Part: 1/1
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied slash
Pairings: Harry/Ron
Summary: Ron is depressed and Harry tries to help.
Authors Notes: This just pounced up on me. And I had wanted to write fluff. *kicks muse*
It is an ugly habit. Quiet and understated. So much so that at first glance it might not seem so ugly. But if you squint and turn your head just right, the grotesqueness is shocking.
He is not so ugly as his habit. Not in my eyes.
"Ron."
Silence.
"Ron... Please."
No, words would do no good. He didn't hear the words. I touched his shoulder and he shivered.
"Harry?" The words are choked. It is like there is a hand around his throat.
"I'm here."
Ron puts the knife down and sets it on the mattress. He leans toward me so slightly that anyone else would have missed it. Not me. I know everything he does. Everything he was. Everything he would ever be. But, instead he decides to lean forward, then turn on his side. He is curled up like a fetus.
"Why?"
"You know why."
He hugs his knees closer to his chest as I move toward him. I know that I shouldn't, but I run my fingers through his hair. It's too soft. I want to bury myself in it. I want to spend the rest of my existence in it.
"I miss you." His eyes stare beyond me. Always beyond me now. Never at me. I want his eyes lost in my eyes, but it can't be that way anymore. It can't be the way it used to be.
"I have to go."
A whimper escapes his throat and he hides his face against his knees. I lean in close to his ear. I can almost smell him, but it's too faint now. Too far away. Everything here is.
"Remember that I love you. I always loved you."
"I need you."
"No. You don't." I stand and find that I am looking beyond him now too. He's so distant.
"Why?"
"Ron, stop."
He sits up again suddenly and grabs the knife. He stabs the mattress ferociously, his bloodied arms flashing, bellowing like a madman. Perhaps he is a madman now.
"Why?"
His voice is becoming faint now. It's almost disappeared. And so has he.
Just before we fade from each other entirely, I hear the last words I will ever hear from him. Raw. Broken.
"Why did you have to die?"