Chapter Three: High School Reunion
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I felt fat. I felt hungry. I felt like killing every male within a five-mile radius of me. I felt like doing…something to Gohan, which can't really be mentioned here. And this was before I put on my dress for the reunion.
"I can't wear this dress! It makes me look fat!" Videl whined.
"Of course it does. You're five months pregnant." Goten said innocently. Gohan casually picked his brother up by his collar and tossed him out the door.
"Don't worry, he's gone." Gohan said, silently breathing a sigh of relief as his wife calmed down. "You look beautiful."
"But everyone will be able to see that I'm pregnant." Videl said.
"What's wrong with that? It's one of the most beautiful and natural things in the world. I'll be beaming with pride when we walk into that room." Gohan said. He was expecting his wife to appreciate what he said, but it did not turn out that way.
"Why? So you can gloat to Josh Harris that you knocked me up successfully?" Videl asked. Gohan blushed.
"Of course not!" Gohan said.
"Mmm hmm. Pass me those tennis shoes."
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't know anything about fashion and even I know that they don't go with dresses."
"You really want me to slip and fall while my tremendous weight crushes a pair of stilettos?"
"Posh Spice didn't crush her stilettos…"
"Posh Spice is rich and can afford steady stilettos. I'll wear whatever I want to okay? You just get dressed."
"I am dressed." Gohan said. He was wearing a blue shirt and some smart trousers, with a black jacket.
"Ooooh, I am so impressed. The baby knows how to dress himself." Videl said mockingly.
"What's wrong with you?" Gohan asked. Videl burst into tears.
"Ohh, I am so sorry honeeeeeeeeeeeey!" Videl wailed as she collapsed in Gohan's arms.
**Oh my god, she's totally psycho! Next thing you know, she's gonna be talking to herself in a rocking chair with a wig on!**
Despite Gohan's horrible reference to Psycho, we got through the stages of getting ready and left the house to leave for Orange Star High. We weren't the only ones having problems though…
"What do you mean you're not going?!" David yelled into the phone.
"Hon, shh! I just got Claudia down to sleep!" Andrea said, walking into the living room. "Who are you talking to?"
"Natalie. She says she's not going. Apparently her and Nick got into a little tiff."
"It's not a little tiff David! He's being a jerk!" Natalie said.
"Hold on…" David said, clicking some buttons on the telephone. "Hi Nick, it's Dave. And Nat's on the other line as well."
"You jackass! How could you put on the three way calling?!" Natalie yelled.
"Oh great, little red went crying to her big brother David!" Nicholas said sarcastically. "What is he going to do? Yell me into submission?"
"I did not go crying to anyone you little son of a…" Natalie said.
"Woah, hold on before you say something you regret…what do you mean yell at you? I could take you on stretch!" David yelled.
"David!" Andrea said. David laughed sheepishly.
"Why are the two of you not talking?" David asked.
"Because HE is an insensitive bastard!" Natalie said.
"Because SHE is being an immature little brat!" Nicholas replied.
"Are either of you going to tell me what's going on?" David asked.
"Ask him/her!" They both said.
"Oy vey…" David sighed. "Look, if you aren't going to come together then just come! It's not going to be the same without you guys."
"Are you really going to miss HIS second hand jokes Dave?" Natalie asked.
"What?!" Nicholas said.
"It's true! You are reincarnation of Ron Stoppable!" Natalie said.
"I always thought I was Ron Stoppable." David said. "Remember, you were Kim and I was Ron cos we looked like 'em. Gohan was Wade, Videl was Shego, Andrea was that hot senior chick and Nicholas was that Mankey dude."
"Oh yeah…" Natalie remembered. "Okay then, a reincarnated version of Chandler Bing!! How's that?"
"Better." David replied.
"Uh! So not!" Nicholas retorted.
"So so!" Natalie shot back.
"You are such a self involved…"
"Me?! What about you? You spend at least two hours a day on your…"
"At least I don't obsess over certain blonde haired…"
"That's what this is all about! You are such a possessive…"
"Over what? Shrimpy little…"
"Shrimpy? You've got to be kidding me! He kicked enough…"
"Maybe he did! But he's not the one who puts up with you!"
