A/N: No comment. :D Just read.

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"Succumb Intoxication"

by ; andrea

x . c h a p t e r f o u r

; shadow of the past

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The ship was almost completely silent besides the whirring of the engines. It would be maybe another few hours before they would reach Tatooine. That was, before Obi-Wan would reach Tatooine. Who was he going to go with, anyway? Would he be completely alone? Would he have just a little home? Or would he be homeless? Would he have a partner—a master? No, not likely. He wanted to ask. Qui-Gon was sitting in the pilot's seat, so close... but he was so far away that Obi-Wan couldn't even speak to him.

"Take your hood off," Qui-Gon ordered quietly, breaking the silence.

"No, Master, I'm quite all right."

Obi-Wan had cold tears welling up in his eyes. His fingers and arms trembled slightly. If he hadn't been clenching his teeth, he would be rattling. The alcohol was beginning to wear off, but leaving its stains in Obi-Wan's body. He felt terribly cold, and horribly alone. But the lonesome feeling, of course, was not the cause of the blue drink.

Did he deserve this? Most likely, he did.

He was in such self-pity he didn't even realize Qui-Gon had jerked up from his seat. Tatooine! Has it already been that long? Yes, it has. Obi-Wan sat up straighter so he could see the planet through the large window of the ship. It was. Brown.

Brown... Big... and, well... brown.

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. Yes, this was it.

They had landed on Tatooine without much of a commotion. Following his master through the crowded streets full of rogues, smugglers and whatnot, the boy's mind kept on trailing back towards Coruscant. So, he would never see Coruscant again? Was his life already sorted out for him? He was to stay here for the rest of his life—until he died.

Until he died...

A terrible thought had haunted his mind ever since they landed. Giving in. Giving into his self-pity, his depression. He was already on the path to the Dark side, wasn't he? First it was anger... Then it was regret... Now it's depression. Soon it will be suffering. But hadn't he been suffering since the day he was a Jedi?!

His first master had died before they could even start a training bond. She was murdered. Murdered by a mere Kei pirate. His second master was a very mysterious man. They did talk, but Obi-Wan could admit now, that the man was very frightening. And he, yes, he was scared of him. After training for only two years, his master had joined the Dark side.

And the thought made a rush of coldness crawl through Obi-Wan's skin. He was tempted to join the Dark side. And, since he was young, maybe ten years old at the time, the council would have thought he had turned, having a malevolent master and such. But, Obi-Wan did not. Sometimes Obi-Wan would find himself thinking about what it would have been like for him if he had just given into his old master.

But he was glad when the council had told him he had made the right choice—and they were proud of him.

The council never did tell Qui-Gon about his padawan's past, had they?

But it didn't matter now. He was a Jedi, and one of the Light side. He would use the Force only for the good of ... everyone, even if that had excluded him.

Snapping himself back into reality, Obi-Wan noticed that Qui-Gon was speaking with a pinkish Twi'lek.

"You will take me to the cantina," he ordered, waving his hand slightly in the air.

The Twi'lek repeated his words and led the two Jedi to a cantina.

- - -

"Obi-Wan, stay here for a few minutes. I'll be back with someone who you must meet."

"Yes, master," Obi-Wan said quietly. He sat down at a table alone and stared at his hands. He didn't want to bring attention to himself. But the aliens around him began speaking about him—and he knew it. Qui-Gon must be bringing someone he was to stay with for the rest of his life.

Someone he was to stay with for the rest of his life.

Obi-Wan shivered, feeling a sudden sting of coldness crawl through his skin again. But, this time, it wasn't just him. Someone was doing it. Someone was watching him. Turning his eyes towards the cantina booth slowly, his crystal-blue eyes locked with a man...

A man he hadn't seen for years.

His eyes were flooded with fire but his grin was as cold as ice.

And that was what he recognized. The cold grin that used to be flooded with love for a boy, and the eyes full of rage that had used to be calm and concerned.

The uniform he wore was simply that of a Kei pirate. It was just merely a simple black uniform that would have stood out like a sore thumb in a crowd of every species of aliens. A black smuggler's vest was what he wore over a simple black shirt. It wasn't too convenient for the hot desert... but at least he was noticed as someone who you wouldn't want to toy around with. He wore tall, black shiny boots and his pants had a red stripe down both legs. The red stripe on the black pants gave him away. He was a Kei pirate—and a Dark Jedi.

