Disclaimer: Looks at driver's License and sees Martin and not McMahon therefore I don't own a damn thing!
A Night At The Bar With The Muses
A/N: In light of my recent interview with Rey Mysterio I decided to write a fic with him in it. I used Kinky's muses as well and I am introducing mine and myself! Remember I don't own the men just the idea and Kinky owns her idea! Which, I just kind of mooched off of!
Kurt Gets Plastered"619! Rey delivered the 619 and followed through with The West coast Pop. 1! 2! 3! It's over. Rey beats Charlie Hauss!"
"What a huge victory for Mysterio, Cole!"
** Team Angles music hits** (A/N: He doesn't suck so I'm not writing it in. Don't worry you will get to see me trash him enough!)
Kurt comes running out to the ring full force and starts pounding the living crap out of Rey. (Hey! That's not the kind of exposure I wanted. Kurt is totally cheating!)
Charlie has now regained him self and is assisting his honorable team leader. Rey just lies still on the mat. Kurt is now in Rey's face screaming and spitting at him. **Show Ends**
"Rey, sorry about that man! Are you OK?" Kurt asks Rey in the locker room.
"That wasn't in the script damn it and yeah I'm fine."
"Sorry, I couldn't just let Charlie go out like that. I improvised!"
"We Noticed!" Stephanie said. "Kurt, you don't just go along making up things."
"Steph, the audience loved it. Besides, midget over here is fine. He just said so!"
"Shut you bald Olympic ass up."
"WHOA!" Whole locker room looks at Rey stunned that he said that.
"What?" Rey asks
"What!?"
"Austin, where the fuck? You aren't supposed to be here until No Way Out and besides this is SmackDown not Raw." Kurt proclaims
Austin walks away confused.
"Anyway I'm off to the bar! Anyone coming?" Kurt asked.
"You don't drink beer."
"Did someone say beer?" Austin yells
"Fuck Off Austin" yells the whole SmackDown crew
"I know I don't, Steph, but that place on the corner has great milk shakes!"
"Come on, Kurt. I will go and since I won you have to drink one beer." Rey says
"I'm not drinking shit!"
"Pussy. What are you scared? Is the Olympic cry baby scared to get a little buzz going?"
"Fine but just one!"
"I've got to see this!" Jericho yells (A/N: yeah I know Jericho is on Raw but don't mind that!)
"I will have a Miller Light. What do you want Kurt?"
"I need to see your I.D. please sir." The bartender says to Rey
"Ha! Ha! Your midget ass got ID'ed!"
"Shut up, Kurt! What do you want for the second time?"
"A glass of milk!"
"They don't serve Milk at the bar, Kurt"
"They have milkshakes why not milk?"
"KURT! Look you Olympic whine bag just get something."
"I don't like the way alcohol taste."
"Imagine that! Drink a fluff drink then."
Kurt just looked at Rey confused.
"Bar tender give the moron a MiTie." (A/N: can I have one and that spelling doesn't look right, huh?)
"What's that?"
"A fluff drink on the rocks. Don't worry you can't taste the alcohol at all. It's real fruity!"
"Are you trying to say I'm fruity?"
"You said it, I didn't"
**Meanwhile with Jericho and Christian**
"You are totally a Greek God, Chris."
"Of course I am! Stop being an ass clown and drink your beer!"
Chris and Christian were on about their 6th beer apiece. Chris' vision had already become blurred and he thought Stephanie was a model.
"Hey Steph you want to come home with a living idle, the king of the world him self, Chris Jericho?"
"EWW! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you wearing your beer goggles already, Chris?" Christian nervously asked his friend.
"Fuck both of you! I have Kurt and don't need you 2 dork chops!"
"You can't say that! I say that." Christian protested
"Kurt? That Olympic crybaby? I am surprised he can get dressed on his own in the morning!"
"He is not that bad! Just look at him, he's perfect!"
All three turn around to look at Kurt.
"Kurt! Get down from there! Rey, what the hell are you giving him?"
Kurt was on the bar and was completely stripped down to his shibbies. Which I must add is a flag thong! (A/N: YUM!)
"He just had 4 MiTies! He drank them awfully fast though!"
"You gave him a MiTie! That has like 4 different alcohols in it!" Stephanie yelled.
Kurt was now starting to take his thong off and had a small crowd forming.
"Oh my eyes! Someone get the moron off of the bar!" Chris yelled
Just then Hunter comes walking up from out of nowhere
"Leave him alone! Take if off, Kurt. Show everyone why Daddy loves you!"
Hunter was just making things worse. Kurt laid down on the bar and started sucking on Hunter's finger.
"Oh dear God! Someone please do something! Help us please!" Christian yelled
"Don't worry citizen Christian Hurricane will save the day with his hurri-powers!" Hurricane said. (A/N: yeah he just came out of nowhere too)
Hurricane ran over to the bar but fainted when he saw Kurt sitting in Hunter's lap butt naked. Kurt had his MiTie with a little umbrella in it in one hand and his other arm around Hunter's neck.
"Hunter I asked Kinky if Kurt could be out for the night but I don't remember asking about you." I asked who also seemed to appear out of the same place as Hunter did. Nowhere!
"Um, well if you don't tell her she will never know!"
"What if she reads this?"
"Then I'm screwed!"
"As long as you know that! Where did Rey go by the way? He was just bitching at me for not exposing him enough and then he runs off and hides?"
