CHAPTER SIXTEEN: SOB STORIES

Buffy stripped off her blouse, putting on an over size t-shirt and a pair of satin boxer shorts.  She slipped in beside Giles silently, hoping that she didn't wake him up.  He stirred a little.

"Buffy?" he murmured quietly.

She smiled and shifted herself closer to him, placing his arm over her stomach.

"You expecting someone else?" she whispered, a smile on her face.

He grunted a 'no' and held onto her tightly.  She leant her back into his stomach and felt her entire body relax against him, just enjoying the feeling of his arms around her.

"Everything alright with Willow?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah.  Things aren't great, but…we're getting there.  Haven't told her about the whole, not in hell thing yet, but…we sorted some stuff out," she explained.

He smiled sleepily and leant his face into the crook of her neck.

"That's good," he whispered. 

"Rik dusted her Watcher," Buffy whispered.

That woke Giles up completely.  His eyes shot open and he found himself holding onto his Slayer a little more tightly.

"Is she alright?" he asked.

Buffy shook her head sadly.  "She's bunking on the couch tonight.  She's…really upset about it.  I uh…volunteered you for some major ice cream expenditure on our behalf.  Told her that she and I could swap sob stories tomorrow."

Giles smiled and gently kissed her shoulder.

"Very generous of you to volunteer my services," he whispered, trying to sound mad, though the sleep in his voice made it hard to do.

She smiled and snuggled in closer to him.  "I thought so," she said quietly.  "You should go to sleep before you get grumpy."

He smiled, vaguely remembering her calling him that the night before.  He closed his eyes once more, his thoughts filled with Buffy and the realisation that she was here, with him, in his bed –hers technically- in his arms.  Life was pretty good.

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The two Slayers were set up on the couch in the Summers living room, neither of them feeling up to going to classes.  Dawn was at school, Giles was teaching at UC Sunnydale and Tara had left for college earlier that morning.

With a blanket covering the both of them on the couch as well as a tub of double chocolate fudge ice cream, they were both feeling completely at ease.

Buffy grinned at her new Slaying partner, a little amazed at how different Erika seemed from both Kendra and Faith.

Kendra had obviously been brought up in a strict patrolling environment, taught from the very beginning that slaying was life and that was all there was to it.  Her style had been almost flawless, but like Buffy had pointed out, there was no fire, no imagination behind it.

Faith had a little too much fire.  Her passion for blood and violence had spiralled out of control far too quickly for Buffy's liking, and the price to pay was a coma, seven months and counting.  Not to mention the subsequent jailing and then the eventual suicide.  But Faith had realised her wrongs, had apologised for them, and had been working at redemption until she had heard about Buffy's death.  Then she had given the world a Slayer who could actually do something besides sit in a jail jell for the rest of her life.

Erika, though, seemed to be a lot like Buffy.  There was passion and fire, and perhaps a reluctance to be back into the slaying. 

Giles had seen the similarities immediately between them.  He could still remember the sixteen-year-old Buffy telling him that she wasn't the Slayer anymore, that she wanted nothing to do with vampires, demons and the forces of darkness.

Erika was still laughing at Buffy, her sides beginning to ache.  Their sharing sob stories had started out with light hearted anecdotes about some of the funnier slayages that Buffy had to contend with.  Buffy grinned and poked Erika in the sides.

"It's not that funny," she said, her teeth gritted, barely containing a smile.

Erika just laughed even harder.  "Yes, it is," she managed to pant out between her laughter.  "You and Spike?  Engaged?  Oh man, I wish I coulda seen that."

Buffy just grinned, glad that Erika wasn't the sobbing mess that she had been the night before.  Even if the laughter was directed at the blonde Slayer, it was better than the moping of earlier.

"Alright, stop it," Buffy said forcefully.  "You're funniest moment?"

Erika thought about it for a moment.

"Uh…probably trying to explain to the Principal why I was straddling the new history teacher in the gym after school," Erika said with a grin.

Buffy smiled, remembering how worried she had always been when she and Giles had been training in the library.  She had always been amazed that no students ever seemed to go in there.  Sometimes the group tended to forget completely that there little haven was the school library.

"Smoochies or training?" Buffy asked.

