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Endings are Beginnings

Courtney's eyes roamed over the deserted docks, the cold night air nipping at her cheeks almost painfully; she could not feel it though. She sat on the closest bench, trying desperately to focus on breathing again; it felt as if she had not since she left the loft. Tears slipped down her cheeks, painful sobs racking her body, his words still haunting her. It had been a lie every moment, every single word of "truth" he had fed her. Courtney felt the wind become stronger, beginning to encircle her, but numbness overcame her.The cold acting as another reminder of the future that had become so bleak so fast. The blonde's tears fell faster as his words echoed in her head and heart.

"I never loved you, how could I? Your still A.j's wife" Jason stated, eyes downcast. Courtney tried to reach for him but he pulled back, pushing her hands away. He left as quickly as he came in, and that is when she felt her heart break, she did not even deserve the time of day anymore, not his anyway.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips as she remembered all of A.J's insistent warnings.

"He's just a cold blooded killer" Maybe he was right, her husband, had seen something in Jason, she refused too. A.J. knew the real Jason, the one who left Courtney standing alone in the loft while tears poured down her cheeks and he broke every promise he made. The rain slowly began to trickle from the sky washing away the tears that had been spilled over Jason, Courtney rose from the bench, taking one last look at the docks before hurrying back up the stairs.

Sonny's penthouse the next day

Carly yawned descending the stairs to find Sonny already busy with paperwork. She rolled her eyes, his voice grew louder as he yelled over the phone to someone in Spanish. The knock on the door caught the dark blonde off guard and she watched Sonny look up at her expectantly, from his place on the couch. Carly nodded, letting a sigh escape her lips as she opened the large oak door. Courtney stood waiting patiently dressed in a pale blue sweater and black skirt, causing Carly to look down at her robe in disgust.

"Sorry to stop by so early, I wanted to say goodbye" Courtney stated, attempting a smile that never reached her eyes. Carly ushered her inside, a look of concern crossing her features, as she observed her sister in law's discomfort.

"Morning sis" Sonny stated wrapping his arms around her only to her pull back. Sonny looked towards Carly trying to understand his sister's demeanor.

"I'm going to Los Angeles" Courtney announced simply, a cold edge accenting her tone as she met Sonny's gaze. Carly stood in shock, trying not to let her sadness show as Courtney wrapped her in a hug.

"What about Jason?" Carly whispered in her ear. Courtney pulled back looking towards Sonny, anger building at the sight of him.

"Why don't you ask my brother why Jason dumped me" Courtney felt the venom caress her words as she took one last look at Sonny before turning back to Carly.

"Tell Michael I love him and that I'm sorry we couldn't spend more time together and good luck Carly I know your going to have great success with your new club" Courtney blinked back tears, Carly once again enveloping her in a hug. Courtney pulled back making her way towards the door without looking back, at her newfound and once again lost family.

Carly turned to Sonny brushing stray tears from her cheeks. She could see the sadness in Sonny's eyes and the way he drifted off lost in his own thoughts content to pull away and brood.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Carly yelled, pulling him from his thoughts.

Courtney stood waiting for the elevator that seemed like it would never arrive. She tried to stop her eyes from glancing towards his door, all the promises were broken she reminded herself. He excited his penthouse and into hall silently but she heard him and tried to avoid looking at him. She began wishing she could blend into the scenery so he would not even look at her.

"Courtney" Jason spoke her name the same he always did with love and a gentleness she had never heard, from any other man. It almost made her believe it was all a nightmare. The loft scene never happened, he never ripped her heart to shreds, but it had and now all that remained was reality, the one where she was not with Jason, and the one where he never loved her.

"I was just visiting Carly to say goodbye" She stated, turning to face him for the first time. For a moment, Courtney could swear she saw pain in his eyes but his stone mask quickly replaced it. He nodded and the elevator doors opened before her, she turned her eyes onto the elevator stepping in it silently. Her gaze turned back towards Jason as the metal doors slowly closed in front of her; he stared back and they looked at each other for the last time.

L.A. two days later

Courtney took a deep breath trying to clear her mind as she made her way down the pathway and further into the park. The sun shone down from above and a warm breeze encircled her, exactly the opposite of Port Charles's current snowstorm and below freezing temperatures. Kids ran across a park, screaming and laughing. Courtney felt a pang in her heart as she touched her stomach absent-mindedly, before taking a seat on a nearby bench. She noticed the woman clad in black making her way towards the bench and Courtney rolled her eyes. Sitting across from her, the woman did not even attempt pleasantries. She just handed Courtney a velvet bag and an envelope.

"I need someone I can trust a hit woman if you will, I need someone who wants to destroy Corinthos, I think that's you" The blonde stated, handing Courtney a piece of paper before walking back towards the black limo she had come from. Courtney stared at the paper in her palm reading the number that was scribbled beneath Faith Roscoe's name. Rising, Courtney walked back towards her apartment.

Pushing aside some boxes and dishes that lay around Courtney set the gift from Faith down on the table next to the envelope. She paused tapping her fingernails against the wooden surface before inspecting the contents of the envelope. A stack of crisp 100-dollar bills fell from the package. Courtney's eyes widened in response, what seemed like five thousand dollars, literally fell into her lap. She placed the money aside, gripping the velvet bag with slightly shaky fingers as she awaited the next surprise.

The cold metal object slipped into her palm and she practically dropped it, in shock. When the blonde finally picked the gun up the disgust she had always felt for these objects ebbed away to curiosity. She let her fingers caress the handle looping them into place in front of the trigger. Courtney aimed the gun wondering what it would feel like to fire it, she could imagine destroying someone's life with one shot. The thought was unsettling and she placed it down, Busying herself with more unpacking and cleaning. She could not help but glance towards the firearm and money despite her attempts to distract herself. Placing the broom she had been holding aside, she pulled a piece of paper from her jean pocket reading over the contents once again. Running a hand through her hair, she paused contemplating the weight of her decision what she would be doing to Sonny and Jason. She needed the money though it wasn't just going to be she who needed taking care of anymore. Courtney pulled the cell phone from her coat pocket dialing the numbers on the sheet with slight hesitation, before she could even think of hanging up the other end of the line picked up.

"Faith its Courtney Matthews, I have decided to take you up on your offer"

Sometimes love is not enough to stop you from hurting others, sometimes grief and hatred make the decisions for you, thought Courtney.