"I'm hiding in the corner. I was all about staring in this when you said you wanted to expose me and possibly sign me on as one of your muses but I had no idea Kurt would be dancing naked on a bar!"
"Well, you can't be picky! Besides, I think he looks cute as hell!" I tried to get a better frontal view of Kurt who buried his head into Hunter's arm.
"Hunter! Leave! You are always interfering with Kurt and me. How am I supposed to seduce him if you are always stuck up his butt?" I looked a little confused when I just realized what I had implied.
"Never mind forget I said that! Just go home!"
"No! I am the game. I'm that damn good!"
"That's right you tell her, Hunter baby." Kurt cooed in his ear
"I don't care who you are! This is my fic and if I want you to leave you will! End of story!"
Kurt looked confused. "You are already ending the story? You haven't even got started good!"
"I give up!" I said throwing my hands up
"Are you still writing me out of the sto…
"Guess that answers that question!"
"Where did my Hunter go? That's not fair! I'm telling Kinky on you!"
"Fine she didn't know he was here anyway! You tell on him and he may get locked away for months!"
"You're a bitch, Casey!"
"Kurt Angle! How dare you talk to me like that! I have been nothing but good to you! I am in love with your gay ass, for god sakes"
Kurt was sulking now. Still sitting naked as a jaybird. The good thing though is he scared the whole bar off so we were all drinking for free. The bar consisted of Me, Kurt, Jericho, Christian, Hurricane Helms who is still passed out in the floor, some bald man with a huge resemblance to Austin, Stephanie, Rob Van Damn, and Tommy Dreamer! (A/N: I promise those are the last two I'm just going to have appear out of nowhere. Maybe.)
Tommy Gets A Lap Dance"Rob what the hell are you doing?" Jericho asked.
"I'm paying Dreamer to eat shit off the ground for money. Watch. Hey Tommy I will pay you 30 bucks to lick the bottom of Jericho's shoes."
"Hold on! That Ass Clown is not touching me. I don't care how funny it is!" Jericho paused a second and thought about Dreamer licking his shoes.
"Wait, yeah you can, here." Chris held up his foot
"Totally cool, man!"
Kurt was crying into his thong when he realized everyone was now watching the WWE's no. 1 Psyche patient eat stuff off the ground for money.
"Dude! I told you he would do it! He just ate a tomato that had been in that ash tray over there."
"Hey I got an idea," I said. "Hey, Kurt darling come here."
"No!"
"Look like I told lover boy earlier this is my fic!"
Kurt gets drug over to the crowd by the bald guy that looked like Austin. Nobody else would do it since Kurt was naked and the bald guy wanted a part besides sitting at the bar smoking.
"OK Dreamer will you do anything for money?"
"Yeah but I am not touching any part of that things body! God make him put some clothes on."
Kurt rolled his eyes and grabbed his jogging pants off the bar and tried to put them on but failed. He was so drunk he passed out on top of Hurricane.
"Great! My Idea passed out! Oh well guess I will have to end my fic now!"
"No! Wait I'm awake. Look, here I am!" Kurt said quickly jumping too his feet
"That's what I thought! Tommy I will pay you 100 dollars if you will let Kurt give you a lap dance and Kurt you have to strip back down to your thong!"
"No way, Casey! Look I will go sit in the box for a week but he is not lap dancing for me!"
"I will add a 100 to it, Dreamer." RVD said.
"OK!" Dreamer's eyes popped out of his head at the sound of that much money.
Kurt was excited by the idea. His thong reveled that much. I turned on the jukebox and Dumb ass Brittany came blaring out of the speakers.
Kurt jumped in Tommy's lap who was about to pass out but Rob and I keep waving the money at him. Kurt started thrusting his hips at Tommy's face. We were all dying. Kurt then put his hand behind Dreamer's head and grabbed the back of his chair. He leaned his body back towards the ground thrusting old glory in the air. He was really getting into this. He looked like he had done t before. He got off of Tommy's lap and started humping the ground. Jericho and Stephanie disappeared about 10 minutes ago. I guess all the heat Kurt was putting off became too much for them.
"How much longer, Casey? I'm about to puke." Dreamer asked through gritted teeth.
"Look you belong to me and you will stay there as long as I say." (A/N I don't really own him but I don't have to tell you that!)
"Carry on, Kurt"
Kurt smiled from ear to ear and jumped back in Tommy's lap. He then proceeded to breathe into Dreamer's ear and rubbing the back of his head. Kurt's strudel as Rock would say was about to explode.
"Ok, Kurt that's enough. Get off of Poor Tommy's lap."
"Awe, I don't wanna."
"Kurt! Here's your money Dreamer."
Rob and I proceeded to pay Tommy.
"That was awful! I would rather eat a hamburger w/worms than have that dork chop dance on my lap!"
"You can't say that!"
"Shut-up, Christian! That's Kurt's new nickname and besides you have to admit it fits him well."
"Yeah, I guess you are right, Casey."
"Of course I am. This is my fic damn it!"
Kurt was sitting next to Tommy rubbing his leg. Tommy was scared to death but I was making him indulge him. It would keep him out of everyone else's hair.
"Ok guys that's going to do it for tonight. It's 2 a.m. and I still have to introduce everyone to you dork chops! Don't say a word Christian!"
Thanks: Kinky again for letting me borrow the muses! All my muses for cooperating and to welcome Rey to my family! Also a special thanks to the bald headed guy with an odd resemblance to Austin!