"Both," Erika answered easily.

Buffy just shook her head.  She could imagine how that could have happened.  There had been times when she and Giles had been tangled up on the floor, too breathless to move.  The adrenaline pumping through her had always made her think crazy thoughts, which didn't seem so crazy nowadays.

"Hardest kill?" Erika asked.  "Physically, not emotionally," she added.

Buffy thought for a moment then snapped her fingers.

"This human cyborg thing.  It was this Frankenstein thing gone horribly wrong.  It took this completely weird spell that combined Giles and Will's and Xander's essences with mine so that we could defeat it.  Weird, but very, very cool," Buffy explained.  "Yours?"

"Vampire named Jack Sampson.  He was so annoying.  Like stalker annoying.  He's the one…I mean…he's the vamp that…that killed Ryan," she said quietly.

Buffy nodded, silently telling her to continue if she wanted to or stop if she had to.

"He was the vamp master guy in Sydney.  He was convinced that he was gonna take over the whole city by the end of the year.  He was good, terrific fighter.  As much as I hate to admit it, a lot of my moves, I learned from fighting him.  I've only been the Slayer for six months and…fighting a master is…kinda difficult," Erika said.

Buffy nodded her agreement.  "I know what you mean."

Erika tilted her head to the side inquisitively.  "How many masters you faced?"

"Uh…let's see…Lothos, the guy who killed my first Watcher…the Master, the guy who killed me, hence why there's two Slayers.  Uh…Spike, but he's not dead so he doesn't really count, Drusilla, but she was nuts and she's still around.  Angelus, sword through the heart and into some swirling hell dimension.  Uh…and that's about it."

"Angelus?  I though he had a soul," Erika commented.

Buffy looked away.  She wasn't quite over Angel's death even though she was over Angel himself.  To think that she had sent the man she had loved at once stage to an unknown level of hell for what would have been the equivalent to one hundred years hurt her more than she cared to admit. It still hurt to think about him, still hurt to remember that she had killed him when he had his soul.  She sighed, wondering how she could possibly explain having a relationship with a vampire when she was the Slayer.

"Uh…he does.   He can kinda…lose it."

"Uh…just for future reference in case I ever meet another vamp with a soul…how?"

Buffy hesitated, but decided that her fellow Slayer needed to know the truth.  And she would probably find out anyway, so it would be better coming from herself, rather than from Xander.

"A moment of pure happiness.  When he's not feeling guilty for the demon's murders."

"Uh huh," Erika said slowly, not entirely understanding how that worked.  "I'm assuming there's a pretty long back story to this."

Buffy sighed and once again, began to tell the saga of Buffy and Angel.

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"So, you and Angel, making with the smoochies, and then, bam…he loses his soul.  Goes nuts, tries to kill all your mates and tortures your…our Watcher, and then he managed to get his soul back just before you were about to kill him, but you had to anyway," Rik said, trying to sum up in under fifty words what it had taken Buffy half an hour to explain.

"That's about it," Buffy said.

Rik nodded slowly, trying to comprehend what that must have been like.  To have to kill Angel just as he was given his soul back. 

"Ouch," she commented quietly.

Buffy grinned a little at that and went back to attacking the half melted ice cream.

"You can say that again," Buffy agreed.

"Ouch," Rik repeated with a grin.

Buffy laughed and flicked some of her melted ice cream at the other Slayer who just good naturedly licked it off her arm where it had landed.

They were both silent for a minute, contemplating what they had lost by being called as the Slayers. 

"You're really lucky, you know that," Rik said quietly.

Buffy smiled, thinking she meant because of Giles being alive and with her.

"Yeah, I know."

"You've got these great friends who know about the slayage.  I mean, from the sounds of it, they actually got a helluva lot stronger because they knew about it," Rik said, tears in her eyes.

Buffy sighed, remembering how the rejection felt when people found out about what she really did.  Willow and Xander had been terrific from the beginning, although Xander had needed a little convincing about the whole thing.  After that, he had put his heart into it completely.

"You're friends didn't understand?" Buffy asked.

"Well, that's not entirely true.  One of them did, but after…I didn't wanna risk getting any of them hurt.  I mean, you said that Xander and Willow were the first ones to find out and they've stuck by your side for six years…I couldn't even get my friends who I've known for the last ten years to stick by me when I found out."

