A/N: I'm sort of disappointed in this chapter because, in my opinion, it's a mean cliffhanger. D Oh, well. I know, after reading this, you'll have to read the rest! —Andrea

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"Succumb Intoxication"

by ; andrea

x . c h a p t e r t w o

; backhanded

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Obi-Wan Kenobi woke up the later that day, to feel nothing. Any trace of emotion was wiped from his presence. After thinking, after knowing, that what he had done, what he was doing, was not right, he decided that it was his emotions that were irking his master. If he had just known sooner, earlier, he could have changed it. And his master would be proud of him for at least a few moments.

After changing into a clean set of clothes, he made his way into the refresher unit to cleanse the wounds on his wrists and arms. He let the water soothe this bruised and flawed skin. Letting all the dry blood completely fade from his arms and wrists, he turned the faucet off and dried his skin.

He would apologize to his master for his childish behavior. He was fifteen. He was not supposed to act this way.

Making his way out of his room, he stepped out into the hallway, walking towards the kitchen. His mouth was very dry and if he were to talk his voice would come out hoarse.

Taking a glass of stim tea in his hand, he sipped quietly, waiting for his master to notice he was in the kitchen. The liquid soothed his throat just slightly, but it had felt good. He closed his eyes for a few moments, just sipping at his tea. The temperature felt cool against his arms with his sleeves pulled up. He shivered slightly, letting half of his mouth curve into a crooked smile.

Obi-Wan turned around, setting his glass on the table. His master stood behind him, waiting for him to say something.

As if on cue, Obi-Wan opened his mouth and looked at his master straight in the eye. "Master, tell me, now. What is it that you dislike in me?" He shouldn't be probing into his master like this. He should be apologizing.

Qui-Gon stared at the boy, folding his arms across his chest. He knew exactly how to answer this question, so he said it. "You succumb to your emotions far too much and far too quickly."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened and he stood up from the table. He jerked a thumb at his own chest. "Me? Give into my emotions? Master, I don't even know how to deal with my emotions! You never taught me anything about myself!" He was surprised at his tone of voice. He didn't mean to yell...

"I what? Are you saying I'm not a good master?"

Obi-Wan furrowed his eyebrows. He couldn't take it much longer. All the impassive looks; all these impassive words, they annoyed the boy so much—and right now, that wasn't how he was supposed to be feeling! Right now, he was supposed to be apologizing to his master for being such a fool! And here he was, being such a fool!

"Yes, I am!" he said, taking a step forward. "You're not a good master! I don't care about whatever happened to you before I came—before you... before you were forced to have me in your life because you—you don't care about me! I'm sick of trying to smile for you every moment... I'm sick of trying to make you feel better when really, you're killing me!"

"I'm killing you?" Qui-Gon muttered fiercely. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, you've been killing me every since you I took you in as my padawan! I was forced to have you as a padawan! No one would take you!"

Obi-Wan swallowed hard, taking a step back, bumping into the table. That last remark had hurt.

"I know no one wanted me," he tried to yell, but it came out as a whisper. "You only took me because Mace said so. Mace pitied me! They all pitied me! If you didn't want me, why didn't you say so!? I could be long gone from here—probably someplace where pitiful Jedi—I'm not even a Jedi!—kids go! Qui-Gon Jinn," the boy said, not using a respectful tone at all. "If I've always disgusted you so much. Just throw me away! Just throw me away like everyone else!"


"I would if I could! Believe me, I would."

Obi-Wan choked on his breath. He clenched his teeth together, trying to hide the anger that was beginning to boil in his blood. He shook his head, narrowing his eyes at his master. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it. He meant it!

"When I woke up today. I said I would apologize. When you answered me so coldly, I regretted even thinking of apologizing to you. What's the point!? I'd gain no respect from you anyway." He paused, letting out a breath through his clenched teeth. "What did I expect from a Jedi, anyway?" he spat.

That was absolutely the last draw. Qui-Gon was in front of the boy in seconds.

