A/N: Most loyal fans, I believe I've kept you waiting long enough.
Readers: *snicker*
Me: SHUT UP!! Anyways, it took me so long to write this. My friends at school threatened to choke me if I didn't finish it soon. So here it is, the next chapter of my insanity. Read it and enjoy.
Readers: *snicker* Yeah right....
Me: WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?! EXACTLY, SHUT UP!!!
Readers: ...
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any PBS characters, I do not own Chris, Outlaw, Takui/Kurai, Ultima-Gombit, or Les. They own themselves. Yes, I got permission to use them. I do not own Tardy, the people who own "Greg the Bunny" do. I do not own Final Fantasy, or any of the characters, Squaresoft does. I do own Renoke, Alex, R.J., and Crazy. And last, if you are taking the time to read this entire thing, I pity you. ^__^ I am so mean, no?
________________________________________________________________
I AM THE SPORK!!
Chapter 6
Crazy: I'm bored....
Alex: Well, look on the bright side.
Crazy: And that is?
Alex: ...erm...the FF characters are awake.
Crazy: Is that a good thing?
( Chris runs in with Tardy on his head )
Chris: Hi. I came back. ^_^ Chickens!!
Tardy: ( falls off of Chris's head ) I made a smelly in my shelly! o_______________O
Crazy: *eye twitch*
Alex: O_o;
( A half-naked Squall and Tidus run in and hide behind Crazy and Alex )
Squall and Tidus: GET THEM AWAY FROM US!!!
Crazy: ...?
( Yuna and Rinoa run in )
Rinoa: SQUALLY-POO!! I wasn't done with you yet!
Yuna: Come back, Tidus honey!
Both: WE LOVE YOU!!! ( run out of the room )
Squall and Tidus: *cling to Crazy* Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
Crazy: ...O_O
Chris: LEAVE HER ALONE, INSANE PEOPLE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *pelts Squall and Tidus with chickens*
Squall: AHHHHHHH! RUN AWAY!
Tidus: THE DOOM OF THE CHICKENS WILL COME TO ALL!!! *runs around in circles*
Crazy: Er....
( Squall and Tidus run into each other, knocking each other out )
Crazy: *sweatdrop*
Renoke: *sigh* I miss R.J. If she were here, we would drag them away to the closet....
Crazy: You, of all people, MISS R.J.?
Renoke: *nods*
Chris: Who's R.J.?....IS SHE A CHICKEN?? ^______^
Crazy:....uh...not exactly.
( R.J. appears, with ??? next to her )
Crazy: Where the hell did you come from?!
R.J: A magical faerie whisked me away over the moon to the field of never-ending Italian sausage, where I learned the secrets of flight and butchery! Then, I flew away into the sunset of the northwest, never to be heard from again. THE END!! *raises arms in triumph*
Crazy: *blinks*
???: I found her passed out in a dumpster. She had tags, so I brought her here.
Crazy: Doumo arigatou gozaimasu. Who are you?
???: Your welcome. The name's Les.
R.J: No it's not....its Bob. ^__^
Les: No, it's Les.
R.J: Hi Bob!
Crazy: It doesn't matter. And where do you think you guys are going?! *notices that Cloud, Reno, Rufus, Rude, and Seifer are trying to sneak past her*
Cloud: uh.....We're going to a bar.
Seifer: Yeah...a bar. *wink*
Cloud: Yeah, that's it. *wink, wink*
Les: ...OH! I get it!...Can I come?
Cloud: Sure. Well,goodby, wegottago,seeyoulater,tata,byby! *all run out the door*
Alex: Did you understand that at all?
Crazy: ....nope.
ON THE WAY TO THE BAR
Cloud: Wow, that was close....we're almost there.
Seifer: If Fuujin finds out I ditched her, she'll kill me.
Les: Yeah, whatever....*sees a sign in the bar window* KARAOKE!! *runs in*
All: *shrug their shoulders and run in*
IN THE BAR
Cloud: Where did that guy go?