Obi-Wan hadn't even noticed he had been trembling because of him.

Mikal Rela was his name. Master Rela was what Obi-Wan had called him once.

His once strawberry blonde hair had been tinted almost a pure crimson red.

Some creature scurried near his boots. It was the same creatures he remembered seeing on the lower levels of Coruscant... Those same spider creatures... That must mean...

"Qui..."

But it was too late. The man was hovering over him, already a hand on his shoulder.

"Little Obi-Wan. You're alone? Here? Why so?"

"I... I can take care of myself."

"Where's your new master?" he hissed, with a fake kind smile on his face.

He could feel the coldness seeping through his clothes and into his skin. He backed away and was now pressed against the wall, staring at the dark man with wide-eyes. He had never been so surprised in his life.

"He's here. In fact, he's right over there, Mikal," he said quietly, with complete and utter fear seeping through his voice.

Mikal smiled grimly and his eyes widened menacingly. Ice shot through Obi-Wan's bones and he froze instantly. His ex-master stood up straight, taking his hand off of Obi-Wan's shoulder. Then he turned around and left.

He's been following me, Obi-Wan thought. Scared... he was so scared... He felt so helpless... Who would save him now?

"Master Qui-Gon..."

Mikal disappeared into the crowd of aliens.

Who would save him now? Who would save him now? He was alone. He brought his legs up to his chest and put his chin on his knees. He wanted Qui-Gon to be here right now.

He felt like a five-year-old again.

He felt like the nine-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi who was tempted to give up his life and succumb to the Dark side just because of his master. He always had to follow his master, didn't he? He followed Mikal everywhere... everywhere until he met a man named Sidious... but, now, was he a Kei pirate? Or was he disguised as a Kei pirate?

He never told anyone about his ex-master—because he feared him.

- - -

A while later, Obi-Wan felt a hand on his shoulder that startled him. He backed away into the wall quickly before looking up. It was Qui-Gon.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said quietly, eyeing the boy, "Tomorrow I'll be leaving you. You're to stay with a woman named Lalé."

Obi-Wan watched the woman standing behind Qui-Gon. She was tall, thin and lanky. Much like Obi-Wan himself. Her dark brown hair seemed to blend in with her coffee-colored skin. She nodded at Obi-Wan.

But, Master, Obi-Wan tried to call through his bond as he turned to look at his master. I can't... stay here.

Qui-Gon did not hear. Or he just ignored.

"The reason why you're here," the woman interrupted, folding her arms across her chest. "Is to keep watch over one of the slaves. It is said that this one special slave may be that of an Imperial spy. The reason why we cannot just kill this person is because he is a slave and belongs to someone. If we kill this slave, the owner mind as well just kill us."

Great, Obi-Wan thought dryly, this deal just gets better and better. But he nodded.

"Your missions may be like this all the time. But this mission may last a while... because you are to be an undercover slave."

"But," Qui-Gon turned around to face the woman. He had been silent for quite some time. "That was never a part of the deal."

Deal? Qui-Gon does think of me as just an object.

"I told you half of the truth. I didn't lie. I just didn't say everything."

Lalé was one that couldn't be trusted. This whole planet couldn't be trusted. Lalé smiled cunningly showing her white teeth.

"All right."

"But, Master!" Obi-Wan but in harshly. The cantina almost fell silent. But then Obi-Wan spoke up again, this time quieter, "I can't stay here..."

"You will do as the council says."

"But the council didn't want me to go—you convinced them—"

"Obi-Wan, silence."

And, so, Obi-Wan was silent.

- - -

Obi-Wan stayed close to his master. The streets of Tatooine at night were not something the boy was particularly fond of—especially when he knew someone was watching him. He had been trembling very softly that Qui-Gon hadn't noticed. He was terribly frightened. He was frightened for himself. He was frightened for his future.

What was he worth now?!

Nothing, a voice said in the back of his head. He stopped walking, and just listened. You're worth nothing, Obi-Wan. Just give into it, Obi-Wan Kenobi, my dear padawan.

"Stop."

He turned around to face nothing.

"Go away. Leave me alone. Go away."

His voice was hardly a whisper.

