CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: BROKEN
Willow and Tara lay in the large double bed of Xander's apartment, neither one sleeping, but both trying to think through their thoughts of what was happening to them. They couldn't remember where they were, and they couldn't remember where they lived. Neither one of them carried driver's licenses, but both of them had student ID for UC Sunnydale.
Xander had offered to let them stay at his apartment, and had gentlemanly offered to let them stay in his room while he slept on the couch.
Willow and Tara had looked at each other nervously when Xander had made the offer, but had both complied, knowing that they definitely wanted to share a bed together.
The first few minutes had been awkward and uncomfortable for both of them, until Tara had finally been the first one to start a conversation.
"Willow?" she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"Do you…are you finding this…" Tara trailed off, not really knowing how to complete that sentence.
"Uncomfortable?" Willow finished, even though she wasn't quite feeling that.
"Well, no," Tara replied. "Maybe a little…too comfortable."
Willow swallowed nervously. "You too huh?"
Tara breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she hadn't just been imaging things.
"So…what uh…what do you think we…do you think we're…together?" Tara asked.
Willow hesitated and shifted herself so that she was leaning her weight on her elbow as she lay next to Tara, looking down at her. She felt her heart do the funny flip-flops and knew the answer automatically.
"When I look at you, you make me want to smile," Willow whispered.
Tara smiled at that and moved to imitate Willow's position on the bed.
"You do make me smile," Tara replied.
Willow grinned and they were content to just stare at each other for a few moments. It was at least ten minutes before either one of them managed to work up the confidence to lean towards the other. Neither one of them, though, could have said who had moved in first.
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Xander lay with his hands behind his head on the couch. It was scary to think that he had no idea of who he was or how he was related to any of the people he had woken up with in the Magic Box. The others seemed to be taking it in their stride, but honestly, he was extremely worried. He had been expecting to walk into his apartment and remember flashes of his life, and he had to admit that the apartment did seem familiar, but there was something off about it. As though there was something missing.
He got off the couch and began pacing the living room of his apartment. He went to the kitchen and made himself a cup of tea, not knowing how he knew that he liked tea, but somehow instinctively knowing that it would be something soothing.
He moved to sit at the glass table in the living room, placing the cup on the table and moving back to the kitchen to grab a paper towel as he spilled some of the liquid out of the cup. He trod on something sharp and almost immediately swore before catching himself and clutching at his foot painfully. Several minutes later, when the pain had finally subsided, he bent down to see what he had stepped on.
It was a small black crystal, shiny and beautiful. He held it up to the light and saw black swirls inside and outside of it. There was a small crack in it, presumably from the force of his weight on top it the small object. He took it back to the living room table, placing it next to his teacup. As he dropped it onto the table, there was a bright flash of white. The crystal broke in two and Xander promptly stumbled as he felt every memory that belonged to him rip back into his mind.
He fell to his knees at the intensity of the memories, feeling nauseous about the better half of them. After nearly five minutes of dry-heaving, he managed to stand and went to check on Willow and Tara. He stopped however, when he heard the yelling coming from his bedroom.
Suddenly everything made sense. Willow had cast a spell, and as usual, it had gone terribly wrong. He couldn't work out why she had cast it though, and his curiousity was the only incentive he had to stay and listen to the Wiccan lovers argument.
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"How dare you?!" Tara yelled at Willow, both of them standing on with a good metre and a half between them. "Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Tara, please," Willow begged, tears streaming down her face.
"No Will. I trusted you for God's sake! How dare you do this to me? To all of us?" Tara demanded.
"It…it wasn't like that Tara, I swear it…I was trying to make things better," Willow explained desperately.
"Better for who? For you? What on earth could have been so horrible that you would want me to forget it?" Tara asked. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the guilty countenance of her lover. "Or maybe it wasn't just me that the spell was for."
Willow looked away guiltily and Tara knew the answer. Suddenly everything clicked into place. Willow hadn't been in class that morning, even though she had said she would be there. Tara and Buffy's discussion in the hallway had been overheard and that was the reason the spell had been cast.
Why did you lie to us that day in the shop? About you being in hell?
"This is because of what I was talking to Buffy about this morning, isn't it?" Tara asked.
Willow just nodded quietly. "Yeah. It is," she replied.
Tara looked away in disgust. "I really can't believe you Willow."
"I just…I wanted her to forget where she'd been. To…to try and make things easier on her," Willow explained.
"God, what is wrong with you?!" Tara yelled.
Willow looked completely taken aback by Tara's anger.
"Tara…I didn't mean to-"
"To what? To violate her mind like that? How could you Willow? We ruined things for her, we rip her out of peace and the first thing you do when you find out…you try and take away her memories of it," Tara said angrily. "That's not fair Willow. You can't just play God with her life like that. And what? Did you just think that the others would forget about it as well?"
"Others?" Willow asked.
Tara just shook her head, unable to believe that Willow, who had the IQ of a genius, could be so completely stupid sometimes.
"You don't honestly think that she didn't tell anyone?"
"The others knew? What, am I the last one to know?" Willow asked angrily.
Tara saw how much that bit of information had hurt Willow and suddenly felt contrite. Even though Tara's anger was justified, she could see that it was hurting Willow, and that was something she had never liked to do.
"No, you're not the last," Tara replied, her voice back to the normal quietness. "Giles knows. And so does Rik. I think Spike might as well."
"Spike knew?"
"She probably needed to tell someone. Someone that wasn't directly involved with the spell," Tara explained.
"But Spike?"
Tara's eyes suddenly went wide. Spike. And Buffy. Who assumed that they were engaged. And with no memories of Buffy and Giles being together, Buffy might have…
Willow saw Tara pale suddenly and immediately reached out her hand to comfort her lover. "Tara, what is it?"
Tara glared at Willow and head towards the door angrily. She turned at the last moment.
"I swear, by all the gods and goddesses, if anything has happened to Buffy we're through."
She walked out the door angrily, not even noticing that Xander was leaning against the door hyperventilating over what he had just heard. Behind her, Willow crumpled to the ground, her body wracking with sobs.