Seifer: Who cares?
Rufus: *walks up to the bar tender* Hey, we're here for the show. When's it going to start?
Bar tender: You're a little early. The stripper won't be here for another hour. Until then, we got karaoke and beer. Take your pick.
Rufus: *looks at the karaoke machine* Ugh....
Les: Alright! Karaoke!
Karaoke Dude: Pick a song.
Les: Hmmm...got any Nirvana songs?
K.D: Nir-who?
Les: Got any NIRVANA songs?
K.D: Nope, sorry.
Les: *eye twitch* Got any Nirvana songs?
K.D: Uh...no....
Les: Do you have any Nirvana songs or not?!
K.D: Dude, I already told you, no!
Les: *grabs guy around his neck* DO YOU HAVE ANY NIRVANA SONGS?!
K.D: NO! I DON'T!
Les: *starts to shake Karaoke Dude* WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME?!?!
K.D: I DID!
Les: TALK, DAMN YOU!!!
K.D: ALRIGHT! WE HAVE NIRVANA SONGS!!
Les: *stops shaking Karaoke Dude* Oh...well why didn't you say so?
K.D: *puts on Brittany Spears songs*
Les: *twitch* You evil bastard!!! *mauls K.D* Music or no music, I'M SINGING NIRVANA SONGS!! *starts to sing*
Reno: Oh god, make him stop!
Cloud: Please let the stripper get here early!!
Seifer: Maybe more beer will drown out his singing...
BACK TO WHEREVER WE WHERE BEFORE
Crazy: ...I'm out of ideas.
Alex: You know what that means, don't you?
Chris: Um...we get to visit the kingdom of the Chickens?
Tardy: We name our underwear?
Alex: No...a new character will be introduced shortly.
Tardy: You talk funny.
Renoke: Silence, impudent turtle, or I will rip out your heart and feed it to Cerberus.
Tardy: ...
Chris: ...
Both: CHICKENSSSSSS!!!!
???: SHUT UP!
Alex: What did I say? I knew a new character would come along any minute!
Crazy: Well...who is it?
Renoke: This is fantastic!!
Crazy: Who is it?
Tardy: It's a demon-lady-thing-a-ma-thing! *giggles*
???: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT A DEMON IS A LAUGHING MATTER, YOU IGNORANT TURTLE?!?!
Crazy: Oh no.....
Alex: It's...
Both: Takui and Kurai...*sigh*
Renoke: *back-hands Crazy* Show some respect!
Crazy: I'll show you respect, you little...
Takui: Ahem!
Crazy: Oh...right..I almost forgot about you. *looks around* Where's Kurai?
Takui: She went to kill that stupid turtle.
Alex: Oh shit! *runs off screen*
Takui: Where is she going?
Crazy: To protect Vincent.
Takui: Oh, right.
Crazy: ...
Takui: ...
( Run off screen after Alex )
AT THE BAR
Les: *still singing*
Cloud: *banging his head on the table* Make *bang* him *bang* stop! *bang*
Seifer: I dun' think this beer is working....
Bar tender: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *runs out of the bar screaming and laughing demonically*
All: .....
Rufus: Does that mean the show is cancelled?
Off-stage voice: No it doesn't boys!
Cloud: Thank God...the stripper is here!!!
Les: AW man! *walks off stage*
( everyone in the bar cheers and gets closer to the stage )
( sexy music starts to play )
All: *drool*
( stripper hidden by a towel dances onto the stage )
All: *DROOL*
( girl slowly turns around )
All: *DROOOOOOOL*
( And.....)
Cloud: O_O
Rufus: O.O
Reno: 0__0
Rude: O__O
Les: 0_O
Seifer: X_X
"Stripper": Hey, kids! Who's ready for some action?
Cloud: *twitch* Th-th-tha-tha-
Les: That's Ba-ba-bar-
Reno: Bar-ba-barn-barn-
Rude: ...
Rufus: Barn-barne-barne-BARNEY!!!
