that the conversation was
over. But wait—
He had called me Kel?
Yes! People, I just got the most awesome pair of shoes, they're black sandals, very high heels, very slinky. And the perfect short dress to go with them, this short brown-gold contraption. I love it! I love it! I love it!
Thank yous to: Everybody, of course, in the entire world, but particularly the person who first invented chocolate cake (yum!) as well as: (drum roll, please!)…..
Glasen Dauthi: (of the totally awesome name.) Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Heh heh heh…..I am very hyper, very very very hyper, I had cherry coke and chocolate cake for dinner, and you should not give me that much sugar……. I'm sounding like a broken record! (Okay, where did that come from?) Thank you. But now I've probably scared you away……. A new person! Ha!
Twitch: Ha! Second new person! Except, well….darn. I was trying to make her seem to have been in love with Joren all along just totally oblivious. Oh well, I tried. And I failed. And I'll try again! I need to write a scene in which they make out! Although I think you're in serious competition for Joren, about half the people on this site, for starters….. lol. Thanx!
KittyMonster: eek! Ok, I'll take your threat seriously. Lol, though. Thank you so much! I know everything is kinda unrealistic / non-medieval, but thank you so much! 3rd new person! And I want to steal your name, it's fabulous. Thank you!
Yu: omg! Rotfl! For the sake of anyone bored enough to read these: FINALLY THE DENSE ONE HAS REALIZED HER FLAW!! *points to Kel* Okay, my computer hates me. It won't let me delete, use ctrl+b, or the arrow keys. GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!
Lady Sandrilene: Ola. Como estas? I have got to quit pretending that I know Spanish, when that is about the extent of my entire vocabulary. All right, I'll agree with you about that being totally vague. I was kinda spacing out, AND I WANTED TO END THE STUPID STORY!!! GAH!!! Seriously, how is it possible that FICTIONAL characters can have problems doing what I (the author) tell them to? Honestly. All right. Thank you tons. (I like constructive criticism. It's only when people start yelling like maniacs that I get annoyed.)
Blade Griffin: * blushes terribly * I reformatted them. I think I should probably have given everyone the heads-up about that……
Squire Kali: Yes, I am an evil, evil child. I love writing cliffies, but I hate reading them. Thanx! Blackmail is very good to convince people to update things. La la la….. I should NOT be given chocolate cake….
Black Rose: Thank you!!!!!!! Ok, I'll try to space it smaller, sry about that. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!
Anonymous: Thank you! Tee hee! I LOVE it when people say that; I have the ego from hell and I need to constantly refuel it……. Thank you SOOOOOOOO much!
Evilstrawberry: yes, very poor Kel…..she is coming out of denial...Thank you SOOOOO much!
Free2Bme: Yes! Doesn't it rock when people FINALLY get it through their thick skulls?!?!?!? Thank you SO much!!!!!!
Lucia Dreams: Yeah, I reformatted. I really should have explained, I kinda confused people, didn't I?
Cytosine: Yeah. I think I explained at the beginning of the chapter, the whole reformatting thing was a bit of a mistake. Although yeah, he is INCREDIBLY annoying, especially when you've never READ THE STUPID STORY BEFORE and it tells you you've already reviewed it. That sux. Ok, 2 people telling me that that part was random, I need to fix it, he's just being annoying, normal, thanx for all the plot concepts. BTW, you have some flame throwers, right? I have a sword that I could lend you, and a bunch of matches……..and you could ask Zenin to loan you some knives……
Lady Me: ! thanx for reviewing my stories, it's incredibly nice.
Queenofilangees: hey. Thank you!!! I'm so glad you like my story! And yes, the last line is one of MY favorites, too…….
Arabella Silverbell: Yes! Kel's FINALLY gotten it into her head that: --gasp!—she likes Joren! I'm so happy it's done, I was about to kill fictional characters if they didn't hurry up…….. thanx!
Angel Of The Storms : Thank you! So glad you liked the end. Personally, j'adore the 'bye' part you write, it's awesome.
Henna: Ha! 4th new person reviewing that chappie! I am fanfic author's heaven….. as to the addiction, aren't we all. I NEED someone to write more, I'm starting to read ANYTHING enemies-falling-in-love ish, I really need more K/J fics….. about the birthdays, awesome. My first grade teacher and I shared the same birthday, too…..ok, that was random. W/e. Thanx! I LOVE your name, BTW.
Ahh…… I am FINALLY done! No more revisions! No more personalized little notes! Those take FOREVER, you know.