Happily Ever After
Disclaimer: I disclaim all rights to ownership of Inuyasha and any characters therein.
_____________________________________________________________________
There was always that chance... that chance that it would end before it ever began... but still... Oh gods why did it have to happen…
It just wasn't fair! Not fair at all…
It wasn't that she didn't expect it, that it had came as a complete shock. No, it had always been a possibility. And it hadn't even been a possibility that had been locked away and ignored, no, it was something that had been brought out into the open countless times, something she faced everyday. The slight jangling of the prayer beads heard so often was enough of a reminder.
It had always simply been something she had just had to accept and hope for the best.
But now hope had let her down. Destiny had laughed at her, and fate had spit on her face.
The girl stood on the edge of a grassy cliff, a raging river some hundred feet below her.
Her bare feet dug into the warm ground, just before the drop off…
She leaned forward slightly, almost daring herself to jump…to fall…
She wanted to scream at the heavens, she wanted to get down on her knees and cry for her loss of everything, she wanted to laugh at how completely stupid and pointless it had all been…
….but most of all..
Most of all, she just wanted to fall…
Down, down , down…
Down until she felt the refreshing relief of the cold water below, followed by the perfectly blank feeling of nothingness that she had come to crave so much…
The young woman in the traditional taiji-ya attire crept forward just a little more, the tips of her toes hanging over the edge…
She could do it... easily, almost effortlessly, just one simple jump…or even just lean forward a little more…and then it would all be over…
Right now... that's all she really wanted, for it to all be over... because... right now... nothing really mattered anymore....
How could this be? Was this the same girl who had vowed to revenge her family? Was this the same girl who displayed so much confidence? So much determination and resolve?
It couldn't be... no…because the girl on the cliff looked nothing like that girl. The girl on the cliff was broken. Far more broken than that other girl had ever been. She was shattered.
It had happened. That damn Kazaana... that damn cursed Kazaana…
The houshi was gone…his curse had finally caught up with him…
Miroku…her Miroku, was dead.
What had happened to the ten or twenty kids they were supposed to have? What had happened to their life together after Naraku was dead and gone? What had happened to her future?!
A single tear made its way down the taiji-ya 's face, trailing down until it undoubtedly met the water so far below.
He had been dead for weeks now, but this was the first of her tears.
The stupid monk, he must have known it was over…running off one night, never to return…leaving that blasted note... The very note that the taiji-ya had crumpled in her fist.
How could he be so selfish? How could he just let himself die?! And leave her all alone? He was supposed to help them defeat Naraku! He was supposed to be the father of her children! He was supposed to be there for her!
It wasn't his fault. That much was obvious to her. But the truth didn't stop her from being angry at him. For, anger was so much easier on her soul than despair.
And she had found that anger, found it, grasped onto it, and hadn't let it go. Because, if she did, sorrow would take over, and if that had happened…things might have turned out even worse than they did.. if it could even get worse..
So she had held fast to her anger, and not shed a single tear.
Not a tear when she found the note laying up against the tree that the houshi had been sleeping under only hours before.
Not a tear when she read it's crushing, ominous words.
Not a tear even when she and the rest of the group came across the deep and wide indention in the earth not so many miles from their campsite that could only mean one thing.
No, she didn't cry, she didn't show a bit of emotion.. Even the anger she kept pent up inside.
She kept it all inside.. only nodding her head whenever her friends asked about her well being…
…only chalking another life up to her already long list of people she had to avenge…
Of course... Miroku wasn't just another person... he was her love…her life... her... dare she say it... soul mate?
And now he was gone..
The girl on the cliff smirked bitterly. That was the way it would be for her wasn't it? Finally coming to terms with the death of her family, finally finding someone she could love, finally letting herself love… and then.. having them taken away from her.. just like everything else in her life…
It was so depressing that even her anger charade hadn't been able to withstand it. Soon the anger had been replaced with an irreversible hurt that ate at her soul.
But she couldn't let her depression get in the way. No. She couldn't do that.
She had responsibilities.
She had to avenge him, she had to avenge her family, and she had to take care of her friends..
But now that was all taken care of..
They had defeated Naraku.. and she no longer had any friends to take care of.
Another tear fell.
It had only been five people fighting, rather than the usual six. The six, even the little kitsune, had given it their all.
…but the houshi was gone, and he had been a valuable asset to them..
Kagome had died in the fight. Never to return to her family again, her time… never to see her sixteenth birthday. It seemed so wrong.. she didn't even belong there.. she had no reason to be fighting Naraku other than for her friends… and yet.. she had died fighting him..
Her family would never know what had become of their little girl.
Had she abandoned them?
Had the well broke?
Or was she simply.. dead, technically before she had even been born ?
It really wasn't right.
She had been the first to go, perhaps it was because she just so happened to be the easiest target, or perhaps only because Naraku knew what effect that would have on Inuyasha.
The hanyou had been heart broken…. watching your soul mate be brutally slaughtered seems to have that affect on people. His fighting was impaired, and though, in the end he did defeat Naraku, it didn't bring back the girl he loved….
