Chapter 4: Strange Behaviors

            Warren Slater stood facing the window, looking out at the two planets that hung in the view of the plate glass. The smaller of the two, Malenkee, was sparse and bare, the hot winds of a solar planet sweeping it endlessly in harsh gusts. It was a wasteland; the small part of it that was habitable, near the caps, was burned in its desert heat. The other, Bolshoi, was its complete opposite. It dwarfed its sister planet, swelled almost four times its size, and drifted, a solid block of ice in the spacial night. Another empty wilderness, a biting tundra where not many could survive. He sighed and turned away from them, staring into his darkened office.

            There was a knock and a moment later the door slid open, flooding the apartment with light.

            "Sorry to intrude," a light tenor voice said, far too flippantly. "But I…"

            "Dammit, Alec! I told you I didn't want to be interrupted!"

            Umber eyes glinted with amusement in the pale luminance glowing behind him. "Well, since I'm fairly sure you were just staring at the wall…again, I didn't think it was that urgent."

            Warren felt his expression twist, unable to contain his disdain for the serval cat in front of him. "What did you want?" he said tersely.

            Alec Secorsky cocked his head, his faint smirk remaining on despite the other's reserve.  "Well, I just thought I'd tell you that your 'operative'," A sudden bitterness filled his voice at the word. "was successful. The Katinian Commander is temporarily incapacitated, and his second in command is scouting in his place. Soon she will be accounted for, like the others."

            Warren felt his anger fade at this news. "Excellent. Marcus has done an admirable job, just as always."

            "Oh, of course." The words were muttered, barely audible, but bobcats have remarkable hearing. Warren leveled a glare at the other.

            "Acrimony doesn't suit you, Alec. We never could have gotten this far without Marcus's help."

            "I know," the serval deadpanned. "But is that a good thing?"

            "What's not to be admired about this plan?" He gestured expansively in the dim office. "If all goes well, the Lylat system's economic structure will soon collapse and we'll be able to occupy it unopposed."

            "If it works."

            Golden eyes surveyed Alec from tufted fur. "It will work."

            ***

            Bill stared at the book sitting on his dresser. The book didn't do anything interesting. If he recalled he'd been right at the climax of it when he'd last put it down, and, since he was bedridden anyway, he wouldn't at all mind seeing what was going to happen. There was just one problem. His dresser was across the room. He was not.

            "I just know," he grumbled to himself. "The minute I get out of this bed, Sarah's gonna walk in and yell at me. I don't need the book. There are plenty of interesting things to…stare at…" Bill stared at the book again. "Oh, screw it." He threw back the covers and stood up. Sarah walked in.

            "What are you doing out of bed?!"

            "Aw. I knew it! Do you have some sort of sonar, or something?"

            Her hands were on her hips. "I distinctly told you to stay in bed."

            "I was just getting a book. You know, to read? I really didn't think that the minute I set foot on the floor, I was going to drop dead."

            "None of your excuses!"

            He rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy." Thinking better of his idea, the husky climbed back into bed. "In that case, could you get me my book?"

            "I'd be happy to, as long as you stay in bed." She walked over and handed it to him.

            "Thanks." He opened it up to read. Sarah still stood there. "Um…did you want something?"

            She smiled. "Actually, that's what I came in here to ask you. It can't be easy to stay in bed all day. Especially for you."

            "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

            "Oh, nothing. So, do you need anything?"

            "A cure?"

            "Don't get cute."

            He dimpled. "But I am cute."

            "Well, you don't look so hot right now."

            Bill straightened and felt his forehead. "That's funny. I feel hot. But no, since you asked; I've got my book. I'm fine, thanks."

            Sarah nodded and sent another commiserating smile his way. "In that case, I'll just get out of your hair. Remember, if you need anything, just call. Just DON'T…"

            "Get out of bed. I know."

            The ermine nodded crisply. "Good. Be sure you remember that." She turned and left, closing the door behind her.

            Bill lay back with a sigh. He was about to die from boredom. Well, at least he had his book. He opened it up again and started reading, but he couldn't concentrate on it. His mind kept drifting to a certain tawny lioness. Where was she right now? Had she run into any trouble with the Androssians? And why wasn't she back yet? How long had it been? He craned his neck to look at his clock when the door was flung open violently. Effy's voice broke the ensuing quiet, sounding terse and impatient.

            "Nothing's there." And the door slammed shut again.

            Bill stared. "Wow. That was…weird. Effy?!" He pushed back the covers and stood up, walking to the door and opening it to follow. Since she wasn't in his office, either, he continued on into the hall. Sarah was walking by, naturally.

            "Get back in bed," she ordered, not even slowing down.