"You said one of them did…what happened to her…or him?" Buffy asked.

"Her.  Katiana or Kat for short.  She was…she was there the whole time," Erika said thoughtfully.  She laughed a little.  "She actually found out by saving my arse.  She saved me so many times after that.  Not just from being killed by a vampire or a demon or anything, but…she saved me from…insanity."

Buffy grinned at that.  She wouldn't be able to count how many times the guys had bailed her out, had helped her when she had needed it.  She couldn't imagine having to work alone.  Plus, the support network that she had built up was incredible.  Their friendship meant more than anything, and even though it was still a little tentative between them at the moment, she still didn't want to lose them completely from her life.

"What happened?"

"Well, I kinda had to explain why the guy she had thrown off me had exploded into dust when I stuck a stake in his heart.  She was…thrown to say the least.  I expected her to freak, just walk out of my life and think I was nuts, but…she calmly walked over to the nearest seat and sat down, held my hand, and made me explain everything.  And I mean everything.  How I felt about being the Slayer, what I had to do, how it all worked, how she could help me out, she was…she was terrific."

Buffy could feel that something bad had happened to this friend of Rik's and she felt the far too familiar knot begin in her stomach.

"What happened?"

"She uh…she convinced Ryan to start training her as well, just the basics of self defence so she could hold her own.  Ryan was really hesitant about it, but…Kat was pretty convincing.  And she could fight too.  I mean…she didn't have the whole strength and speed thing going for her, but…she could hold her own," Rik explained.

Buffy just nodded, waiting to see where this was going.  She could already see tears in Rik's eyes, which automatically signalled that this story wouldn't end well.

"She came patrolling with me, every night.  Ryan didn't want her too, but…she pulled him aside and said something to him, and he agreed.  I still don't know what she said to make him agree to it."

"Probably something pretty similar to what the Gang told Giles that got him to let them come with me.  They were too involved and they weren't gonna let me fight alone.  That they wouldn't let me die alone," Buffy said.

Rik grinned, knowing that the other Slayer was probably right.  It sounded like something Kat would have said.

"One night, we got surrounded by this big group.  Fifteen vamps in all.  We'd been working together for about three months by then.  We'd just been fooling around, chatting and laughing, having a pretty alright night, y'know.  And then these guys just circle us and…I knew that I wasn't getting out of there alive," Rik said, swallowing hard at the memories.  She tried to blink back tears before she continued.

"We got the group down to about six of them, but they were really confused.  They didn't know which one of us was the Slayer, and they were holding both of us so we couldn't move.  They started dragging us back and Kat looked at me panicked and cried out for them to stop, and…surprisingly enough they did."

"Stop!"

The vamps stopped walking and looked impatiently at the girl they were holding.

"What?"

"Your Master wants the Slayer right?" Kat asked.

The vamps just looked at her blankly and then nodded.

"Then let my friend go and I'll come without a fight," she said.

Rik looked up at her, wild-eyed.  "Kat, no!"

Kat just smiled at her best friend and gave a reassuring nod.

"The world needs at least one of us."

The vamps threw Rik to the ground and ran off at a pace too quick even for the true Slayer to follow at. 

Buffy swallowed hard, tears in her own eyes.  Rik was already crying softly at the memories. 

"She loved you," Buffy said softly.

Rik nodded, already knowing that.  "She did.  Me, Kat and Ami, we did everything together.  When…when Kat was taken, I…I couldn't forgive myself, even though I knew it hadn't been my fault.  But it should have been me to offer my life for hers.  She shouldn't have gone instead of me."

Buffy smiled and took Rik's hand, a gesture that reminded the taller girl of her friend who had given up her own life so that Rik could live.  Buffy was suddenly reminded of what she had done for her sister, giving up her life so that her sister could live.  The moment of clarity she had felt before her death had been calming, soothing, almost like she already knew that the end would only bring peace.

"She gave her life so you could live yours," Buffy said quietly.  "She wouldn't want for you to think, 'what if' or 'if only'.  It's not helpful to anyone, especially not to you.  She gave you a gift, and…she gave it to you freely."

