Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyright and trademarked by Gainax. All characters created by them are used here without permission, and for entertainment purposes only. I don't mean to infringe, only to entertain. Please don't sue my poor ass.
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Seraphim
by the Loneshark
Chapter 5: Subascendant
Kensuke couldn't move for several minutes. He didn't care if the guards were giving him funny looks. This was it. He'd been waiting for this. After working so hard for so long, it finally happened. He was going to go into NERV. He had been asked to come to NERV. And help. Him.
Come on, don't act like a kid, he thought. Just go in there, and do your thing. Show them.
He suddenly remembered his first day of school. For years he couldn't remember how it felt, but now he was pretty sure this must've been it.
He passed through the security checkpoint, and stepped in. At the top of a long escalator, Dr. Iwano was waiting for him. The older man looked at his watch. "So, right on time. I should've figured as much."
Kensuke stammered. "Um... Ken... Kensuke..."
Yoshi waved a hand. "Relax, Kensuke. I know who you are, for heaven's sake. Come on." They started down the escalator. Kensuke tried not to look over the edge. It made him a little dizzy. Yoshi leaned calmly against the rail. Kensuke suddenly noticed that he seemed to be a little upset. "Um, is something wrong, sir? I mean, Shinji asked me to come, if you don't need me, I guess, I can-"
"No, no. It's all right. Sorry, I was just thinking about something. You know when an author brings a supporting character into a main role just to fill in a plot gap?"
Kensuke laughed a little, feeling more relaxed. "Oh, yeah. I hate it when they do that."
Yoshi nodded grimly. "Me too."
Kensuke looked around nervously, but tried to keep his attention on Dr. Iwano as he was led through NERV's headquarters. It was every bit as monolithic as he'd imagined. Looking out what few windows there was gave him an expansive view of the GeoFront. He'd read everything he could get his hands on about this place, but standing here and seeing it with his own eyes made it all seem so unreal. Dr. Iwano was saying something, but he couldn't concentrate on it.
"Kensuke!" Yoshi yelled. The kid hadn't been paying attention to a word he'd said.
He jumped. "S-sorry! I... uh, well--."
Yoshi waved his hand again. "Forget it. At this point it's not that important anyway. You've read the report, right? I'm assuming Shinji gave it to you?"
"Um, yeah, I went over it last night. I couldn't believe it. It's supposed to be nearly impossible to break into NERV without knowing something about it, isn't it?"
"You'd be surprised," he muttered. "NERV's had its security problems in the past. Just never any quite so invasive, before. So, where's Misato? She said not to call her unless it was an emergency. She got another hangover?"
"No, she finally decided to move out of her apartment. Shinji told her about the place available underneath us."
Yoshi involuntarily cringed. "Asuka probably didn't like that."
"He's been in pain for the past couple of days. Too bad he and Touji got drafted for moving duty."
They came to a security door. Yoshi punched a code into the keypad, and then stepped inside. "Well, that's nothing compared to what we'll be doing." Kensuke followed him into a dim room. Most of the light came from computer monitors lining the far wall. Below it sat a desk piled with manuals, reports, old mugs, and a small colony of keyboards. Yoshi sat down, and at his slightest touch, the room came to life, like a wizard summoning lightning from a clear, still sky. He smiled at the expression on Kensuke's face. "Nice, eh?"
"I've never read anything about this. Is it something new?" He sat down in one of two chairs in front of the monitors.
Yoshi sat beside him. "Yes, it's my private database. I've put together everything I could scrape together about NERV, the Evas, the Magi; everything's here. I can disconnect from the rest of the system if I need to. This is the best place to start from."
Kensuke started typing at the keyboard. Yoshi sat back with a grin on his face. After a few moments, Kensuke had to look away, his eyes starting to swim. "Damn, it's making me dizzy."
"Yeah. I may not be as formative as the infamous Dr. Akagi, but I think this baby lets me keep up." He cracked his knuckles. "All right, let's get to work. The first thing we need to try is to restore the security logs in the terminals the intruder used. After that we can restructure the pathways and find out what he was looking for. The who and why will be a bit harder to answer."
Kensuke gulped, and looked back at the monolith. "I guess I won't be home in time for dinner."
"No." Yoshi silently went to work. Kensuke looked at him nervously, and then started.
***
"Damn it, look out!" There was a loud crash outside the door, followed by a scream. She couldn't tell if it was Shinji or Touji, but it sounded painful.
"You should have watched where you were stepping."
"That has nothing to do with it! You dropped it on my foot!"
"I'm sorry, all right? Just let me help-"
"No, don't move it-Ah!" Another scream.
"Sorry."
Rei turned to Asuka, who was helping Misato move the couch against the wall. "Shouldn't we be helping them bring things up the stairs?"
"Are you kidding me? Pushing things around inside's bad enough!" They put it in place with a final grunt of effort, and them collapsed.
Shinji and Touji walked in a second later carrying a large box, and dropped it, themselves falling after.
Shinji looked over at Misato breathlessly. "What the hell is in this thing?"
Misato peered at the box. "Oh, that's the first box of clothes."
"First?"
Touji rapped a fist on the top of the box. It was stuffed almost to the point of exploding. "What do you wear, lead vests?"
She stood up, and clapped her hands. "Enough complaining! No one rests until the job's done!" The two young men groaned, and proceeded back down to Misato's car, where most of her possessions were spilling out of the trunk.
"Ugh. She's a slave driver, I swear it." Touji led the way down. He hated this heat, and was trying to find something new to complain about.
"Come on, it's only a couple more boxes." Shinji tried to sound hopeful, but he knew he was fooling himself.
"And two tables, and the chairs, and the bed, and Pen Pen's ice box."
The penguin's head popped out of the back window, and squawked at him.
"Oh, no! Come on, out!" He opened the door, and pointed away. "Out! There's no way in hell we're moving you, too! You can waddle your own butt upstairs."
The penguin tried big, sad eyes, then angry eyes, and then finally settled for a yelling match.
Shinji stood back and watched them. He waved to Hikari as she walked up.
"Hey, Shinji! Sorry I'm late, I..." She watched her boyfriend and the penguin scream at each other. "Um, what's going on?"
"A battle of wits."
"Moving's going that badly, huh?"
He nodded pitifully. "Yeah."
"Well, you guys keep it up, and I'll make lunch."
"Great. Misato, Asuka and Rei are upstairs, unpacking the boxes."
"Thanks." She ran over and kissed Touji on the cheek. He paused, barely noticing it over his battle with Pen Pen. Hikari waved to them, and then ran up the stairs.
Shinji shook his head. "All right, come on. I want to get this done with. Let's take the bed up."
"I still don't she how she managed to fit it in this car." He pulled on one end while Shinji tried to push it on the opposite side.
"I think it's a girl thing. They do the same thing with the dish washer." With a final growl of effort, the bed popped out of the car, and landed on Touji. Shinji winced. "Sorry."
"Get it off me, now!"
***
The only reason Yoshi had thought to take a quick lunch break was because Kensuke reminded him that it was nearly lunch. He'd forgotten for the past two years that lunch existed for the rest of the world, having worked through so many of them. Still, it gave his a chance to refresh the coffee. Misato had made the last pot two days ago. That stuff could clean engines.
He looked at his watch. Where was that damn kid? He'd been given half an hour, and directions to the cafeteria. That was more than enough time! He was ten minutes late, costing them time that would be better spent on his investigation than gawking at the view. What had possessed him to listen to Shinji three days ago and agreed to let this kid help out, he'd never know.
He muttered and cursed his way back and forth from his office to the cafeteria, and finally just flipped through the security cameras when he didn't find him. It took a moment, but he managed to find him wandering around near Unit 01's holding cage. Why the hell hadn't anyone stopped him? He only had a temporary pass.
Yoshi growled, and made his way down there. He tried to calm himself. Maybe he was just being territorial? The kid wasn't that bad, and seemed to know what he was doing. But when he even got near a file about the Evas, he went into a completely different world. It had taken Yoshi months to compile the data they currently had, and they weren't any closer to figuring out how to upgrade the Evas themselves. The last thing he needed was some wide-eyed kid hitting the wrong damn button and ruining years of work.