Obi-Wan felt his master's hand against his face in a hard slap.

His head was jerked to the side, his eyes staring at the floor. He didn't move from his position, not a muscle moved. His eyes only trailed their way up to look at his master, who was still standing in front of him, his eyes raving, but full of confusion.

Obi-Wan was breathing hard. He tilted his head back, and straightened his back to look as confident as he could. He gulped, his eyes flinching. His voice was cracked. "I loved you too, Qui-Gon." Dry sarcasm.

Before he could say anything at all, his apprentice was out of the room and he heard the door slam down with an airy sound.

- - -

He didn't know where he was going, but he was definitely going away from the temple. He was obviously, obviously, obviously not wanted there. He was still weak from the poison that was gone from his veins and he felt as if he could fall asleep right where he was, in mid-stride.

But he wouldn't. He stopped running when he reached a small diner. It seemed welcoming enough. The rain was pelting down on his clothes and skin as he stared at the door. After a few moments of contemplating whether or not to go in, he decided it wouldn't do any harm so he opened the door. Realizing the place was slightly crowded and very loud, he felt suddenly better. He didn't want to bring attention to himself.

Sitting down at a booth alone, he buried his face in his hands and sobbed loudly. It was a sob that was a cross between a choke and a moan that lasted only a few moments. His cheek was sore from where Qui-Gon had slapped him. He was thankful that the place was so noisy that no one noticed his sobs.

Gulping down a gasp of air, he wiped his face with his sleeves and straightened his tunic. He was being pitiful. But that was because he was pitiful.

Suddenly, he noticed an odd-looking droid scooted over to the edge of the table.

"Care to order, kid?"

"Corellian liquor. Blue."

"Would tha' be all?"

"Yes," he said quietly, trying to regain his steady composure. He found it slightly easier, for some reason, to hide his emotions back to where they belonged—in the back of his mind. "That'd be all."

"Thanks. Oh, and cheer up. I'm sure she didn't mean it," the droid said. It was an unusual droid that had a few human characteristics.

Obi-Wan couldn't help but crack an odd grin at the droid's remark as it scooted away.

Staring out the window for a few moments, he watched the hover cars buzz by and the various aliens and humans alike mingle with each other as they passed. He liked where he was. The inhabitants of this level of Coruscant were friendly. Obi-Wan, for the first time, appreciated how many people were on Coruscant.

"Here's your drink, kid. Don't try to get too intoxicated."

Obi-Wan would drink himself senseless if he wanted too. Qui-Gon wouldn't care. Waving his hand lazily, signaling for the droid to get on its way, he stared down at the blue drink and sloshed it around in its cup for a moment before placing it to his lips. He gulped down the drink so fast that he couldn't even taste it.

Right at that moment, he felt his eyesight get hazy. He figured that was all he could take. The effects of the drink would be far worse than he would've imagined because of how fast it had hit him.

He placed a small amount of credits on the table from his pocket and stood up queasily. He stumbled towards the door and tried to open it when he felt a hand grip on his arm. He whirled around, now seeing nothing but blurred figures.

"Obi-Wan? Are you all right?"

He recognized the voice immediately. It was Midii Vesper tried to concentrate on her figure, trying to make sure it really was her, despite the blurred image he saw.

"I saw you walk in here... And you didn't show up at the café a few days ago," her voice suddenly morphed into something terrible... something deep and fiendish, "when you said you'd take the day off for Jiro and me and we'd go out to the café."

"Midii? No, Sith... get out of my way!" he was whispering horribly through his hoarse voice as he backed up into the door. It opened and he stumbled out of the crowded café.

He heard her voice call out after him, and this time, it sounded like her voice.

"Kenobi! Where do you think you're going?!" she hollered as she shoved past the people and aliens trying to catch onto Obi-Wan's sleeve as he backed away farther. "You're going to fall—"

Obi-Wan felt his sleeve get pulled and he was jerked away from the rail that he was leaning against.

