CHAPTER THREE: MIRACLES
Six months later (Beginning in the episode 'Flooded')The gang sat around the table at the magic box, Buffy standing just a little outside the circle. She had been back for nearly a month and still felt incredibly out of the circle. Plus, practically hating all the members of said circle really wasn't conducive to her feeling included.
But, they were her friends, and she could only really blame herself for not feeling part of the circle. She hadn't told them about where she had really been, though telling Spike had certainly been a load off her chest.
"This your guy?" Dawn asked, holding a book out towards Buffy so she could have a look at the picture.
"You do research now? Want a cappuccino and a pack of cigarettes to go with it?" Buffy asked sarcastically.
Dawn just rolled her eyes and continued holding the book out to her sister. "Would you just look at the picture?"
"Doesn't exactly fit the profile for your typical bank robber," Xander commented.
"Maybe they turned down his loan application," Buffy said, still a little angry that her application had been turned down. She still had no idea of how she was meant to pay the bills, keep food on the table, slay and somehow find a new job seeing as she couldn't go back to the Bronze. It was all far too much for her. "That's him. Big bad. This thing was strong guys. No weapons that I could see, but…"
She trailed off as she heard the bell above the door to the Magic Box sound.
"…still…real…dangerous."
The group turned to see what had caught her attention, fearing that it was the demon from earlier come to finish the job of killing the Slayer. Suffice it to say, they were considerably relieved when they saw Giles instead of the bank-robbing M'Fashnik.
Giles stared at his Slayer, his heart pounding in his chest. There she was, standing in front of him, confident as ever and taking charge of the group.
Buffy could only stare back at her Watcher, feeling her heart beginning to rise into her throat. She could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she blinked them back.
Giles put his suitcases down and began walking towards her, Buffy meeting him halfway. They stood there, standing face-to-face as though neither one could believe that the other was truly there.
"Oh God, Buffy," he whispered.
He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. She hugged him back, pulling him as close to her as she could get him. She closed her eyes, just savouring the feel of him.
"You're alive. You're here. And you're still…remarkably strong," he said, happily, a little laugh in his voice.
Willow smiled in the background, happy to hear a laugh coming from Giles. It had been far too long since she had seen him smile let alone laugh. She knew she'd done good.
"Huh? Oh. Sorry," she said, reluctantly letting him go. She stepped back, still marvelling at his presence. She hadn't realised how much she was missing him until she saw him standing in front of her. It was as though a part of her soul had re-entered the room when he had walked in.
"Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe…" he admitted.
"I take a little getting used to. I'm still getting used to me," Buffy said, almost having forgotten that she wasn't entirely happy to be back here, alive. With Giles here it almost seemed as though it was possible to get better.
"It's, uh…you're…"
She smiled at his stuttering. The word-smith himself was dumbstruck.
"A miracle?" she asked, half-teasing.
"Yes. But then, I always thought so," he said. He brought his hand to her cheek, just wanting to touch her to assure himself that she was indeed standing in front of him.
She smiled, thinking that just having him here made everything seem so much easier. Behind them, Xander coughed a little, unsure of what to make of the emotional display in front of him.
Giles stepped back, suddenly self-conscious of the intimate moment he had shared with his Slayer in front of a room full of people. He went slightly red and watched as Buffy just closed her eyes and sighed. He knew he needed to talk to her alone.
~*~
"So," Giles said, hating the awkward silence that was hovering between himself and his Slayer. He gave the punching bag a half-hearted tap and looked at her.
"I can start," she offered, sitting down on the small green couch. "How was England? How was…life?"
"Uh, I'm not really sure how to answer that. Um, well, I arrived home, I, uh, met with the Council," Giles said.
He didn't notice Buffy start when he referred to England as home. She tried to cover it up. "Always a good time."
"Yes. Otherwise, there's, uh, nothing really to report. I, um, I keep a flat in Bath. I, I, uh, met with a few old friends. Almost made a new one, which I think is…statistically impossible for a man of my age," he said lightly. He took off his jacket, his body becoming unbearably hot due to his nervousness.
What exactly does one say to the girl you had buried over five months ago without it sounding overly clichéd.
"And now you're back," Buffy stated.
"Yes."
"Wow Giles, are you miserable about it, or just really British?" she asked, more than half serious.
He took off his glasses out of habit and missed Buffy's half smile at his movements. "I can't lie to you, Buffy," he said, sitting beside her on the couch. "Leaving Sunnydale was, uh, was difficult. And, uh, coming back was…"
"I'm guessing the word is 'inconvenient'?" she asked sadly.
"No," he said, a note of absoluteness in his voice. "Bewildering."
She looked down, not wanting to see the sheer volume of emotion in her Watcher's eyes. She sighed as she felt his hand on her shoulder. Instinctively, she leant into him, wishing that his comforting gesture could take away all of her pain.
"And how are you? Really? You look tired," he said, his eyes imploring her to tell him the truth.
She very nearly did, holding back only because she had seen the look of complete happiness when she had first seen him. She didn't want to detract from that. He deserved to be happy about something, and even if she wasn't happy about being back, she could be happy for his happiness.
"Me? Nah. Fine," she said, hoping to sound convincing but failing miserably.
Giles just looked at her, and she felt her heart catch in her chest. She had missed that look.