When he reached the cage, Kensuke was already there. He stood in front of the Eva, staring up at it. Yoshi paused. The kid just... looked at it. Even from the door, he could make out Kensuke's expression. He approached slowly, studying the young man. The expression didn't actually look familiar, but it... felt familiar, like a half-remembered sensation from a dream.
Kensuke finally noticed him. "Oh, sorry. I just... I know I'm late. I just had to come here and see it."
"I thought you'd seen the Evangelions before?" He tried to remember the old reports. "You've even been inside Unit 01, right?"
"Well, yeah, but..." He looked back at it. "That was so long ago. And I've never really been able to get this good of a look at it."
Now Yoshi knew that look. It must have been the exact same expression he'd had the first time he saw an Eva this close up.
What the hell. Yoshi joined him in admiring the beast. Even he couldn't help it. It was something so awesome that it demanded notice. Many hated or feared it, but standing here, they could only feel a sense of awe at the achievement that was the Evangelion.
"You know," Kensuke said, "For the longest time I envied my own best friends. They're getting to do the kind of things I've only dreamed about. They get to actually be something other than just a couple of kids. They get to live it. I know they keep telling me it's not that great, and I've seen what it puts them through, but..."
"You just can't believe how tough they are," Yoshi said. "It's like they really have become something more than just humans."
"Yeah."
"Come on, the least we can do is find out who our intruder is." The two of them walked back to Yoshi's office without looking back at the Evangelion.
Kensuke said, "Shinji told me once that Unit 01 was different from the others, in that it was really alive. Is that true?"
"Well, it was."
"What does that mean?"
"It's complicated. The Evas, well at least Unit 01, have something that the only applicable term for it would be a soul, but it's not aware. It's like a slumbering monster. Unit 01 was the only one to awaken before the Third Impact. It hasn't shown any sign that it is awake since then."
Kensuke involuntarily shivered. Sometimes Touji or Shinji would tell him a little bit about what it was like to pilot an Eva. They'd describe the strange bond that occurs between an Eva and its pilot. It reacted to them, in ways that only they could really notice. They shared its pain, and it felt theirs. He found it hard to imagine how that would change if an Eva were to gain its own awareness. What sort of sanity could such a thing have, if one would dare to call it sanity?
Yoshi had an idea of what he was thinking. "Sorry you asked?" He nodded. "Try not to think about it. You'll just start to get a migraine. Let's just get this job over with, huh?"
"Yeah. Probably a safer job, anyway. Safer than what they're stuck doing right now," he laughed.
***
Shinji sat out on the balcony. Piloting an Eva was safer than this. It was also less terrifying. There were fewer surprises, and nothing spilled out of boxes. And your girlfriend didn't yell at you for being a pervert when panties spill out all over the place, and she catches you in that frozen moment when you're staring at them, trying to decide if you should pick them up.
Misato poked her head out of the apartment. "So this is where you're hiding?"
"Taking a break," he said. He leaned back in a chair, his eyes closed. "That was the agreement, wasn't it? Touji and I carry it up, you and the others unpack?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, she's not mad at you."
"I know. She's been like this for the past couple of days, ever since I told them about the sabotage."
She stepped out, and looked over the view. "Damn. How the hell did you guys find a place like this six months ago?"
"Wasn't easy."
"At least now I can see why you were so eager to start being paid. This place isn't cheap."
"Yeah, but they gave us a little discount when they found out that we're Evangelion pilots."
"Shinji! I wouldn't think you'd stoop to using your status for personal ends."
"I didn't. Touji and Kensuke did."
"Hm, right." She laughed.
He opened an eye. "You never did grow up, did you?"
She stared out at the city for a moment, and finally said, "Has Rei talked to you about what happened last time?"
"No. She hasn't said anything to me since her nightmare. You haven't talked to her, have you?"
"Only after you did. I haven't said anything to her about it since, either." Shinji twisted his head around to look back into the apartment. Misato looked at him. "I wouldn't, Shinji. It's something she has to face by herself."
He turned back. "I know. But... I hate just sitting by, Misato. She's practically my sister. She is my sister. I can't just let my friends be hurt by something like this. Even if we don't know what it is."
"I know how you feel, Shinji. I told her so. But I think this is something she has to face on her own. Whatever we do to figure out what's going on, we still have to face it individually."
Shinji sighed, and leaned back. "I know that. I think that's what's making Asuka so angry right now, too. She's just too stubborn to come out with it."
Misato laughed. "You two are too much alike."
He furrowed his brow. "You're the second person to tell me that this week. Mind filling me in on the joke?"
"Well, let's see. You both had the same fears."
"Had being the operative word."
"Quiet, I'm not done. You worry about the same things, just express it in the opposite ways. You're both orphans. You both like to argue when I'm trying to prove a point. You're my best pilots, and neither one of you lets things go very easily." She smiled at him. "I think that about sums it up."
"I hate it when I can't tell if you're being serious or not."
She frowned. "And neither one of you will lighten up when I say to!"
Touji appeared in the doorway, holding a cup. "Hey, what are you two doing out here?"
"Just talking. What's in that?"
"This?" He held up the cup. "Ice water. Why?"
"Can I have that for a moment?" She took the cup without waiting for a reply.
Shinji yelled as he was hit by the shock of ice cold water falling on his head.
***
Kensuke rubbed his eyes. This wasn't anywhere as easy as he thought it would be. The saboteur had gone into places that were damn near impossible to hack into. It would take much longer than the small amount of time Yoshi assumed that the saboteur had possessed. Of course they already knew that.
That must have been why the guy had been covering his tracks so well. Only someone who knew the passes could have gotten through. They were only fortunate that Yoshi set the system to back up all data that went into it.
Kensuke looked blearily at the mug of coffee set in front of him. He looked up at Yoshi.
"Here," he said. "It's my own brew, better than Misato's. Her coffee could put hair on your chest."
Kensuke smiled. "Thanks. What time is it?" He sipped his coffee.
Yoshi leaned back. "Almost midnight. Maya, Shigeru, and a few members of the security staff are probably the only ones besides us still here. It's not an easy job, I'll give it that." He looked at the screen. "So, you found the reports on our attempts to upgrade the Evas?"
"Um, yeah, I'm sorry. I know it's classified, but I-"
Yoshi waved his hand. "It's fine, Kensuke. I figured you'd run across those sooner or later."
"Yeah. I don't really understand the terminology, but I can basically get what you're talking about. But..."
"What is it?"
"You mentioned in the beginning of your report that the Eva's are something more than biological constructs; that parts of them actually came from something else. What does that mean?"
Yoshi took a deep breath. "That's the censored version of the report. Only Misato and your friends have seen the real report. Of course I had to explain to them what it basically meant. The Evas were given something... the closest thing that it can be thought of is a soul. In some ways, they resemble humans. I believe that the Evas may in fact be a new form of human being."
Kensuke listened, trying to put it together. "But, that would mean that the Angels..." He looked at Yoshi.
"The Angels are much more than that. The Evas appear to be somewhere in between. Of course even I'm not sure about all of this. Unit 01 was part of the complex key to starting Instrumentality. It would all be a lot less frustrating if I could ask Gendo Ikari or Ritsuko Akagi."
"So your saying that the problems come from dealing with the Evas accepting the changes you're trying to make to them?"
Yoshi looked up at the young man, and smiled. "Well, you really are rather bright. Yes, that's the big part of it. Misato told me once that without a pilot, the Evas are nothing more than over-powered monsters. Part of NERV's focus in these days is trying to deal with not just the Angels, but lessening the danger it created in using the Evas as weapons."
Kensuke turned back to the monitors, but couldn't focus on them. "When you put it that way, it makes the Eva series sound like something out of a nightmare."
"Someone's nightmare, I'm sure. But the possibilities that could be opened up if we figured out how to put the Evas to rest while retaining their power, or channeling it into something that wasn't destructive; that would make everything we've done here worth it."