"HE'S FICTIONAL OATMEAL FOR BRAINS!!"
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE TELLING YOURSELF THAT NOT ME!!"
"AT LEAST I DON'T DROOL OVER THAT LITTLE WHORE FROM…"
"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!"
"UH! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! I'M COMING COS OF DAVID BUT OTHERWISE I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!! AND MY HAIR IS AUBURN NOT RED KETTLE HEAD!!" Natalie hung up. After a beat, so did Nicholas.
"What the hell was that about?" David asked.
"Isn't it obvious? Part one of the trilogy was on TV last night." Andrea said.
"Ohh…Nick can get so jealous sometimes." David said shaking his head. "He really needs to get over that."
"Can you blame him though? They're not married yet and we all are. Even Videl and Gohan are going to be parents. I think he feels left out." Andrea said.
"They'll sort it out." David said. After a pause he added, "So, do you…"
"Honey, every heterosexual female does. It's nothing personal." Andrea said.
"I can live with that then."
Orange Star High…
"I can't go in there Gohan. Everyone will be staring at me!" Videl said.
"They won't be staring at you honey." Gohan reassured.
"He's right. They'll be looking at Nick's receding hairline, so you don't have to worry." Natalie sneered. Nicholas touched the top of his head without knowing.
"Can you please behave in a civilised manner for once in your lives?!" Videl shrieked.
"Yes ma'am." They both uttered.
"Can we go in now? I bought this new dress and I want to show it off." Andrea said, grabbing her husband's hand and walking into the gym. There was a banner welcoming them back and the gym itself was decorated exactly the way it was the day of the senior prom. Everyone else was already mingling.
"See? No one is staring at you honey." Gohan said.
"I know, it's like they're all avoiding eye contact with me…" Videl sighed. Gohan wanted to rip his hair out but just smiled. "Ooh look. Here comes Sharpener and Ashley."
"As in together?" Gohan asked.
"They got together at our wedding Gohan! Get with the program!" Videl said. Gohan sighed. "Hi guys!"
"Hey Videl. Son." Sharpener said.
"Sharpener."
"Ashley."
"Videl. Gohan!" There was a brief silence.
"So, you're pregnant huh? Congrats Son. Didn't think you had it in you!" Sharpener chuckled.
"Oh you asked for it." Gohan said.
"Huh?"
Meanwhile…
"I mean, is that too much to ask for?" Nicholas said.
"Course not man." David replied. "Just give her time."
"It's not about that. I mean, look at her. She acts as if she doesn't care that we're at odds with each other. There she goes, dancing with Owen." Nicholas seethed.
"Nick, calm down before you do something you regret." David said.
"OW!! DAMMIT!!"
"Wow, Videl sucker punched Sharpener. How cool!" David laughed. He looked around and Nicholas was gone. "Shit."
"Hey, Owen. Why are you dancing with my girl?" Nicholas demanded. Owen sweat-dropped.
"Nick, I'm dancing with her because she's my friend. All of us were in the same band for three years." Owen replied.
"Getting awfully close for a friend, aren't you?" Nicholas asked. Natalie rolled her eyes.
"Baka, he's already here with someone." Natalie said, pointing to a very pretty girl. Nicholas blushed with embarrassment and left them.
"What's up with him?" Owen asked.
"You know Nick, possessive." Natalie replied.
"That's only because he loves you so much."
"The feeling is mutual you know."
"When's the last time you told him that?" Owen asked. Natalie remained silent.
Elsewhere…
"I can't believe you did that Videl! I was insulting Son, not you!" Sharpener said, clutching his nose.
"Isn't it obvious? She's jealous that I got to marry you and she's stuck with the geek." Ashley said.
"The geek with the nice butt!" A random person shouted out. Gohan blushed furiously.
"Well I've been complemented on it many times but I wouldn't say it was…" Gohan stammered nervously.
"Gohan! Ms Bennington over here just insulted me. AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!" Videl shrieked. Gohan started to sweat nervously. Even though he was a brave warrior he was scared to death of verbal confrontation, especially girls, as he tended to lose his temper and make them cry. Well, there was only one incident but Gohan made a general maxim for himself. "WELL?!" Videl demanded.