( Barney starts to pole dance and strip, while singing his theme song to the tune of the sexy music )
All: *twitch and fall out of their chairs, unconscious*
Barney: Ooh, I'm too sexy for these boys!!
ER.....BACK TO WHERE CRAZY IS
Crazy: ALEX! NO!
Takui: This is so stupid.
Alex: He's mine!
Kurai: He's mine!
Alex: He's mine!
Kurai: He's mine!
Both: GRRRRR!!
Crazy: Can't we settle this without dying and/or killing?
Both: NO!
Takui: The only thing they can agree on..oh well, I'm going to see Sephers! ^___^ OH SEPHY!!! *runs off screen looking for Sephiroth*
Crazy: Hmmm....guess I have to take care of you two....how bout we have a vote? Winner gets Vincent?
Kurai: Well I vote for me!
Alex: And I vote for me!
Both: *glare at Crazy* Who do you choose?
Crazy: *gulp* I'm going to need help...
BACK AT THE BAR
( Barney is still stripping when two more people walk in, Outlaw and Ultima-Gambit )
Outlaw: Woah. What the hell happened here? *sees Barney* O_O Oh my...
Ultima-Gambit: X____X *passes out*
Outlaw: ....FREE BEER!
Reno: *wakes up* Where?
BACK HOME IN THE LAND OF INSANITY
Crazy: ORDER! ORDER! Welcome FFVII Fan-Girls of the World. I have gathered you here to vote on who should have Vincent as their own. Kurai, the 2nd princess of the demon world, or Alex, my personal muse and bat-thingy.
Alex: *throws a rock at Crazy's head*
Kurai; *snickers*
Crazy: Ahem, ANYWAY, who votes for Kurai?
Fangirls: ....*50 raise their hands*
Crazy: For Alex?
Fangirls: ....*50 raise their hands*
Crazy: Damnit.
Anon. Fangirl: THIS SUCKS! VINCENT IS MINE!!
Kurai and Alex: DREAM ON BITCH!!! *attack anon. fangirl*
( A fight breaks out, between every and all of the fangirls )
Crazy: ORDER! ORDER! DAMNIT, WHEN I SAY ORDER, I MEAN IT!! *throws gavel at random fangirl*
( Takui appears in a puff of smoke, with Sephiroth )
Takui: How's it going?
Crazy: *glares at Takui*
Takui: *glares back*
Anon. Fangirl: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MY HAIR!! *runs around with her head on fire*
Kurai: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Alex: *chasing another fangirl with a flamethrower* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THINK YOU CAN OUTRUN ME, HUH?!
Kurai: *turns into her demon form and starts to kill every fangirl in her path* ROOOOOOAR!!
Crazy and Takui: OH SHIT! *run away*
Takui: *runs back, grabs Sephiroth, and runs away again*
( FF7 girls walk in )
Tifa: What the hell is going on?!
Aeris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *gets chased by Kurai*
Yuffie: *looks both ways suspiciously, then starts to steal from everyone who is either dead or unconscious*
BACK AT THE BAR
( all of the boys start to wake up )
Barney: Hey boys, the show isn't over yet!! *takes off the barney costume slowly revealing that all of this time the stripper was actually....*
Cloud: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!
Mr. Rogers: "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day in the neighbor. YEAH!! *starts to strip again*
All: O_O *run out of the bar screaming*
Mr. Rogers: Poor guys. Must be blind or something. Can't they see that I am the best they could ever get? Oh well...back to PBS I go.
BACK TO WHERE EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T HAPPENING AT THE BAR IS HAPPENING ^__^
Crazy: Takui, what should we do?
Takui: ...how should I know?
( boys come running up )
Cloud: IT WAS SO HORRIBLE!!!
Reno: MY EYES ARE BURNING!!
Crazy: What happened now?