"No!" he squeaked quickly as he felt himself collapse in her grasp. He blacked out—unconscious.

"Obi-Wan? Kenobi!? Kenobi, do you hear me?" She growled between her teeth. How could he drink that stuff? What would his master have to say about this? Shifting him in her grasp, she hung one of his arms over her shoulder and limped towards her speeder. She decided to take him back to the temple.

- - -

Obi-Wan awoke, opening his eyes, feeling a soft, but cold touch on his forehead. His eyes drifted halfway shut once again, knowing the two people sitting beside him.

"Kenobi, what have you gotten yourself into this time?" Midii sighed to herself, turning the wet piece of cloth over on his forehead.

"Has something been bothering you, Obi?" asked another cool voice. It was the voice of Jiro Kei. "We haven't seen you around lately and it's been pretty dull..." he said, pulling on Obi-Wan's braid gingerly. Jiro had been a close relative of the Kei Pirates, an infamous group of smugglers that were located near Nar Shadaa, but always on the move. Jiro was very strong in the force so the Jedi council wanted to take him in. The pirates did not resist. They seemed happy to remove the boy from their presence.

He was a troublemaker.

"Me? No, of course not," Obi-Wan said dryly as he turned to his friends.

Obi-Wan realized he wasn't in his quarters, but Jiro's. He thanked the Force for that. He couldn't face his master right now.

"Kenobi," Midii said quietly as she put her elbows on her knees and stared at the boy that lay on Jiro's sleep-couch. "I saw you walk into the diner. You... well, you didn't look to good." She put her chin in her hands.

"I know."

"Wanna talk about it?" Jiro asked, sitting down beside Midii.

"No," Obi-Wan simply answered, closing his eyes. Why did they have to yell? "And please, stop yelling."

Midii looked over at Jiro questionably and then back at Obi-Wan. "We're not yelling."

Obi-Wan's eyebrow flinched and then he rolled over, turning his back to his two friends. There was a long silence that passed over them before Midii placed a hand on his spiky hair.

"All right, Kenobi," she said, patting his head softly, exaggerating her kindness. "But I don't know how long we can stall Master Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan's head jerked up, sending a huge wave of blood rushing into his head. He turned to Midii and Jiro.

"What? He's coming? Here?"

"Well, my master said to inform him... We tried to say no..." Jiro smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"I ... I've got to get out of here."

Obi-Wan got to his feet and stumbled forward. Jiro caught him by his padawan braid and yanked Obi-Wan in front of him. "Where do you think you're going, Obi?"

"Away from here," he muttered, his eyes beginning to sting.

"Obi-Wan, please," Midii begged.

For the first time in quite a long while, Obi-Wan turned to Midii and just stared at her. She was a pale skinned human. Her short black hair was pulled into two braided buns on the sides of her head and a few strands of hair lay on her face. Tucked behind her ear and draping over her shoulder was her padawan braid. She had light gray eyes and wore a dark blue tunic that contrasted her eyes greatly. Under her tunic she wore a long, baggy-sleeved gray shirt that had been tied tightly around her wrists and baggy around her hands. She wore dark, almost black, blue pants that hung slightly over her boots, but were tucked in.

Midii seemed to shift under Obi-Wan's heavy stare and she looked over to Jiro for some sort of help.

"Just. Leave me alone," he said quietly as he shoved away from Jiro and stormed out of the room.

After the two heard the door shut quietly, Jiro turned to Midii. "He's hurting."

"I know," Midii said.

"I could sense it through the Force."

"I saw it in his stare."

"He needs to talk to someone." Jiro looked towards Midii, locking his brown eyes with her gray ones.

"I'll do it."

- - -

Obi-Wan plopped down in front of a fountain in the temple gardens. He pressed his finger against the bruise that was on his cheekbone. Qui-Gon had hit him hard. And his friends weren't helping either. He leaned his head against the stone edge of the fountain and let out a deep breath. His hangover seemed to be getting worse. His stomach, no matter how empty of food it was, seemed like it could creep right up his throat.