"I mean, yeah, you know, sleeping's hard, but…just because of the whole waking up in a box thing. So maybe waking up's the problem. You know, but just for a second. I sleep okay. Great even. Except, you know, for the dreams…" she trailed off, not wanting to think about them. She quickly changed the topic, hoping he wouldn't question her on the constant nightmares she had been having. "And everything seems so different now."
He looked at her, a little confused. "Different? How?"
She gave a small shrug. "Well…the house for one. Will and Tara are there. Dawn's taller than I am now, and…I'm completely broke. And…and you. You're…not exactly around."
He placed his hand back on her cheek. "I'm back permanently Buffy."
"Thank you," she whispered.
He nodded and removed his hand reluctantly.
"I could uh…I could go and speak to Phil at the Bronze if you'd like. See if we can get you're old job back," he said gently.
She looked up, startled. "You know about the Bronze?"
He nodded and she looked away, ashamed that she had never told him the whole truth about her activities.
"And about your letters to Faith," he said.
Her jaw almost dropped and she went to apologise. He held a hand up, indicating that it wasn't necessary.
"You don't owe me any explanations Buffy. Or any apologies. You…you did the right thing by contacting her."
Buffy nodded, feeling a little relieved that he wasn't going to lecture her.
"I've tried to get in touch with her…since I got back," Buffy admitted. "But, the uh…the letters kept coming back."
Giles blanched, having almost completely forgotten about Faith's suicide.
Buffy saw the look of dismay pass over his face and she immediately felt her heart sink.
"What? What is it?" she asked.
"About…about Faith," he began slowly, not entirely certain of how she would react. She looked at him, prompting him to continue. "She uh…she passed away Buffy."
She looked at him, wide-eyed. "What? When?" If she hadn't have been sitting down already, she would have fallen from the weight of his words.
Giles could see the absolute shock and pain that flashed through his Slayer's eyes. Even though it was hurt he saw, it was better than the emptiness of earlier.
"Nearly six months ago. The uh…the day that you died, she uh…she killed herself that evening," Giles said softly.
"Oh my god," Buffy whispered.
Giles took hold of her hand and gave it a small squeeze. She didn't pull away, nor flinch at his touch. He watched as a tear fell from her eyes, leaving a small wet trail on her cheeks.
"She uh…she left a note, and, uh…she gave all of your letters to me as well. She uh…she said I could read them," Giles said.
Buffy could feel herself going red at the thought of what was in some of those letters.
"Giles-" she started, not even certain of how to explain what she had been writing to Faith about for over 16 months.
He shook his head and lifted a hand to her face. "You don't have to explain anything to me Buffy. You don't have to say or do anything, alright?"
She nodded dumbly, still unable to get over Faith's suicide.
"Did uh…did she say why?" Buffy asked after a few moments of silence.
Giles nodded and stood up. "I have her note and uh…everything else that she gave me in my suitcase," he said.
She breathed out slowly and accepted his hand to help her up. They walked out to the show floor of the Magic Box only to find it empty.
"Where'd the others go?" Buffy asked.
Giles shrugged as he bent down to pick up his suitcase. "Perhaps they realised that we had a considerable amount to discuss."
Buffy nodded and sat in one of the chairs near the table. Giles walked over, shoebox in hand and placed it in front of her. She touched the worn out box gently, almost as though she feared it would disintegrate by even the slightest bit of handling.
Giles saw her hesitation and opened the box for her. She almost gasped when she saw how many letters were stacked neatly in the box. She hadn't realised how often they had been writing to each other. She herself had kept everyone of Faith's letters, though they had been stashed in a larger box, and didn't seem to be as many.
Giles took out the small folded paper that had been addressed to him and handed it to Buffy. She read it silently, tears slipping down her cheeks.
"I can't believe she would do that," Buffy whispered after a moment.
Giles nodded and sat down in a seat next to her. "It was rather…unexpected."
Buffy looked up at him, wondering if he had meant that as a cutting comment towards her. When she saw no accusation in his eyes, she knew it wasn't what he had intended.
"I should have told you. About the letters. And the job," Buffy admitted softly. "I'm sorry."
"Please, don't feel as though you have to apologise to me. It, uh…it made perfect sense after a little bit of thought," Giles said.
Buffy nodded gratefully and looked away from her Watcher. After a moment she looked up again.
"That means there's a new Slayer then, doesn't it?" Buffy asked.
Giles nodded and cleared his throat. "She uh…she hasn't been sent to the hellmouth yet, so…I haven't met her. The…the Council weren't entirely…forthcoming with their information regarding the new Slayer except that she's a young Australian girl. Quite frankly, I didn't really want to know at the time."
Buffy sighed and sat back in her chair, trying to sort out all of this new information.
She looked over at Giles and suddenly smiled. "I missed you," she said.
He smiled widely and gave a half-laugh. "To say that I missed you as well would be an incredible understatement."
She smiled and stood up. "Can I…I mean, do you mind if I…" she gestured to the box and he smiled, giving her a small nod.
"Go ahead," he said.
She nodded gratefully and replaced the lid. She turned to leave but stopped, turning back to him. She leant down and hugged him tightly once more, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.
"I'm glad you're back," she said honestly.
He smiled widely and stood up to give her a proper hug. "It is so good to see you again Buffy. When Willow called, I…I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."
She shook her head, telling him to not ever give it a second thought. "You had life stuff to deal with. And you're here now. Thank you."
"You're extremely welcome," he replied, smiling broadly.
She gave a parting grin and walked out, leaving Giles staring at her back in amazement.