Kensuke half sighed, and half laughed. "Misato said you were an idealist."
"Yeah, I admit to that. So, how did you come across those reports? You weren't straying from the objective, were you?"
He shook his head. "No, sir. Actually, I think it's one of the things the saboteur was looking for."
"Really?" Yoshi sat down at his chair on the other side of the desk. "Show me."
"Well, after going through everything we could reconstruct, I saw how it could only have been someone who knows NERV procedures and pass codes. Either they're already familiar with it, or they knew how to get it. Either way, this data is one of the things they were after. I've been tracing a few other data paths, and I can't be sure yet, but I think he or she was also going for data on the Angels and Instrumentality."
Yoshi looked over the data, then said, "Good work, Kensuke. The more we find out about what they were looking for, the more likely well be able to found out who did this. All right, let's get back to work."
***
He was sweating. It wasn't because he was nervous. Years of training to be one of the best spies in the world didn't leave room for one to be nervous. Not while on a job. It was the humidity all the way down here. Yeah. That's what he kept telling himself.
There was no choice. This is what he had to do. And if he got caught? Well, it probably didn't matter, anymore. He knew that he was rapidly becoming inconsequential. Just one more job, and that would be it. He'd have nothing left but to sit back and watch it all play out.
He started, going in the back doors that only a handful of people knew about. He had been trained by the best before coming to NERV. Ikari had made him better. Ikari had made them all exactly what he wanted them to be.
He wondered for a moment if this was something the old man had thought of. He'd seemed to foresee everything else. It wouldn't have surprised him if Ikari had planned all of this from the beginning, or at least knew this was a possible consequence of his actions.
The Keel brat probably knew. Or at least had an idea.
As he thought these things, he lost focus for only a fraction of a second. In the crucial moment between action and thought, he'd slipped.
And now he was expendable.
***
The alert signal suddenly flashed in the corners of the monitors. Kensuke tried to avoid spewing his coffee everywhere.
"S-sir, I think there's something going on."
Yoshi looked at the symbol on the screen, then smiled. "So, he's back."
"What?"
Yoshi picked up the phone. "Security, this is Dr. Iwano. We have an intruder in block seventeen. Close off all exits, and sections nine through twenty. He won't have any escape routes. Don't hit the alarm until I say otherwise. No, no. Just wait." He put the phone down.
"Um, sir, shouldn't we-?"
"No." Yoshi watched the screen. "Just monitor him. I want to see what he's after this time."
Kensuke watched the hacker at work. "Well, it looks like he's using the same methods. Wait... where is he going?"
Yoshi silently watched. Then he said, "The Magi. He's going to the Magi. They're tied into the whole city, but they won't let you in unless you come to them. They're pushy bitches." He blinked. "What the...?"
Kensuke stared, his mouth hanging open. "But... why are they letting him in? He's not forcing his way."
"I've never seen these pass codes before. Where's he going?" He picked the phone up again. "It's Iwano. Hit the alarm, now." The lights in the room went red, and klaxons blared in their ears. "Thanks. I'll be right down."
Kensuke turned in his chair, unsure of what to do. "Um, Dr. Iwano, what should I--?"
Yoshi pushed a gun into his hand. "You know how to use this?" He nodded dumbly. "Good. Watch what he does. I need someone to figure out what he's after. Use the gun only if he comes near here, got it?" He ran out of the room without waiting for an answer.
Kensuke turned back to the monitors, and tried to stop shaking. This was real. He couldn't believe it. This wasn't anything like the cartoons he'd watched as a kid. This was really happening. He tried to calm himself, and watch what the intruder was doing.
He was going for... What were those? Old files?
Kensuke put the gun aside, with the safety on, and turned the security cameras on. He knew which terminal was being accessed. It was clear as day on the screen in front of him.
The view on the other monitors changed to various sections of NERV HQ. Where the hell was he? Kensuke looked over them, and smiled when he found him. A figure hunched over an access terminal. He worked quickly, using a palm computer that he'd wired into the terminal. Not even the alarm disturbed him.
Kensuke turned back to the other screen, and watched him work. Where was he going? The Magi complied data. Did they actually hold anything?
Kensuke watched, and saw what the intruder was looking for. He looked back to the security monitor. That was it! That explained a few things, at least.
He looked up. On another monitor, Dr. Iwano and a security team were making their way down. The intruder was already finished. He'd been too fast for them. He ran through the halls, and was met by sealed doors. Security would be there within moments. He looked caught.
He opened up an access panel next to the door, punched in a code, and opened it. Kensuke stared. Damn it! Why didn't they move faster? He looked around.
"How the hell am I supposed to call them?" He punched a couple of keys. He slipped. "No, damn it! Wait!" He brought up a schematic for HQ. He sighed with frustration. "Damn it, he's going around them. Turn around! Turn around!" He realized how ridiculous he must sound, shouting at a screen.
He couldn't just sit here and let them miss him. The bastard would be gone by then.
Kensuke watched the monitor for a second, then back at the schematic. He knew where the intruder was headed. It would be an obvious exit. Dr. Iwano would probably figure it out, but by then it would be too late.
He looked from the screen to the gun, and back again.
He fixed his security pass on the front of his shirt, grabbed the gun, and ran to head the intruder off.
***
He was running, now. Running for his life. It was all he had left. If he got caught, then he would be dead for sure. His partner would see to that. If he got away, then maybe he could find something worth wasting his time on. Something to just pass away the few days, maybe weeks he had left. If there was even that much time left.
If it wasn't on its way here already. He'd lost track of it. It could be anywhere, now. It would be here, eventually, but not yet, perhaps. Just perhaps.
And maybe it didn't matter, anyway. That's what the frightening bastard had told him, when they started this. Nothing except this would matter. Not the murders, not the destruction, and not even their own deaths would matter, if this worked.
In the end, maybe none of it would matter, even if it did work.
Yoshi led the security team down to the corridor where they'd trapped the intruder. Typically, he was not considered a brave man, but he took his job, and the protection of NERV, very seriously. Misato had seen this before, and it only vindicated her choice in hiring him; it made the security staff nervous when he got like this. He only had a revolver, but there'd been rumors that he was taking lessons form Misato, and was a very good shot. The look on his face was reason enough for the security team to stay out of his way.
When they came to the security doors blocking off the intruder's escape, Yoshi tensed. He'd never really fired a gun at a living person, before. Cardboard targets were entirely different.
One of the security members opened the door. The realization that the intruder was gone didn't quite hit anyone until the door fully opened, allowing them to see clearly down the corridor. Yoshi stared, and then cursed.
"Sir, should we...?"
Yoshi didn't hear the security officer. He was thinking of where the intruder could have gone. He walked up to the access panel at the next door. It had been used, so the intruder knew the security codes. Where could he go to escape? The fastest way out...
"Come on," Yoshi said. "We don't have time to double back, we'll have to keep going. Hurry." The long nights of overtime had given Yoshi a surprisingly healthy endurance. The security team had a little difficulty keeping up.
There it was. The emergency exit from the main control room. No one would guess that he'd actually go further down into NERV just to get out. But the GeoFront is vast. He could make his way out without ever being found. It would take several days, but at least he'd be free.
"Freeze!" The man stopped, and turned. Kensuke was panting, almost out of breath, but he'd made it. He hoped he could keep the gun pointed at the man. The damn thing was heavy!
The man looked at him with cold blue eyes, but didn't move. "So, NERV is still in the practice of hiring children to do its real work?"
Kensuke stood straight. "Freeze means don't move, and don't speak."
The man didn't move. The kid wasn't shaking, but in his eyes, he was nervous. Even if he didn't really plan on shooting, he might accidentally squeeze the trigger, out of fatigue and nerves.
But Kensuke didn't feel any fatigue. If he had, it was washed away by blood and adrenaline. He couldn't help but think of how many movies he'd seen with this exact scene in them. He tried not to shake. He could see and hear everything. His senses were open to his heartbeat, and that of the man standing before him. He started to wish it would just shut up.
