CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: COMFORT

Tara found Buffy huddled, leaning against a wall, her body shuddering with sobs.  Tara sat beside her gently, Buffy not even realising that someone had sat beside her.  Tara could hear the Slayer muttering something under her breath, and after a few moments, Tara finally worked out what it was.

"Giles."

Tara felt her heart break, and she knew within herself that she and Willow were completely over.  She couldn't go back to Willow ever again.  Not after this.

Tara just held the blonde Slayer tightly as Buffy cried her heart out.  Tara gently slipped Buffy's ring back onto her ring finger, that Slayer barely even registering the presence of the witch, let alone the ring.

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It took nearly an hour for Buffy to calm herself down enough to realise that Tara was there beside her.  She offered the blonde witch a shaky watery smile.

"Thanks Tara," Buffy whispered.

"You're welcome."

Buffy finally saw the ring on her finger and closed her eyes in almost physical pain.  She removed it gently and looked at it as though seeing it for the first time.

"You think he'll want this back?" Buffy asked, her voice barely even a whisper.

Tara swallowed hard and just gently held Buffy's hand, trying to offer comfort to the girl.

"He'll understand," Tara assured her.

Buffy gave a short sad laugh.

"Understand?  How can I expect him to understand that I…that I fucked Spike before he and I even had a chance to be together?"

Tara winced at the harsh language and the realisation that Buffy and Giles had yet to take their relationship further.  She hadn't realised that Buffy and Giles hadn't been sleeping together.  Somehow, it made all of it seem that much worse.

"It wasn't your fault," Tara told her.

"Then why does it feel like it is?" Buffy asked sadly.

"Willow did this," Tara said.  "It was her spell that did this to all of us.  You couldn't have known."

"I shouldn't have just assumed," Buffy said.  "We were practically strangers and we slept together anyway."

"You thought you were together.  You thought you were engaged," Tara said.

"That doesn't matter," Buffy said.  "It shouldn't have happened."

"He'll forgive you," Tara assured her.

"I know he will and he shouldn't have to!  It shouldn't have happened."

The Slayer wiped away angry tears and stood up.  Tara slowly followed in Buffy's footsteps and pulled herself to her feet.

"You should go and talk to him," Tara said quietly.

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to keep herself steady.

"How can I expect him to even look at me now?" Buffy questioned.  "How can I ask him to touch me after what I did?"

"Buffy, you didn't sleep with Spike.  Joan slept with William," Tara said.

"And Joan's body is still my body, and William is still Spike.  No matter how you look at it, Buffy and Spike still slept together."

Tara sighed, knowing that there was no way that Buffy was going to accept that this hadn't been her fault.  Tara knew enough about the Slayer o know that she wouldn't let anyone help her bear the weight of the world that rested on her shoulders. 

"Do you love Giles?" Tara asked.

"Of course I do," Buffy replied.  "With everything I have.  I've loved him for years."

"And does he love you?"

"He shouldn't have to," Buffy whispered miserably.

"But does he anyway?" Tara asked. 

Buffy thought about it and nodded.  Even if she'd slept with Spike while she'd been herself, Giles probably would have found a way to excuse her behaviour and forgive her for it.  That was how her Watcher worked.  He forgave without question, even when he shouldn't have had to.

"He loves you, Buffy," Tara whispered comfortingly.  "Above everything else, he loves you.  And you love him.  It's not very often that two people are meant to be together the way that you and Giles are meant to be."

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to imagine what she could possibly say to Giles to make things better between them.  All she could think of doing was curling herself up in his arms and letting him hold her until neither of them had any breath left in their bodies.  She wanted to be with him until she died for the final time.  And as selfish as it may have been, she wasn't willing to give that up for anything.

She stood quickly, afraid that she would lose the nerve to go back to the house if she didn't move quickly.  Tara smiled and stood as well, watching as the Slayer purposefully replaced the engagement ring on her finger and the two friends set back towards Revello Drive.

(Soooo short, and not a lot going on, but it was taking too fricken long to get written.  Figured I should just start a new chapter right about here.  My apologies both for the length of this instalment and the length of time it took for me to update!)

Thank you to all ppl who have reviewed and emailed me about this fic!  You're all groovy!

Toodles.

K.