Shippo was gone too, the kitsune so young that he shouldn't have even been fighting in the first place, much less someone as powerful and cruel as Naraku…
Not even her little cat demon friend was left to keep her company, having died taking the blow that was actually meant for herself..…
But that wasn't enough for Naraku, he had had to twist the knife like always. He had killed Kohaku before her very eyes…
And that had left only herself and Inuyasha left over, the broken remains of something that once was... but now could never be…
She had comforted the hanyou as best she could, despite her own losses. It had taken him days just to burry her. She had suggested that it would be only proper that he go and tell her family what had happened. But her suggestion was only met with shame filled eyes, and perhaps a hint of fear. He blamed himself. He was supposed to protect her. So, in his eyes, he had let her down, he had let everyone down. How was he supposed to face her family?
She hadn't pressured him into changing his mind. It was his choice. She understood.
And with the defeat of Naraku, the Shikon no Tama had been restored to its natural shape. It seemed so strange, in the beginning that little sphere had been all that mattered, putting its pieces back together.. so that Inuyasha could use it to become a full youkai... but… somewhere along the way, the point had been lost, had changed.. the goal had became one of vengeance, one of virtue, and simply one to right what had been wronged.
Such a selfish goal had turned into a noble act of heroism.
It had actually been the girl on the cliff that mentioned it first, the jewel. What were they going to do with it? Their first attempt had been to try to see if it could bring their friends back, some hope still lingering on in their despair ridden hearts. But it had been to no avail. You can't bring back the dead. You can't undo what has been done. At least.. your not supposed to… but hadn't that been what Kagome had been doing all along? Fixing what had gone wrong with the past.. but had she really fixed it at all?
With the jewel unable to bring back their friends, it's once bright grandeur faded, and it had seemed useless, just an ordinary marble.
But Inuyasha had saw one option in it. One way to release his pain. He had turned himself into full youkai, just as he had originally planned, but for such different reasons…
originally he had wanted to do it for power... for acceptance... but now it had simply been because he wanted to forget them all…to forget everything.
He hadn't just gone and done it though, he had asked Sango first. He wasn't that selfish. If she wanted him as some kind of comfort, just to hold on to something left over, he was willing to give her that. But she had only nodded her head that it was alright. She didn't blame him, if she could have done it, she most certainly would have.
And now he roamed the earth, his soul more than likely long gone, not an ounce of his mentality remaining... his memory's shattered just like the jewel that had caused him so much pain.
That jewel.. it truly was cursed.
The taiji-ya yanked the necklace from her neck, really it was just a thin string with a pink marble strung to it. The jewel.
It was pink, a milky white pink. And it didn't glow, not anymore. It had been tainted by blood, hatred, jealousy, betrayal, and despair. Was it even pure at all anymore?
One thing was for sure, it wasn't at all fit to fall into the hands of.. anyone. But could she really stop that from happening? Someone was bound to find it somehow, someday. It was part of the curse, the only way to be rid of it, was to purify it.. and the chances of that happening seemed long gone now.
How had she inherited this responsibility. She didn't want it. She wasn't the protector of the jewel. This wasn't her duty, she had no right to decide what to do with it.
With that resolution, the young girl held her hand, with the jewel clasped inside, over the edge of the cliff. And then she released it.
There. Now that was gone. Maybe it would be found by someone who would know what to do with it.
And now everything was done, no more responsibilities... no more reasons to keep her from mourning..
And so she did... here on this cliff, she wept her tears, for her family, for her friends, for her love, but most of all for herself... and the life she could now never have…
Was this supposed to be her destiny? How could this be? They had done so much for the world. How could she deserve this?
So it seemed that they had been the heroes, the avengers, the little group that would save everyone but themselves… how was this fair?!
The pain of her losses was breaking her... each second that went by her soul crumpled even more. …what was she supposed to do now? She just wanted the pain to end..
The girl uncurled her fingers now, and, delicately, as if it might disintegrate from her touch, she brought the note she had held onto with her life out in front of her.
She slowly unfolded it…She could almost hear his voice in her ear as she read the words he had written in his skilled and graceful hand.
How many times had she read it now? Twenty? Thirty?... too many to count..
A small, almost frightening, laugh escaped her mouth as she reread it yet again... was this supposed to be his way of saying good bye?
Out of habit, her own lips parted ever so slightly as she read his words aloud in a harsh whisper, almost imitating his voice.
"I'm sorry my dear Sango…I'm sorry…"
She laughed yet again seemingly at something no one could see but herself... or perhaps she couldn't see it either..
"You know, I loved you, you idiot…."
The wind only swallowed her words.
She stared straight ahead over the water as she responded to his last words, wiping a stray tear from her cheek and pasting a fake smile on her face.
" I wish it could have ended differently… I'm sorry too… Miroku."
And then the taiji-ya was falling, falling away from her problems, falling away from her sorrow, falling away from her emotions…falling away from herself.
And perhaps saddest of all, as the crash was heard as she fell hard into the surface of the water, breaking it and sending up a large splash, was the fact that there was no one left to hear it.
Was this supposed to be her happily ever after?
No. Happily ever afters were for fairy tales, and that was something she had never considered her life to be.
This was simply.. the end..
-Owari-
****************
Well, I revised and reposted this, mainly because I'm rather fond of it.
Thanks for the review!
The Deity,
-Heather-