To hell with this. It was just a kid. He couldn't live with himself if a damn kid had caught him. He could move faster. He'd been trained for it.
Kensuke saw the man's hand slowly move towards his jacket. "I said don't move!"
"You're not going to shoot me. Relax, kid. No one will blame you. I'm a professional."
Kensuke didn't answer. He pulled back the hammer on the gun.
Idiot.
There was a flash of light, and the sound of a gun.
"Sir!" The security officer stopped Yoshi. "There's been a report of the sound of gunfire in the Central Dogma emergency exit shaft."
"It's all right, that's where we're headed." Yoshi blinked, and put it together. "Damn it! Come on!"
They moved even faster. Yoshi couldn't believe this. That kid. That damned, stupid kid! Was he trying to get himself killed? He'd been told to stay in the office. That meant you stayed in the office. You didn't run off after an intruder. That's how people get killed.
The exit shaft was just up ahead. As they neared it, a figure could be made out, standing over a fallen body. It was Kensuke. He stood over the intruder, his gun pointed at the man. The intruder's gun was against the wall. Kensuke had kicked it away. Yoshi and the security team froze for a second, giving themselves time to take in the scene, and try to believe it. They surrounded the intruder, who only laid back on the ground, staring up. He was bleeding from his shoulder. Yoshi reached down, and pulled the man's palm computer out of his pocket.
"Heh. I imagine you must be feeling pretty bad right now, eh? Beaten by a kid. No offense, Kensuke. All right, get him out of here."
The security team picked him up, along with his gun. He shouted as they grabbed him under the arm, but none of them really seemed to care. Yoshi watched them carry him away. Kensuke stood rock still, looking out at the open end of the shaft.
"Well, I can't believe it. You actually stopped him. Kensuke? Kensuke?" The young man didn't move. "Um, are you all right?"
He fell to his knees, and let out a long breath of air. Yoshi laughed. After a few moments of re-teaching him how to breathe, he said, "I... I didn't think I'd make it, really. I saw him reach for his gun, and I..."
"It was just a flash of light, right?" Kensuke looked up at him, and nodded. He helped him up. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's your first time to shoot someone in the arm."
Kensuke was led away, his arms still shaking. "Yeah. I stopped him, didn't I?"
"Yeah, yeah, we won't go over that part. You should probably start breathing again, before you fall over."
***
Everyone stayed at Misato's for dinner. Asuka finally lightened up after a few beers, and had to be dragged back to her apartment by Hikari. Shinji and Touji eventually left, drinking to sooth the pangs of abandonment. It was funny seeing them like this. Of course it wasn't the most mature way to act, and Misato doubted at one point if it was at all realistic, she let it go. They deserved a chance to let go, once in a while.
Rei was the only one sober enough to stay and help clean up. She washed the dishes while Misato took out the garbage, and was alone for a few minutes. It was nice, she thought, to be able to relax. Even if it was ordered, and didn't make their problems go away, it was nice to just forget they existed, if only for a little while. It gave her time to think about how to handle them.
Why did you kill it?
She almost dropped the dish she was drying off. This couldn't happen. It wasn't real.
Avoiding the problem won't make it go away. Now answer the question.
"You're dead," she told... herself? It?
You should read more. Angels don't die. We have no conception of life and death. There is only purpose.
"Your purpose is over. You failed. Now go away."
You killed it. It came to you for purpose. Is this what you've become, Rei? Will you kill everything that tries to help you escape this fragile, futile existence?
"It is not futile. I will not believe that old lie. Leave me alone!"
It is in everything's nature to fulfill its purpose. When it has no purpose, it must seek one out, or cease to exist. Will you condemn them for that? You yourself sought purpose, once. Help them.
"They are Angels. They only care about destruction. They don't care who they hurt in the process."
It is simply the way things are.
"That's an excuse! They hurt Ikari, and Asuka, and Suzuhara! They just wanted Adam. They just wanted destruction."
Destruction is the ultimate fate of everything. It does not matter when it comes, except that a purpose has been fulfilled before that time comes. You took that away from it. You killed it before it even had a chance to-
"To what? Take my soul? My Self? I will not let that happen again. No matter what, and you can not force me."
You will choose. It's inevitable.
Misato walked back in, stretching. Why didn't this place have a garbage chute, or something? It's so much trouble to drag the trash all the way down...
"Rei?" The girl stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring into space. Misato waved her hand in front of her. She didn't respond. "Rei, come on." She shook her. "Rei, please, wake up." She still didn't respond. Misato grabbed her shoulders, and looked into her eyes. They were huge, and glazed over. "Damn it, Rei, snap out of it!"
She was in the room where she was born, hundreds of feet beneath the earth. This was the first place that had been etched into her mind. It's images and hues were a part of her psyche as much as the impressions from the woman who was her genetic mother. Yui Ikari.
"And this is the place where it began." She turned. Kaworu stood behind her. "This is where it was decided that you would be like me."
"I am not like you. What happened here doesn't matter anymore."
"What happened here was supposed to be the way to the future for mankind, and it failed. Gendo Ikari believed in making a new world where there would be no pain. Where no one would die." He locked eyes with her. "You were the key to that dream."
"I am not that person, anymore. That dream was something never destined to happen."
"You believed in it."
She looked down. "No. I... I believed in him. I had nothing else."
"And what do you have now?"
She smiled. "Friends. People who I care for, and who care for me in return."
"You believe in these bonds?"
"Yes."
He was in front of her, close enough for her to feel his breath. She looked at him, unafraid. "You were like me," he said. "You learned how to be human, how to find meaning in existence beyond narrow purpose."
"I was always human, and I am not like you, anymore. They can't affect me, Kaworu. I won't believe it. Is that the only reason you're here? To tell me what... it said? That I am not who I choose to be? If you are, I won't believe it. Asuka and Ikari won't believe it. Misato and Suzihara won't, either. I am who I say I am."
He smiled at her, in the same way he always smiled. It was a gentle expression that made you believe he was really listening to you. She wondered if it was as genuine as it seemed.
"No, Rei. I am here to warn you." He looked to his left, to the bench. She followed his gaze.
The thing that sat there was her, but not her. It was part of her, she knew. That part which was thought to have burned away. That part that craved a purpose, that sought to take into itself everything it felt was lost and incomplete. That part of herself that was Adam, the father and mother of the Angels.
The being sat hunched over herself, clutching her stomach. It seemed to be in pain, but when it looked up at her, it was smiling.
Kaworu spoke. "You used the Children of Lilith, the demons, to defeat the Angels. Then you used your own wills to stop Instrumentality to take control of your own destiny. What you did not realize was that there would be consequences. For every path to the future that closes, another possibility opens up."
The being's eyes glowed with an intense red light, and her skin split open. The scent and color of blood sprayed out at Rei, but she didn't look away. Beneath the skin, something else was emerging, taking place of her form. Her body cracked and grew, the limbs growing longer, the torso expanding, and the flesh beneath taking on a dark, purple and red hue. The flesh on her back opened up, and great wings extended from the wounds. She looked up at Rei, and smiled. Its face was still her own.
There was a scream, and Rei's world went black.
End Part 5
Author's Notes: Well, this chapter's a little short, but I had to save something to put in the next one. Things just keep getting weirder and weirder, eh? And my second chapter without a big Angel battle! Aren't you proud of me? I'm sure I'm not the only person out there who wanted to see Kensuke shine just a little. After all, he got such a bad treatment in the series. Kind of how I pictured Yoshi as a kid. At least he's not a self-insert original character. I've learned my lesson. Anyway, maybe now some of the mysteries can start to be answered, for those of you who aren't putting the pieces together very well. But don't hold your breath. I'm going to torture you guys for as long as I can! Well, that's enough of my babble. Remember, constructive reviews are always greatly appreciated. And any further flames, critics, death threats and rants that fanficiton.net doesn't have the bandwidth for can be sent to loneshark707@hotmail.com.
As a side note, a friend of mine had a dream after reading the first three chapters of this fic, about Evangelion clips set to the System of a Down song "Chop Suey!" Kinda fits, eh?