"Is everything all right, Kenobi?" Lalé asked.

"Yes. I'm just going to go for a walk. I'll... be at your place in a while."

He turned back around to face Lalé and Qui-Gon. They watched him for a moment before Qui-Gon nodded. They turned around and began walking towards their destination— Lalé's home.

Obi-Wan pulled his hood gently over his head and began walking. He knew he'd eventually meet up with the man who was invading his thoughts.

- - -

Obi-Wan sat down near a stand that, during the day, was full of animal carcasses: food. The smell was still tainting the air. The moons were high up in the sky now. He wondered if Qui-Gon was worried about him. He did, after all, say that he would be at Lalé's place in just a while. It's been more than a while.

He two black boots stand before him. He looked up to see the same man he feared, but the same man he wanted to see stand right in front of him. He smiled down at Obi-Wan coldly.

"Hello there, again," Mikal said. His smile twisted into a malicious grin. "Feeling a little down?"

Obi-Wan stared at Mikal. He was terrified of the man. He pressed his back into the post that he was leaning on and just stared at the man.

"You fear me, don't you?" Mikal bent down and stared at the boy at his eye level. "Good. All you need to do is just give into me—the Dark side. All your problems will go away."

"I want you to leave me alone. Just leave me alone," Obi-Wan wailed quietly as he pressed his head back against the pole.

"You want me to leave you alone? How come you don't want Qui-Gon to leave you alone? He never cared for you, you know."

"I know."

"He's going to let you die here, you know."

"I know." It came as no surprise to Obi-Wan that Mikal knew that.

"I would never do that to you."

"You did," Obi-Wan stated, locking his eyes with his ex-master's.

"Oh, but that was your choice. I offered, Obi-Wan. I would never force you to. I'm asking you now. Come with me."

"I..."

"Give into your depression, Obi-Wan. You'll never feel it again. You'll be with me—I'm that one that loved you, Obi-Wan. Not like that egotistical Qui-Gon Jinn."

"I know you loved me."

Mikal curled his lips back into an exaggerated sad face. "Don't you love me, too?"

"I did. I did until you killed yourself."

"Killed myself? Oh, Obi. I'm as alive as I could ever be."

"Stop it... I don't want to be... like you." Obi-Wan stared at Mikal, trembling. The boy's face was pale with fright.

"You don't have to be like me. Obi-Wan, I would never leave you if that weren't what you wanted. I loved you like a son, my boy."

"Then why'd you turn? Why...?"

"Because it was everything I ever wanted. Obi-Wan, I wanted you to come with me, really, I did. But it was your decision..." Mikal's smile widened into a twisted grin. "You see, I let you choose. Not like Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan felt his mind getting probed. He tried hiding his feelings, he tried to remain stoic but he couldn't... He didn't know how...

"I can see through your mental shields, my apprentice. All you need to do is let me feel your pain—I'll take it away from you right away, Obi. You are a gifted boy... Put your special strengths to use!"

"I..."

Should he give into him? Should he give into the Dark side?! But Mikal was right. He was right in every way there was.

"I..."

"Just let your feelings free. I'll make everything better. Everything you dreamed of... will be yours, Obi."

"Qui-Gon..." his voice was weak. His eyes softened and he lowered himself towards the floor. "... Qui-Gon help... You, leave me alone... I..."

"Give in."

"I..."

"Give into it!"

Obi-Wan's hands trailed down to his belt. His fingers brushed against his light saber.

"Obi, how can you still stand by a man like that?! That's all you have right now! If you just give in, you could have anything you wanted!"

He stared at Mikal. He wanted to be with him so badly—be with someone who would care for him so badly. But Mikal wasn't able to be trusted anymore. He's a Dark Jedi... But he's happy...

And he wants Obi-Wan to be with him?

He wants Obi-Wan to be with him?

Obi-Wan felt Mikal grab his hand gingerly and hold it in front of their faces. "Obi-Wan, it's all you wanted..."

Obi-Wan felt himself giving in...

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A/N: HA! I am EVIL! D Stay tuned for the next chapter! There may only be two/maybe three more chapters to this... but they'll be long! Stay tuned! Does this situation remind of you of Luke/Vader? That was kind of my inspiration. D Heh. Who will be Obi-Wan's savior now?!