Rik looked up at her doubtfully.

"Hey, I know my stuff," Buffy assured her.

"How?"

Buffy just smiled gently.  "Cos I died in my sister's place.  I gave my life freely so she could have hers.  And I didn't ask for anything in return.  Your friend did the same for you.  She died so you wouldn't have to."

Rik sniffled and nodded a little, knowing in her head that these things were true.  But her heart was still sad, still aching for her best friend. 

"What about your other friend?  Ami?  What happened to her?" Buffy asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

Rik looked down, remembering what had happened when Kat's disappearance had got around the school.

"Ami didn't know any of it.  Kat thought that we owed it to her to tell her, so at least she would be able to defend herself if anything happened.  Kat was…she was better at the talking thing than I was.  She knew what to say and when to say it, which was good," Rik said.  She laughed suddenly. 

"We hired out all these vampire movies," Rik continued.  "Dracula, Blade, Interview with a Vampire.  I knew what she was doing.  They started this debate as to whether or not vampires were real.  She was testing Ami, seeing if she would be ready for it, seeing if she had the capacity to believe.  But…she didn't.  When Kat asked if Ami thought that vamps were real, she just shot her down.  And I knew it would be a lost cause.  We didn't try again after that."

Buffy just stayed quiet, wondering how it all ended.

"Anyways, me and Kat got closer, and…we just sorta drifted away from Ami.  We didn't mean to, but…she kinda let us go.  Then…when Kat disappeared, I…I shut down.  Distanced myself completely from Ami even though she was hurting too.  She wanted us to be friends again, but…I couldn't do it.  I couldn't open up that side of my life to anyone ever again.  So…I latched more onto Ryan which ended up being good until bloody Jack Sampson happened."

Buffy managed a small smile and put the spoon for her ice cream on the table, the empty carton sitting on the floor beside her bare foot.

"You've been the Slayer for what?  Six months?  It sounds like you've had about as much bad stuff happen as I have, and I've been doing this for six years.  It can't have been easy," the blonde Slayer said quietly.

"It never is."

~*~

It was well past three thirty when the front door to the Summers house opened, both Slayers, still on the couch, looked up in unison.

Dawn Summers walked in, her backpack slung over one shoulder and one of her hands lost within the grip of another hand.  Buffy's eyes widened with shock but she immediately got a hold of herself.  She had promised herself that if and when Dawn started showing an interest in boys, she wouldn't be the embarrassing mom who forbade their children to do anything.

Buffy and Angel had snuck around for nearly a year before Joyce had even found out about their relationship, something that Angelus had thrown in Joyce's face to hurt her.  And it had worked.  Buffy learnt the hard way about secrets and the damage they caused, and had passed that lesson on to Dawn.

Dawn and the teenage boy immediately let their hands drop when they realised they had an audience, the fifteen year olds turning a bright shade of red.  Buffy bit back a grin at the embarrassment and stood up, letting the blanket on her lap fall to the floor.

"Hey Dawnie," Buffy greeted.  She smiled at the brown haired boy whose hair fell in his eyes and she stuck out her hand politely.

"I'm Buffy Summers, Dawn's sister," she said.

Dawn almost let out a sigh of relief when she realised her sister wasn't about to throw a tantrum in front of her…boyfriend?  She certainly hoped that's what he was.

"Nice to meet you Buffy," he replied, shaking Buffy's hand.  Buffy immediately noticed that he was profusely nervous, his palms distinctively sweaty.  "I'm Kevin."

"Are you gonna be home for dinner tonight?" Buffy asked, directing her gaze to her sister.  There was a mischievous glint in her eyes and Dawn's face lit up. 

It was almost as though they were two years back, when Joyce had still been alive.  Dawn always covered for Buffy and Buffy always covered for Dawn.  Except now they didn't have to cover anything from any parental figures.  Still…Dawn thought it was nice that Buffy was trying for normality.

"I was kinda gonna ask you about that actually," Dawn began nervously.

Buffy grinned and just nodded her head before her sister rambled out a question.

"Home by eleven thirty, okay?" she said.

Dawn's eyes widened, completely shocked.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

Buffy just nodded and almost stumbled backwards when Dawn flung herself into her sister's arms.  If it weren't for Slayer reflexes, they would have been a tangled mess on the floor of the entry.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Dawn squealed.