"I cry when angels deserve to die!"
--System of a Down, "Chop Suey!"
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Seraphim
by the Loneshark
Chapter 5: Subascendant
Kensuke couldn't move for several minutes. He didn't care if the guards were giving him funny looks. This was it. He'd been waiting for this. After working so hard for so long, it finally happened. He was going to go into NERV. He had been asked to come to NERV. And help. Him.
Come on, don't act like a kid, he thought. Just go in there, and do your thing. Show them.
He suddenly remembered his first day of school. For years he couldn't remember how it felt, but now he was pretty sure this must've been it.
He passed through the security checkpoint, and stepped in. At the top of a long escalator, Dr. Iwano was waiting for him. The older man looked at his watch. "So, right on time. I should've figured as much."
Kensuke stammered. "Um... Ken... Kensuke..."
Yoshi waved a hand. "Relax, Kensuke. I know who you are, for heaven's sake. Come on." They started down the escalator. Kensuke tried not to look over the edge. It made him a little dizzy. Yoshi leaned calmly against the rail. Kensuke suddenly noticed that he seemed to be a little upset. "Um, is something wrong, sir? I mean, Shinji asked me to come, if you don't need me, I guess, I can-"
"No, no. It's all right. Sorry, I was just thinking about something. You know when an author brings a supporting character into a main role just to fill in a plot gap?"
Kensuke laughed a little, feeling more relaxed. "Oh, yeah. I hate it when they do that."
Yoshi nodded grimly. "Me too."
Kensuke looked around nervously, but tried to keep his attention on Dr. Iwano as he was led through NERV's headquarters. It was every bit as monolithic as he'd imagined. Looking out what few windows there was gave him an expansive view of the GeoFront. He'd read everything he could get his hands on about this place, but standing here and seeing it with his own eyes made it all seem so unreal. Dr. Iwano was saying something, but he couldn't concentrate on it.
"Kensuke!" Yoshi yelled. The kid hadn't been paying attention to a word he'd said.
He jumped. "S-sorry! I... uh, well--."
Yoshi waved his hand again. "Forget it. At this point it's not that important anyway. You've read the report, right? I'm assuming Shinji gave it to you?"
"Um, yeah, I went over it last night. I couldn't believe it. It's supposed to be nearly impossible to break into NERV without knowing something about it, isn't it?"
"You'd be surprised," he muttered. "NERV's had its security problems in the past. Just never any quite so invasive, before. So, where's Misato? She said not to call her unless it was an emergency. She got another hangover?"
"No, she finally decided to move out of her apartment. Shinji told her about the place available underneath us."
Yoshi involuntarily cringed. "Asuka probably didn't like that."
"He's been in pain for the past couple of days. Too bad he and Touji got drafted for moving duty."
They came to a security door. Yoshi punched a code into the keypad, and then stepped inside. "Well, that's nothing compared to what we'll be doing." Kensuke followed him into a dim room. Most of the light came from computer monitors lining the far wall. Below it sat a desk piled with manuals, reports, old mugs, and a small colony of keyboards. Yoshi sat down, and at his slightest touch, the room came to life, like a wizard summoning lightning from a clear, still sky. He smiled at the expression on Kensuke's face. "Nice, eh?"
"I've never read anything about this. Is it something new?" He sat down in one of two chairs in front of the monitors.
Yoshi sat beside him. "Yes, it's my private database. I've put together everything I could scrape together about NERV, the Evas, the Magi; everything's here. I can disconnect from the rest of the system if I need to. This is the best place to start from."
Kensuke started typing at the keyboard. Yoshi sat back with a grin on his face. After a few moments, Kensuke had to look away, his eyes starting to swim. "Damn, it's making me dizzy."
"Yeah. I may not be as formative as the infamous Dr. Akagi, but I think this baby lets me keep up." He cracked his knuckles. "All right, let's get to work. The first thing we need to try is to restore the security logs in the terminals the intruder used. After that we can restructure the pathways and find out what he was looking for. The who and why will be a bit harder to answer."
Kensuke gulped, and looked back at the monolith. "I guess I won't be home in time for dinner."
"No." Yoshi silently went to work. Kensuke looked at him nervously, and then started.
***
"Damn it, look out!" There was a loud crash outside the door, followed by a scream. She couldn't tell if it was Shinji or Touji, but it sounded painful.
"You should have watched where you were stepping."
"That has nothing to do with it! You dropped it on my foot!"
"I'm sorry, all right? Just let me help-"
"No, don't move it-Ah!" Another scream.
"Sorry."
Rei turned to Asuka, who was helping Misato move the couch against the wall. "Shouldn't we be helping them bring things up the stairs?"
"Are you kidding me? Pushing things around inside's bad enough!" They put it in place with a final grunt of effort, and them collapsed.
Shinji and Touji walked in a second later carrying a large box, and dropped it, themselves falling after.
Shinji looked over at Misato breathlessly. "What the hell is in this thing?"
Misato peered at the box. "Oh, that's the first box of clothes."
"First?"
Touji rapped a fist on the top of the box. It was stuffed almost to the point of exploding. "What do you wear, lead vests?"
She stood up, and clapped her hands. "Enough complaining! No one rests until the job's done!" The two young men groaned, and proceeded back down to Misato's car, where most of her possessions were spilling out of the trunk.
"Ugh. She's a slave driver, I swear it." Touji led the way down. He hated this heat, and was trying to find something new to complain about.
"Come on, it's only a couple more boxes." Shinji tried to sound hopeful, but he knew he was fooling himself.
"And two tables, and the chairs, and the bed, and Pen Pen's ice box."
The penguin's head popped out of the back window, and squawked at him.
"Oh, no! Come on, out!" He opened the door, and pointed away. "Out! There's no way in hell we're moving you, too! You can waddle your own butt upstairs."
The penguin tried big, sad eyes, then angry eyes, and then finally settled for a yelling match.
Shinji stood back and watched them. He waved to Hikari as she walked up.
"Hey, Shinji! Sorry I'm late, I..." She watched her boyfriend and the penguin scream at each other. "Um, what's going on?"
"A battle of wits."
"Moving's going that badly, huh?"
He nodded pitifully. "Yeah."
"Well, you guys keep it up, and I'll make lunch."
"Great. Misato, Asuka and Rei are upstairs, unpacking the boxes."
"Thanks." She ran over and kissed Touji on the cheek. He paused, barely noticing it over his battle with Pen Pen. Hikari waved to them, and then ran up the stairs.
Shinji shook his head. "All right, come on. I want to get this done with. Let's take the bed up."
"I still don't she how she managed to fit it in this car." He pulled on one end while Shinji tried to push it on the opposite side.
"I think it's a girl thing. They do the same thing with the dish washer." With a final growl of effort, the bed popped out of the car, and landed on Touji. Shinji winced. "Sorry."
"Get it off me, now!"
***
The only reason Yoshi had thought to take a quick lunch break was because Kensuke reminded him that it was nearly lunch. He'd forgotten for the past two years that lunch existed for the rest of the world, having worked through so many of them. Still, it gave his a chance to refresh the coffee. Misato had made the last pot two days ago. That stuff could clean engines.
He looked at his watch. Where was that damn kid? He'd been given half an hour, and directions to the cafeteria. That was more than enough time! He was ten minutes late, costing them time that would be better spent on his investigation than gawking at the view. What had possessed him to listen to Shinji three days ago and agreed to let this kid help out, he'd never know.
He muttered and cursed his way back and forth from his office to the cafeteria, and finally just flipped through the security cameras when he didn't find him. It took a moment, but he managed to find him wandering around near Unit 01's holding cage. Why the hell hadn't anyone stopped him? He only had a temporary pass.
Yoshi growled, and made his way down there. He tried to calm himself. Maybe he was just being territorial? The kid wasn't that bad, and seemed to know what he was doing. But when he even got near a file about the Evas, he went into a completely different world. It had taken Yoshi months to compile the data they currently had, and they weren't any closer to figuring out how to upgrade the Evas themselves. The last thing he needed was some wide-eyed kid hitting the wrong damn button and ruining years of work.