Cloud: It was the..and then the..and there was...BIG dinosaur..then there was a BOOOOM!! And I saw...I saw..MR. ROGERS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs away sobbing and screaming*
Crazy: Er.......To be continued. O_o
Readers: *snicker*
Me: SHUT UP!! Anyways, it took me so long to write this. My friends at school threatened to choke me if I didn't finish it soon. So here it is, the next chapter of my insanity. Read it and enjoy.
Readers: *snicker* Yeah right....
Me: WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?! EXACTLY, SHUT UP!!!
Readers: ...
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any PBS characters, I do not own Chris, Outlaw, Takui/Kurai, Ultima-Gombit, or Les. They own themselves. Yes, I got permission to use them. I do not own Tardy, the people who own "Greg the Bunny" do. I do not own Final Fantasy, or any of the characters, Squaresoft does. I do own Renoke, Alex, R.J., and Crazy. And last, if you are taking the time to read this entire thing, I pity you. ^__^ I am so mean, no?
________________________________________________________________
I AM THE SPORK!!
Chapter 6
Crazy: I'm bored....
Alex: Well, look on the bright side.
Crazy: And that is?
Alex: ...erm...the FF characters are awake.
Crazy: Is that a good thing?
( Chris runs in with Tardy on his head )
Chris: Hi. I came back. ^_^ Chickens!!
Tardy: ( falls off of Chris's head ) I made a smelly in my shelly! o_______________O
Crazy: *eye twitch*
Alex: O_o;
( A half-naked Squall and Tidus run in and hide behind Crazy and Alex )
Squall and Tidus: GET THEM AWAY FROM US!!!
Crazy: ...?
( Yuna and Rinoa run in )
Rinoa: SQUALLY-POO!! I wasn't done with you yet!
Yuna: Come back, Tidus honey!
Both: WE LOVE YOU!!! ( run out of the room )
Squall and Tidus: *cling to Crazy* Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
Crazy: ...O_O
Chris: LEAVE HER ALONE, INSANE PEOPLE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *pelts Squall and Tidus with chickens*
Squall: AHHHHHHH! RUN AWAY!
Tidus: THE DOOM OF THE CHICKENS WILL COME TO ALL!!! *runs around in circles*
Crazy: Er....
( Squall and Tidus run into each other, knocking each other out )
Crazy: *sweatdrop*
Renoke: *sigh* I miss R.J. If she were here, we would drag them away to the closet....
Crazy: You, of all people, MISS R.J.?
Renoke: *nods*
Chris: Who's R.J.?....IS SHE A CHICKEN?? ^______^
Crazy:....uh...not exactly.
( R.J. appears, with ??? next to her )
Crazy: Where the hell did you come from?!
R.J: A magical faerie whisked me away over the moon to the field of never-ending Italian sausage, where I learned the secrets of flight and butchery! Then, I flew away into the sunset of the northwest, never to be heard from again. THE END!! *raises arms in triumph*
Crazy: *blinks*
???: I found her passed out in a dumpster. She had tags, so I brought her here.
Crazy: Doumo arigatou gozaimasu. Who are you?
???: Your welcome. The name's Les.
R.J: No it's not....its Bob. ^__^
Les: No, it's Les.
R.J: Hi Bob!
Crazy: It doesn't matter. And where do you think you guys are going?! *notices that Cloud, Reno, Rufus, Rude, and Seifer are trying to sneak past her*
Cloud: uh.....We're going to a bar.
Seifer: Yeah...a bar. *wink*
Cloud: Yeah, that's it. *wink, wink*
Les: ...OH! I get it!...Can I come?
Cloud: Sure. Well,goodby, wegottago,seeyoulater,tata,byby! *all run out the door*
Alex: Did you understand that at all?
Crazy: ....nope.
ON THE WAY TO THE BAR
Cloud: Wow, that was close....we're almost there.
Seifer: If Fuujin finds out I ditched her, she'll kill me.
Les: Yeah, whatever....*sees a sign in the bar window* KARAOKE!! *runs in*
All: *shrug their shoulders and run in*
IN THE BAR
Cloud: Where did that guy go?
Seifer: Who cares?