Kevin watched the entire display with amusement clearly on his face.  He had only ever seen the older Summers girl once, when Buffy had come to the school to inform Dawn that their mother had died.  But now, she looked so different.  There was light in her eyes, her face smiling.  The difference was so stark, he almost wondered whether or not they were the same person.

Dawn stepped out of the hug, and grabbed Kevin's hand again, dragging him up the stairs, leaving Buffy shaking her head and smiling.  It was nice to see Dawn actually smile, and even though Buffy felt that Dawn was a little too young to be dating, it was obvious that there was chemistry between the two teenagers.

Buffy went back into the living room and sat down beside her fellow Slayer who just grinned.

"She always that hyperactive?" Rik asked.

"Nah," Buffy replied.  "It's usually far worse."

The front door opened again and once more, the Slayers turned as one to see who had entered.  Buffy felt her heart almost stop as she saw Tara hesitantly step inside.

"Tara," Buffy said, her voice suddenly becoming almost an octave higher than it should have been.

Tara half-smiled and made her way into the living room, sitting on the single sofa across from where the two Slayers were sprawled on the couch.

"Hey guys.  You uh…h-h-haven't seen Willow around have you?" she asked quietly.

Erika shook her head, but Buffy nodded slowly. 

"She uh…she went back to her parent's place.  I went and spoke with her last night, but…she didn't say anything about coming back here," Buffy explained gently.

Tara nodded, a frown working it's way onto her face.

"I uh…I just wanted to come and uh…pack up my stuff.  You know…just move everything back to the dorms," the blonde witch said quietly.

"Tara no!  You don't have to move out.  I mean…unless you actually want to but…I love having you here.  This is your home as much as it is mine.  I mean…you stayed here for six months to look after my kid sister, and…you're family," Buffy said.

Tara smiled at that.  She remembered when her family had tried to come and take her back home when she had turned twenty, but Buffy and the others had fought for her to stay in Sunnydale.  She had learnt that the Scooby Gang was her true family.  That blood wasn't always thicker than water.

"Thank you," Tara whispered, truly grateful that Buffy felt that way.  She did enjoy staying at the Summers' home, there was such a sense of family in the house that she didn't want to leave and go back to the dorm rooms.  But, she had thought about it all night and had come to her decision.  She wasn't about to back down now.

"I've…I've given it a l-l-lot of thought," Tara said.  "And, Willow and I had talked about what would happen if the s-s-spell worked.  And we were gonna move back to the dorms together when you got back.  I mean…if you didn't need us around the house.  And you don't really need us around, so…I'm gonna go."

Buffy nodded slowly, really not wanting to lose Tara and Willow from her household, even though she knew that neither of them were ever going to live with her again. 

"Well…I can't really stop you, but…I don't want you leaving just cos of what's happening between you and Will.  You're always welcome here, always, okay?" Buffy said.

Tara nodded, a smile coming to her face, tears in her eyes.  Buffy stood up and walked over to where the blonde witch sat, giving the girl an awkward hug until Tara stood up and returned it ardently.

"I…I hate to ask but…"

"We'll give you a hand," Buffy finished.  Tara smiled thankfully and watched as Buffy held a hand out to Rik who immediately took it and was pulled to her feet, trying, unsuccessfully not to get caught up in the blanket.

She grinned, a little embarrassed at her lack of co-ordination and threw the offending blanket to the ground.

"Gotta love a Slayer who can defeat Master vamps, but has trouble when it comes to getting up off the couch," Rik said with a smile, following the two older girls up the stairs.

"Don't worry, I've had some totally clutzy moments as well," Buffy replied.

"Example?"

"Oooo, far too embarrassing to mention," Buffy replied with a grin.

Tara hid her smile as she listened to the Slayers talking.  She had seen a complete turnaround in Buffy's mood ever since Buffy and Giles had got together and even more of an improvement when Buffy and Erika had begun getting to know each other.  And it had only been a day.  Things could only get better.

"Oh come on.  You're talking to the Queen of embarrassing stories here," Rik replied.

"Well…one of my non-shining moments.  I purposely gave myself a temperature of a hundred and seven a couple years bag.  Drank a glass of water with a virus in it."