When he reached the cage, Kensuke was already there. He stood in front of the Eva, staring up at it. Yoshi paused. The kid just... looked at it. Even from the door, he could make out Kensuke's expression. He approached slowly, studying the young man. The expression didn't actually look familiar, but it... felt familiar, like a half-remembered sensation from a dream.
Kensuke finally noticed him. "Oh, sorry. I just... I know I'm late. I just had to come here and see it."
"I thought you'd seen the Evangelions before?" He tried to remember the old reports. "You've even been inside Unit 01, right?"
"Well, yeah, but..." He looked back at it. "That was so long ago. And I've never really been able to get this good of a look at it."
Now Yoshi knew that look. It must have been the exact same expression he'd had the first time he saw an Eva this close up.
What the hell. Yoshi joined him in admiring the beast. Even he couldn't help it. It was something so awesome that it demanded notice. Many hated or feared it, but standing here, they could only feel a sense of awe at the achievement that was the Evangelion.
"You know," Kensuke said, "For the longest time I envied my own best friends. They're getting to do the kind of things I've only dreamed about. They get to actually be something other than just a couple of kids. They get to live it. I know they keep telling me it's not that great, and I've seen what it puts them through, but..."
"You just can't believe how tough they are," Yoshi said. "It's like they really have become something more than just humans."
"Yeah."
"Come on, the least we can do is find out who our intruder is." The two of them walked back to Yoshi's office without looking back at the Evangelion.
Kensuke said, "Shinji told me once that Unit 01 was different from the others, in that it was really alive. Is that true?"
"Well, it was."
"What does that mean?"
"It's complicated. The Evas, well at least Unit 01, have something that the only applicable term for it would be a soul, but it's not aware. It's like a slumbering monster. Unit 01 was the only one to awaken before the Third Impact. It hasn't shown any sign that it is awake since then."
Kensuke involuntarily shivered. Sometimes Touji or Shinji would tell him a little bit about what it was like to pilot an Eva. They'd describe the strange bond that occurs between an Eva and its pilot. It reacted to them, in ways that only they could really notice. They shared its pain, and it felt theirs. He found it hard to imagine how that would change if an Eva were to gain its own awareness. What sort of sanity could such a thing have, if one would dare to call it sanity?
Yoshi had an idea of what he was thinking. "Sorry you asked?" He nodded. "Try not to think about it. You'll just start to get a migraine. Let's just get this job over with, huh?"
"Yeah. Probably a safer job, anyway. Safer than what they're stuck doing right now," he laughed.
***
Shinji sat out on the balcony. Piloting an Eva was safer than this. It was also less terrifying. There were fewer surprises, and nothing spilled out of boxes. And your girlfriend didn't yell at you for being a pervert when panties spill out all over the place, and she catches you in that frozen moment when you're staring at them, trying to decide if you should pick them up.
Misato poked her head out of the apartment. "So this is where you're hiding?"
"Taking a break," he said. He leaned back in a chair, his eyes closed. "That was the agreement, wasn't it? Touji and I carry it up, you and the others unpack?"
"Yeah. Don't worry, she's not mad at you."
"I know. She's been like this for the past couple of days, ever since I told them about the sabotage."
She stepped out, and looked over the view. "Damn. How the hell did you guys find a place like this six months ago?"
"Wasn't easy."
"At least now I can see why you were so eager to start being paid. This place isn't cheap."
"Yeah, but they gave us a little discount when they found out that we're Evangelion pilots."
"Shinji! I wouldn't think you'd stoop to using your status for personal ends."
"I didn't. Touji and Kensuke did."
"Hm, right." She laughed.
He opened an eye. "You never did grow up, did you?"
She stared out at the city for a moment, and finally said, "Has Rei talked to you about what happened last time?"
"No. She hasn't said anything to me since her nightmare. You haven't talked to her, have you?"
"Only after you did. I haven't said anything to her about it since, either." Shinji twisted his head around to look back into the apartment. Misato looked at him. "I wouldn't, Shinji. It's something she has to face by herself."
He turned back. "I know. But... I hate just sitting by, Misato. She's practically my sister. She is my sister. I can't just let my friends be hurt by something like this. Even if we don't know what it is."
"I know how you feel, Shinji. I told her so. But I think this is something she has to face on her own. Whatever we do to figure out what's going on, we still have to face it individually."
Shinji sighed, and leaned back. "I know that. I think that's what's making Asuka so angry right now, too. She's just too stubborn to come out with it."
Misato laughed. "You two are too much alike."
He furrowed his brow. "You're the second person to tell me that this week. Mind filling me in on the joke?"
"Well, let's see. You both had the same fears."
"Had being the operative word."
"Quiet, I'm not done. You worry about the same things, just express it in the opposite ways. You're both orphans. You both like to argue when I'm trying to prove a point. You're my best pilots, and neither one of you lets things go very easily." She smiled at him. "I think that about sums it up."
"I hate it when I can't tell if you're being serious or not."
She frowned. "And neither one of you will lighten up when I say to!"
Touji appeared in the doorway, holding a cup. "Hey, what are you two doing out here?"
"Just talking. What's in that?"
"This?" He held up the cup. "Ice water. Why?"
"Can I have that for a moment?" She took the cup without waiting for a reply.
Shinji yelled as he was hit by the shock of ice cold water falling on his head.
***
Kensuke rubbed his eyes. This wasn't anywhere as easy as he thought it would be. The saboteur had gone into places that were damn near impossible to hack into. It would take much longer than the small amount of time Yoshi assumed that the saboteur had possessed. Of course they already knew that.
That must have been why the guy had been covering his tracks so well. Only someone who knew the passes could have gotten through. They were only fortunate that Yoshi set the system to back up all data that went into it.
Kensuke looked blearily at the mug of coffee set in front of him. He looked up at Yoshi.
"Here," he said. "It's my own brew, better than Misato's. Her coffee could put hair on your chest."
Kensuke smiled. "Thanks. What time is it?" He sipped his coffee.
Yoshi leaned back. "Almost midnight. Maya, Shigeru, and a few members of the security staff are probably the only ones besides us still here. It's not an easy job, I'll give it that." He looked at the screen. "So, you found the reports on our attempts to upgrade the Evas?"
"Um, yeah, I'm sorry. I know it's classified, but I-"
Yoshi waved his hand. "It's fine, Kensuke. I figured you'd run across those sooner or later."
"Yeah. I don't really understand the terminology, but I can basically get what you're talking about. But..."
"What is it?"
"You mentioned in the beginning of your report that the Eva's are something more than biological constructs; that parts of them actually came from something else. What does that mean?"
Yoshi took a deep breath. "That's the censored version of the report. Only Misato and your friends have seen the real report. Of course I had to explain to them what it basically meant. The Evas were given something... the closest thing that it can be thought of is a soul. In some ways, they resemble humans. I believe that the Evas may in fact be a new form of human being."
Kensuke listened, trying to put it together. "But, that would mean that the Angels..." He looked at Yoshi.
"The Angels are much more than that. The Evas appear to be somewhere in between. Of course even I'm not sure about all of this. Unit 01 was part of the complex key to starting Instrumentality. It would all be a lot less frustrating if I could ask Gendo Ikari or Ritsuko Akagi."
"So your saying that the problems come from dealing with the Evas accepting the changes you're trying to make to them?"
Yoshi looked up at the young man, and smiled. "Well, you really are rather bright. Yes, that's the big part of it. Misato told me once that without a pilot, the Evas are nothing more than over-powered monsters. Part of NERV's focus in these days is trying to deal with not just the Angels, but lessening the danger it created in using the Evas as weapons."
Kensuke turned back to the monitors, but couldn't focus on them. "When you put it that way, it makes the Eva series sound like something out of a nightmare."
"Someone's nightmare, I'm sure. But the possibilities that could be opened up if we figured out how to put the Evas to rest while retaining their power, or channeling it into something that wasn't destructive; that would make everything we've done here worth it."
Kensuke half sighed, and half laughed. "Misato said you were an idealist."