Rufus: *walks up to the bar tender* Hey, we're here for the show. When's it going to start?
Bar tender: You're a little early. The stripper won't be here for another hour. Until then, we got karaoke and beer. Take your pick.
Rufus: *looks at the karaoke machine* Ugh....
Les: Alright! Karaoke!
Karaoke Dude: Pick a song.
Les: Hmmm...got any Nirvana songs?
K.D: Nir-who?
Les: Got any NIRVANA songs?
K.D: Nope, sorry.
Les: *eye twitch* Got any Nirvana songs?
K.D: Uh...no....
Les: Do you have any Nirvana songs or not?!
K.D: Dude, I already told you, no!
Les: *grabs guy around his neck* DO YOU HAVE ANY NIRVANA SONGS?!
K.D: NO! I DON'T!
Les: *starts to shake Karaoke Dude* WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME?!?!
K.D: I DID!
Les: TALK, DAMN YOU!!!
K.D: ALRIGHT! WE HAVE NIRVANA SONGS!!
Les: *stops shaking Karaoke Dude* Oh...well why didn't you say so?
K.D: *puts on Brittany Spears songs*
Les: *twitch* You evil bastard!!! *mauls K.D* Music or no music, I'M SINGING NIRVANA SONGS!! *starts to sing*
Reno: Oh god, make him stop!
Cloud: Please let the stripper get here early!!
Seifer: Maybe more beer will drown out his singing...
BACK TO WHEREVER WE WHERE BEFORE
Crazy: ...I'm out of ideas.
Alex: You know what that means, don't you?
Chris: Um...we get to visit the kingdom of the Chickens?
Tardy: We name our underwear?
Alex: No...a new character will be introduced shortly.
Tardy: You talk funny.
Renoke: Silence, impudent turtle, or I will rip out your heart and feed it to Cerberus.
Tardy: ...
Chris: ...
Both: CHICKENSSSSSS!!!!
???: SHUT UP!
Alex: What did I say? I knew a new character would come along any minute!
Crazy: Well...who is it?
Renoke: This is fantastic!!
Crazy: Who is it?
Tardy: It's a demon-lady-thing-a-ma-thing! *giggles*
???: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT A DEMON IS A LAUGHING MATTER, YOU IGNORANT TURTLE?!?!
Crazy: Oh no.....
Alex: It's...
Both: Takui and Kurai...*sigh*
Renoke: *back-hands Crazy* Show some respect!
Crazy: I'll show you respect, you little...
Takui: Ahem!
Crazy: Oh...right..I almost forgot about you. *looks around* Where's Kurai?
Takui: She went to kill that stupid turtle.
Alex: Oh shit! *runs off screen*
Takui: Where is she going?
Crazy: To protect Vincent.
Takui: Oh, right.
Crazy: ...
Takui: ...
( Run off screen after Alex )
AT THE BAR
Les: *still singing*
Cloud: *banging his head on the table* Make *bang* him *bang* stop! *bang*
Seifer: I dun' think this beer is working....
Bar tender: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *runs out of the bar screaming and laughing demonically*
All: .....
Rufus: Does that mean the show is cancelled?
Off-stage voice: No it doesn't boys!
Cloud: Thank God...the stripper is here!!!
Les: AW man! *walks off stage*
( everyone in the bar cheers and gets closer to the stage )
( sexy music starts to play )
All: *drool*
( stripper hidden by a towel dances onto the stage )
All: *DROOL*
( girl slowly turns around )
All: *DROOOOOOOL*
( And.....)
Cloud: O_O
Rufus: O.O
Reno: 0__0
Rude: O__O
Les: 0_O
Seifer: X_X
"Stripper": Hey, kids! Who's ready for some action?
Cloud: *twitch* Th-th-tha-tha-
Les: That's Ba-ba-bar-
Reno: Bar-ba-barn-barn-
Rude: ...
Rufus: Barn-barne-barne-BARNEY!!!