"Wait…a hundred and seven that's like…geez, that's like forty two degrees or something," Rik calculated.  "You did that on purpose?"

Buffy looked at the younger Slayer with confusion.  "That'd be a 'huh?' to the first part and a big yep to the second."

"Oh…you measure your temperature in Fahrenheit, and I was just putting it into Celsius," she explained.

Buffy nodded, just going with it.  Rik rolled her eyes at Buffy's obvious lack of understanding.

"It's like how you measure things in miles and I measure things in kilometres.  Just a different way of looking at stuff, but…my ways far easier to remember," Rik teased.

Buffy swatted her fellow Slayer on the arm, a hit that would have made Xander or Willow wince, but only caused Rik to grin and hit back.

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It took nearly half an hour to get Tara's side of the room completely packed up, and both Buffy and the blonde Wiccan regarded the room with sad nostalgia.

"It won't be the same here without you," Buffy said quietly.

Tara smiled, wishing that things could have been different, but things were as they were and Tara couldn't change them. 

"I'll miss you and Dawnie too.  And Giles," Tara said.

"And Will?" Buffy asked quietly.

She saw Tara's eyes darken and cloud over, pain filling them.  Buffy understood the feeling.  Disappointment, anger, and a tinge of sadness.

"I honestly don't know.  She…she's been lying to me for months," Tara said.

Buffy sat down on the bed, Rik quietly leaving the room, knowing that the two friends needed time alone, which she was more than willing to give them.

Tara sat down beside the small Slayer and played idly with a pillow.  She and Buffy hadn't spent that much time together at all, their only real bonding moment had been when Joyce had died and they had been left alone at the hospital together. 

"I don't think she meant to hurt anyone.  You know her Tara.  You probably know her better than any of us and…and she made some really bad mistakes, made some pretty crappy choices, but…I think, in the end, her heart may have been in the right place," Buffy said.

Tara looked at the girl, wondering how the Slayer could possibly have it in her to forgive her best friend who had put her life, her soul in jeopardy.

"I'm not saying that you have to forgive her right away," Buffy continued.  "I know I'm not ready to forgive and forget just yet, but…maybe one day.  I just…it's gonna take some time but…she needs you Tara.  And you need her."

Tara nodded, knowing that she did need Willow in her life.  Before she had met Willow she had been afraid to stand up to anyone, even if she knew she was in the right.  Now, with Willow and the other Scooby's as friends, Tara had taken on a hellgod and survived.  She had shown her loyalty to the gang by not betraying the identity of the Key.  She had stood up to her family.  She was different, better, because of Willow.

"I just hope that you won't stop coming round here cos…me and Dawnie are kinda fond of ya," she said, smiling.

Tears slipped down Tara's face and she impulsively pulled Buffy into a hug that the Slayer returned with fervour.

"You're a good friend," Tara whispered.

Buffy just smiled and gently eased out of the hug.  The downstairs door slammed shut and Buffy looked blankly towards the sound.  The girls heard heavy footsteps on the stairs and waited to see who would pass the door.

Giles stuck his head in the open doorway and smiled at the two girls.

"Afternoon," he greeted.  He stepped inside and did a double take as he took in the room.  "What happened in here?"

"I-I'm moving out," Tara said.

Giles looked at her, obviously upset.  "Oh, Tara, no.  You don't have to move out.  What happened had nothing to do with you," he said imploringly.

Buffy and Tara both smiled at that, making Tara question her leaving for about the millionth time in an hour.

"It's alright Giles," Tara said.  "I've made up my mind.  I uh…I just have to find a way back to the dorms with all my things."

"Well, I've got my car down the front.  I'd be happy to take you and your belongings back to the dorm if you feel you absolutely must go," he offered.

"Thank you," he said, deliberately ignoring the second part of his statement.  If she had to explain things for another time, she might have just gone crazy.

Buffy and Tara stood up, Buffy grabbing two of the heavier boxes as Tara struggled with the one.

"Hey Giles, Dawnie's going out for dinner tonight, so it's just you and me," Buffy said.

She couldn't have been happier when she saw Giles eyes light up with delight.  Things were definitely on the up.