CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: TRUTH

(Warning, Spike is kinda fluffy in this chap.  My apologies for people who prefer him evil…)

When Spike finally had feeling in his body again, he took the stairs down to the kitchen.  He'd slept with Buffy.  She was with Giles, and he'd slept with her.  Half of him was rejoicing the fact that he'd finally slept with the girl he loved, while the other half was in misery because he knew what this would do to Buffy.  This would kill her.  Not to mention her relationship with her Watcher.

Spike stepped into the living room, careful to avoid the sunlight.  He stopped short when he saw Rupert sitting on the edge of the couch deep in thought.  Spike coughed softly, trying not to startle the man.  Giles just looked at the vampire, and immediately Spike knew that Giles knew what had happened between Spike and Buffy the night before.

"She alright?" Spike asked, realising there was no point in not broaching the topic with the Watcher.  He was nervous.  He couldn't explain why, but he was.

"I don't know," Giles replied quietly.  "She went for a run earlier this morning.  She hasn't come back since."

"It's gonna be hard for her," Spike said.  "Remembering everything that she's gonna remember."

Giles sat there silently, trying to be angry at Spike.  He found that he couldn't bring himself to do so.  He was jealous, he couldn't and wouldn't deny that.  But he couldn't be angry.  He had seen the way that William had been looking at 'Buffy' the night before, he had seen the obvious devotion of his 'son' to the young blonde girl.  He couldn't fault Spike for following through with the emotions that he so obviously felt.

"So, are you gonna stake me, or should I just save you the hassle and do it meself?" he asked.

Giles shook his head.  He felt sick, physically sick.  The thought that Buffy had slept with the vampire was nauseating, yet on a conscious level he knew that it wasn't Buffy who had slept with Spike.  It was a young woman sleeping with a man who was her fiancée.

"I'm not going to stake you Spike," Giles replied. 

Spike nearly breathed a sigh of relief and sat himself on the single sofa opposite Giles.

"You gonna go look for her?  I'd offer to do it myself, but the sun's coming through the clouds too often," he said.

"I think she might need to be alone for a while," Giles said.

"Alone?  That chit's just had twenty years of crappy memories forced back into her skull, and you think she's better off alone?" Spike asked incredulously.  "What that girl needs is someone there to listen to her, someone to hold her while she's crying her heart out."

"And I suppose you want to volunteer?" Giles asked bitterly.

Spike shook his head sadly.  "It's not my place.  Never was.  She gave it to me a few times, when you weren't there.  She wanted you though.  She always wanted you.  And if it makes you feel any better…she called for you.  When she…when we…while we…" he trailed off.  "She called for you even when she couldn't remember you."

Giles felt somewhat heartened that Buffy had called for him when she had slept with Spike –'William'-.

"You think I should go after her?" Giles asked.

"I dunno mate," Spike replied.  "She's gonna be hurting, not just over what happened over her whole life, but…Rupert, I swear, I never woulda made a move on her if I hadda been myself.  She…she loves you.  She looks at you and she smiles, and…to see her smiling, no matter who it was with, I'd step aside and just watch her."

"Strangely enough, I actually believe that you're telling the truth," Giles said.

Spike just shrugged and leant back in his seat.

"Question is, can you forgive her for what happened.  For what she couldn't control?" Spike asked.

"I can," Giles replied, almost becoming defensive at Spike's implication.

"Really?  You can push past her sleeping not only with another man, but with a vampire as well?" Spike asked.  "Cos that girl's gonna be feeling some pretty serious guilt right now and none of it's even her fault.  So if you like you're blaming her even a smidgen for what happened, then you're gonna lose her."

Giles looked away, hating that Spike was being so insightful.  He knew in his head that Buffy wasn't to blame for what had happened with Spike.  But, he couldn't help but feel hurt that Buffy had slept with Spike before he and his Slayer had had a chance to make love with each other.  It hurt, and even though he knew it was irrational, he couldn't help the way he felt.

"Maybe we should get someone else to go look for her," Giles eventually suggested. 

"Yeah but who?"

As though the Powers themselves had answered the question, the front door opened and Tara came in looking as though she had run the entire way from Xander's apartment.  She had.

"Tara?  God lord, what's the matter?" Giles asked.

"Where's Buffy…is she alright?" Tara asked.

Giles and Spike exchanged glances.  They really never gave the blonde Wiccan girl much credit for anything.

"We don't actually know where she is," Giles admitted.  "She uh…went for a run earlier this morning before we got eh memories back.  My only guess is that she was hit with the barrage of them sometime on her jog."

Tara nodded and looked between the two British men.  Her gaze fell on Spike.

"Did she…I mean…you guys didn't…"

Spike caught the unspoken question and nodded.  Tara felt her heart drop.

"Oh goddess," she breathed quietly.

"That was pretty much our reaction ducks," Spike said.  "Except far manlier of course."

Giles glared at the vampire who immediately closed his mouth. 

"Do you know where she went?" Tara asked.

Giles shook his head.   "Sunnydale's not exactly a tiny town, and seeing as she doesn't know her way around, she could really be anywhere."

"I can do a location spell," Tara said, thinking quickly.  "I just need something of hers."

Spike pulled something out of his jeans pocket and handed it to the witch.  Tara looked at it carefully.  Buffy's engagement ring.  Spike had found it after all of his memories had shoved their way into his mind again.  The ring had been on the bedside table.  He'd pocketed it in hopes to give it back to Buffy.

Tara quickly cast a quick spell and found the Slayer, stationary near the park.  After quickly assuring Giles that she would take care of Buffy, Tara was off, running towards the park, the ring still in her hand.

~*~