( Barney starts to pole dance and strip, while singing his theme song to the tune of the sexy music )
All: *twitch and fall out of their chairs, unconscious*
Barney: Ooh, I'm too sexy for these boys!!
ER.....BACK TO WHERE CRAZY IS
Crazy: ALEX! NO!
Takui: This is so stupid.
Alex: He's mine!
Kurai: He's mine!
Alex: He's mine!
Kurai: He's mine!
Both: GRRRRR!!
Crazy: Can't we settle this without dying and/or killing?
Both: NO!
Takui: The only thing they can agree on..oh well, I'm going to see Sephers! ^___^ OH SEPHY!!! *runs off screen looking for Sephiroth*
Crazy: Hmmm....guess I have to take care of you two....how bout we have a vote? Winner gets Vincent?
Kurai: Well I vote for me!
Alex: And I vote for me!
Both: *glare at Crazy* Who do you choose?
Crazy: *gulp* I'm going to need help...
BACK AT THE BAR
( Barney is still stripping when two more people walk in, Outlaw and Ultima-Gambit )
Outlaw: Woah. What the hell happened here? *sees Barney* O_O Oh my...
Ultima-Gambit: X____X *passes out*
Outlaw: ....FREE BEER!
Reno: *wakes up* Where?
BACK HOME IN THE LAND OF INSANITY
Crazy: ORDER! ORDER! Welcome FFVII Fan-Girls of the World. I have gathered you here to vote on who should have Vincent as their own. Kurai, the 2nd princess of the demon world, or Alex, my personal muse and bat-thingy.
Alex: *throws a rock at Crazy's head*
Kurai; *snickers*
Crazy: Ahem, ANYWAY, who votes for Kurai?
Fangirls: ....*50 raise their hands*
Crazy: For Alex?
Fangirls: ....*50 raise their hands*
Crazy: Damnit.
Anon. Fangirl: THIS SUCKS! VINCENT IS MINE!!
Kurai and Alex: DREAM ON BITCH!!! *attack anon. fangirl*
( A fight breaks out, between every and all of the fangirls )
Crazy: ORDER! ORDER! DAMNIT, WHEN I SAY ORDER, I MEAN IT!! *throws gavel at random fangirl*
( Takui appears in a puff of smoke, with Sephiroth )
Takui: How's it going?
Crazy: *glares at Takui*
Takui: *glares back*
Anon. Fangirl: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MY HAIR!! *runs around with her head on fire*
Kurai: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Alex: *chasing another fangirl with a flamethrower* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THINK YOU CAN OUTRUN ME, HUH?!
Kurai: *turns into her demon form and starts to kill every fangirl in her path* ROOOOOOAR!!
Crazy and Takui: OH SHIT! *run away*
Takui: *runs back, grabs Sephiroth, and runs away again*
( FF7 girls walk in )
Tifa: What the hell is going on?!
Aeris: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *gets chased by Kurai*
Yuffie: *looks both ways suspiciously, then starts to steal from everyone who is either dead or unconscious*
BACK AT THE BAR
( all of the boys start to wake up )
Barney: Hey boys, the show isn't over yet!! *takes off the barney costume slowly revealing that all of this time the stripper was actually....*
Cloud: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!
Mr. Rogers: "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day in the neighbor. YEAH!! *starts to strip again*
All: O_O *run out of the bar screaming*
Mr. Rogers: Poor guys. Must be blind or something. Can't they see that I am the best they could ever get? Oh well...back to PBS I go.
BACK TO WHERE EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T HAPPENING AT THE BAR IS HAPPENING ^__^
Crazy: Takui, what should we do?
Takui: ...how should I know?
( boys come running up )
Cloud: IT WAS SO HORRIBLE!!!
Reno: MY EYES ARE BURNING!!
Crazy: What happened now?
Cloud: It was the..and then the..and there was...BIG dinosaur..then there was a BOOOOM!! And I saw...I saw..MR. ROGERS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs away sobbing and screaming*
Crazy: Er.......To be continued. O_o