"Ashley, Videl punched Sharpener because…" Gohan said, in a calm tone. He took a deep breath and continued. "Quite frankly, he's an arrogant asshole and needed someone to put him in his place. As for being jealous, Videl could have found someone a million times better than me but I'm lucky that I found her. And I make sure she knows how I feel everyday. I bet Mr Peroxide Head over here hasn't even told you once how he feels. So next time you insult my wife, don't think I'll hold back on you just because you're a woman." Gohan finished. He felt a twinge of guilt as Ashley's eyes welled up with guilt but that soon disappeared when he saw the grateful smile on his wife's face. There was silence throughout the gym until someone broke the silence.
"Hey…Gohan cursed man!" A random guy said, as everyone continued to discuss how lucky Videl was, what an idiot Sharpener was and that Gohan cursing meant that the apocalypse was near.
I know, aren't I so lucky? I didn't think it was possible but I fell more and more in love with Gohan as this pregnancy went on. After that night, he was tending to my every need. No matter what time or how small. He was like my own personal superhero. But I felt sorry for our new doctor, Dr Steppenwolf, because Gohan would not stop calling her every time I felt discomfort.
"What do you mean I'm overreacting?! She's breathing irregularly!" Gohan yelled.
"Um Gohan?" Videl tried to say.
"Not now honey…yes I am sure!! Of course I've asked her what's wrong! I'm not an idiot."
"Gohan…"
"Hold on Doc. What is it Videl?" Gohan asked.
"My breathing is irregular because I just drank a whole gallon of water in one go."
"…Oh. Sorry doc." Gohan said sheepishly. "Geez, Videl. Where's it all going?"
"Where do you think."
"Ohh…right! Hehehe…" Gohan laughed. The doorbell rang. "Ahem, I'll get that!"
"Who is it?" Videl asked.
"Um, it's your father. I think…" Gohan replied. Videl raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean…oh my…" Videl said, as she laid eyes on her father. He was dressed in a leather outfit, with his hair dyed bleach blonde and a motorcycle helmet in one hand. "Dad?"
"Videl! What's up girl?!" Mr Satan said, in a ridiculous voice. Gohan laughed nervously. "I was just cruising around the block and thought I pop in on my favourite daughter."
"Sir, she's your only daughter." Gohan pointed out.
"You never know! Hehe." He replied, nudging Gohan in the ribs. Videl looked at her father like he had two heads. "Can I use your bathroom? I just had a burrito and…"
"Yeah! Sure! Just go!" Videl shrieked. Mr Satan smiled gratefully and ran upstairs. "The hell?!?!"
"Don't worry Videl. He's behaving perfectly natural for someone his age." Gohan replied.
"Did you see the same person I did Gohan?! He was like a mix of James Dean, Eminem and a pro wrestler!"
"Well technically, he is…"
"I don't want technically Gohan!"
"Honey, he's just going through a midlife crisis! Probably because his little girl is having a little girl of her own." Gohan said. Videl folded her arms.
"It doesn't give him the excuse to act like a buffoon!"
"Well technically, it does…"
"What did I say about technically Gohan?!?!"
"Sorry."
"I'm bored!" Videl announced. "And I'm extremely emotional!"
"Not to mention extremely horny."
"What was that?!"
"Nothing!"
"I need something to do." Videl pondered. "Ooh, Nick and Nat aren't speaking to each other! I can fix that!"
"I don't think that's such a good idea. They usually sort these things out on their own."
"If they had your attitude then I'd be married to Sharpener instead of you." Videl pointed out.
"Why always Sharpener? I mean, did you not have any other boyfriends?" Gohan asked annoyed. Videl picked up the phone and dialled. "Fine. Don't listen to me. You're just unleashing horror on yourself."
And so it began. I kept hounding Nicholas and Natalie all the way through my second trimester. Neither of them would let up on what was wrong. All I knew was Natalie had said something, it upset Nicholas and now they weren't talking. As I grew larger, I hounded them even more. Which, with hindsight, was a bad idea as it made them angrier at each other. Anyway, I'm sure you don't want to hear about that so let's fast forward onto the interesting part. My last month of pregnancy.
To Be Continued…
I know I'm taking a shortcut, but this needs to be interesting! So I'm skipping to the funnies okay? Watch this space!