CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: MEMORIES
(The first bit of this is set before their memories are returned)
Buffy awoke when she heard the flushing of a toilet down the hallway, followed by the squeaking of the stairs. Curious, she rolled off the bed, careful not to wake Spike up. She slipped into her t-shirt and Spike's sweats, the night air cool enough to not make her want to wear boxer shorts.
She opened the door quietly and headed towards the stairs, going down and into the kitchen. She let the door open with a little squeak, trying not to startle whoever had gone into the kitchen. It didn't work that well.
Giles jumped and turned to see who had followed him, relaxing when he saw that it was Buffy. He offered her a small smile and turned back to his task.
"Tea?" he asked quietly.
"Please," she replied quietly, perching herself on a stool that sat at the kitchen bench.
"You couldn't sleep either I take it," he said.
"Not really," she admitted. "This whole thing is far too freaky for my liking."
He handed her a mug filled with tea, which she took gratefully, holding her hands around the mug to get them warm.
"I have to admit, it is a little…disconcerting to not have any memories," Giles said, taking a seat beside her.
She looked at him and felt her heart catch in her throat. "Sometimes…I kinda get the feeling that my heart remembers stuff," she whispered.
He looked at her and she knew that he understood exactly what she meant.
"Do you think we'll get our memories back?" she asked.
He nodded as he sipped his tea, taking a seat on the stool opposite Buffy, the bench in between them.
"We'll find a way to get them back," he assured her.
"I hope so."
They were silent for a moment and Buffy could feel her heart begin to beat a little faster, nervousness setting in for some unknown reason. Even when she had been with Will, she had never felt the twinges in her heart that Giles was putting there with a simple look.
"The sun will be up soon," Giles commented vaguely, looking out of the window.
Buffy looked as well and gave a small murmur to tell him she had heard him, but couldn't find an appropriate answer. She sighed and stood up, feeling incredibly restless, as though there was something she was meant to be doing.
"Are you alright?" Giles asked.
Buffy nodded, still a little distracted. "I'm just…I dunno. I feel like I should be doing something. Who knows."
"Perhaps you enjoy early morning jogging," he suggested.
Buffy looked up at that. She had the distinct impression that he was right, or almost right.
"That's probably it. Sounds like a good idea at any rate. I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep," Buffy admitted.
He looked at her worriedly. She looked tired, but he didn't feel as though he had the right to criticise.
"And William? He's alright?"
He noticed the way her cheeks blushed a little at the mention of his sons name. His eyes darkened a little when he realised what that blush meant. He shook the darkness away and tried to look supportive. Why he wouldn't be thrilled for his son was beyond him.
"Yeah, he…he's asleep." She was tempted to tell him about what had happened last night when he had bitten her. Her hand went to her neck at the memory of it, but the holes had already closed. She couldn't even feel a scar there at all. Strange.
Buffy stood up and put her empty mug on the counter, giving Giles a small smile. "I'm gonna go get changed. Maybe go for that run after all," she said.
Giles nodded and watched as she walked away. He sighed to himself wondering what the true story was behind everything he was feeling.
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Buffy crept through her room silently, locating a pair of shorts and a tank top as well as a pair of running shoes in her closet. How she had managed not to wake up Spike was a question she didn't really want to know the answer to. She was somewhat grateful for it though.
She slipped out of the room and down the stairs, smiling a little at Giles who had relocated to the living room, his tea and a book in his hands. He waved a little and watched her slip out the door and into the darkness. It was early, only four-thirty, but at least the rain had stopped.
She began running, her feet thumping an unconscious rhythm as she went. She went to turn the corner but stopped short as she heard a thousand voices begin screaming at her. Her hands went to her ears, trying to shut out the voices. They persisted and she fell to her knees.
Memory after memory swept through her mind; her first memory of being at the park with her dad, the first time she met Dawn and held the baby girl in her arms, going through school, being called, Merrick dying, moving to Sunnydale, her romance with Angel, his consequent turning, killing him, running away, coming back a broken shell, her eighteenth birthday, Faith's turn to the darker side of slaying, attempting to kill Faith, destroying the school, the entire mess with Riley, Adam, the Initiative, Riley leaving her, Spike confessing his love for her, her mother becoming sicker and sicker, her mom dying, trying to take care of Dawn, falling in love with Giles and not being able to tell him, Glory taking Dawn, her own death, heaven, waking up in her coffin, the first few day back in this world, Giles not being there, Giles return, Faith's death, Rik's appearance, Giles' proposal, her acceptance. And then…Spike.
Oh god. She'd slept with Spike.
The sobbing came after the retching, and the rocking back and forth was closely followed by the unconscious whisper that came to her lips. "Giles….Giles…Giles…"
(Hehe…way to give a girl a nervous break-down, huh? My apologies for how long it's taken to get this chapter up…)