            "Dammit." He took one more step out and she stopped and glared at him. He smiled winsomely and reentered his rooms. Okay. Plan B. He went back to bed, but snagged the phone off his desk on the way by. Bill pulled the covers back up irritably, and then dialed Effy's office extension.

            The phone clicked. "What?!" she snapped.

            "Uh…Effy?"

            "Who did you think it was? The Pope?"

            "Um…well, not unless I dialed a really wrong number."

            An annoyed sigh. "What do you want, Bill? I'm not in the mood."

            "Apparently. I just wanted to know if you ran into any trouble."

            "I told you I didn't."

            "Yeah, but you seem kinda…pissed off, and I wondered if there was a reason for it."

            "I don't know what you're talking about. Now, if you're quite done wasting my time, I have work to do." The line went dead.

            "But…since when has she ever minded my wasting her time? Hell, half the time, she wastes mine." Bill stared at the phone as if it had suddenly sprouted a pair of feet and started doing the Can Can. That just wasn't like Effy. Nowhere near it. The husky wondered if it was something he had done.

            **

            The next morning he was feeling infinitely better. Physically, at least. He was still worried about Effy, however. Bill felt he'd spent a good couple of days doing nothing but worry about Effy, and it was time he figured out what was what. The very thought made butterflies of nervousness dance around his still tender stomach, but Bill steeled himself against them. There was nothing to do but go talk to her again. He just hoped she wasn't as cranky as she had been yesterday afternoon.

            Bill got up (with a vague unfounded fear that Sarah was going to walk in again) and got dressed. He still felt a little lightheaded from his wayward illness, and so took things easy as he shuffled out into the corridor. He knocked on Effy's door, and waited for an answer. None came. So he knocked again. Still nothing. Bill was starting to get annoyed at the stupid door, when he noticed the little light on the panel was glowing red. Oh. She'd soundproofed her office. That's why she couldn't hear him. Wow, he must be lightheaded, not to have noticed. With a sheepish grin, he hit the button next to the light.

            "Hey, Effy? It's Bill. Can I come in?" Now she'd open the door so they could talk. Nothing happened. There was no reply. He hit the button again. "Uh…Effy? Hello?" Still nothing. Maybe she wasn't in there. But if not, then why would her office be soundproofed? There'd be no point in that. So he hit the button one more time. If he'd forced himself to talk to her about this, he wasn't going to let her avoid him. "Effy! Hey, Ef-mis. I know you're in there! Open up, I've got to talk to you." Still nothing, so he plowed on. "If you don't open this door, I'm going to start singing. Don't tempt me…you know I'll do it. First song…Mirror in the Bathroom." No reply. "Okay, you asked for it. Mirror in the Bathroom, bathroom, bath…"

            Her door was yanked open. "What?!" an exasperated Effy demanded.

            Bill blinked for a moment at the unexpected reply. That wasn't like Effy…but then, what was, these days? "Um…can I come in?"

            Exasperation was replaced by irritability. "Why? I'm busy."

            "Because I need to talk to you. In your office. Well, I mean, we could do it out here, but you probably don't want the entire hallway listening in on us." He raised his voice. "Isn't that right, Didi?"

            "I'm not listening! I didn't here a word you just said!"
            He rolled his eyes. "Even though she just answered me."

            "I know! But, after that, I'm not listening!"

            Bill looked at Effy. "See what I mean?"

            Effy shot a disgruntled look in Didi's direction, before turning her less than friendly gaze on him once again. She sighed. "All right. But make it quick."

            "Thanks." She moved aside just enough for him to squeeze by, making it clear that he wasn't really welcome. Bill stopped in the center of her office and glanced around. Piles of paper were scattered all over her desk and a number more were lying in crumpled heaps next to the wastepaper basket.

            "Wow. This is really…messy. For you, I mean," he said appreciatively. His friend was normally fastidiously neat.

            She just sighed again. "What did you want, Bill?"

            "Well…maybe I was wondering…if you were possessed by the devil, or something. Because you're acting very "un-Effycal."

            She stared at him for a moment. "First of all, that pun was stupid. Second, I have not been possessed by the devil, just by the irritation of having to work with a bunch of stupid morons who couldn't even pass a blood test if they had cheat sheets! Third, GO AWAY!" Clearly, she had lost all patience with him, but he decided to give it one more go.

            "But, I…"

            "GO!" And to prove her point, the lioness snatched a stapler off her desk and hurled it at his head. Bill ducked and backed out the door, which closed with a definite whoosh. He blinked at the closed structure for a moment in disbelief, and then slowly made his way to his own office, where he sat and blinked some more. There was something definitely strange going on here.

***

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