"Yeah, I admit to that. So, how did you come across those reports? You weren't straying from the objective, were you?"
He shook his head. "No, sir. Actually, I think it's one of the things the saboteur was looking for."
"Really?" Yoshi sat down at his chair on the other side of the desk. "Show me."
"Well, after going through everything we could reconstruct, I saw how it could only have been someone who knows NERV procedures and pass codes. Either they're already familiar with it, or they knew how to get it. Either way, this data is one of the things they were after. I've been tracing a few other data paths, and I can't be sure yet, but I think he or she was also going for data on the Angels and Instrumentality."
Yoshi looked over the data, then said, "Good work, Kensuke. The more we find out about what they were looking for, the more likely well be able to found out who did this. All right, let's get back to work."
***
He was sweating. It wasn't because he was nervous. Years of training to be one of the best spies in the world didn't leave room for one to be nervous. Not while on a job. It was the humidity all the way down here. Yeah. That's what he kept telling himself.
There was no choice. This is what he had to do. And if he got caught? Well, it probably didn't matter, anymore. He knew that he was rapidly becoming inconsequential. Just one more job, and that would be it. He'd have nothing left but to sit back and watch it all play out.
He started, going in the back doors that only a handful of people knew about. He had been trained by the best before coming to NERV. Ikari had made him better. Ikari had made them all exactly what he wanted them to be.
He wondered for a moment if this was something the old man had thought of. He'd seemed to foresee everything else. It wouldn't have surprised him if Ikari had planned all of this from the beginning, or at least knew this was a possible consequence of his actions.
The Keel brat probably knew. Or at least had an idea.
As he thought these things, he lost focus for only a fraction of a second. In the crucial moment between action and thought, he'd slipped.
And now he was expendable.
***
The alert signal suddenly flashed in the corners of the monitors. Kensuke tried to avoid spewing his coffee everywhere.
"S-sir, I think there's something going on."
Yoshi looked at the symbol on the screen, then smiled. "So, he's back."
"What?"
Yoshi picked up the phone. "Security, this is Dr. Iwano. We have an intruder in block seventeen. Close off all exits, and sections nine through twenty. He won't have any escape routes. Don't hit the alarm until I say otherwise. No, no. Just wait." He put the phone down.
"Um, sir, shouldn't we-?"
"No." Yoshi watched the screen. "Just monitor him. I want to see what he's after this time."
Kensuke watched the hacker at work. "Well, it looks like he's using the same methods. Wait... where is he going?"
Yoshi silently watched. Then he said, "The Magi. He's going to the Magi. They're tied into the whole city, but they won't let you in unless you come to them. They're pushy bitches." He blinked. "What the...?"
Kensuke stared, his mouth hanging open. "But... why are they letting him in? He's not forcing his way."
"I've never seen these pass codes before. Where's he going?" He picked the phone up again. "It's Iwano. Hit the alarm, now." The lights in the room went red, and klaxons blared in their ears. "Thanks. I'll be right down."
Kensuke turned in his chair, unsure of what to do. "Um, Dr. Iwano, what should I--?"
Yoshi pushed a gun into his hand. "You know how to use this?" He nodded dumbly. "Good. Watch what he does. I need someone to figure out what he's after. Use the gun only if he comes near here, got it?" He ran out of the room without waiting for an answer.
Kensuke turned back to the monitors, and tried to stop shaking. This was real. He couldn't believe it. This wasn't anything like the cartoons he'd watched as a kid. This was really happening. He tried to calm himself, and watch what the intruder was doing.
He was going for... What were those? Old files?
Kensuke put the gun aside, with the safety on, and turned the security cameras on. He knew which terminal was being accessed. It was clear as day on the screen in front of him.
The view on the other monitors changed to various sections of NERV HQ. Where the hell was he? Kensuke looked over them, and smiled when he found him. A figure hunched over an access terminal. He worked quickly, using a palm computer that he'd wired into the terminal. Not even the alarm disturbed him.
Kensuke turned back to the other screen, and watched him work. Where was he going? The Magi complied data. Did they actually hold anything?
Kensuke watched, and saw what the intruder was looking for. He looked back to the security monitor. That was it! That explained a few things, at least.
He looked up. On another monitor, Dr. Iwano and a security team were making their way down. The intruder was already finished. He'd been too fast for them. He ran through the halls, and was met by sealed doors. Security would be there within moments. He looked caught.
He opened up an access panel next to the door, punched in a code, and opened it. Kensuke stared. Damn it! Why didn't they move faster? He looked around.
"How the hell am I supposed to call them?" He punched a couple of keys. He slipped. "No, damn it! Wait!" He brought up a schematic for HQ. He sighed with frustration. "Damn it, he's going around them. Turn around! Turn around!" He realized how ridiculous he must sound, shouting at a screen.
He couldn't just sit here and let them miss him. The bastard would be gone by then.
Kensuke watched the monitor for a second, then back at the schematic. He knew where the intruder was headed. It would be an obvious exit. Dr. Iwano would probably figure it out, but by then it would be too late.
He looked from the screen to the gun, and back again.
He fixed his security pass on the front of his shirt, grabbed the gun, and ran to head the intruder off.
***
He was running, now. Running for his life. It was all he had left. If he got caught, then he would be dead for sure. His partner would see to that. If he got away, then maybe he could find something worth wasting his time on. Something to just pass away the few days, maybe weeks he had left. If there was even that much time left.
If it wasn't on its way here already. He'd lost track of it. It could be anywhere, now. It would be here, eventually, but not yet, perhaps. Just perhaps.
And maybe it didn't matter, anyway. That's what the frightening bastard had told him, when they started this. Nothing except this would matter. Not the murders, not the destruction, and not even their own deaths would matter, if this worked.
In the end, maybe none of it would matter, even if it did work.
Yoshi led the security team down to the corridor where they'd trapped the intruder. Typically, he was not considered a brave man, but he took his job, and the protection of NERV, very seriously. Misato had seen this before, and it only vindicated her choice in hiring him; it made the security staff nervous when he got like this. He only had a revolver, but there'd been rumors that he was taking lessons form Misato, and was a very good shot. The look on his face was reason enough for the security team to stay out of his way.
When they came to the security doors blocking off the intruder's escape, Yoshi tensed. He'd never really fired a gun at a living person, before. Cardboard targets were entirely different.
One of the security members opened the door. The realization that the intruder was gone didn't quite hit anyone until the door fully opened, allowing them to see clearly down the corridor. Yoshi stared, and then cursed.
"Sir, should we...?"
Yoshi didn't hear the security officer. He was thinking of where the intruder could have gone. He walked up to the access panel at the next door. It had been used, so the intruder knew the security codes. Where could he go to escape? The fastest way out...
"Come on," Yoshi said. "We don't have time to double back, we'll have to keep going. Hurry." The long nights of overtime had given Yoshi a surprisingly healthy endurance. The security team had a little difficulty keeping up.
There it was. The emergency exit from the main control room. No one would guess that he'd actually go further down into NERV just to get out. But the GeoFront is vast. He could make his way out without ever being found. It would take several days, but at least he'd be free.
"Freeze!" The man stopped, and turned. Kensuke was panting, almost out of breath, but he'd made it. He hoped he could keep the gun pointed at the man. The damn thing was heavy!
The man looked at him with cold blue eyes, but didn't move. "So, NERV is still in the practice of hiring children to do its real work?"
Kensuke stood straight. "Freeze means don't move, and don't speak."
The man didn't move. The kid wasn't shaking, but in his eyes, he was nervous. Even if he didn't really plan on shooting, he might accidentally squeeze the trigger, out of fatigue and nerves.
But Kensuke didn't feel any fatigue. If he had, it was washed away by blood and adrenaline. He couldn't help but think of how many movies he'd seen with this exact scene in them. He tried not to shake. He could see and hear everything. His senses were open to his heartbeat, and that of the man standing before him. He started to wish it would just shut up.
To hell with this. It was just a kid. He couldn't live with himself if a damn kid had caught him. He could move faster. He'd been trained for it.