He choked out a sob and pressed his hands against his face. No, he would not cry again. He was sick of crying. He was sick of feeling sorry for himself. His finger brushed against the bruise in his cheek and he grimaced.

The bruise stung.

And so did his eyes from the tears that were threatening to fall.

Suddenly, he felt a presence next to him. He recognized it once again.

"Midii. Will you just leave me alone?"

He felt her fingers brush against the bruise on his cheek. "What happened?"

He turned away from her, frowning at the touch.

"Nothing."

"Kenobi. You've changed... What's wrong? Jiro said he wouldn't even know if it was you we saw at the diner if you still didn't look the same. And we ... saw you crying. Terribly."

Obi-Wan turned completely, hiding his face from Midii.

"Obi-Wan," she said quietly as she held onto his shoulders and turned his face to look at her. "Obi-Wan, what happened?" she asked again, this time in a whisper as she placed her fingers on his cheek.

He tried to look at her without crying. He tried to turn his head but she wouldn't let him move.

"He..." he closed his eyes, leaning close to her. "Qui-Gon, he..." He suddenly drifted into her embrace and sobbed quietly, choking on some of his gasps.

"Obi-Wan, what did he do? Did he do this?"

She wrapped her arms around him a little tighter and stroked his hair, rocking him back and forth like a mother would to her baby.

"I deserved it, though, Midii. I was such a jerk. He—he said... he didn't want me. He doesn't need me, you know. I'm useless to him—to the Jedi."

"No," she said quietly as she held him tighter. "You're not useless. If it wasn't for you, Jiro would've been banned from the temple—stripped of his Jedi powers—because of the stupid pranks he caused and that you covered up for... If it wasn't for you, I'd probably not be here either."

"I'm useless to him, the only one I want to be someone, anyone for... I told him today. I told him that he was... he was a bad master. He's not, Midii! He's not!"

Obi-Wan jerked away from her, staring at her straight in the eye.

"He's not a bad master at all! It's me—I'm the bad padawan. I can't do anything right for him. Did you hear about what happened to me at the lower levels? It was pitiful! I felt like a two-year-old! I was lying on the ground... just lying there, sobbing, crying, Midii, crying!"

He had tears streaming down his face.

"Obi-Wan..." she trailed off, holding onto his wrists. She stared down at them. "You're like bone. Have you been eating?"

The boy laughed dryly. "Every time I look at him, I lose my appetite. Every time I think about how pitiful I am I get nauseous. I've thrown up so much because of him—because of me... Now, I know he's going to leave me. He's going to leave me as my master. He doesn't want me, Midii. I heard him talking to Mace. He doesn't want a padawan, and most of all, me!"

"He's not going to leave you, Obi," she stated. "I know he loves you. Just as much as you love him."

After a few moments of silence, he wiped his face and stood up.

"You're a good liar, Midii. But what I don't need right now is a good liar."

And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving Midii alone. He heard her sniff quietly, but then he was gone.

Straightening himself up, he walked into the hallway full of Jedi whom were wandering this way and that. He knew, and he felt it, that if he took just a few more steps, a few small steps, he'd end up being right in front of the one he hated, but the one he gave his heart to. And, so, he took those two steps and stopped instantly.

"Obi-Wan, I've been looking for you."

The fifteen-year-old boy held his breath and waited for the worst.

"After speaking with Yoda and Mace, I've come to a conclusion."

Obi-Wan didn't lock eyes with his master. Instead, his gaze was fixated on the beautifully gray and dismal skies of Coruscant. It was raining outside.

"Tatooine."

So, Obi-Wan thought, smiling sadly to himself faintly, he's finally got enough of me.

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A/N: Should Midii and Jiro be included in the next chapter? I'm not sure how you guys will react to them. XD I think it's a love-hate sort of decision. Review? ^^; —Andrea