Kensuke saw the man's hand slowly move towards his jacket. "I said don't move!"
"You're not going to shoot me. Relax, kid. No one will blame you. I'm a professional."
Kensuke didn't answer. He pulled back the hammer on the gun.
Idiot.
There was a flash of light, and the sound of a gun.
"Sir!" The security officer stopped Yoshi. "There's been a report of the sound of gunfire in the Central Dogma emergency exit shaft."
"It's all right, that's where we're headed." Yoshi blinked, and put it together. "Damn it! Come on!"
They moved even faster. Yoshi couldn't believe this. That kid. That damned, stupid kid! Was he trying to get himself killed? He'd been told to stay in the office. That meant you stayed in the office. You didn't run off after an intruder. That's how people get killed.
The exit shaft was just up ahead. As they neared it, a figure could be made out, standing over a fallen body. It was Kensuke. He stood over the intruder, his gun pointed at the man. The intruder's gun was against the wall. Kensuke had kicked it away. Yoshi and the security team froze for a second, giving themselves time to take in the scene, and try to believe it. They surrounded the intruder, who only laid back on the ground, staring up. He was bleeding from his shoulder. Yoshi reached down, and pulled the man's palm computer out of his pocket.
"Heh. I imagine you must be feeling pretty bad right now, eh? Beaten by a kid. No offense, Kensuke. All right, get him out of here."
The security team picked him up, along with his gun. He shouted as they grabbed him under the arm, but none of them really seemed to care. Yoshi watched them carry him away. Kensuke stood rock still, looking out at the open end of the shaft.
"Well, I can't believe it. You actually stopped him. Kensuke? Kensuke?" The young man didn't move. "Um, are you all right?"
He fell to his knees, and let out a long breath of air. Yoshi laughed. After a few moments of re-teaching him how to breathe, he said, "I... I didn't think I'd make it, really. I saw him reach for his gun, and I..."
"It was just a flash of light, right?" Kensuke looked up at him, and nodded. He helped him up. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's your first time to shoot someone in the arm."
Kensuke was led away, his arms still shaking. "Yeah. I stopped him, didn't I?"
"Yeah, yeah, we won't go over that part. You should probably start breathing again, before you fall over."
***
Everyone stayed at Misato's for dinner. Asuka finally lightened up after a few beers, and had to be dragged back to her apartment by Hikari. Shinji and Touji eventually left, drinking to sooth the pangs of abandonment. It was funny seeing them like this. Of course it wasn't the most mature way to act, and Misato doubted at one point if it was at all realistic, she let it go. They deserved a chance to let go, once in a while.
Rei was the only one sober enough to stay and help clean up. She washed the dishes while Misato took out the garbage, and was alone for a few minutes. It was nice, she thought, to be able to relax. Even if it was ordered, and didn't make their problems go away, it was nice to just forget they existed, if only for a little while. It gave her time to think about how to handle them.
Why did you kill it?
She almost dropped the dish she was drying off. This couldn't happen. It wasn't real.
Avoiding the problem won't make it go away. Now answer the question.
"You're dead," she told... herself? It?
You should read more. Angels don't die. We have no conception of life and death. There is only purpose.
"Your purpose is over. You failed. Now go away."
You killed it. It came to you for purpose. Is this what you've become, Rei? Will you kill everything that tries to help you escape this fragile, futile existence?
"It is not futile. I will not believe that old lie. Leave me alone!"
It is in everything's nature to fulfill its purpose. When it has no purpose, it must seek one out, or cease to exist. Will you condemn them for that? You yourself sought purpose, once. Help them.
"They are Angels. They only care about destruction. They don't care who they hurt in the process."
It is simply the way things are.
"That's an excuse! They hurt Ikari, and Asuka, and Suzuhara! They just wanted Adam. They just wanted destruction."
Destruction is the ultimate fate of everything. It does not matter when it comes, except that a purpose has been fulfilled before that time comes. You took that away from it. You killed it before it even had a chance to-
"To what? Take my soul? My Self? I will not let that happen again. No matter what, and you can not force me."
You will choose. It's inevitable.
Misato walked back in, stretching. Why didn't this place have a garbage chute, or something? It's so much trouble to drag the trash all the way down...
"Rei?" The girl stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring into space. Misato waved her hand in front of her. She didn't respond. "Rei, come on." She shook her. "Rei, please, wake up." She still didn't respond. Misato grabbed her shoulders, and looked into her eyes. They were huge, and glazed over. "Damn it, Rei, snap out of it!"
She was in the room where she was born, hundreds of feet beneath the earth. This was the first place that had been etched into her mind. It's images and hues were a part of her psyche as much as the impressions from the woman who was her genetic mother. Yui Ikari.
"And this is the place where it began." She turned. Kaworu stood behind her. "This is where it was decided that you would be like me."
"I am not like you. What happened here doesn't matter anymore."
"What happened here was supposed to be the way to the future for mankind, and it failed. Gendo Ikari believed in making a new world where there would be no pain. Where no one would die." He locked eyes with her. "You were the key to that dream."
"I am not that person, anymore. That dream was something never destined to happen."
"You believed in it."
She looked down. "No. I... I believed in him. I had nothing else."
"And what do you have now?"
She smiled. "Friends. People who I care for, and who care for me in return."
"You believe in these bonds?"
"Yes."
He was in front of her, close enough for her to feel his breath. She looked at him, unafraid. "You were like me," he said. "You learned how to be human, how to find meaning in existence beyond narrow purpose."
"I was always human, and I am not like you, anymore. They can't affect me, Kaworu. I won't believe it. Is that the only reason you're here? To tell me what... it said? That I am not who I choose to be? If you are, I won't believe it. Asuka and Ikari won't believe it. Misato and Suzihara won't, either. I am who I say I am."
He smiled at her, in the same way he always smiled. It was a gentle expression that made you believe he was really listening to you. She wondered if it was as genuine as it seemed.
"No, Rei. I am here to warn you." He looked to his left, to the bench. She followed his gaze.
The thing that sat there was her, but not her. It was part of her, she knew. That part which was thought to have burned away. That part that craved a purpose, that sought to take into itself everything it felt was lost and incomplete. That part of herself that was Adam, the father and mother of the Angels.
The being sat hunched over herself, clutching her stomach. It seemed to be in pain, but when it looked up at her, it was smiling.
Kaworu spoke. "You used the Children of Lilith, the demons, to defeat the Angels. Then you used your own wills to stop Instrumentality to take control of your own destiny. What you did not realize was that there would be consequences. For every path to the future that closes, another possibility opens up."
The being's eyes glowed with an intense red light, and her skin split open. The scent and color of blood sprayed out at Rei, but she didn't look away. Beneath the skin, something else was emerging, taking place of her form. Her body cracked and grew, the limbs growing longer, the torso expanding, and the flesh beneath taking on a dark, purple and red hue. The flesh on her back opened up, and great wings extended from the wounds. She looked up at Rei, and smiled. Its face was still her own.
There was a scream, and Rei's world went black.
End Part 5
Author's Notes: Well, this chapter's a little short, but I had to save something to put in the next one. Things just keep getting weirder and weirder, eh? And my second chapter without a big Angel battle! Aren't you proud of me? I'm sure I'm not the only person out there who wanted to see Kensuke shine just a little. After all, he got such a bad treatment in the series. Kind of how I pictured Yoshi as a kid. At least he's not a self-insert original character. I've learned my lesson. Anyway, maybe now some of the mysteries can start to be answered, for those of you who aren't putting the pieces together very well. But don't hold your breath. I'm going to torture you guys for as long as I can! Well, that's enough of my babble. Remember, constructive reviews are always greatly appreciated. And any further flames, critics, death threats and rants that fanficiton.net doesn't have the bandwidth for can be sent to loneshark707@hotmail.com.
As a side note, a friend of mine had a dream after reading the first three chapters of this fic, about Evangelion clips set to the System of a Down song "Chop Suey!" Kinda fits, eh?
"I cry when angels deserve to die!"
--System of a Down, "Chop Suey!"